Chapter 13- Dark Hour
The next few days blended into one. It seemed like an endless cycle. In the daytime, I would have Sarabi educate me on hunting, gradually building on the skills we had been covering. I enjoyed those times. There was less at stake and I didn't feel out of place, my mind occupied away from the ever-present fact I wasn't in the right body, at least in my mind. With her, I was getting used to it, even starting to accept it. With Sarabi, I was picking up new skills, yet I didn't feel at unease with those new skills. The standard learning curve was there, but Sarabi made the whole process feel very natural to me. Of course, the two of us had been spending a lot of time in each other's company, which I felt increased our bond. We were definitely becoming closer, leaning on each other for support more often than when we first met. Whilst it still didn't feel unconditional to me, I had a sense that Sarabi wasn't lying when she would tell me that if I came into harm's way, she would lay her own life out on the line. She had said that before and assured me that all the lionesses would do the same, being in that strong sisterhood they were. However, there was no repeat of that before she would let me go over to Scar as the darkness gathered. Every time I was beckoned to him, Sarabi would tell me that same statement. I could feel her worries grow as I went off with the lion king for the second part of my day.
Whilst I did have time to rest in between the time spent with my two mentors, it didn't always mean I would take advantage of that. Each of those days I would toss and turn for a while before I would get a short-lived rest. What must have made it harder for Sarabi and Sarafina was that they woke me each time because Scar would call out for me, knowing I was asleep. It was another way her exercised his power over the reluctant lionesses. The lessons with Scar were not something I enjoyed so much. They felt as if they dragged on for a lot longer than I could focus on. Despite this, Scar was able to command my attention through various methods. I felt uneasy the entire time I followed him and listened. He hadn't made me forget about the agreement we had. I told him what I had been doing with Sarabi. What I had learned in the day and what Sarabi had shared with me. I was too scared of the consequences to not follow his orders, though I steeled myself enough to hold back on some things. He never made it explicit as to what the consequences were for disobeying him, leaving it to my own thoughts, just giving him a higher degree of amusement. I could understand that he wouldn't do anything to me directly, but at this point I'd formed enough connections with others that I didn't want to risk involving them in this. I already had too close a call with Zazu.
Each time I was asked by the lion king, I made a point to keep eye contact with him, forcing myself to endure is green gaze. By the time I had a few days experience, I was rarely finding a need to look away. I think he had taken notice of it, his toothy grin only growing wider once he realised, he had toughened me up in some ways. He knew he was an intimidating figure, especially to someone my size, so it would have been a hit to his ego if I kept a strong resolve in front of him. Despite my improvements, Scar knew how to weaken me, having even put the thought in my head that he may try something involving Inja, one of the lionesses that had looked after me when Sarafina and Sarabi weren't able to stay. Usually at the mention of someone I had a connection with, I could feel my pupils shrink a little bit, an unsettling feeling in the pit of my stomach. When he knew his opponent, the lion king was a master of mental battles. Without having to do much, he could make me feel entirely insecure and unsafe.
In spite of his rather torturous games, I found I was even forming a bond with him. Considering the amount of time I was subjected to spending with him, I shouldn't have been surprised. This growing bond disturbed me enough that when I would return, it wouldn't be uncommon for me to unsuccessfully hold back tears in front of Nala, Sarabi and Sarafina. I hated that a part of me was feeling closer to him, like he might actually care for me. I didn't know if it was because he was that good at manipulating, or if it was because of my animal instincts. Being fearful of him, but at the same time a growing appreciation of him, when not long before I was suspicious of his part to play in the deaths of his own brother and nephew. It was worrying to notice those feelings were fading away.
To add to this, in the days after my first lesson with him, it was common for us to have a few hyenas accompany us. He would command them to follow our orders. Even if they didn't seem too pleased to cooperate like this, even they found a similar sort of fun that he found from this. There would be more deaths at my doing, albeit indirectly. I was often forced into saying the words he wanted to hear, my fear pushing me further into his wishes. My skin would crawl when he would compliment me on the work I had carried out, the stench of blood both disgusting and exciting me. I wanted to stop myself, but there was the other part of me that strived for his approval. The hardest night I had after the first was when I caught myself smiling once the murder I ordered was carried out right in front of me. I didn't watch in horror, instead with intrigue.
