23. Until the day she died she would never admit that she was happy Hiroki was in that accident (it made the fighting stop).

Her earliest memory of her parents' fighting is when she was four. Her mother was pregnant with her baby brother, though she wasn't really sure what that meant besides her mother getting rounder and more prone to yelling. And she was supposed to be getting a new playmate in a few months, like a doll but alive. But, she'd been told, more fragile than her usual dolls. More like the collectible ones on the top shelf at her grandmother's house, the ones she couldn't touch. She wasn't sure how she was supposed to have a new playmate if she couldn't touch it.

That first fight, she had been lying in bed, staring up at her ceiling and listening to her parents yell in the living room. Her mother's voice was angry, wet with tears. Her father's was loud and controlled, sharp and cutting. She heard something crash and a door slam.

They had been arguing about her baby brother's name.

. . … . .

Yumi is seven when she runs away from home. She doesn't run far, in the grand scheme of things, but she does make it two streets over to where Hina lived. Hina's mother had opened the door, taken a look at the stubborn set to Yumi's jaw, the furrowed eyebrows, and let her in before ringing her parents.

Hina grins when she sees her, grabs her hand and drags her away upstairs to play pretend. Hina's mother appears in the doorway after they've both donned dress-up clothes and are bouncing around Hina's small room. Hina looks up, pout already in place. "It's not time for Yumi to go, is it?" she whines.

"No," Hina's mother replies. She kneels down in front of Yumi, adjusts the hat she's wearing so that it doesn't fall in her face. "Would you like to stay the night, Yumi?"

"Yes, please."

That night, she lays awake in Hina's bed and stares at the shadows dancing across Hina's ceiling. Hina turns over next to her, pokes her in the shoulder. "Go to sleep, Yumi."

"Do your parents fight?" she asks. She turns and can make out Hina's face in the glow from the night light next to the bed. Her friend's face is drawn, bottom lip pulled in between her teeth and eyes curious. "Do they get mad?"

"Of course," Hina replies. She shrugs and then adjusts the blanket. "You always fight with the people you love, right?" It's Yumi's turn to shrug. "You love Hiroki, right?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"But you got mad when he colored in that book you like," Hina continues. "Mad comes with love, right? Right?"

"Guess so," Yumi replies. She turns over, yawning. "Night, Hina."

"Night, Yumi."

. . … . .

"You know it's around 13 degrees out?" Shannon asks. Yumi lets her shoulders lift and fall listlessly. Shannon drops onto the swing next to her and offers Yumi the coffee in her hands. "It'll warm you up."

"I'm not cold."

"Okay."

They sit quietly and she studies the tracks in the sand. Idly, she turns her cell phone over in her hands, flips it open to check her messages, the battery life. Shannon sips at her coffee silently. She chances a glance at her finally, sees Shannon staring across the playground to where Hiroki is playing with a brown-haired boy his own age. She can't remember his name, Jimmy or Johnny or Jean or something.

"What are you doing here?" she asks.

"Sitting, enjoying the company." Shannon slides a gaze over to her. "You want to talk about it?"

"Not much to say," she replies.

"I stopped by your house to see if you wanted to study for the history test together," Shannon says, voice soft and even. Yumi feels her shoulders tighten, but Shannon is playing with the end of her grey-and-purple scarf, not looking at her. "Figured you'd be here when I heard the yelling."

"And you were right," she murmurs. "They were still at it, huh?"

Shannon is quiet long enough that she lifts her head to look over again. She's staring off at the far trees circling the playground area. "Sounded that way from the porch," she says finally. She looks at her and Yumi nods, feels Shannon's hand squeeze her arm. "If you ever want to talk, I'm here, okay?"

She nods, looks over to where the younger boys are fighting each other with sticks. She appreciates the offer, truly, but she knows it's not something Shannon would understand.

. . … . .

