Raising Winchesters

Chapter 3

Author's note: I just wanted to take a minute to tell you that this first part is a little shift in the current timeline of the story. I was watching Home (Season 1, episode 9) and remembered that John had gone to see Missouri Moseley in the first few days following the fire. I thought I'd play around with that a little bit. I love Missouri.

Nobody knew it, but John had visited a psychic in the days following the fire and Mary's death. He wasn't one to believe in such things, but those first few days raised a desperation and a thirst to know what had happened so fierce that he was willing to do anything to appease it.

Missouri Moseley was a mystery, just like he expected. What he didn't expect, though, was how she made him feel. He hadn't ever met anyone quite like her and although he wouldn't ever admit it, she scared him. She knew things about him that no one else knew. She looked at him in a way that made it feel as if his soul had been flayed open, bared for everyone to see how he had failed as a husband and father. He felt like everything he had ever done in his pathetic life had been laid out in front of her, waiting for her to judge, waiting for her to see him like he saw himself. A loser. A failure.

Yet he also felt safe with her. He would never be able to explain this dichotomy to anyone, but to have someone see him in such a way was somehow comforting. To see his failures and yet still deem him worthy of kindness and compassion. Especially since she hadn't kicked him out of her house straightaway. If he was really as awful as he thought he was, wouldn't she have just slammed the door in his face before he took a single step into her house?

Sitting down in her parlor, he waited patiently as she poured them both some tea. He wanted to refuse the offer, hoping to hold onto his 'I'm a tough marine' persona, but he could tell by the look on her face that she wouldn't take no for an answer. Eventually, she returned, carrying a tray that was loaded with tea and scones.

John immediately stood up and tried to take the tray from her, but Missouri swatted him away with one arm. "John Winchester! I don't need your help, boy. I've been serving tea to my guests since before you had your first zit."

John sat down, trying to hide the blush that spread across his face and wondering how Missouri Moseley could make him feel like such a child. He watched as the woman poured the tea into two cups and offered him the sugar and honey that was on the tray. He reached out hesitantly and took the sugar from her, thinking that if he was going to have to drink tea, it might as well be sweetened.

Missouri settled into her chair and sipped her tea, her eyes never leaving the man sitting in front of her. John fidgeted in his seat, reminding himself of his own son. Of course, he was thinking of Dean before the fire, not the unnaturally somber boy that only responded to Sam's cries and needs. The post-tragedy Dean was nearly a ghost of the vibrant child he had been.

"I'm so sorry for your loss, John," Missouri said sadly. "I can see how much she meant to you."

John didn't really know how to answer that, so he said nothing.

"I know you think I can help you find answers, John, but I'm not sure I can."

"What do you mean?" he asked. "Why can't you help me?"

"John, there are some things in this world that should just be left alone. Your wife's passing was awful, but you have two little boys that need you. You should focus on that, John. Focus on your boys."

"I need to know what happened," John answered firmly. "I can't go on without knowing what happened, Missouri."

Missouri's gaze never left his face and he could tell that she was fighting some internal battle. But, he didn't care. He had to know what happened that night in Sam's nursery. He had to know if what he thought he saw was real, or if he was just going crazy.

Missouri put her tea down and stood up. John watched as she walked over to the window, looking out to the street beyond. She stood there for several minutes and John found his frustration growing. He was just about to say something when she turned back to face him.

"There are things out there that you don't know about. Things that normal people don't know."

"What kind of things?"

"Evil things, John. Things that can hurt you and your boys. It's better if you just leave it all alone."

John stood up, too, and started pacing in the small room. "I knew it!" he said angrily. "I knew it was more than just a fire. I didn't want to believe it. I thought maybe the smoke and the flames made me see things, but I saw her, Missouri. She was on the ceiling and she was screaming for me. I couldn't help her and I just sat there and watched as she burst into flames. What the hell did that? What did I see?"

"I don't know for sure, John. I can feel the evil surrounding you, but I need to go to the house before I can know for sure."

John looked up at her in surprise. "You want me to take you to the house?"

"If you want me to help you, yes," she answered. "I need to feel the energy in that house."

The last thing John wanted to do was to go back to that house, but he knew he had no choice. He needed answers.

John was sitting in the Impala, his eyes planted firmly on his sleeping boys, willing them to stay asleep for a little longer, when Missouri pulled up behind him. He watched as she got out of her car and looked intensely up at the house. Eventually, she stepped towards the car, so John opened the door and climbed out. With one last look at Dean and Sam, he started moving towards the house.

"John, wait," Missouri said, stopping him with a gentle grip on his arm. "I don't think you should go in there."