I wondered if I was being influenced too fast, but the fact I would come back in tears every time was telling me I wasn't as far gone as I had feared. It was like I was a child doing something I knew I shouldn't with the one adult's approval being all I needed to open the gates. I was telling myself I was only going along with it so that no one else was in danger because of my refusal to follow the lion who was my king. I felt at odds with myself every time, but I couldn't ignore how bad it made me feel every time after these lessons with Scar. Having hidden the full truth from everyone else, I made a decision to take action myself and stand up to him before I could be forced to do anything else. How I was going to do that, I didn't actually know, but I couldn't keep falling into Scar's sway when I knew it was wrong. If Sarabi and the others knew, I wasn't sure I could face their reaction, having likely already disappointed them a little after the first night. No doubt Sarabi was also monitoring my behaviour in our own lessons. I was feeling the pressure from all sides and wanted to at least relieve pressure from one of the sides.
Getting to Scar's side as I usually did, he caught me off guard, smiling at me, but without baring his teeth. "Ah, my dear little lioness, I hope you are ready for another wonderous evening of education that will do nothing but thrill your young mind." He cleared his throat as he pulled me in close "Now, tell me what you see before you. Tell me." He urged me, shaking me a little as I was pressed against his side.
I looked out to the slowly darkening landscape and replied "I see all the land that we can have as well as the land beyond it, because like the darkness, we can rule over it all." This line had almost been rehearsed daily. He patted me and gave his praise. "But doesn't that seem like a bit much? How would we ever manage over land that we can't see? There wouldn't be a way we could know how it is doing." I argued, regretting this immediately when I felt him let go of me and shift both our positions so that he was facing me, his sights set on looking right into me.
The look he had wasn't a kind one, instead scowling at me "I'm going to pretend I didn't hear my heir say that. And you are going to pretend this little scene ended after you told me about the kingdom we will soon rule over. The kingdom I will take, I leave to you. How disrespectful of you to not accept everything I am going to give you." He growled in a dark manner, actually warning me directly this time. I bowed my head to take my eyes from his, although I could tell he was still holding his focus on me. "Now now child." He purred, beginning to stroke me again "You just needed reminding of how lucky you are. In fact, why don't we show you some more when we leave for our lesson, hm?" I didn't need to look to know he had his menacing grin again, almost forcing my little body to shiver. Of all things I knew that could haunt me, that look was one of them. I could only find the strength to nod long with him, unable to show any resistance again for the moment.
Assured that I was, following his desire again, we made our way off pride rock. I followed him to where he would select the hyenas to accompany us. Each time they would have their own fun at my expense, snapping near my tail or snarling in my face. Anything to get me to show how scared I was. However, before we got there, Scar stopped, lowered himself a little bit when he started speaking "First test today. Don't let those hyenas know they can scare you. Like anything in this world, if you show it fear, it won't respect you. I want you to impose your status to them. Show those useless creatures that they are no match for a lioness of your majesty." He ordered.
My expression told him that I was less than enthused with this task. "I can't do that. I just…they come at me from everywhere. I don't think they will change their opinion until I'm a lot bigger." I reasoned, able to hold his intrigue for long enough that I didn't earn a scowl from my resistance. Instead, the lion started laughing, not even trying to control his volume on it. If the hyenas heard, it was likely they would listen in and then I would never succeed in his little test. I gestured at the lion to stop, looking around to see if any hyena or even Lion was poking their head around to see what the laughter was about. I almost hoped that Sarafina or Sarabi would appear to take me away from this.
Of course, they didn't. Scar settled his laughter as he looked down to me again, his toothy grin making me feel even less confident. He seemed to have little regard for how I felt, even if he was being oddly caring towards me in his own way. Once he finished laughing, he couldn't help but use a single claw to wipe a tear from his eyes, then deciding to place that claw under my chin. He pushed my head up to look at him further, our eyes locked in another stare down "Do you think you can only rely on size? Do you think the wildebeest don't fear us because of their size? Of course they fear us, because they know the power of a lion." He forced me to stand up straight, keeping my head up as he got by my side "You must show every animal in your kingdom that you are their ruler. You are the one they should fear, for a lack of your approval should result in nothing positive for them. You must make examples of those individuals, or even groups." He spoke with gusto, his gesturing paw clenched into a powerful fist as best he could. "Ah, I know. The first of those snivelling hyenas that tries to make a fool of you; you strike it and give them a look that tells them next time they wouldn't be so lucky." He encouraged before leading me forwards, not even giving me the chance to agree or disagree with him.
Sure enough, it wasn't long before we were surrounded by what felt like a thousand pairs of eyes set on Scar, but mainly me. I could feel my heart race as I looked around, the fading light doing nothing to stop how clearly I could see the hyenas. Their cackling hit me like an eerie echo, just reminding me of all the unpleasant things I had gone through with them present. I tried to calm myself, but found it impossible, with Scar keeping us still in the centre of their crowd. If it wasn't obvious I was on edge before, then it would have been after I dodged a small strike one feigned towards me. The chorus of laughter that erupted after actually took me away from my own fears. Scar reminded me of my task. Having been put into a sort of trance to drown those laughs out, I took my steps towards the offending hyena. This one was a little smaller than the few that were nearby it, but they were still large to me.