Yumi is seventeen when she comes home from school to find her parents fighting. She isn't sure what started the fight, but they are in the kitchen and she hears angry, muffled Japanese through the closed door. Rolling her eyes, she kicks her shoes off at the door and then takes the stairs two at a time.

She knocks on Hiroki's closed door and gets no response. Shrugging, she wanders into her room, taps out u ok on the wall between their desks. Still no response and she knows he's probably huddled in bed with his new noise-cancelling headphones on and some video game playing. Sometimes she wonders how he manages to pass any of his classes.

She puts her own headphones in, cranks up Odd's newest music recommendation, and pulls out her laptop to work on her essay. Will texts her periodically, mostly nonsense limericks and poems that make her laugh and blush. Aelita emails her a recipe she wants to try for Girl's Night. She hesitates, sends Ulrich a quick text. She isn't checking up on him, she's just making sure he's in the right headspace.

Jeremie calls at eight and she picks up immediately as she scans her essay for the third time. "Stop freaking out," she says.

"I'm not freaking out," he protests. "I'm just evaluating all options."

"Aelita will say yes. You know this."

"But what if she doesn't want to go out with me?"

Yumi thunks her head into her hand and saves her essay before she forgets. "Jeremie, come on. It's you and Aelita, you two were made for each other. You've been making doe-eyes at each other for years."

"You sound like Odd," Jeremie mutters darkly.

That makes her pause and she frowns. "Did you ask Odd for advice?"

"I didn't have to ask," Jeremie says after a lengthy pause. "He freely volunteers his opinions." That sounds more normal, so Yumi nods even though Jeremie can't see her. "I just don't want to mess this up, Yumi."

"Look, taking that leap of faith is scary, but it'll work out, you'll see. And if it doesn't and she says no? Then you know. I mean, I said no to Ulrich plenty of times before we eventually got together." She pauses. "Wait, that may not be the best example. We didn't work out, but we don't regret it either, okay?"

"Uh huh," Jeremie replies, voice thick with doubt.

"We don't," she promises. There's a knock on her door before it opens and her mother looks in, face half shadowed from the hall light. Yumi frowns. "Hold on," she says into the phone. "Mom?"

"Yumi, did Hiroki tell you he was going out?"

"Out?" Yumi repeats, frown deepening. "Isn't he in his room playing video games?"

Her mother shakes her head. "No, your father and I can't find him."

/

Two officers from the gendarmerie shows up around ten, when it's clear that Hiroki isn't in the house and Johnny swears up and down over the phone that he hasn't seen Hiroki since school ended. Yumi paces the living room while the officers ask questions and look around.

"And what were you doing?" the woman asks. "While your parents were having a discussion in the kitchen? Did you see your brother at all?"

Yumi shakes her head, tugs her hair into a ponytail. "No," she says. "I knocked on his door…I thought he was playing video games," she says. She pulls her hair loose again and looks at her parents.

Her mother is sitting at the kitchen table, her father standing statuesque behind her. He has his hands on her shoulders and her mother is clutching one of his hands, her face pale and haunted. Yumi has to look away and her attention is drawn to the male officer descending the stairs, holding her brother's backpack in his hands.

"This is Hiroki's?" he asks.

"Yes," she says immediately. "For school."

"Are any of his belongings missing?" the woman asks.

Her father shakes his head and her mother reaches for a cup of tea. "No, nothing. Our son did not run away."

Yumi sinks into the recliner and pulls out her phone to check her messages again. Still nothing from her brother. "What about his bike?" she asks. "Is it still here? I don't remember if it was on the porch when I got home."

The male officer shakes his head. "There wasn't a bike when we arrived."

"Our son did not run away," her father repeats "He has no reason to run away."

. . … . .

"How's Hiroki?" Ulrich asks. They wander away from Kadic, heading toward the park out of habit. Yumi shrugs, stuffs her hands into her hoodie pouch.

"He's alright," she says finally. "He has some issues getting around still, and complains about the crutches all the time." She lets out a laugh. "It's actually annoying, but I'm happy to be annoyed, you know?"