"What? Why not?"

"There's no need, John. And your emotions might cloud the energy of the place. The waters are going to be murky enough without that happening."

"So, what? I'm supposed to just stay out here while you go in there and face it alone?"

"I can handle myself," Missouri said with a smile. "And you have your boys to look out for."

John's eyes darted back to the Impala, making sure that the boys were still asleep. "I don't think you should go in there alone."

"Well, I'm not going in there, if you do," Missouri answered.

John stared at her for several seconds before turning back to the car. There was a part of him that absolutely did not want to go back inside that house, but there was another part of him that felt like he was betraying his wife. It didn't make any sense, but that's how he felt.

Climbing back into the Impala, he watched as Missouri made her way up the walkway. She had just walked through the door when he heard sniffling coming from the back seat. Turning around, he saw that Dean was wide awake and was looking towards the house with tears streaming down his face. Sam was still asleep, thankfully.

"Hey, Dean," he said gently. "Why don't you come on up here with me?" He wasn't surprised when Dean stayed where he was, knowing that he wasn't about to leave his baby brother in the backseat while he sat up front.

"Are you hungry, sport?" he asked. "I think I still have some jerky left."

Dean usually loved jerky, but he hadn't been eating hardly anything since the fire. John wasn't surprised when he ignored the offer of a snack. They both sat in the car, John doing whatever he could to not look at the house, while Dean never took his eyes off the familiar place that was the only home he had ever known.

John studied Missouri's face as she finally stepped out of the house. She had been in there for almost two hours and John was going crazy, stuck inside the car with a cranky Sam and a withdrawn Dean. Looking back at his boys, he quickly instructed Dean to stay in the car and to watch his brother before opening the door and getting out.

"Well?" he asked before she even made it to the sidewalk. He didn't miss the look she threw into the back seat of the Impala.

Turning back to John, Missouri clasped her hands together as if in prayer. "There's a darkness in that house, John. A real darkness."

"We already discussed this, Missouri. What is it?" he asked in frustration.

"Don't you use that tone of voice with me, boy," she growled back.

John held his hands up in front of him, hoping to somewhat placate the woman. "Listen, I need to know all I can about this thing. I need to know what killed my wife."

"No, what you need to do is take care of those babies," Missouri said as she pointed back to Sam and Dean. "John, trust me when I say that no good can come from you going after this thing. No good at all."

"So, you're telling me that I should just forget that something evil killed my wife? That I should just back down and allow this evil….whatever it is…to just get away with it? What if it hurts someone else? What if someone else's wife gets murdered? How can I live with myself if that happens?"

Missouri looked sadly at the man standing in front of her. She knew that what she was about to say was going to change his life forever. And the lives of the two adorable boys in the car. But, did she have a choice? Was it her right to keep something so important from the man? After an intense internal argument with herself, she did the only thing she could. She told him the truth.

"I think it's a demon," she said simply, watching closely for John's reaction. The man looked like he was in shock, but he quickly pulled himself together.

"A demon…."

"Yes. I don't know what it wanted from your family, John, but I can assure you that it wasn't anything good. The energy I feel in that house is more evil than anything I've ever encountered.

John stared at her closely, ignoring the sudden baby cries that were coming from the Impala.

"How do I kill it?" he asked.

"John…."

"Missouri, how do I kill a demon?"

"I know someone that can help you," she finally answered after a long pause. "I'll make a call and put them on the trail of whatever demon did this to your family, okay? They'll handle it."

"I don't want someone else to handle it," John growled. "That thing killed my wife. Burned down my house. Almost killed my children. It's my responsibility."

By this time, the cries coming from the car were so loud that Missouri couldn't ignore it anymore. "John, look at you. You're already so caught up in this that you don't even realize that Sam is crying hysterically. You don't even realize that Dean is trying to calm the baby down, but it's not working. Your boys need you."

John looked over at the car, his eyes resting on the angry face of his youngest son and the desperate face of his oldest. He knew he needed to take care of his boys, but he couldn't put aside the desperate need to find whatever killed his wife. He had to.

Missouri could tell that the stubborn man wasn't going to back down. "I'll make some phone calls, okay? I'll put you in touch with someone who can help you in this fight. But for now, I want you to take those boys back to wherever it is you're staying and take care of them. Cuddle with Sam. Make sure Dean eats. Take care of your boys, John. I'll be in touch."

John didn't want to let her go without having a better plan, but he knew he didn't have a choice. Stepping over to the trunk of the car, he pulled out the diaper bag and fished out a bottle for Sam. Seconds later, he was driving back to Mike and Kate's house, watching in the rearview mirror as Dean fed his little brother the best he could.