I knew the king's eyes were on me, so felt the added pressure of it. I didn't know if he expected me to back out or if he wanted this to backfire. After a few more steps, all the hyenas had taken notice that I was approaching their comrade and the laughter died down immediately, all of them waiting to see what I would do. For them, this was new ground, as I had only responded in fear before. They wouldn't have expected me to approach any of them, even those that had accompanied me on lessons with Scar. The offender stood with a blank expression, trying to work out if I was a threat or another thing to laugh at. I felt sick to my stomach as I realised, I was going to go through with this. I gestured that he approached me, and after looking to his king, the hyena obliged. I looked him square in the eyes, my expression rather void of emotion and then said, "I'm sorry." It was audible enough for anyone near to hear it. However, before a lot of them would have had time to process it, I let a paw of mine swing, my claws extended fully as I slashed across the hyena's face. He yelped and retreated back, the blood dripping down I had cut so deep.
To my surprise, he didn't threaten to retaliate, instead staying backed away as I tried to drive this further by growling at him, scanning over other hyenas in case any of them decided it was a good idea to attack in their comrade's honour. None of them did, instead looking at me with a small degree of fear. I didn't know why, but with my offending paw, I lifted it to my face and gave it a lick to clean it of any 'mess'. It was like having an outer body experience where my mind was telling me to stop. Finally, I regained control and muttered again to the hyena I attacked "I'm sorry." It didn't listen, keeping its eyes away from me. Now I knew how Scar felt in front of me, at least to some extent.
I couldn't be certain, but I suspected Scar had influenced their reaction, the lion standing next to me as he called out with authority. "Let that be a lesson to you all. Failure to treat your leaders with respect will not be tolerated. My heir's life is worth more than all of yours and I would watch happily as she tore each and every one of you down limb by limb. However, my friends, if you pay the respect we deserve, we shall reward you greatly with the largest feasts a hyena has ever known." He declared, keeping their attention on him as everyone seemed to forget about what I had just done to one of them. "You." He called to the now injured male, gesturing it over. "Pick another two of your kind and join my heir and I. Perhaps you will learn something as well." He purred towards it, though it was clear with his words how he was just using the hyenas and how they hadn't turned on him yet was surprising to me. I supposed that the reward they were offered was worth the disregard Scar gave them.
Before we made our way out, Scar looked to me, amused at what had just unfolded. He decided to push that further, nudging me just ahead of him "The rest of you can start showing respect to your future and current leaders. Bow to us as we make our leave." He nudged me again to start walking away from the scene. He leaned in to my ears to breathe over my neck and speak in a low voice "Show them. Show your authority above them." He growled, it being obvious he was grinning again. "Next time I don't expect to hear you giving a pathetic apology." As I walked away, he continued speaking so that they couldn't hear us "A king or queen must never apologise for anything they do. It shows weakness. Weakness spells the end of your time as ruler." He reminded me, pushing me ahead so that I would walk faster.
The three hyenas that had been selected to come with us were enough distance away that they were out of earshot as we descended onto the darkened Pridelands. The quiet of this area at night had become more unsettling every time I had made my way there. It wasn't something I had gotten used to. I could tell already that less animals were choosing to stay there. Before too long, we had arrived in the usual clearing where Scar would start his teachings. The hyenas sat nearby, as he commanded. He sat himself in front of me, his tail flicking with the amusement that he had a cub as his captive audience in this. If I tried running, it wouldn't take much effort for him or the hyenas to catch me and bring me back. That was part of the reason I was able to stay there. "We have reached a crucial stage in your training, Tishala. I notice you have been questioning me. Whilst I am your king, I expect you follow my command." He curled himself around me, though it didn't have the same comforting effect that Sarabi was able to bring. I felt trapped as he pulled me against him "I am only teaching you all these wonderful things so that when you are able to rule, you can do so in a way that ensures my-ahem-your legacy will continue onwards. You will be spoken of in legend, revered across the lands. A shining beacon for how glorious a kingdom can be. Do you understand?" He asked, not looking, instead rubbing our cheeks together. It was rather forced, but even then, I couldn't help sounding out a small purr.
