Santana's focus went from the group behind Brittany to the girl herself as she cleared her throat a little. They stared intensely at each other. Brittany's eyes were filled sadness, compassion, confliction and grief while Santana's just merely reflected the word 'why.' Why did her sister and brother in law have to die and why did Brittany have to come? Why did Santana still feel the same way she did whenever Brittany was around her in high school? Why was it that this was what brought them back to each other?

Santana offered a sad smile before she broke their staring match. Quinn and even Madison looked up at the two girls unsure of what was going to happen. And the former New Directions members seemed like they were all one step away from grabbing some popcorn.

Santana looked over and saw that Brittany's mother's attention was focused on them as well. She turned back to see Brittany still looking at her with all those emotions. And before she knew it, Brittany just simply pulled her in for a hug. Santana relaxed into her ex's embrace and it took everything in her not break down as Brittany whispered 'I'm so sorry' into her ear. Santana nodded before she straightened her posture and broke the hug.

"Thanks for coming." She said looking anywhere but at Brittany. Brittany nodded and looked at Quinn who offered her a sympathetic shrug.

"I uh…" Brittany started wanting to say about a thousand different things to her. "If you need anything, please let me know." She offered knowing that now was not the time to think about their past. She needed to be there for Santana. Brittany grabbed Santana's hand and gave it a light squeeze before she excused herself and went over to her mother who was still talking to Alexis. Her gaze was still focused in Santana's direction.

"You okay?" Quinn asked.

"Fine." Santana said. "I'm going outside for a cigarette if Alexis asks." Quinn nodded and let out a sigh as she watched Santana leave.

"Quinnie, why were Aunty S and Brittany so weird to each other?" The girl asked innocently.

"They just haven't seen each other in a while, honey, and it's kind of weird to see someone here."

"Why haven't they seen each other?"

Quinn cursed under her breath at the curiosity of little children as she tried to come up with a reason.

"Well, your Aunty S went to New York while Brittany went to Los Angeles to work so it would have been really hard for them."

"But they love each other, don't they? That's what my mommy used to say…" Madison looked up at Quinn hopefully before she looked over at the pictures of her parents on top of the caskets.

"They did, sweetie…but I don't know. It's very complicated." Quinn offered hoping it would be enough for the little girl. Luckily, she nodded after hearing this and proceeded to tell Quinn how much she liked her earrings.

Outside, Santana had just finished her first cigarette and was lighting up a second one.

"Those can kill you, you know." Santana was startled by the voice.

"Yeah, and so can cars but people still drive." Santana let out bitterly as she faced Brittany's mother.

"Good point." Karen smiled. "I'd ask you how you are doing but I can imagine you are sick of hearing that."

"Yeah, that's for sure."

"I remember when Robert died…you and Brittany had us all put a dollar into a jar every time someone asked that."

Santana smiled at the memory. Brittany's father had died when they were around 10 years old from cancer. "It worked out really well. I think we made about $60 on that and it helped distract her from everything."

"Yeah, it definitely did. Having you helped her a lot." Karen said simply and Santana opened her mouth before shutting it not knowing what to say. "Look I know things are awkward between the two of you. I don't claim to know everything that's happened but I want you to know that my feelings towards you have never changed. You are still as much my daughter as Brittany."

"Thanks, Karen. I appreciate that." She said as she moved towards the woman and hugged her.

"How long are you staying in Lima?" She asked and Santana laughed.

"To be honest, probably no longer than 4 more days."

"Well, if you decide to stay longer or something, stop by for dinner. Brittany doesn't have to be there if you don't want her to."

"I'll let you know. Thanks for the offer." Santana said feeling weird about this whole conversation.

"Well, I have to run but I'll be there tomorrow at the church. If you need anything, please don't hesitate to ask. Remember that, okay?" Karen said and Santana nodded before they hugged once more.

Santana watched as Karen went towards the parking lot. She took a deep breath before finishing her cigarette and then she returned back inside.

She made her way back to the front of the room and stood next to Alexis who seemed to be eyeing her. Their mother was busy socializing and the two girls just rolled their eyes at the exchanges.

"You okay?" Alexis finally asked as she saw that Santana's gaze never reached the area of the room that was occupied by the New Directions members.

"Yeah. When's the priest getting here?"

"Um, should be any minute now." Santana nodded at the information and less than 5 minutes later they were being introduced to Fr. Richards.

Santana, Alexis and the rest of the family took a seat in the front row as the priest began his speech.

"We are here to mourn the lose of two people. Maria and John's lives were cut tragically short but they certainly made an impact with the time they were given. They leave behind three great children, Karissa, Adam and Madison, who I've had the privilege of getting to know at school functions. It is no doubt in mind that Maria and John have raised great children and with that, their memory will live on….."

