Raising Winchesters

Chapter 10

Life with Bobby was nearly perfect, in Dean's opinion. They had been there for almost a month already and both Sam and Dean loved almost everything about it. And for the first time in a long time, they were allowed to just be kids. Especially Dean.

John occasionally left to go out on a hunt, usually meeting up with other hunters, but Sam and Dean were always looked after by Bobby. When their dad left, he usually left strict orders for his boys, entrusting Bobby to enforce them. And for the most part, the man did. He made sure the boys went to bed at their assigned bedtimes. He made sure they took their baths and cleaned up after themselves. He made sure they didn't get too rowdy. And he made sure that Dean did whatever training his father required him to do.

But, Bobby also made sure that they boys got the chance to play and do things that normal little boys did. He made sure that Dean knew that he was there to watch Sammy, too. That it wasn't just Dean's responsibility to keep an eye on the youngest Winchester.

Bobby had noticed over the first few weeks how closely Dean paid attention to his little brother. He noticed how Sam's needs came before anything else, in Dean's eyes. What Dean needed or wanted always played second fiddle to Sam's needs and wants. And while Bobby could appreciate how much Dean loved Sam, he still didn't think it fair to the boy. In his opinion, Dean deserved to be able to act like the kid he was. He deserved to be selfish every once in a while, too.

Dean, of course, didn't quite see it all in the same light as Bobby. For so long, it had been driven into his head that he was responsible for his brother and that the most important thing was to watch out for Sammy. And Dean took his responsibility very seriously. To him, nothing was more important than his little brother.

Eventually, Bobby was able to persuade the boy that he wasn't shirking his responsibility to his brother when he did something for himself. It took a lot of convincing, but Dean finally stepped back a little and let Bobby be the surrogate parent for a while. And watching Dean act like the child he was never ceased to put a smile on Bobby's face.

And for the first time in a long time, Bobby found himself decorating his house for Christmas. There hadn't been a Christmas tree in the Singer house since the year his wife died and Bobby wasn't really sure how he felt about it. Eventually, though, after seeing how excited the boys were, his own excitement grew, too.

He also felt immensely sad, though, when he realized that Sam had no memory at all of ever decorating a Christmas tree. He was sure that Dean's memories weren't that tangible, either, but he at least had a few. The Christmases since Mary had died were spent in dirty motel rooms and Bobby was pretty sure that John hadn't made any effort at all to celebrate it. In fact, the man probably went out of his way to ignore it as much as possible.

With that being said, it didn't take long at all for Dean's enthusiasm for decorating the tree to rub off on both Bobby and Sam. Bobby strung the lights on the tree and then sat back and watched as Dean showed his little brother how to place the ornaments. After all the ornaments were on the tree, Dean grabbed the tinsel and showed Sam how to place the strands strategically on each branch. Bobby couldn't keep from laughing when they were done and Sam had more tinsel on him than the tree, thanks to Dean. In fact, there was tinsel all over the small room.

Once the tree was finished, the boys sat back on the couch and stared at it, mesmerized by the tinsel twinkling in the flashing lights. Dean had a strange look on his face and was quiet for several minutes before he finally spoke.

"Uncle Bobby, sir? Where's the angel that goes on top?" he asked.

Bobby smiled at the sound of Dean calling him Uncle Bobby. A few weeks before, Sam had fallen and hurt his arm, prompting Bobby to take him to the local emergency room. As he was checking them in, he identified himself as Sam's uncle and from that point on, the boy had taken to calling him Uncle Bobby. Dean didn't pick up the name as easily, though, and it wasn't until he woke up from a particularly scary nightmare that the name left his lips for the first time. And Bobby had to admit that he really liked it. It just seemed right.

Dean was using it more and more often, too, but he still had the tendency to add the "sir" onto the end of it.

"Sorry, Dean," he finally answered. "I don't have an angel. We always used a star on our tree, not an angel." He was surprised at the look of panic that filled Dean's face.

"It can't be a star, Uncle Bobby. It has to be an angel!"

"I'm sorry, Dean. All I have is a star."