Naturally when he heard that, he considered it an approval of his words. His mood continued to lift in its own way as he continued with what he obviously thought was a great lesson "Your own lineage was clearly not fit for ruling in the method you spoke of before. Your parents were setting up their kingdom to be taken over by a stronger breed. The strongest lions will create the greatest legacies. Fortunately for you, I can help you bring your family back to the point of a feared one. You will be the first of your generation of rulers that will know how to grow their kingdom. From the wisdom I part to you, I expect to have my greatness remembered. A kingdom that truly prospered instead of sat back with content." He continued. It wasn't uncommon for the lion king to drone on like this. He seemed to get gradually more animated as he thought of the kingdom he painted for himself. He made it seem as if he had provided great change for the kingdom since he ascension to the throne. He may as well have been giving himself a monologue, because I wasn't buying into any of it. After what I had been learning from Sarabi, the kingdom was never better than when Mufasa was king. I knew I couldn't say that though.
Despite my reservations, I could feel defiance rising within me. I glared at him, immediately causing his brow to raise, curious as to why I had a stern look about me "You can't be sure of that at all! All we've seen is less animals in your kingdom." I spat, those last two words with particular venom to them. Even as I saw his expression change to fury, I didn't relent. "What kind of king loses his subjects?" I growled. Before I knew it, I had been swiped to the side, hit hard by his sizeable paw. I was winded as I laid on the ground, the heavy sting and ensuing ache on my side where he struck. I didn't have time to recover though, as I felt him stand over me, teeth bared as he lowered his head enough that his fangs would graze over my body.
I had my eyes closed as he let me know just how much more power he over me. He let out a low, warning snarl "The kind of king that can make sure you don't last another day. Defying your king is not wise. Do it too often and I will not hesitate to give any of the hyenas a well-deserved snack. Just because I have you as my heir, it does not mean I will tolerate behaviour like this from you. Tishala…" he trailed off, seeing how I was frozen with fear. I thought I was going to die in that moment. As he lifted his head, he let out a dark chuckle, the hyenas joining in with him "Rise up, my princess. In time you will understand how I am showing the truth and that those lionesses have been deceiving you." He explained as I brought myself to my paws again, wincing as each deep breath I took reminded me of the blow I had taken to my side. No doubt he had bruised, maybe even more than that.
I huffed and looked back at him with a less than friendly glance "Please enlighten me." I coughed, having taken too deep a breath at that point. Despite the tense situation I found myself in, my tone was dry, almost matching Scar's own at times.
The lion grinned and used two claws to hold my chin "Don't worry princess, you will be enlightened." He assured me, laughing again before letting go of me. "Now, what do you want your hyenas to do this time? You could ask them to hunt for something in case you are hungry, though I don't imagine you would get more than scraps. Maybe you just tell them as a show of your power? You may want them to tell you where your next hunt is. I want to see you take down moving prey this time. After all, this will only help you when you lead your lionesses to a hunt. Wouldn't you want to impress them?" He asked, his voice almost jumping up in pitch on the last word, like he had been humming those words to himself all day.
The three hyenas were standing to attention when I looked to them, though no doubt it was more to do with Scar's authority instead of mine. I still hadn't fully recovered from being knocked aside by Scar when I spoke to them, my voice coming out a lot rougher than normal "Find me my next hunt. Bring it in my direction." I winced as I took in another breath too deep. I made sure to phrase my command the way that Scar liked hearing it. To my surprise he even showed his approval with a curt nod, as if he hadn't been listening much. His dismissive approach to teaching me led to my frustration grow. The more it grew, the more it confused me. Why was I trying to get his approval if I didn't like him? The hyenas nodded and sprinted away; a few faint giggles could be heard as they made a start to their order. That was when I looked back to Scar "Is that good enough for you?" I huffed.
He used a claw to scratch at his chin, as if holding a thought "How nice of my own heir to ask my approval. Yes, princess, that was acceptable." He emphasised the word princess, knowing how uncomfortable that made me feel, even if I tried hard to hide it most of the time.
I looked away from him with a forlorn stare, eyes cast to the ground "Don't call me princess. I'm not one." He raised a brow at that and then did something I did not expect from him. He had pulled me into quite a tight hug, but unlike others, it was softer than before, like he was actually trying to comfort me. "What are you doing?" I quizzed, though my words were muffled as I was held against his body, fur nearly in my mouth.
He let go of me before putting distance between us again "You are my heir. How can I respond with anything but affection when I see you doubting yourself?" I looked at him, staring for a long time. This wasn't his typical behaviour towards me, or anyone. In my head, I was sure it was a trick. If it was, then did he know I thought that, or did he think I was clueless? I couldn't picture him caring for anyone other than himself. At the same time, I felt betrayal within myself, feeling a little it sorry for the king. He clearly had no one to care for him, with all the lionesses opposing him entirely, even if he was their king. It seemed like he might have been trying to get a sort of connection with me because I was the outsider like him. "You were princess back where you were from. I'm simply making you a better one than your family ever could have hoped for. Believe for them." He added, sounding a lot more like he normally did, his words rolling over in a lazy tone. Using my family, fictitious or not, was a clear play on manipulating me. Yet, in spite of all that, I still felt like he may have just wanted a connection with someone again.