Ulrich bumps her shoulder with his. "I understand," he replies.

She tucks a strand of hair behind her ear and sighs. Hiroki has been home for three days from his brief clinic stay. It had taken the gendarmerie and a rescue team four hours to locate her brother, finding him in a ditch near the wooded area after his bike had been struck by a car that didn't stop. The fact that he'd only suffered a broken leg and few contusions had been miracle enough.

"How's Annie doing, is she still in physical therapy?" she asks.

He nods. "She's okay, thanks. She has a few more sessions, but she's been able to play again so I think her hands will be okay. Except one finger, maybe." They enter the park and skirt the playground. "He'll be okay too."

"If I had gone home earlier and not stayed to study with Shannon…"

"Then what?" Ulrich asks. "It was an accident, Yumi. And the jackass who didn't stop after hitting a kid on a bike? That's the person to blame."

She lets her hand run along the shrubs, ignoring the cold and prickly sticks scratching her palms. "My parents were fighting and he left to get away from it," she says, voice soft. "He hates it when they fight and I didn't even try to look in on him, not really."

"And that's not your fault, Yumi," Ulrich says. They pause at the fork, left loops back around and right branches off to the road she takes home. "You aren't responsible for fixing your parents' mistakes."

She laughs, voice brittle in the cold air. "Yeah? When did you get all wise and knowing?"

He smiles at her, nudges her again with his shoulder. "Life experience, I guess," he replies. "Tell the kid I hope he feels better. If he's up for it we can do a game night."

"He'd like that," she replies, smiling.

Ulrich reaches out, hand warm through her hoodie, and meets her eyes. "He'll be fine, Yumi. You both will."

/

"It's weird, isn't it?" Hiroki asks. Yumi looks up from where she's doodling koi fish around his cast. Hiroki's attention is captured by their parents out on the back deck. She sees her mother laugh and her heart constricts. "They haven't fought in a month. They've never gone this long before."

"They're happy you're home safe," she replies. She ducks her head, lets her hair obscure her face as she colors in one of the fish.

"Yeah, I'm sure they were all torn up about it," he replies with an eye roll.

Yumi looks up and studies her brother through the gaps in her hair. He's still watching their parents. He's thirteen now and is losing the childish roundness to his features. His hair is longer now, constantly falling into his eyes and their father has given up fighting with him about a haircut. She can see their mother's smile in the tilt of his mouth, their father's drive in the set of his dark eyes.

She reaches out and touches his chin, turns his face so their eyes meet. "You didn't see them," she murmurs. "Even at the clinic, you were in shock and delirious from the cold and injury. They were frightened, Hiroki. We all were."

Hiroki's mouth thins, his chin juts in the way their mother's does when she feels cornered. Yumi remembers their mother's haunted eyes, the pale trembling hands reaching for a cup of tea. She remembers their father's quiet stoicism, the way his hand gripped their mother's shoulder and the resolute tone of voice when he insisted Hiroki wouldn't have run away.

"Were you running?" she asks, searching his eyes.

Hiroki rolls his eyes and jerks his head away. "I wasn't running away, Yumi," he grumbles. He fiddles with his video game controller. "I just wanted to get some peace, you know? That's it."

She glances at where their parents are still chatting outside while their father grills. "Well, appreciate it while it lasts, then," she says finally. Hiroki snorts and resumes his video game and she turns her attention back to the koi fish.

. . … . .

The graduation ceremony is small, not as elaborate as the American ones she's seen in movies. She's exhausted from the week of testing, but also happy to finally be done with school and heading to University. Delmas gives a small speech in the auditorium for graduates and their guests, and then there are hors d'oeuvres set up on the field for families to pick from as they mingle.

Shannon grins when she finds her, red curls loose and shining in the summer sun. Yumi hugs her tightly. "I'm going to miss you," Shannon states.

