" Damn and Blast! " The Leprechaun slid to a stop in front of the tree that connected his world to the human world. He had once again gotten his gold and defeated the humans who had dared to take it from him.

Unfortunately this time he had been targeted by a hunter who had been both cunning and crafty. The damn woman had hunted him for years. He couldn't be killed he was a fae and therefore eternal as long as the world of the fae still existed. That didn't mean he couldn't be hurt or banished however. Especially now that his escape was cut off.

In front of the door leading to his realm was a crown of clovers neatly laid out in a patch that blocked his door.

" I hate clovers! " He snarled. " Curse that crafty little bitch! Where the hell did she get so many 4 leaf clovers? Curse her to hell! When I get my hands on her..."

" Naughty naughty leprechauns shouldn't swear in front of the lady. Didn't your mum teach you manners lad?"

" Grrrrr. " The leprechaun stomped and turned to face her. He let out a loud breath of anger. She was pointing a cross bow at him and he could see the arrow was wrought iron. To his eyes there was a light glow to it which it meant it was also blessed probably coated in holy water. Where the hell did this woman get these weapons? Was there a hunting store around he wasn't aware of that sold weapons specifically to kill leprechauns? He hadn't been that bad had he?

He held up his hands. " Now lass be reasonable yea? I gots me gold, jist let me begone home. I promise I'll be a good little gnome!"

" You killed my father."

He snorted " Lass yer father stole me gold and ran off with a floosy leavin' ye and yer mum behind how is that my fault? Admit it! Ye wanted him dead. Never said out loud but it was in yer head!"

" You've killed innocent people." Her tone hadn't changed she seemed to be repeating his sins by rote but she was talking and if she was talking he had time to plan to get away.

" All stole me gold lass even in the bible the Lord himself has said greed is one of the seven sins and if you commit it it's hell you'll be in!"

" People who merely got in the way..."

" Yer hands be red too lass...ye think I havn't seen ye all these years heard of all yer deeds...what was it ye say? Some got in the way." He cackled.

The eyes above the hood she wore over her face were incredibly green and they darkened with some unknown emotion. It suddenly dawned on him he hadn't seen her up close and never without the hood and cover over her face. Not since she was a wee lass chasing fairies. She'd caught one too and it had bitten her for her trouble. He had been in hiding and had been amused at the little red haired girl trying to stomp the fairy to death.

" Lass why do ye hide yer face? Are you an ugly wench? If it's that bad maybe I can help ye I'm a connoisseur of beauty! One wish and ye can take to the catwalks I promise you'll be a real cutie!"

" I'm allergic to clovers, pixie dust, and bull shit." She raised the crossbow higher and aimed it for his heart. He grimaced. Banishment it would be with a buttload of pain until he was able to regenerate. He was trapped between the iron and the clover. He closed his eyes as he heard the trigger click.

Nothing. The trigger clicked again. He opened one eye.

" Shit!" the green eyed killer shook her cross bow frustrated and pulled the trigger again making him tense.

" God damnit! Fuck! Cocksucker!"

The Leprechaun found his mouth dropping open slightly. She had taken him to task for bad language? The lass could make a seaman blush.

He grinned evilly stepping forward. " Problems lass? Need a hand? Looks like ye've got yerself in a little jam!"

She shoved the crossbow towards him and he jumped back almost falling into the clover to avoid the iron tip that could still burn him. For a moment they faced off.

Then the woman sighed and too his shock tossed the cross bow to the ground. He was still cautious however. She motioned him to move and he did so. Using her foot she brushed the clover away from his door. She than sat down on a large root rubbing her forehead. She fished into her robe and pulled out a smoke and lit up with a sigh.

Now was a his chance to kill her. Except...he didn't really want to kill her. She had been fun. She had been cunning. He actually thought he might almost miss her trying to destroy him. This was too interesting a development to miss.

To his surprise she patted the root near her.

" Have a seat a moment lad."

He sat down eyeing her ready for any tricks she might try to pull. She began to dig into the oversized robe like garment she wore. As he watched stunned she began pulling out various objects dropping them carelessly at their feet. Two iron knives. An oakwood stake. A bottle of silver shavings. A bottle of iron shavings, blessed oil, blessed holy water, more clovers, a bottle of teeth which could be used to catch tooth fairies if they started munching on the bones of children again. and several other items he found himself wondering how she had ever been able to move so nimbly. The last thing she pulled out was a bottle of Irish Whiskey. He perked up.

She tried to open it. With a grunt she switched hands and tried to open it again.

" God damn bottle ca..." She blinked at the claw hand that was being held out to her. She shrugged and handed it to him.

He popped the cap off and took a swig.

" Ahhhhh now that's some fine Irish whiskey lass well aged too."

He handed it back to her and she unwrapped the hood she wore like a burka. First light red strawberry blonde hair appeared. It was full of highlights as the red instead of doing anything as boring as going gray turned gold as she got older. A tuck loosed it from it's bun and it fell down almost to her waist in a red and gold wave. He hadn't seen such hair since he had visited Ireland...which had been about 4 or 500 years ago. He mentally made a note to himself to visit his homeland.