The lion king lifted his head up "Hyenas coming back?" I asked, getting myself to a similar, alert stance. I focused on whatever sound I could, hearing thudding on the ground. That told me that there was running, no doubt the hyenas chasing something towards where Scar and I were. Before I could say anything else to him, I noticed that the king had disappeared into the darkness, leaving me to prepare myself for whatever attack I was going to land. The running got louder as they got closer. I could even hear the hyenas cackling away as they chased whatever it was. I could tell that this animal was larger than anything I had attempted on before.
Once in sight, I saw that they were chasing a dik-dik, a small member of the antelope family. I could see the terror in its eyes, but I was taken by my own predatory mode that had activated. Having seen me, the hyenas stopped their chase, backing away. The small animal kept running, panting hard as it looked behind it to see if it was still being chased. It saw there were no hyenas to chase it, and I had hidden myself enough to not be spotted, so it stopped. I could almost hear its heart beating and I licked my lips, my eyes fixed on the animal's every movement. Why it hadn't continued to run, I wouldn't ever find out.
Whilst it wasn't running, it edged closer to where I hid, and I readied myself for the inevitable attack I was about to launch. Just as it was close enough, I sprung into action, leaping at the unsuspecting animal, my claws extending out to dig into the small animal's sides, pushing it to the ground on its side. Once again, I could hear the terrified whimpers coming from it, though it thrashed around a lot more than any other animal I had caught, still fighting for its life. I started to lower my head. However, I didn't expect to pull my head up again when it butted its head in such a way that its small antlers were able to at least bruise me, though with any more force, it would likely have punctured my skin. I watched it continue to struggle as I held it down.
That near miss took me out of my predatory trance, finally hearing it speak, pleading for its life as it tried to get out of my grasp. I looked around, trying to spot Scar, able to think for myself for a moment. I wasn't thinking of the risk it might have to me, because I wanted to try and help the dik-dik out if I could. I leaned in from a different angle and tried to whisper "Hey, stop, stop. If you want to live, you're going to have to listen to me, okay?" It didn't respond immediately, nearly using those antlers on me again a few times. "Hey quit it!" I growled, trying to keep my volume low enough "Play dead…after this." I forced its head still and leaned in to nip at its neck with my teeth. It wouldn't have been fatal, although would have covered its neck in blood enough to maybe convince Scar. "You're gonna have to hold your breath." I whispered, finally getting cooperation from him. My muzzle was stained with the blood from his neck. I had to find some strength to resist, finding the scent almost dragging me back to my more instinctive side.
I kept a paw held on its side as I saw Scar emerge, those emerald eyes fixed on me and the animal I had taken down. He had a satisfied smile on his face "Princess Tishala, the ruthless huntress all shall fear." He gave a mocking bow as he inspected my work, though not closely, much to my relief. I kept a stone face expression, my ears twitching as I felt some of the blood start to drip from my muzzle. I knew where I drew blood wouldn't have been fatal, but there was still the chance that the dik-dik would have passed out. "Clearly your lessons with Sarabi are working. I would thank her, but we'll keep this our little secret as well, hm?" His smile went sickly as he gave me a wink. My expression remained unchanged.
The hyenas had emerged as Scar was speaking, eyeing up the body beneath my paw. I shot them a glare, the one I had attacked earlier flinched backwards with the rest of them. Apparently, I had actually gained a bit of reputation as someone to fear. As much as I didn't want to say it, the fact I had some hyena fear me felt good. It did make me feel more powerful. Without realising, I'd tightened my grip on the body, my claws digging in further. "Hyenas, leave at once." I ordered, watching them as they skulked away, disappointed they wouldn't get any reward for their efforts.
The feeling of power grew to the point I didn't realise my claws were digging in further and caused the dik-dik to squeak in pain, alerting Scar. I cursed to myself as he looked at my prey again, then at me. My hardened expression faltered. I could do nothing but offer a sheepish smile when the king scowled at me. I looked down and released the dik-dik "Go, run!" It jumped to life and started scurrying away, though it was obvious it wasn't running as fast as before. Scar took a step in its direction, though I stepped in his way, growling, ready to pounce. He looked down to me, like he was uninterested. I mirrored his movement enough that his irritation grew "I'm not going to let you get it. It doesn't deserve to die." I snapped, finally going in to launch at him.