"I'll miss you too," she replies. "It's not too late to come to Paris," she jokes.

Shannon laughs and shakes her head. "I'm tired of the cold. Marseille is good enough for me," she replies. She loops an arm through Yumi's and leads her toward where their families are chatting. "I saw you speaking with Will."

"Yes," Yumi replies. "We're friends."

Shannon shakes her head. "Sometimes I don't understand you," she says.

"That's okay," Yumi laughs.

Shannon smiles again before she's drawn into conversation with her parents and younger sister. Yumi joins Ulrich and Aelita, accepting the hug from Aelita with a smile. Hiroki looks bored next to her parents and she smiles at him.

"Yumers!" Odd crows. Aelita dodges to the side as Odd throws himself onto Yumi, twirling in a hug. "Our girl's all grown up and off to explore the world!" he adds.

"Odd, stop being embarrassing," she complains. The words fall flat by her laughter and she ignores the looks being sent their way. "Let me go!"

Odd releases her after planting two smacking kisses to each of her cheeks. Ulrich grabs Odd by the back of his shirt, yanking him into place next to him. "At least we got him to wait until after the speech," Jeremie says. Aelita nods.

"Thank you for that," she replies. She straightens her dress, touches her hair self-consciously.

"You look fine, Odd didn't slobber on you too much," Ulrich replies. He sidesteps the punch to the shoulder from Odd and smiles. "Congratulations."

"Thank you, and thank you all for coming."

"Well, it wasn't too long of a commute," Odd replies.

"Of course we'd be here," Aelita chimes in. "We wouldn't miss it for the world!"

Yumi hears her mother laugh and turns to look at her parents. They're still chatting with Shannon's family, but her father has an arm around her mother's shoulders and they're both smiling and proud. As she watches, her mother reaches over and adjusts her father's tie. She looks away, feeling her vision blur and unable to explain why.

Ulrich catches her eye, then her hand. He squeezes lightly. "I told you, you'd be fine," he says, voice quiet amid all the excited chattering.

/

Hiroki flops onto her bed while she's sorting the clothes in her closet. She frowns at him as he disrupts her pile of sweatshirts and they topple to the floor. "Can I help you?" she asks.

"It's not fair," he whines.

She rolls her eyes, stooping to grab the fallen sweatshirts. She drops them on his head as she moves back to the closet. "What are you talking about?"

"You get to leave and I have to stay here in the twilight zone."

She pauses, a pair of jeans in her hands, and looks over to him. He's shaken off the hoodies and is using them as a pillow now. "Come again?"

"Mom and dad, they haven't fought in months and it's weird."

Yumi purses her lips and walks over, sits next to him as she folds her jeans. "You didn't like the fighting," she reminds him.

"Yeah, but that was normal," he protests.

"You're never going to be happy, are you?" she asks, shaking her head. "You should be thrilled that they haven't fought in forever."

Hiroki lifts his head and stares at her through narrowed eyes. "Yeah? Wasn't it you who said that if they didn't fight then they didn't love each other anymore?" he demands. "What happened to that?"

Yumi tugs at a string from one of her hoodies and chews her bottom lip thoughtfully. "I still believe that, you know?" she says. "Just because they aren't yelling doesn't mean they aren't fighting, you know?" Hiroki rolls his eyes and stares at the ground.

"Don't believe me, but it's true. Dad stays in his office sometimes and Mom will purposefully make the food he hates. But they smile more now, and they talk more now, and I think maybe they're balancing that anger and that love better now. And I think we should enjoy it while it lasts."

Hiroki sits up, runs his hands over her hoodies and comforter. "It's still weird," he says.

"Yeah, well, just try not to break another leg because of it, yeah?" she asks.

Hiroki shoves her and she laughs at his offended look. "I didn't do it on purpose," he complains.

She shoves him back, laughing harder when he topples from her bed. "Could have fooled me," she replies. "Now help or get out, I need to pack."