Dean suddenly stood up and ran from the room, leaving behind a shocked uncle and little brother. Bobby looked down at Sam, who looked upset and about ready to cry, before following Dean. "Stay here, Sam, okay?" he said as he turned to leave. "I'll be right back."

Surprisingly, Sam did as he was told. Bobby followed the sounds of Dean's footsteps, not surprised to find that the boy was heading outside. A few weeks before, Dean had discovered a spot under the porch that was a perfect hiding place and Bobby had found him there a number of times, usually when he was upset about something.

Bobby grabbed Dean's coat before heading out the front door. Seconds later, he was down the stairs and heading off to the side where the small crawl space was. Getting down on his hands and knees, he peered into the tight space, immediately seeing Dean's small, shivering form. He could hear sniffling coming from the boy and his heart ached at the sound.

"Hey, kid….. What's going on?"

"Nothing," Dean answered so quietly that Bobby wasn't sure he had heard him correctly.

Sitting back on his legs, Bobby pushed Dean's coat through the small opening. "Here, put this on," he said. "It's freezing out here."

Dean took the coat from him and quickly put it on, not saying anything. Bobby couldn't stop the surge or impatience and irritation that shot through him. He knew it was mostly because his knees were aching and he was freezing, but he was also just plain annoyed at John Winchester, who was totally to blame for Dean's usual reluctance to share his feelings. Dean had learned early on to internalize his feelings.

"Listen, kid…. It's cold out here and I really need some coffee. What do you say we head back inside the house and talk about this?"

Dean didn't budge and Bobby felt a sudden desire to reach in and yank the boy out. But, he didn't. Instead, he used his secret weapon….. the one thing that always worked to get Dean to do something. "Dean, if we don't get back inside soon, Sam's going to come out to see what's going on. And it's too cold out here for that, isn't it?"

Dean, who was shivering violently, gave Bobby a look that told him he wasn't playing fair, but he moved to climb out from under the porch anyway. Bobby scooted back and then slowly pulled himself to his feet. Once he was standing up, he reached forward and pulled Dean into his side. "Let's go, boy," he said, pulling Dean gently towards the steps. Dean didn't struggle.

Ten minutes later, the three of them were sitting around the table. Sam and Dean were sipping on cups of hot chocolate and Bobby was drinking his coffee, which happened to be spiked with a shot of whiskey. Dean still wasn't saying much and Bobby could tell that he was still upset. But, he didn't push the boy to talk. In the short time he had known Dean, he had learned that the boy would eventually talk. And he was willing to wait as long as he had to.

To Bobby's surprise, Dean's willingness to talk happened sooner than expected. Sam and Dean had spent the evening in front of the Christmas tree, playing games and watching television. Bobby noticed Dean frequently looking up at the top of the tree with a strange look on his face, but didn't pry into what the boy was thinking. Eventually, it was time for baths and bed, so Dean grabbed Sam by the hand and led him upstairs.

After both boys had taken a bath, Bobby stepped into their room to say goodnight. He was surprised to see that Sam was already asleep, curled into his brother's side comfortably. Bobby stepped over to Dean's side of the bed and sat down on the edge. Dean scooted over a little- trying not to wake Sam up in the process- to make more room for Bobby.

"He fell asleep pretty fast," Bobby commented with a nod towards Sam.

"He's just a kid," Dean answered. "He gets tired fast."

Bobby grinned at Dean's words. "You boys did a real nice job on the tree, kid. It looks great."

Dean smiled sheepishly. "Sorry for getting the tinsel everywhere."

"It's okay. You and Sam cleaned it all up, right?" Dean, who was playing with a loose thread on the comforter, didn't answer. "Well, why don't you try to get some sleep, kid? Sam will be up and running around again soon enough."

"Yes, sir."

Bobby nudged Dean's leg and stood up. "Okay, then…. Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Uncle Bobby."

Bobby had almost made it to the door when Dean's voiced stopped him. "We used to have an angel on our tree. I remember. Dad would pick me up and let me put it on top of the tree and M-mom would say that the angel was watching over us. She always said that.

Bobby didn't know how to answer and his heart ached at the sadness in Dean's voice.

"Why would she say that, Uncle Bobby? Why would she lie like that?"

