Ichiko slept late that day, and ended up arriving at the hotel just before noon. She knocked on the door, and after a few seconds, her phone rang. She picked up the call. "Yup, that's me. Open the door." Joker did so, and the first thing she registered when entering was a thick smell of smoke. "Did you burn something here?"

"Don't ask," the brunette replied, before turning to Futaba. "What are the total damages?"

"Well, the frying pan's unburned, so both you and Rootkit can do the factory default."

"So, we're not using real names?" the journalist said to Joker. "Fair enough, Leader, how should I call the little gremlin?

"Oracle," she smiled. "And Rootkit is Crow."

"Will I get to meet Rootcrow or are they shy?"

Joker looked to the side. "He's getting changed. And, well, I need you to promise his identity stays secret."

She cracked a smile. "As opposed to literally everything else about this?"

"Fair point." The brunette knocked on one of the bedroom doors. "My friend in the press is here, come say hi." After a pause, the detective walked into the corridor. "Shirt and tie?" Joker noticed.

"If I can't wear it outside, I'll wear it inside." He looked at the journalist and put on a faint smile. "Greetings, I'm Cr-"

"Wait," Ichiko said, dumbfounded, "Crowkit is Goro Fucking Akechi?"

"So, we're using names now?" Futaba piped in.

"Well, yes," Joker said to the journalist. "My dear friend Akechi was trying to take Shido down in his own way," he explained, almost truthfully, "but it proved to be ineffective and only got him in more trouble. So, he joined us."

"Well, I'm adjacent to the group," the detective elaborated. "I'm not a 'real' Phantom Thief."

"We can talk semantics later. Can I see the goods now?"

Futaba gestured at the door to her bedroom. "Follow me."

The group entered it and the geek opened her laptop, logged in, and navigated to /media/alibaba/dirt_on_shido. "Feast your eyes on this," she moved herself out of the way and the journalist started skimming the documents and photos.

"Hm…" she scrolled, "frivolous lawsuits, absurdly cheap services, donations from family members of important people..."

"You've been looking at those things for fifteen seconds," Akechi remarked.

"I've been doing my own investigation," the journalist explained, "and I can tell at a glance that these confirm and prove a lot of hunches and hearsay I had stumbled upon. And, unlike witnesses, the paper trail can't be 'convinced' to forget they ever mentioned anything or found dead after a mental shutdown."

Akechi glanced aside.

"That reminds me," she turned to the group, "once you start digging, you notice how most if not all of those incidents benefitted either Shido or people in his inner circles. Do you know anything about that?"

"You don't have to worry about that happening to you, miss!" Futaba reassured.

"That's an evasive answer, Barbara Gordon."

"Well, we had stumbled upon the guy that was causing the shutdowns at Shido's orders, and we changed his heart so he's not a threat anymore," Joker piped in. "We didn't turn him over to authorities though, 'cause he would've just ended up 'committing suicide' in police custody and blamed for everything."

"And the Thieves are very adamantly against killing people," the detective added. "Or leaving them to die."

Ohya noticed the wording, but didn't comment on that. "Sounds a bit sketchy to me, but I trust the Thieves more than I trust the cops nowadays. And you gave me enough tangible evidence to get the article published."

"Do you think it'll be enough to sink the bastard?" the brunette asked.

"Well, it will put a massive dent in his 'man of the people' image," the journalist replied. "I think it should be enough." She unplugged the SSD and put it in her pocket. "I'll get to writing immediately, should have the article published early next week."

"Wait, what day is it?"

"Saturday, the 10th. I'll get the article done before the elections."

Joker shook her hand. "Thanks, Ichiko."

"Pleasure's all mine," she smiled, then walked towards the door. "If any of you want to give me an interview after this is all over, Head Honcho has my digits. See ya." She left the room, then the flat, and stumbled upon Morgana returning from somewhere. "Ooh, the cat from the bag!" She crouched to pet him, and then went on her merry way, as the cat entered the apartment.

"Sojiro's up to date with our stuff, minus the Haru incident," he announced to the three. "Nothing eventful happened on his side."

"Great," the brunette smiled. "All three of you did a fantastic job. Headpats, tuna and… whatever Akechi likes for everyone. C'mon, ace detective, why ain't you smiling?"

He sighed. "The usual. Yadda yadda my fault to begin with blah blah killed parents and you yadda don't deserve second chances. This is the part where Morgana bites meOW!"

"Pluh twuhst!" Futaba said, biting down hard on his hand.

"It's wonderful to see you get out of your shell." He shook her off. "Wait... it actually is, I'm glad I didn't irreversibly break at least one good thing on this earth." She smiled, and he patted her on the head.

"So, I assume Ohya'll work on publishing what we had gathered." Morgana asked. "What do we do in the meantime?"

"I'm sure some side plot will fall into our la-" Joker was interrupted by a notification on his phone. "Ooh, a message from Chihaya."

"Who?"

"A friend of mine that got the entry card data for us. There's a video..."