With one nonchalant swipe of his, I was knocked aside again, tumbling on the ground before I settled. Once I was down, I saw he wasn't making chase for the escapee. Instead, he was making his way to me. "How disappointing." He sighed. "I shouldn't be surprised." He continued, pressing a paw on my back, holding me down so that I couldn't move. "Hyenas." He called and not a moment later they arrived with a manic grin on their faces, giggling between themselves. It was clear they had witnessed what just happened. The one I clawed at before laughed right in my face, forcing me to close my eyes and try to turn my head from him.
"Go retrieve the princess's little friend, would you?" He asked, giving a friendly smile to them, though I knew there was a sinister plot behind this. When they left to retrieve the dik-dik, I continued to struggle beneath him, forcing the lion to move so that his paw was on my head, claws digging in a little bit. Even as tears formed in my eyes, he didn't stop, instead applying pressure a little more as each second passed. He leaned down and growled into my ears "You should have killed it when you had the chance. You want to make friends with them? Run away. This is what will happen to those kinds of friends." He finished as they were dragging the helpless animal back, despite its efforts to struggle away. "Leave it in front of the princess." He commanded. Its eyes were level with mine, though I couldn't make out too much with the blurred vision coming from the tears. "Princess, I encourage you to savour your capture. Take the first bite." He pushed my head towards the small antelope.
I resisted, closing my eyes and squirming back as best as I could, though his hold on me was too great for me to break out of. "Let him go, Scar. Hyenas, let this animal go!" I pleaded, choking up with the tears that were starting to fall down my face. The hyenas stood there and couldn't control their laughter, again shoving it in my face. Scar tried again, but the same result. I refused to kill this animal.
He sighed again and let go of me for a moment. However, the second I tried lifting my head up, he had forced me back down again, growling in my ears once more before he smiled at the hyenas again "Well hyenas, it seems our princess has graciously decided to donate her meal to you." He charmed, offering the defenceless animal to them.
"No!" I screamed.
Scar got low to speak to me "Now watch as your new friend gets devoured. Learn that this is the way of things. You cannot escape what you are, Tishala." He purred into my ears, forcing me to watch as the hyenas started murdering the dik-dik right in front of me. I was forced to watch, Scar keeping my eyes open as I could see everything, hear everything.
"You're a monster." My voice croaked.
He chuckled "Me the monster? I didn't give such a feeble creature hope of survival. I'm not the one tearing it limb from limb. You allowed it this fate by showing mercy." He explained, though I could tell it was far from the truth. My heart ached, watching as my victim locked eyes with me for a split second before the life went from their eyes. It was a more horrifying version of what I saw on the first night I had with Scar. I tried to squirm away, but I was forced to watch until the body was barely recognisable. Through all this, I felt disgusted that the smell of the now exposed flesh was tempting, forcing a mental war inside my mind. The frenzied manner in which the hyenas stripped the body of any flesh also caused a split, where I felt a desire to join them in it, but at the same time I wanted nothing more than to get out of that place. "Look at what you did." Scar finished before pushing my head into the ground, taking his paw off me afterwards.
I lifted myself up and turned my attention to the lion, seeing his intense glare had died down a little bit, instead just casting his eyes away from me. The disappointment he spoke of was clear. I couldn't take how much he was trying to toy with my conflict, wanting to scream out loud there, but no doubt I would have been scorned for that too. Behind me, I could hear the bone crunching from the hyenas finishing off their food, forcing the vivid memory of the poor animal's slaughter come to the front of my mind. I could have boiled over.
Feeling my anger build, I growled, getting louder, not caring if it didn't intimidate any of the others with me. For a moment, I saw red. Growling out in frustration, I turned to the hyenas and charged, all three unaware as they were occupied with their food. With a wild swing of a paw, I cut into one of them, not even bothering to see which one before I would do it again, hearing their surprised yelps. In my head, all I could see was that struggling dik-dik. With that in my head, I kept swinging, soon not even connecting. I could see I hit all of them at least once and they were looking at me with a mixture of surprise, hatred and fear.
I could almost see them charge for me, but before they had the chance, Scar stepped between us to neutralise the tension. "Go wash yourselves. I will see you back at pride rock." He said to them, keeping his gaze centred on them as they walked away to where they would be able to clean their bodies from the blood, both the dik-dik's and their own. The moment they left, his head switch around so that he could glower at me.