Bobby's heart broke even more at Dean's words. "What makes you think she was lying?" he finally asked.

"Because it's not true! Angels weren't watching over us! Because if they were, she wouldn't be….she wouldn't have….."

Bobby sat back down on the edge of the bed, resting his hand on Dean's knee. Taking a deep breath, he tried to gather his strength for the conversation they were about to have. At the same time, he was inwardly cursing John for not being the one to talk to Dean about this. Bobby cleared his throat, took another deep breath, and tried to explain to Dean something that he himself didn't even understand.

"Dean…. sometimes bad things happen to good people. I didn't know your mom, but from what I've heard about her, she was good people. I know she loved you and Sam and your dad. And I know she wouldn't lie to you. She really believed that angels were watching over you." Bobby paused, trying to figure out how to explain something like that to a kid. "But sometimes things happen that we're not meant to understand."

"It's not fair," Dean said simply.

"No, it's not," Bobby agreed. "But, Dean… there are a lot of things that aren't fair in this life. A lot of things that we'll never understand. You just have to realize that and get on with it, kid. It's the only thing we can do, sometimes."

Bobby and Dean talked for a little while longer, until Dean's eyes started to grow heavy. After telling the boy goodnight again and making sure the blankets were tucked around the two of them, Bobby made his way downstairs, determined to make things better for Dean. After making a few phone calls, he finally gave in to his need for a drink. Sitting down behind his cluttered desk, he pulled out a bottle of whiskey and poured himself a good-sized drink. It had been a long, emotional day and he was ready to numb his emotions a bit.

Morning came much too soon for Bobby, but he made his way downstairs to start breakfast. He was surprised to see Sam and Dean in the kitchen, both sitting at the table, eating their breakfast. "What's this?" he asked as he gestured at the food on the table.

"Sam was hungry," Dean answered, as if that answered everything.

"Dean, I don't know how I feel about you cooking."

"Uncle Bobby, I've been making breakfast for Sammy for a long time. And Dad lets me."

That didn't surprise Bobby at all. John also thought it was okay to sometimes leave Sam and Dean alone, but Bobby thought they were much too young for that. Looking over the food, he noticed that Dean had made bacon, scrambled eggs, and toast. He had even cut up some fruit for his fruit-loving little brother.

"Dean makes the best eggs, Uncle Bobby," Sam said with a mouthful of eggs. "His eggs are better than Daddy's."

"Is that so? Well, maybe I should try some of these famous eggs." Bobby grabbed a plate and started filling it up. He was surprised to find that they were really good. "These are delicious, Dean."

"See? I told you! And Dean makes the best macaroni and cheese, too!"

Bobby smiled at the way Sam looked up at his brother so adoringly. And at the way Dean blushed from the attention and the compliment. "Well, maybe Dean needs to take over the cooking from now on."

Dean groaned. "Thanks, Sammy. Now I have to do all the cooking."

Bobby laughed. "I wouldn't make you do all the cooking, Dean. But maybe you can just be in charge of breakfast."

"Yes!" Sam yelled, jumping up excitedly at the same time. Unfortunately, he knocked over his glass of orange juice, sending the juice pouring over the table and directly into Bobby's lap.

"Damn it!" Bobby yelled as he stood up and grabbed a dishtowel, missing the look of fear that crossed both boys' faces. He also missed the immediate response of Dean stepping over to protect his brother.

"It was an accident," Dean said quickly. "He didn't mean to do it, Uncle Bobby."

Bobby finally realized the sound of panic in Dean's words and turned back to the boys.

"Please don't punish Sam, Uncle Bobby. I'll clean it up, I promise."

"Punish Sam?" Bobby asked incredulously. "Who said anything about punishing Sam?"

"He made a mess," Dean answered. "But, I swear it was an accident. And I'm sorry I wasn't watching him better. You can punish me, if you want to."

Bobby threw the towel down on the counter, frustrated beyond belief. "I know it was an accident. And no one's getting punished, okay?"