The group gathered around the brunette and watched a minute or so of a forty-something guy in a suit verbally tearing down some of his colleagues in the cafe, shot from under a table. He then moved on to scold a barista for some slight that might or might not have actually happened. His accent wasn't Japanese, but they couldn't really pinpoint his nationality.

"Looks like a fun guy," the cat murmured.

Another message arrived: I couldn't note down his name, but someone had given me his business card - it's Krzysztof Truszczynski.

Joker glanced at Morgana. "Do we need to learn how to pronounce that?"

"Writing should be enough."

"I'm gonna call a meeting for today then," Joker opened the PT chat app and typed up a message for everyone. "A nice relaxing trip to Mementos to blow off some steam sounds like something all of us could use right now." His phone buzzed. "Ryuji asks if there'll be pancakes again."

"We have a single non-damaged frying pan, correct? I'll see what I can do."

"By the way," the brunette turned to Futaba, "could you find a household goods store nearby? I'll go out in the afternoon to get some replacements."

The non-Ōta-bound Thieves ended up bumping into Joker and Morgana on the train to Otorii. He was carrying a large plastic bag of assorted kitchen utensils.

"What's with the kitchen-on-the-go?" Ryuji asked.

"A misunderstanding over the meaning of 'pansexual'," the brunette snickered at his own joke. "Seriously though, don't let me and Crow cook new stuff unsupervised ever again."

"And speaking of the devil," Ann piped up, "what happened yesterday? I got Makoto and Haru's versions, and I want to hear yours."

"First of all, I dunno what Haru told you, but she's too hard on herself. Second…" he paused and lowered his head, "it's my fault, in a way. I should've ran the operation past the whole group before doing anything."

"Eh." Makoto shrugged. "You didn't hide it when asked, and you worked on keeping things secure while giving Crow room to breathe. You did alright."

"I know, pot and kettle," Ryuji spoke up, "but maybe we should discuss that after we get off?"

"Fair point." After a pause, Joker looked at Haru, staring at her shoes. "You feeling alright?"

"Yeah," she said. "Better than yesterday, that's for sure. I stared into the abyss, and it didn't stare back at me yet."

"Group hug, everyone!" Joker ordered and until the train reached Otorii, Haru had found herself smothered by five teenagers and a cat. They would've kept hugging her longer, but it would've made leaving the train somewhat cumbersome.

After getting off, they promptly marched to the hotel. When on the staircase, the brunette turned to the group and asked "Do you think I'm too soft on Crow?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, Kunikazu and Wakaba and everything else aside, he did attack all of us in the engine room."

"Eh, like he had a chance," Ryuji waved him off. "That was more of a suicide-by-Thieves attempt."

"And truth be told, it didn't stand out that much when compared to the rest of the Palace." Yusuke added, quietly. "To him, it was a defiant last stand to vanquish us or be vanquished, but to the Phantom Thieves, it was Monday."

With nobody disagreeing with that assessment, Joker went on, "Still, while we all agree that leaving him to die would be wrong, maybe I should be a bit… harsher?"

"Woooow, great idea!" the athlete said, in a tone even the most asocial people would recognize as sarcasm. "We should give him all kinds of shit just for existing! Let's not give him the time of day even when he does something right and beat him up even after he saves everyone's life by running up a slope with a hurt leg!"

Ann glanced at him. "Are you still-"

"YES I AM STILL BITTER ABOUT IT!"

"Will some pancakes make ya feel better?"

The group glanced up and noticed Futaba standing at the top of the stairs.

"How did you-"

"Joker's phone is tracked, remember?" she grinned. "C'mon, Rootkit's waiting with a nice stack."

The group followed the geek into the flat. "Rootkit?" Ann asked.

"Akechi," the brunette explained. "She called him like that once as an insult, and it just kinda stuck."

"Greetings," the detective waved half-heartedly. "I hope you'll enjoy the meal."

The Thieves sat around the table. A plate with a large stack of pancakes was placed in the middle of it, surrounded by a few sweet and savoury filling options. "So," Ryuji promptly rolled up one pancake and shoved it in his mouth, "whoov thuh targuh?"

Morgana dragged a pancake onto a separate plate, and put some tuna on it. "A foreign middle-manager being a jerk to both his coworkers and other people. Joker has his full name and video proof."

The brunette pulled out his phone and replayed the video, showing it to everyone around the table.

"What a pleasant individual," Makoto muttered.

Yusuke glanced "I do not see anyone opposing the ope..." he stopped, his gaze stuck on Akechi. "Everyone, put down the pancakes, now."

"Whuh?" Ryuji swallowed.

The artist got up, marched to the detective and grabbed him by the collar. "What have you put in them?" he asked, firmly yet politely.

"...flour, eggs and milk?" Akechi replied, not scared, just confused. "I didn't measure anything because we lost the measuring cup in a fire this morn-"

"You know what I mean!"

"Yusuke, explain yourself," Joker calmly finished his portion.

The artist turned to the brunette. "If he didn't tamper with the batter, then what was the grin about?"

"I don't know, he was happy that we like his pancakes?" he said, getting another one from the stack. "They're delicious, by the way. There's a fine line between cautiousness and paranoia, and you leaped over it, Yusuke. Say sorry, now."

