20. Sometimes she saw very little difference between Jeremie and X.A.N.A.

Yumi isn't sure when the thought first took root. Once, when the sky was beginning to turn that pale, dusty gray color of dawn, she had let her mind wander. She blames the lack of sleep, the stress of another close call, her upcoming math test on that first insidious thought.

Is there really that much of a difference between Jeremie and X.A.N.A.?

She'd thrown the mental door shut immediately on that thought, rolled over to stare out the window at silhouetted trees and a lone streetlight. That way lead madness. Jeremie was nothing like X.A.N.A. He was the complete opposite, the antithesis of the evil computer.

Her phone buzzed, Jeremie's name flashing across the screen briefly. FYI practice run 4pm sharp.

But, she thought, what is the difference between devotion and obsession?

. . … . .

"We could use this," Jeremie stated.

"I can't believe you're suggesting this," Ulrich replied, shaking his head. "You were the biggest supporter of ditching Sissi and now you want me to use her?"

"Sometimes in war you have to get your hands dirty."

"Do you hear yourself?" Ulrich demanded.

"Ulrich has a point," Yumi stated.

"And so does Einstein," Odd replied.

They were gathered on the empty bleachers, away from the general populace of the school who had all drifted indoors out of the cold air. Yumi could feel a headache coming on.

"This is insane," Ulrich snapped.

"Look, we need a distraction and you were the genius who decided to get detention."

"I didn't decide-"

"Sissi likes you and it isn't a secret. Play it up some in order to get out of detention tonight."

"This is wrong," Yumi repeated. She looked at Ulrich. "You aren't seriously considering this, are you?"

"Sissi doesn't oversee detention, that's Jim. And I am not cozying up to Jim."

"We all know Sissi will complain to Delmas and Delmas will have Jim let you off for good behavior. Come on, we need all of us for the test tonight."

Ulrich glared and Yumi felt her temples throb. "Fine," he agreed. "But just this one time."

"Of course," Jeremie agreed, looking relieved.

"You wanna practice what you're going to say?" Odd questioned. "You'll probably only have one shot, so better not mess it up."

"Shut-up, Odd," Ulrich groaned.

. . … . .

"We should shut it down immediately."

"How can you say that?" Jeremie protested. "After all the time we've put into this, after everything we've done?"

"Someone died, Jeremie. A living, breathing, person died. We should shut it down immediately; this shouldn't even be a discussion!" They had been having the same argument for the past thirty minutes, ever since they'd found Jeremie with his head in his hands.

"Yes, Yumi, someone died. And if we stop now that death will be in vain. And what about Aelita, you want to just abandon her?" Jeremie shoved his glasses up and looked over her shoulder. "Well, are you two going to say anything?"

Yumi turned, eyeing the other two boys. Odd scuffed the toe of his yellow sneakers against the factory floor, drawing lines through the dust. Ulrich shifted, hands in his pockets. "Jer has a point, Yumi," he said finally.

"You are all unbelievable."

"This is for the best," Jeremie replied. "We're so close."

"We are playing with people's lives."

"We are trying to rescue Aelita!" She shook her head, turning for the door. "Yumi, come on! Yumi!"

/

"Go away, I'm not talking to you," Yumi stated.

"You don't have to talk," Ulrich replied. He fell into step with her as she hurried home after school. "The funeral is tomorrow at eleven." She stared ahead, kept her pace steady. "Jeremie, Odd, and I are going."

She snorted. "Jeremie is going to the funeral? He said he didn't want us anywhere near the family."

"We aren't going to the funeral, just the cemetery. It seems…right."

"Nothing about this seems right, Ulrich."

"Look, you don't have to come, but I wanted you to know about it, just in case."

She paused, tugging at the strap of her backpack. "Do you really agree with Jeremie about this? Lyoko is dangerous."

"We knew what we were signing on for," he replied. "We knew there would be dangers."

"We knew this?"

"No, we didn't. But Jer's right in a way. We've done all this, the lying, the secrecy, the…well, everything I guess. We've done all of this to bring Aelita here and if we give up, then what was the point of it all? Phillippe Dumas will still be dead. If we manage to bring Aelita to our world, then maybe there would've been a reason for it."

Yumi scrubbed a hand over her face, tucked her hair behind her ears. "I just don't like it."

"No one does, Yumi. We need you though; Odd and I can't do it on our own."

"I'll meet you at the cemetery tomorrow at ten-thirty," she replied. She caught Ulrich's small smile and he reached up, squeezing her shoulder lightly. "I'm still not talking to you."

"Of course not," he agreed.

. . … . .

"This isn't healthy," Yumi stated, closing the door with a bang. Jeremie jerked from where he was half slumped over the keyboard. "You should go to bed."

"I was just resting for a moment, I'm fine."

"Jeremie, you've been working non-stop for weeks now on the materialization program." Yumi crossed Jeremie's room and peered over his shoulder at the code on the screen. "You'll make more progress if you sleep."

"I'll take longer if I sleep," he countered. He rubbed at his eyes and looked at the clock. "It's seven already?"