Dean didn't look completely convinced and Bobby realized just how new their relationship really was. He had already grown to love Sam and Dean, but they obviously still had a lot to learn about each other. He looked closely at the boys. Dean was still standing protectively in front of his brother and Sam was leaning into Dean, his small hands grasping his brother's shirt tightly.

Stepping over to the table, Bobby gave them a small smile. "How about we get this mess cleaned up, hmmm? And then the two of you can finish your breakfast and go play outside for a while." Grabbing the roll of paper towels and a damp dishtowel, Bobby handed the paper towels to Sam and Dean, keeping the damp towel for himself. Sam and Dean both scrambled to clean up the spilled juice and Bobby didn't miss the veiled looks Dean kept throwing him. Once they were done, he threw the dish towel in the sink and sat back down at the table. "Now, where were we?" he asked, pleased that he was able to elicit a smile from Sam.

Sam and Dean watched as he started to eat again, acting as if nothing had even happened. A few seconds later, Dean hesitantly picked up his fork and took a bite of eggs. Sam, who was fixedly watching his brother, then picked up his own fork and started eating, too.

Once they were done, Dean quickly cleaned off the table. He was just about to get started on the dishes when the doorbell rang, causing all of them to look towards the door. Bobby cleared his throat. "Dean, why don't you boys go upstairs and get dressed. And make sure you brush your teeth."

Without a word, Dean grabbed Sam's hand and led him to the stairs.

Almost twenty minutes later, Sam and Dean came backstairs. They could hear voices coming from Bobby's study and Dean wasn't sure if they should head that way. He had just made up his mind to take Sam into the living room when he heard Bobby's voice calling out to them.

"Boys? Come here."

Dean led his brother toward the study, keeping him slightly behind him. Once they entered the study, they both stopped, surprised to see Jim Murphy standing next to Bobby.

"Pastor Jim!" Dean yelled as he ran forward, throwing himself into the man's arms. Sam wasn't too far behind him.

"Dean! Sam! It's good to see you boys!"

"What are you doing here?" Dean asked. "Is Dad okay?"

"He's fine, Dean. He's fine. I just came for a visit, that's all."

"I missed you, Pastor Jim," Sam said, still clutching the man tightly.

"I missed you, too, Sam. My house is too quiet without you boys there." Jim pulled away slightly, turning his attention to Dean. "I brought you something that I think you might like."

Dean watched as Jim opened a bag he had been holding and dug around inside. Bobby was watching the boy closely, hoping that he hadn't made a mistake when he called Jim the night before. The instant Dean figured out what Jim had brought out of the bag, his eyes lit up, and Bobby knew he hadn't made a mistake.

"Where did you get that?" Dean asked as he stared in awe at the Angel tree topper Jim was holding.

"It's something I had at home, Dean. And when Bobby told me that he didn't have one for your tree, I thought I'd bring it to you."

Dean stepped closer, his eyes never leaving the angel. "It looks just like the one we used to have," he said at last, his tone reverent.

By this time, Sam was trying to get a better look at the thing that made Dean act so weird. "What is it?" he finally asked.

"It's for the tree, Sammy," Dean explained. "It goes at the very top."

"Why?" Sam asked.

"Because…." Dean answered.

"That's not a good answer, Dean. Daddy always says that it's not." Sam crossed his arms and glared at his brother.

Bobby and Jim laughed at the look on the boy's face. Dean just looked annoyed.

"Why do we have to put an angel on the top, Dean? Why can't it be a horse? Or a superhero?"

"You can't put a horse on top of a Christmas tree, dummy," Dean scoffed.

"Says who?" Sam asked. "And Daddy said you can't call me names, Dean."

Jim took one look at the irritation on Dean's face and decided to step in before things got out of hand. "Sam, remember when you heard the story of the birth of Jesus in Sunday school?" he asked.

"Yeah," he answered excitedly. "Jesus was born in a stable because there was no room at the motel. Am I right, Pastor Jim?"

"Yes, you are, Sam. You were obviously paying attention in class."

"I always pay attention, Pastor Jim. Daddy says I do that really good. But not Dean. Daddy says he gets dis…um, dis…."

"Distracted," Jim supplied.

"Yeah, distracted! Dean gets in trouble a lot for being that!"