"I was supervised one way or another ever since you dragged me out of the engine room, Kitagawa," Akechi added. "And you have searched all my belongings at least once. How could I get my hands on any kind of poison without anyone noticing?"

After a pause, Yusuke released Akechi. "You two are right. My apologies." Pause. "I would feel a bit calmer if you joined the meal, though."

The detective rolled his eyes and rolled up a pancake with strawberry jam. Barely stopping himself from pointing out how little this proves, what with his blatant disregard for his life, he ate it. "Yum," he said, in the most blase tone he could muster. "If someone wants to wash it down, there's Flavor Aid in the refrigerator. I'm going to get changed, assuming you want me to assist you in Mementos."

"We do, don't we?" Joker scanned the group. Nobody protested. "Good. Ask Futaba to install you the chat a..." he trailed off. "Wait a second, where's Futaba? And Haru?"

A few minutes earlier, Haru found herself pushed towards Futaba's bedroom - well, gently nudged,the geek wasn't really capable of pushing anything heavier than a Git commit.

"I need to show you something," she muttered, closing the door behind herself. "Something Rootkit was working on earlier today."

She pointed at her desk, at a palm-sized notepad lying on it. Haru picked it up. "Isn't this a violation of Goro's privacy?"

"It's 20XX, privacy doesn't exist anymore," Futaba shrugged. "Read it."

Hesitantly, the princess picked up the note and flipped through the pages. The handwriting was smudged, but had a certain flourish to it. Most of it was crossed out with a neat horizontal line, the rest was thoroughly crossed out with multiple askew ones. Sentence fragments, sometimes single words, on the topic of forgiveness, undeserving, willingness to go the extra mile, and other concepts. One or two dark jokes, crossed out much more thoroughly than everything around them.

"What am I looking at?" Haru asked.

"It looks like a draft for an apology speech," Futaba replied. "He tried talking to Joker off-the-cuff last night and what came out was a proposal." Pause. "I wouldn't have shown it to you, but it's something he wouldn't admit otherwise. He works fine with mockery and insults, but compassion, input or output, will have him throw uncaught exceptions."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"I dunno," she admitted, honest as ever. "I thought I should point out how... irritatingly human Rootkit is."

The door was swung open, startling the girls. "There you are!" Joker announced. "C'mon, why aren't you with the rest of the group?"

"And why are you holding my notepad?" Akechi growled from behind him.

"No reason and no reason," Futaba replied to both. "Are there any pancakes left?"

"Yes, though only bitter-almond-flavoured ones."

The geek raised an eyebrow. "But you didn't use almonds."

"The taste of bitter almonds is associated with cyanide," Haru explained. "It's a poison joke. By the way," she turned to the detective, "could we talk in private?"

"Are you going to try and shoot me again?" he cracked a smile.

"Yup!" Haru 'shot' him with a finger gun. "And turn your corpse into compost!"

The detective giggled. "Come on, do you really want to inflict that on your poor plants?"

Joker found himself slightly weirded out, but hey, if murder fantasies made them get along, he was willing to accept that. "Okay, Akechi, give your phone to Futaba, she'll install the PT chat app." The two left the princess and the detective alone, and the smiles on their faces disappeared the exact moment the door closed.

"She's on your side, for some inexplicable reason," Haru said.

"And I am on hers, I think," Akechi replied. "Well, as much as I can be, considering… well…"

Awkward silence followed, finally broken by the princess: "I didn't apologize for what happened in the basement yesterday."

"There's no need," he said. "Your regret and willingness to make up for the situation are obvious enough without it." More awkward silence. "And, well, appreciated, I suppose. Take it from an actual villain: you're a good person and never dare to think otherwise."

"So, we're... teammates now, huh?"

"I cannot wrap my head around that either."

Yet another awkward pause. "You know those choreographed attacks the Thieves do in pairs?" Haru put her hand behind her head. "I had an idea for such an attack, but… it might hit a bit close to home for you."

Akechi put his hand to his chin. "I'm intrigued."

Elsewhere in Tokyo, a suited-up goon put away his phone. "Finally got ahold of his landlord. He cancelled his rent agreement on the 3rd. Left everything behind."

"Whoa," his colleague reacted with mock shock. "Are you suggesting he ran off? This cannot be! It's almost as we could've figured that out when the guy he claimed he shot turned up alive on every TV in the fucking country!"

"I preferred to err on the side of caution there."

"Why are we even looking for him?" the third goon asked.

"Because with Shido out of the picture, there's a power vacuum to fill. And whoever gets his enforcer will be a natural fit for the top spot."

"You're saying this like it's doable."

"Because it is." He grinned. "We can reasonably assume that he's working with the Phantom Thieves of Hearts now. And getting them to cooperate won't be difficult. We just need to get the one guy they will not be able to dismiss as collateral." He let out a low, sinister chuckle.

"...um, who?" the third goon asked.

The leader rolled his eyes. "The leader's legal guardian, you twit. The barista from that cafe in Yongen."