Now it was almost five months later and John still hadn't heard from Missouri Moseley or anyone else regarding the demon that had killed his wife. He had been on the road with his boys for almost three months and his desperation was growing with each passing mile.

They drove all day long, stopping for short breaks so Dean could use the bathroom or so they could get some food. By the time they stopped for the night, both boys were usually sound asleep in the back seat of the car. John knew that this was no way for them to live, but he didn't know what else to do. He had no one to turn to. Well, no one that didn't want to take his boys away from him, that is. He knew the boys deserved a more stable environment- one that didn't consist of diner food and dirty gas station toilets. He knew that they should be outside more, soaking up the sun rays and enjoying the fresh air, instead of being cooped up inside the Impala for hours and hours, breathing in the recycled air from the vents, listening to the sounds of Metallica and AC/DC.

The motels they stayed in were flea bag motels, infested with fleas and bedbugs and who knew what else. He always made sure to lay down one of their own blankets on the bed before tucking the boys in for the night, but he wasn't sure why. One measly little blanket wasn't going to save them from the filth and disgust.

The worst part was that his cash flow was running critically low and he knew he needed to do something about it. The Impala sucked up way to much gas and staying in motels every night, even if they were the cheapest ones around, had decimated his funds. Which led him directly into another conundrum- How was he going to make any money when he had two small kids to watch over?

After the fiasco of his last trip to the store when he thought both boys were asleep, John was reluctant to do that again. Especially when it was likely that he would be gone longer that just half an hour. As desperate as he was, he did something that any sane parent would balk at- he paid one of the motel maids to babysit his boys.

He knew Mary would have killed him for doing something so reckless if she knew what he had done, but he was desperate. He needed to make some money so they could keep moving. And the young girl seemed nice enough. He hated the way Dean looked at him when he told him that he needed to leave, but he really didn't have a choice. After a few words to the young girl and a few words to Dean, John closed the door behind him and headed into town.

He was only gone for a few hours and in that time he had managed to make a little bit of money hustling pool. Of course, he almost lost the money when he decided to join a back room poker game, but for once in his life, luck was on his side. Just before he was about to lose all of his money, the door opened and several police officers stormed into the room. Somehow, John was able to grab his money and make his way out a side door before the cops could stop him.

Knowing that he shouldn't push his luck any more for the night, John returned to the motel room, happy to see that both Dean and Sam were still asleep. The young girl was also sleeping on the small sofa. John gently woke her up and paid her what he owed her before ushering her out the door with a quick thank you. Taking a few minutes to check on the boys, John noticed the evidence of dried tears on Dean's face. He gently placed a kiss on the top of both of their heads and then made his way over to the second bed. He was asleep before his head hit the pillow.

Three days later, his phone rang and he was surprised to see that it was Missouri Moseley. Pulling over to the side of the road, he promptly answered it.

"Missouri?"

"Hello, John," she said. "How are you doing?"

"What took you so long, Missouri? I've been waiting to hear from you for months."

"John Winchester! I asked you a question. How are you? And how are your boys?"

"We're fine," John growled, knowing that she wouldn't stop until he answered her.

"Are you sure? Is Dean eating better? Has he started talking again?"

"How did you know he wasn't talking?" John asked.

"Do you really need to ask that?" Missouri laughed. "I'm a psychic, John. Remember?"

John didn't return the laugh. "Do you have anything for me?" he asked instead.

Missouri let out a big sigh before answering. "I do. A friend of mine has agreed to help you, John. He's been a hunter for a long time and he's willing to train you."

"A hunter?"

"Yes, that's what they call themselves. There aren't a lot of them around, but they're all good at what they do."

"When can I meet him?"

"Where are you right now, John?"

John struggled for a second to remember where they were. "I think we're close to Salt Lake City,' he finally said.

"Well, you've got a bit of a drive ahead of you. Pastor Jim lives in Blue Earth, Minnesota. I'd say a little over a thousand miles."

"Tell him I'll be there by morning," John said as he turned the Impala around and headed in the opposite direction.

"John, that's almost a nineteen hour drive and it's already five o'clock in the afternoon. You'll never make it there by morning."

"Tell him I'll be there by morning. And text me his address."

Missouri started to argue, but John ended the call before she could.

Author's note: I know these beginning chapters haven't had a lot of Sam and Dean in them, but it's coming. I promise. And I hope you all aren't confused by the shift in the timeline. I tried to make it as clear as I could.

Thanks so much for reading. I'd love to hear your thoughts.