He continued on about how they are in a better place with God and all that. Santana tuned out everything at this point because she and religion were something that never really mixed well together. He then mentioned Alexis and Santana and their mother and John's parents despite the fact that they were no longer living. After a few more minutes of talking, the priest offered the floor to the people in the room to recall memories and stories that they've had of the deceased.

Maria and John's friends from high school and college recalled funny and sweet stories of their relationship, Karissa and Adam's friends offered up moments where they were considered the 'cool parents,' and strangers to Santana from the community told of times where the couple volunteered or participated in community events.

Everyone was pretty surprised when Puck stood up. He began to recall the time when Maria convinced him to stay in the Glee club. He had come over to Santana's house one day after school and while Santana was in the shower after a long cheerleading practice, Puck took the time to catch up with Maria. They got to talking and he explained how he really loved being in the club but that it hurt his reputation. She laughed at him and explained that no one would care in 10 years who you were in high school and that she was living proof of that. He took her words to heart and ended up sticking with the club until he graduated.

A couple of more people stood up after Puck and then the priest ended with a prayer. After that was done, the 3-5 viewing had come to an end and people started to clear out of the funeral home. The family along with some close friends decided to head over to the restaurant across the street and eat something before the 7 to 9 wake.

There was maybe about 30 people there and after everyone had finished their meals and were ordering dessert, Santana excused herself for some fresh air. She went up the block a little bit to a small park that she used to practically live in in high school. She sat on a swing and just looked up. She wasn't sure how much time had gone by but her thoughts were soon broken by the sounds of footsteps.

"I figured you'd be here." Brittany approached slowly as she took a seat on one of the swings.

"What are you doing here?"

"I didn't order any dessert so I figured I'd get some air." Brittany offered as she looked ahead of her. "That, and I needed to get away from Rachel." She said with a little laugh and Santana joined in. Both of the girls were very aware of the fact that they were just a few feet away from the place where they had their first kiss back in the 7th grade.

"I see her every so often in New York and I still haven't learned to bring earplugs." She laughed while shaking her head.

"Guess some things never change." Brittany said and with that statement, the atmosphere changed quickly because between the two of them everything had changed. "I was going to say something…" Brittany said and for the first time since in the funeral home, Santana looked directly at her. "When everyone was telling stories before. I was going to but it was hard to choose just one, you know."

"Yeah, I get it."

"I'm sorry."

"For what exactly?" Santana asked and Brittany held her intense stare.

"Everything." She said simply and Santana looked at her for a couple of more moments before turning away.

"I should head back." Santana said and Brittany nodded as they both stood up. They walked in silence back to the restaurant but Brittany grabbed Santana's hand just before they made their way inside.

"What are you doing?" Santana looked at her and Brittany just froze before she pulled her in for another hug.

"I'm just so fucking sorry, Santana, and I want you to know that."

Santana pulled away from her and put as much distance between them as she could.

"Just stop, Brittany. Please…not tonight, probably not any night." She said as she quickly opened the door and headed back inside. Brittany stood there for a few moments before she started to cry. Instead of heading back inside, she just went back to the park. She and Santana had so many memories in that park and the guilt and pain Brittany was feeling became overwhelming as the tears poured down her cheeks. She cried for Maria and John who had been so amazing to her and treated her just like family. She cried for Karissa, Adam and Madison who lost their parents and were just so lost right now. She cried for herself because she was lost too. She made the biggest mistake of her life but letting Santana go and she'd spent the last 5 years trying to work up the courage to tell her that. And lastly, she cried for Santana. The woman who raised her and who she was closest with was dead and to top it all off, Brittany being there wasn't making anything better.

After awhile, Brittany looked at her phone and realized that the 7 o clock wake was starting soon. She took a deep breath and walked back to the funeral home. When she got inside, she sat next to Quinn who asked her what happened. Brittany didn't answer; instead, her focus stayed on Santana who was talking to Madison on the couch in the front of the room.

"I don't like being here." Madison said to Santana who just nodded.

"I know, sweetie."

"Can I stay with you tonight?"

"Well, I'm staying with Noah and Lauren…but I'm sure they wouldn't mind having you there."

"Why didn't you stay with Aunt Alexis? Is it because she talks so much?"

"That's exactly why, kid." Santana said with a smile.

"How come you didn't stay with Brittany?" Madison said looking over at the girl. "Quinnie said that you two haven't seen each other in awhile."

"Yeah, it's been a long time."

"How long?"

"About 5 years." Santana said with a sad smile and her niece's face scrunched up.

"But mommy said you two loved each other…and then she said that she was never wrong."