"Much as I might be impressed by that display, how do you expect to have loyal followers if you start brutalising them? Those hyenas will not stay with us if you abuse them like that." He sighed "If you must, try being more subtle about it. Hyenas aren't the smartest, but they are good at following orders. If you attack them, they won't follow orders any longer." He scolded, even through his suggestion. "Now, I will escort you back to the lionesses. I will inform them that you are not to be fed." I raised my brow at that "What kind of king would I be to force you to eat your own friends, hm?" He smirked, clearly proud of that punishment. "As a result of your disappointing decisions, I have no choice but to extend the length of our lessons indefinitely. It seems you still have much to learn if I am going to keep you as my heir." He started walking ahead of me. "Come now, Princess Tishala."
I almost ran back; I couldn't wait to get to relative safety. Scar didn't even ask me to sit with him at the edge of pride rock, though I did steal a look towards the moon that shone brightly in the night. Looking at it, I wished I could catch a break. I didn't need as much trauma as I had gone through. I didn't know what I had done to deserve it. For the first time in what felt like a long time, I wished I was back home, with my face buried in some book, or even scrolling through the internet for any scientific paper that might have been related to anything I had learned in a lecture earlier that day. Instead I was in the pride lands. Scar caught on that I had been looking at the moon and made it his personal duty to usher me into the den, pushing me in without much care for the other lionesses that were in there trying to rest. The force of his push knocked me into one of them, waking her up. Although she insisted she didn't mind, I couldn't help apologising. "Really, I am sorry. I'll try to be careful." I assured, though I got the feeling my constant chatter to her was more annoying than actually bumping into her.
As I yawned, I found myself flopping at Sarabi's side. The queen welcomed me in, not saying much. After receiving my usual bout of grooming, I lifted my head to speak, but she shook her had and licked my cheek again "We can speak tomorrow, you need to sleep." She assured, nestling me in with a smile, giving some more attention to my ears. I took a half-lidded glance over to where Nala and Sarafina were, both of them resting. The peaceful scene they painted was a stark contrast not only to the night's lesson, but also to the dream I had involving Nala the other day.
My eyes felt heavy, but I was waking up slowly. My ears twitched, though only a little bit as they seemed to know they were listening to something that didn't involve them. The voices I could hear, they were hushed, if only a little. It didn't take long for me to work out that it was Sarabi and Scar. "Tishala shall not receive any of the hunt the lionesses bring back today." It sounded like Scar was following through on his punishment for me. I could feel the tension in Sarabi's body as she held me and took that order in, shifting a little bit so as to not disturb me. I kept my eyes closed, feigning sleep as best I could.
Sarabi argued "Scar, she is just a child. Leaving her without food is unacceptable. I didn't even think you were capable of such lows." She shook her head, nearly hissing at him.
He tutted, keeping calm in front of the queen "How are we supposed to control someone so wild if she cannot follow basic rules. I'm sorry, but even your beloved Mufasa would not bend the rules." He chided, tutting again.
A new voice entered the conversation, cutting in a great deal louder than the other two "Please don't stop her from eating. Make me do it instead." The voice belonged to Nala, who had jumped to my defence as well. Noticing he had moved, I cracked an eye open slightly so I could see he was approaching Nala, who was still in her mother's grasp. Sarafina tensed up as he got closer, but didn't look like she was about to strike.
Scar used one claw to scratch Nala's chin, feigning a reluctant sadness to her as he gently scratched her "I'm sorry my dear, but Tishala has been very, very bad and needs to learn the rules." He cooed, trying to persuade her it was a good idea. The cub though, didn't seem convinced, pulling a confused look to Scar.
Nala rebuffed "She hasn't done anything wrong. Please, she can have half of mine, I don't mind, right mum?" She looked back to her mother, who had to take her eyes off of Scar for a moment to answer her daughter.
"Well Nala, I don't see why either of you should have less food. I doubt that Tishala has done anything worth losing a meal over." She reasoned, looking back to the king as if asking for him to change his mind.
Scar shook his head "You would think that would be the case, but alas, in our lesson last night, I had to end it early. It was a horror to watch. An absolute tragedy." He announced, adding hints of sadness in his voice. "I was simply asking her to show me the wonderful skills you taught her." He gestured to Sarabi "That was when she insisted on me trapping a poor, defenceless animal for her to demonstrate on. I tried to refuse, but…you know how insistent young ones can be." He gave a sheepish smile to them, clearly having fun acting out this lie. "I couldn't stop her. The moment she leapt at the poor creature, she started tearing it apart, but not enough to end it. Instead, she made it suffer. It was harrowing. And then…" he gasped "I shouldn't say. After I pulled her away from it's body, she went crazy, as if there were an insatiable lust for blood. She started attacking our new hyena allies." He put a paw to his chest as if he were holding back tears. "I truly am sorry for telling you this." He forced his lip to quiver.