"Well, do you remember the part about the bright star leading the three wise men to Bethlehem? And about the angels that appeared over Bethlehem to announce His birth? Well, some people put a star on top of their tree and others use an angel. It symbolizes the significance of the birth of Jesus." Jim couldn't help but notice that Dean seemed to be hanging on his every word as much as Sam was. "You were too small to remember, Sam, but Dean remembers the angel that your mother used to put on the tree. That's why it's so important to him."

"Oh. Okay," Sam answered.

Jim turned his attention back to Dean. "What do you say we go put this on top of the tree, Dean?"

"Yes, sir," Dean said with a small smile.

The two boys followed Bobby and Jim into the living room, stopping in front of the Christmas tree. Jim held the angel out for Dean to take and the boy cradled it gently in his hands.

"I think I'm going to have to pick you up so you can reach the top, Dean." He bent down to pick the boy up, but Dean stopped him.

"Wait! Let Sammy do it," Dean said.

"Are you sure, Dean?" Bobby asked, knowing how much the angel meant to the boy.

"Yeah. He's never done it before." Turning to his little brother, Dean held out the angel. "Be careful with it, Sammy, okay? Don't drop it."

Sam took the angel from Dean, holding it as gently as he could. "I won't drop it, Dean. I promise."

Jim picked Sam up and held him up as high as he could, thanking God that the boy wasn't very big. They all watched breathlessly as Sam reached out and placed the angel on top of the tree. Once it was settled at the top, they all sat down. Sam and Dean stared at the tree, but Bobby and Jim kept their eyes trained on the boys, amazed by the wonder they saw on their faces.

"It's so pretty, isn't it, Dean?" Sam asked as he stared at the angel.

"Yeah," Dean answered with a small smile. "It's just like I remember."

Jim stayed for the rest of the day, much to Sam and Dean's delight. They watched a few Christmas movies, had a snowball fight, and listened as Jim told them the Nativity story again. But, after dinner, they had to say goodbye to the man.

Dean hugged the man closely right before he left. "Thank you for bringing the angel, Pastor Jim," he said quietly.

"You're welcome, Dean. But, Bobby's the reason I knew to bring it to you, so make sure you thank him, okay?"

"Yes, sir."

"You and Sam behave yourselves. I'll talk to you soon."

They all watched as Jim got into his car and drove off. Sam and Bobby went back into the house a few minutes later, but Dean stayed outside. When he finally came back in, Bobby was trying everything he could to get Sam to take a bath.

"Come on, kid. It's been a long day and it's almost your bedtime."

"I don't want to go to bed, Uncle Bobby. I'm not tired."

"You've been yawning for the last hour, Sam. And your daddy gave me strict instructions to put you to bed on time."

Sam was about to argue, but stopped when he saw his brother.

"Come on, Sammy. If you hurry up and take your bath, I'll read you an extra story."

"Okay!"

Sam jumped up and ran upstairs, leaving Dean and Bobby just standing there. Dean shifted nervously from foot to foot, wanting to tell Bobby thank you for the angel, but feeling embarrassed about it for some reason.

"Uncle Bobby? I, um…. I just wanted to say thanks for, um….. for the angel. You didn't have to do that just for me."

"All I did was make a call, kid. And it seemed important to you."

Dean looked embarrassed by that and Bobby found himself growing angry. At John Winchester, of course. The man and his unhealthy obsession was sorely to blame for Dean's difficulty in acting like a normal, selfish kid. Instead, he acted like a kid who thought he wasn't deserving of anyone doing anything extra for him.

"Dean, there's nothing wrong with wanting something for yourself. I could tell that having an angel on the tree was important to you, so I did what I could to find one."

Dean was quiet for several minutes before he finally spoke. "It's not fair, Uncle Bobby. Sam's never had a real Christmas and Dad doesn't even care."

Bobby wasn't surprised that the boy had turned the attention away from himself again. "It's not that he doesn't care, Dean. He's just got a lot on his mind."

"It's not fair to Sammy," Dean repeated.

"It's not fair to you, either," Bobby said. "Dean, I wish things could be different for you and your brother, and maybe someday it will. But, for now, your dad is doing what he thinks he has to do."