"Well, she's right. We did love each other…but it's complicated."

"That's what Quinnie said, too."

"Remember all those boys that Karissa brought home to meet your parents?" Santana said and Madison nodded. "Well, it's kind of like that. Now those boys aren't around because Karissa realized that they weren't the ones for her. And some things happened and Brittany and I realized that we weren't for each other. I know you like Brittany and just because she and I aren't together anymore doesn't mean you can't still like her, okay?"

"Okay. But Aunty S, she keeps looking over here."

"She's looking at you, kid, because I'm sure she's missed seeing you just as much as I have."

"Really?"

"Of course." Santana said with a smile as the girl hugged her. She then looked up and noticed some surprising faces entering the funeral home. "Why don't you go over to your sister for a bit, okay?" Madison nodded and then rushed over to her older sister.

Santana walked over to the area right next to where Brittany, Quinn and the rest were sitting. She stopped and hugged the three people that just entered the room.

"What are you guys doing?" She said genuinely taken aback by the presence of her three closest friends from New York.

"San, we're so sorry." James said into her ear as they pulled apart.

"The boss told us and we had to come see you immediately." Jenna said pulling Santana into a hug.

"You guys really didn't have to come." Santana said as she hugged her final friend, Christian.

"We wanted to be here for you…" Jenna said as she placed her hand on Santana's arm. Santana didn't say anything. She just nodded thankfully towards her co-workers and friends as they decided to take a seat in one of the rows.

"When did you guys get here?" She asked.

"Um, we landed a few hours ago…" Christian said. "We have a flight tomorrow afternoon." He added.

"We know the mass is tomorrow….s, we're sorry we can't stay but…." Jenna stated before Santana cut her off.

"No, no. Don't be, guys. Look I'm just thankful you guys are here. It's just what I needed." She said genuinely as the three shook their heads. They went on to talk for a little while. Santana was just kind of telling them who everyone was and letting them know where good places to go and eat were during their short trip to Lima. After a couple of moments, Madison innocently walked up to Santana and her coworkers. She tugged lightly at Santana's arm and this caught her attention.

"Hey, sweetie." She smiled before taking her niece into her lap. "Madison, these are some of my friends from New York. Christian, Jenna and James." She said pointing to the individuals. "This is my niece."

"You are just the cutest thing ever." James said as the other agreed. Madison smiled before she hugged Santana.

"Aunty S, I think Aunt Alexis wants you…I think she told me to go get you but I stopped listening when she started talking…."

"She is definitely your niece, San." Christian teased.

"Ok, I'll go see her…and you are going to have to start listening to her eventually." Santana smiled before getting up. She placed Madison down on the chair. "Are you coming with me or staying here?"

"Staying here." She smiled. Madison always loved hanging with the adults and Santana knew that the girl probably wanted to ask her friends about New York.

"Ok. Excuse me, guys." She said and the three smiled politely at her.

"You're really pretty." Santana heard Madison say to Jenna before focusing her attention on Christian.

On the other side of the room, Brittany's focus had been solely on the group's interaction. Her eyes followed Santana as she got up.

"Is she dating her?" She mumbled under her breath. At this point, she realized that Quinn was calling her and almost definitely heard her say that.

"Brittany?" Quinn said as she nudged her.

"I'm sorry…what were you guys saying?"

"We were just talking about tomorrow. San said it was cool if we sang at the funeral." Noah said and Brittany just nodded.

"Any thoughts on songs, Britt?" Rachel asked with a small tint of a smile.

"Rachel asking for song suggestions?" Brittany teased with raised eyebrows.

"I take offense to that….I have matured since high school. And besides, if anyone should pick the song, it should be you." She added the last part with a shrug. Brittany looked around at everyone to gauge their reactions. They all seemed to agree, except for Kurt and Quinn, which Brittany understood.

"I think Noah should." Brittany said and he immediately shook his head.

"Britt, I'm about to bring up the giant elephant in the room…yeah, you screwed Santana over and broke her heart. And yeah, most of us still are a bit pissed at you but needless to say, you know Santana more than all of us. Even me. So if you have one, just let us know." Noah said as everyone shifted uncomfortably in their seats and Brittany looked down at her hands as her eyes started to brim with tears. She regained her composure and her thoughts when she realized that the attention was on her.

"Um, yeah. I have a song." She said and the group agreed to the choice. It was obvious Rachel was going to sing most of it with the group joining in at the choruses. No one objected to that and egos didn't get in the way like they did in high school.

The rest of night went by pretty quickly. It was just a bit before 9 and most of the people had left. There was about 10 or so (not including family and the Glee clubbers) still in the funeral home.