Then she unwrapped her face and he was pleasantly surprised to see she was a bit of a bonny lass not quite as old as he had thought. She tipped back the bottle and took a long pull sighing with pleasure. She offered it to him again.

" How old now are ye lass? My recollection put ye in your 50's."

She looked right at him. " I'm 44 thank you. Way younger than you."

" That you be lass, that you be." He took the bottle still looking at her. She had a large nose which gave her character, soft full lips. Her eyes were a brilliant green ringed with dark lashes. He was getting an idea. A few actually he chortled to himself.

She took one more drink and then moved so she was kneeling in front of him.

" Ok. Go ahead."

" Don't mind if I do lass." He leaned forward and kissed her. When he sat back grinning he saw she looked irritated and she wiped the drool off her mouth with her sleeve.

" No games. Kill me."

" What?!" He was so startled he almost dropped the whiskey. " Never say ye've hunted me down just so ye could turn around and have me kill ye now!"

She shrugged " My life is wasted. No kin. No husband nor lover have I in many a years, no children to suckle and a life that has restricted me to mediocrity."

He suddenly looked sly " Death ye be looking for lass why is that I wonder? Let me see what I can see before I put ye six feet under!"

Abruptly he held his clawed hand in front of her. She gasped as a cold chill went through her body.

" Ahhh." He clunked sympathetically still grinning at her " Ill you are and a long time it takes too a killer like cancer what a terrible death for you."

He stood up and walked around her almost seeming to talk to himself now. He absently handed her the whiskey she she could have another drink.

" No more hunting no more games how sad, very sad but what did ye plan to do after ye banished me again lass? "

" I was going to kill myself. "

He again found himself shocked. Kill herself? Where did humans get these ideas their lives were already shorter then the lives of may flies to them.

" So why come to me lass?"

" Suicides go to hell. If I die by your hand I die in battle."

" Off to Valhalla ye go...Lord bless ye lass." He cackled again and even did a little dance around her so pleased he was with this opportunity.

He paused in front of her. " Tell me lass, tell me...am I the ugliest of all ye've seen? "

She looked at him. Actually looked at him then shook her head. " No I shop at Walmart. You'd be amazed at how good you look compared to some of the specimens that shop there."

He chuckled and rubbed his hands together. " I think ye're a bonny lass still even though a bit long in the tooth ye be. Be my bride, the mother of my children and I can show the wonders of the fae land. Wonders I know ye've always wanted to see."

" Ha you mean to enslave me and submit me to pain and turn me into a demon from hell like you." She said leaning away from him.

He laughed at her " Pain?"

Suddenly he reached out and grabbed her arm jerking her loose sleeve up. She stared down at her arm going pale as all the scars were revealed.

Still chortling he turned her arm around to peer at her forearm. There were hundreds of tiny lines that made up a Celtic symbol. She had been working on her flesh for years.

" Pain is yer pleasure I admit to not watching ye closely lately lass but I remember a child who learned to love pain. A naughty girl you were to get the spanking of yer kin over and over again but I bet ye've become even naughtier as a woman grown revealing in sin."

Her eyes were shiny with anger.

"Devilish lass? That I am but I sold me soul for me gold you have no excuse the innocents that fell at your hand when you could have turned them over to the law of the land."

She swallowed hard dropping her gaze.

He took some pity on her and placed a clawed finger under her chin. " Be my bride lass, I'll give you a family think of all the times your soul cried out to the night to take you to places no mortals get to go, places I can take you. Sights you will cry to see and I'll be faithful and at your side I'll even squish those biting fairies if they bother me bride."

He stepped back and struck a pose holding a hand out to her. " I'll not force you like I could...what do you choose lass. A magical life with me...or death and an unknown boring afterlife? "

She looked at him for a moment. " My name is Desire."

He got on one knee " Desire oh indeed! Desire will you marry me? "

She looked up at the stars and then looked at the tree which was a way across the veil to the land of the fae.

She took his hand. " Yes."

He laughed " With this ring...I thee wed." A gold collar with a heart shaped lock covered in Celtic symbols appeared around her neck.

She touched it and then smiled widely. To her amusement it reminded her of dog collars that she had sometimes been forced to wear for the perversion of men who had turned out to be weak willed. Certainly one would never have blessed her with gold.

" I have one more wedding gift for you my bride. A leprechaun's home is full of surprise but I admit it lacks a refined touch and is in need of a bride."

He rolled his hands together and produced a blue crystal. He gently placed it in her hands.

"Since I needs do some changes to yer womb in order to bear me young it's only fair I give ye the power to make changes to me home. Make it comfy, make it homely, wish on this stone to make it your own and use it as a key. Speak home and wherever ye be back home is where you'll always find me!"

He cackled again and with a wave of his hand they disappeared.