"I know. He's saving people and that's more important than Christmas. I get it. But, Sam…. Sam's important, too, Uncle Bobby."

Bobby's heart broke at the boy's words. Dean was always looking out for Sam, but Bobby suddenly realized that no one was looking out for Dean. And the sad part was that Dean didn't even comprehend the injustice of that. He struggled to find a way to make Dean understand that he was just as important as his brother, but before he could figure out how to do that, Sam's voiced echoed down the stairs.

"Dean! I'm ready!"

Dean gave Bobby a small smile before he headed up the stairs to take care of his brother. Bobby just watched him go.

Sam and Dean spent the next several days playing outside in the snow, only coming in the house periodically to warm up and get a snack before rushing back out to play. Bobby would watch from the window as the boys built snowmen and snow forts and as they bombarded each other with snowballs. Dean would usually go a little easy on Sam during the snowball fight, until he inevitably would get hit in the face with one of Sam's snowballs. Then it was an all-out war that either ended in the boys laughing and giggling as they sat around the fireplace trying to warm up or with Sam crying at the unfairness of Dean always winning.

In between the snowball fights and the cartoon marathons, Bobby tried to get in some of the training John ordered for his boys. Dean was supposed to be working on his knife-handling skills, as well as practicing with the bow and arrow, while Sam was to practice his hand-to-hand fighting techniques and wrestling moves. Both boys were also supposed to be learning how to read a map.

Sam enjoyed the map reading lessons, but hated the physical training. Dean was completely opposite, though. He thrived in the physical aspects of the training, but balked at anything that required him to sit down for extended periods of time. Overall, though, the training was going well.

John had called to check in a few times. He would always talk to Bobby first, then spend several minutes talking to Dean before finally talking to Sam. Bobby noticed that the boys were more subdued after each phone call, especially Dean.

Three days before Christmas, John called again. He spent longer than normal talking to Bobby and Dean could tell that Bobby was mad about something his dad was saying. Eventually, Bobby handed the phone to Dean.

"Hey, Dad."

"Dean, how are you? Are you boys behaving for Bobby?"

"Yes, sir," Dean answered immediately.

"Bobby says your training is going good. How's Sammy?"

"He's okay. Uncle Bobby says he's getting really good at reading a map."

"Uncle Bobby?"

Dean was quiet for several long seconds before answering. "He said it was okay for us to call him that, Dad."

"It's fine, Dean. Just surprised me, that's all." John hesitated before continuing. "Dean, I know I said I'd be back by Christmas, but I don't think it's going to happen."

"You're not gonna be here for Christmas?"

"I'm afraid not, son. This job is proving to be harder than I thought."

"But, Dad….. It's Christmas! And you said you'd be here!"

"I can't just leave in the middle of a hunt, Dean. People are in danger here."

"Dad…."

"Damn it! I'm sorry, Dean. I'd be there if I could."

"It doesn't matter anyway," Dean said dejectedly.

"Dean…."

"Sammy wants to talk to you, Dad. Here he is…." Without even saying goodbye, Dean handed the phone to his little brother. He listened as Sam told John all about the snowball fight they had that morning and the snow fort they built. He could tell the exact second John told Sam that he wouldn't be home for Christmas. And in that second, he hated his father for breaking Sammy's heart.

Sam stopped talking and held the phone out for Dean. "Daddy wants to talk to you again, Dean," he said sadly. But Dean didn't take the phone. Instead, he turned and walked out of the room, leaving Bobby to deal with an angry John Winchester and a devastated Sam Winchester. The last thing he heard before heading upstairs was Bobby asking John how he could live with himself for letting his boys down again.

Author's note: Poor Dean is beginning to learn just how obsessed his father is with hunting. And it's only going to get worse, right?

I love writing the boys with Bobby, so I hope you all don't mind. I know this story is called Raising Winchesters, but I think Bobby had just as much to do with raising Sam and Dean as John did. At least, in this story.

I'm a little behind in responding to reviews, but I hope to get to do that soon. Thank you all so much for reading and for reviewing. I hope you enjoyed this chapter.