"Alexis." Santana called over to her sister as they went into an area where no one else really was. "I spoke to Karissa and Adam a little while ago. I think they are going to stay with friends tonight…."

"Santana, what? They can't…."

"I'm asking for your permission about it…I'm telling you. Look, they are kids…they need their friends."

"No, they need their family…."

"They have us, Alexis. But they don't need us down their throats…they don't need constant reminders of their dead parents or people asking if they are okay every two seconds. This is how they want to deal with this…which is a hell of a lot more than either of us can say…"

"Is that why you are at Noah's?"

"My god, Alexis. I told you already why I was there. You have enough people at your house. It is nothing personal but I'm just not used to having that many people near me."

"We all grieve differently, Santana. Excuse me, for being a little taken aback when something like this happens and we aren't together for it."

"Look, like you said…everyone grieves differently. You should know how I am by now….and I know that the two of us have had our differences in the past but I wouldn't use this as an opportunity to bring those times up."

"Ok. You're right…I know how you are. I guess you and I have always been opposites." Santana laughed at this. Talking to Alexis was so foreign to Santana and especially to this Alexis. She just wished it didn't have to happen because of Maria's death.

"I'm gonna take Madison to Noah's with me tonight." Santana added in.

Alexis took a deep breath as if she was about to argue but she then released it. "Okay."

"I just figured you should be with your husband and kids….." Santana added mainly because she figured that in a couple of days, Alexis would have to take in Maria's kids anyway.

"It's fine, San. I do need to be with them and besides, I know Madison adores you. She's missed you so much these last couple of months." She said and Santana looked guilty. "Can I ask you something? And you don't have to answer if you don't want to and we could just get right back in there."

"Yea, sure."

"Are you okay with her being here? I know we've never talked about it….but I know she hurt you."

Santana let out a big sigh before she smiled. "I'm not okay with any of us being here…but I guess since we are, I'd rather her than mom. And we've got both…so I guess everything just sucks."

"Yeah, it does." Alexis simply said as the two went back into the main area. By this point, almost no one was remained. Their mother had disappeared somewhere. Adam's best friend and Karissa's best friend were still there. Santana's work friends and the glee clubbers and a few of Alexis's closest were there as well.

James, Jenna and Christian soon said their goodbyes. Santana genuinely thanked them for showing up and they apologized again for not being able to make the funeral. She rolled her eyes before she gave them some directions on how to get to their hotel. A couple of minutes later, Adam and Karissa approached Santana to let her know that they were heading out. Santana smiled at them before hugging each. She was genuinely so happy that they had friends like the two that they were staying with. She knew with a family like theirs friends were all they truly had. As she thought that, Santana's focus went to her old friends. The ones she abandoned and the ones who stayed every moment of each of the two wakes. She sighed before heading over to them.

"Thanks guys for coming." She said awkwardly. Everyone's attention went to her but she felt Brittany's gaze the most.

"Of course, San." Noah said before he got up and hugged her. Lauren followed next.

"We've chosen a song, San…." Rachel said. "If it's okay, we'd like to keep it a secret though."

"Yeah, that's fine. I appreciate the offer. So thanks Kurt for suggesting it. Um, I guess you all should probably come to the church early or something so that they can tell you when to go up during the mass." She said and everyone nodded. After that, everyone hugged Santana goodbye. Noah and Lauren waited around since she was going with them. Brittany was the last to approach Santana.

"Um…" She said clearing her throat. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow…" She said really awkwardly and Santana just nodded. Noah and Lauren looked on. "I uh, hope you like the song…I mean Rachel's singing most of it so I'm sure you'll love that." She said sarcastically with a smirk and it died down when she read Santana's face.

"I'm sure it'll be good…."

"Yea. Well, um…goodnight." She said in a rush before she leaned in to hug Santana. "If you need anything, please let me know." She whispered in her year. It was different from when she had said it before and Santana noticed it. After they parted, Brittany said a quick goodbye to Noah and Lauren before exiting the home.

"Well, that was awkward." Santana said breaking the tension a bit. Noah nodded and Lauren's face was as if she was saying 'duh.' "Oh, I hope you don't mind but can Madison stay with me tonight?"

"Yeah, of course." Noah said as their focus went to the little girl on the couch in the front. Santana thanked them before going to get her. She then went over to Alexis and arranged some plans for the following morning.

Madison fell asleep in her arms as they made their way to Noah's car. And drove away in a somewhat comfortable silence given everything that was going on.

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I am officially the worst writer ever. I've let all my stories go waaaay too long without updates. I apologize and I hope that you all enjoy this update. I promise that next chapter of this one is going to be verrrrry good ;]

Ps: how are you all holding up during the Glee hiatus? Haha it's torture.