AN: I know I've been a little lax with updates but the lack of new episodes of This is Us, has finally spurned me to try and make some headway on this story. Hopefully, I'll be better with the updates.

Chapter 4

Madison was hungry. Not just hungry, she wanted, no, needed to desperately have celery and peanut butter. Somehow, while trying to fall asleep in her vast, soft luxurious bed, her brain told her that celery and peanut butter was a wonder food that would solve this sudden insatiable hunger.

Which is why, at almost midnight, she was gingerly walking past Kevin's bedroom door down the stairs headed to the kitchen, in the semi darkness of the house. The house that she was still getting used to being in and which still didn't quite feel like home. Madison walked into the kitchen and headed straight for the refrigerator, not even noticing that the lights were on and that the door that led to the backyard deck was open. All that focused her was her hunt for that jar of peanut butter and celery sticks.

"Are you okay?"

Madison screamed. Not yelped, or startled but screamed at the sound of Kevin's voice.

"Oh dear God Kevin Pearson, do not EVER sneak up on me like that again!"

Baffled and more than a little concerned, Kevin quickly walked over to Madison who stood clutching the fridge door with one hand and clutching the jar of peanut butter close to her chest with the other. He had been out on the deck, enjoying the quiet, cool night and reflecting on this momentous marvellous day in his life when he heard Madison rummaging around in the kitchen. He didn't mean to startle her, but her reaction was closer to genuine terror, that had his heart racing at the look on her face.

Kevin walked towards her and gently guided her through the open door to the back deck, so she could sit on the deck lounge.

"Lay back a little. You look ready to collapse." Quickly he walked back inside to grab a bottle of water and Madison used this extra time to close her eyes and breathe in and out deeply trying to re-center herself.

The concern that was etched on Kevin's face as he made his way back out to her was part guilt, part fear and part something not quite clear. Madison took the bottle from him and drank, feeling her racing heart start to calm slightly, whether from the water, the seat or Kevin's surprisingly calming, reassuring presence, she felt the memories that were threatening to overtake her slowly ebb back to the corner of the brain she didn't visit often.

"Thanks, I'm okay. I'll be fine in a minute" she said quietly, as she rested her head back on the lounge, to calm the bit of light-headedness that wanted to overtake her.

Knowing enough, not to push a woman who said she was fine, Kevin still prodded "Madison, do you want to head inside. Maybe lie down properly. To be honest, you look pale and more than a little rattled."

She peered at him from half closed eyes, "I genuinely will be fine in a minute. I don't do well with unexpected surprises is all. I just need a couple of minutes to breathe through it."

" Ok". Kevin sat on the edge of the lounge and watched her intently. With her eyes completely closed now, he stared unreservedly at her face. His eyes traced the contours of her cheeks, the flutter of her eyelashes, the gentle twitch of her lips. He stared at her with a wonder that was new to him, a wonder that this was a woman who was essentially a stranger but who he felt was so much more than that.

Madison calmed her breathing and slowly opened her eyes, to meet Kevin's uncompromising stare, as he continued to study her. Her heart fluttered, giving her a different sort of lightness that ebbed and flowed through her taking her mounting anxiety away, like nothing else has ever had.

Looking at Kevin, gave Madison a moment of pause. She made the decision there and then that "all in" meant that she needed to be all in as well. If she was really going to make this work, she needed to share all her shattered pieces that have been imperfectly glued back together, with the father of her children.

" Kevin..." she started. His eyes looked directly into hers and she stopped.

"Are you okay?" asked before she could continue. "You're looking a little better but you're still a little pale. Lesson learnt.. don't scare you." he joked

His kind eyes and tone, coupled with her weakened resolve and the multitude of pregnancy hormones coursing through her, caused tears to materialise in her eyes. Kevin instantly went pale himself.

Through her emotional state, she made a mental note... crying women, the think that scares Kevin Pearson.

"Hey, hey, what's the matter. Do you need a doctor? What can I do?"

"Peanut Butter"

"Huh?"

"Peanut Butter and Celery and maybe a bottle of water. I need food, and we need to talk."

Utterly baffled and a little intrigued, Kevin got up slowly, still staring at her and turned towards the kitchen.

This is definitely not how he thought this night was heading.