"It is," she agreed. "If I hadn't stopped by you would have missed class." Jeremie pursed his lips and she frowned. "Jeremie, you have to go to class. You're becoming obsessed."

"I'm so close though, I know it." His eyes drifted back to the screen and Yumi had to cross her arms to keep from reaching out and closing the laptop screen.

"And waiting until the end of the day won't kill you. Come on, breakfast first, then class, then saving the world."

. . … . .

Odd still looked green when the scanner doors slid open, but he was smiling and laughing. He threw an arm around both Yumi and Aelita, and Yumi had to wonder how much of that was for show and how much was because he was still queasy from the trip to Sector Five. Aelita grinned back and wrapped her arm around Odd's waist as they step into the elevator.

"Who needs Ulrich, huh? We totally beat X.A.N.A. without him," Odd joked.

Yumi should have realized, should have known as soon as she'd stepped out of the scanner doors. Jeremie would have done a Return, even if it was risky, a runaway train was too noticeable to be left as it was. She should have known.

Instead, she was standing and laughing with the others as the doors slid open and they stepped out of the elevator into the supercomputer room. Jeremie's face was stark in the light cast from the computer screen, his eyes obscured by the glare reflecting off his glasses.

"We can't go back," he stated. Yumi froze and Odd stumbled along with her.

"What? Why?" Aelita questioned. Her fingers clutched Odd's shirt as Jeremie turned back to the computer screen. "Who?" she demanded.

"The conductor," Jeremie replied. Yumi counted heartbeats, trying to calm the rushing in her ears. One…two…three…four…five… "We…we can't, it's impossible."

"We were too slow," Yumi stated. She felt odd, disconnected. Her shoulders slumped, her head felt light. She remembered that day, standing in this same room and learning that Phillippe Dumas would never get older than six years. She's aware of Aelita sinking to the floor, pulling Odd with her, sobbing loudly. "We were too goddamn slow!" Yumi screamed and kicked a pile of scrap metal across the floor.

The echoing clangs briefly drowned out Aelita's sobs. Jeremie looked away, shoulders hunched as he studied the computer screen. Odd cleared his throat. "Well, who tells Ulrich?"

/

"Yumi."

"You promised," Yumi snapped. "Phillippe was a one-time thing, a miscalculation."

"What would you have had me do, Yumi?" Jeremie demanded. "I wasn't on Lyoko and we were down a fighter, if you recall."

"I don't know, and don't ever say that to Ulrich," she replied. She tugged at her hair and stared at the glossy hospital tiles. "Don't ever imply this is his fault, he won't be able to handle it."

"If he had come to Lyoko then maybe this wouldn't have happened." Jeremie adjusted his glasses and leaned against the wall next to her. "If we'd had another fighter…"

"It was his sister, Jeremie."

"And what good did he do her top-side?" Yumi bristled and Jeremie sighed, head hanging. "I don't want to fight. It's no one's fault, and we don't know what would have happened one way or the other," he stated, voice quiet. "We did what we had to do."

"I thought all of this was supposed to end when Aelita was here, with us."

Jeremie gives her a bleak look. "So did I, Yumi."

/

Odd was lounging in one of the café chairs when she walked up. He had a cup of coffee and half a plate of pastries in front of him. She wondered how long he had been waiting. "You've looked better," he greeted her.

"Those better be for me." She dropped her bag at her feet and sank into the chair across from him. Wordlessly, he slid the plate of pastries over to her but kept the coffee clutched in his hands.

"I'm here," he told her, voice hushed. She felt the tears threaten again and ate an éclair instead. "Well, apparently Monet truly pissed off someone because they replaced her shampoo with a shocking shade of red hair dye. I'm telling you, Little Mermaid-red. Her screams could be heard in our building. Jim about had a heart attack."

Yumi felt herself smile and Odd flagged down a waitress, ordered another coffee and a mint tea. "I know what you're trying to do."

"You know nothing," Odd replied, sipping at his coffee. "I hear Milly and Tamiya managed to snap a photo of the damage before Monet sequestered herself in her room. I imagine she may grace tomorrow's Chronicle unless something else happens."

She rubbed at her eyes and ate another pastry. The waitress set the coffee and tea down with a soft clatter. Everything felt normal, everything felt wrong. Yumi shivered and pulled her sleeves down, rubbed idly at the inked initials and dates on her wrist.

"He promised, Odd. We promised. And now…"

"And now we deal with it," Odd replied. "We're human, Yumi. The stupid part about being human is you make mistakes. The great part is you get to learn from them." He shrugged and kicked at the empty chair between them. "Faen, we're not even sixteen years old. I think we've done pretty good for ourselves."

She tugged at her sleeves again, wrapped her hands around the warm teacup in front of her. "Jeremie won't like it but I want to get a tattoo, to remember this."

Odd leaned back, stared up at the sky. "Einstein won't like it," he agreed. "But, I think I know someone who can help."

"You do?"

"If you're serious," he met her eyes again, "if you really want to do this. Yeah, I can arrange it."

"I do, I need to."

He nodded, took a crème puff in hand and popped it into his mouth. "I'll take care of everything, okay?"

"Okay."