Nala raised her voice again "That's not true!" She shouted, frowning at the lion.
He shook his head slowly "I wish you were right, Nala. Truly, I do."
And with that, Scar made his leave, perfecting a sobbing sound as he pandered out. I kept my eyes closed, trying to remain still as a range of feelings washed over me. I didn't have too much time to worry about that as Sarabi spoke to Sarafina "I can't believe it. I can't see her doing what he says…" She sighed.
Sarafina made her way over to her friend, both of them looking down to me "I know you. You're not finished, so what is it?" She asked, keeping her tone quite frank.
"She has been a little different. Confidence? Maybe. However, she comes back from being with him and I know she isn't telling us everything. She comes back tired, dirty and so often looking like she's upset by something." The queen reasoned. I didn't have to see them to know the worried exchange of looks they gave each other.
Sarafina didn't hold the silence for long though "You need to talk to her then. That is the only way you can find out. You can't exactly talk to any hyena. Sarabi, she is the only one who knows what has been happening with her. You know that she trusts you a great deal. The two of you have pretty much been mother and daughter." Sarafina pointed out.
It seemed that may have hit a sensitive cord for the queen though and Sarafina apologised quickly. "No, I'm sorry. You mustn't feel like you can't be honest with me." She replied, defusing the situation, such was the strength of their friendship. "Even if I wanted to, I couldn't deny that Tishala and I have grown a bond. Of course we would. We have spent a lot of time together. She lost her parents. I lost my family. How could we not connect? She needed me as much as I needed her." Sarabi gave a sombre chuckle at that. "Forgive me, I could have continued for days."
Sarafina leaned in and gave her close friend some affection "I would have been here to listen." She purred. I was so focused on those two that I hadn't realised that Nala had made her way over to me, like she wanted to nudge me awake. Before I knew it, she was proceeding to do so. "Do you think that's the right way to let your friend wake up?" She raised a brow at her daughter, shaking her head.
Thankfully for Nala, I decided it was time I let them know I was awake. I stirred up, yawning and looking around at the den, noting that it was fairly early morning and most of the lionesses had already left. I ended up sneezing, which reminded me of the beating I had taken in my side, forcing me to wince immediately after. I was hoping they wouldn't notice, but it seemed unlikely. At least for the moment they put it to one side as Sarabi was the first to speak "You slept well." She purred, dragging her tongue over my head, making sure to clean my ears again "We were beginning to think you would sleep all day." She let out a soft chuckle.
Nala giggled along with the queen "Yeah, that why I decided to wake you up." She shot her mother a victorious smile, knowing she had won on this occasion. "So, now we have all day to go out and play. So first I was thinking that we could-" the cub was cut off by her mother, who seemed to join in the laughter.
"Nala, I think Sarabi and Tishala were going to spend the day together, isn't that right?" All of us looked to Sarabi as her friend put her on the spot.
Nala seemed less on board for that idea than the two adults, voicing her displeasure "What? We have barely had any time to play, mum! Please? I promise I'll be good. We'll keep it right in here, in the den." She caught her mother's attention, seeing the look that told her any requests would be denied. For a moment, she tried to persuade Sarafina with the most adorable face she could muster. Realising even that wasn't going to work, she relented "Fine, but tomorrow I want to play with my friend. It's no fun with no other cubs around!" She huffed.
Sarabi rose to stand, finally agreeing with Sarafina "Yes, I know exactly where Tishala and I will be going before she has more hunting to do." She looked to me "Shall we go to the gorge today? Afterwards we can work on how you should best stalk your prey." She added extra enthusiasm to that last part. It even brought a smile to my face, filling me with energy for the day again. "And Nala, she may be back in time to play with you as well. I make no promises though." She smiled and nuzzled the other cub before turning around to me "Lets get going." Without anymore words, she picked me up in her jaws, carrying me out the den as I waved goodbye to the other two. I had a feeling that this visit to the gorge would be a bit different to the others.
Sarabi didn't waste time, running all the way there, only putting me down once we reached the space overlooking the empty expanse beyond. "It won't be too long before I can't do that with you anymore. You'll have grown enough to support yourself. Of course, after that, it won't be long before you join us on hunts, at least to observe at first." She smiled to me, the both of us purring as we rubbed our cheeks together. "Come, let's sit by the edge." She guided us over before sitting and looking out in the distance. Unlike last time, when there was distance between us, this time there was barely any. "I am glad you and I can share this. It is nice to have something that is just ours." She mentioned, though I could see where it was leading. "Tishala." She looked down at me whilst I continued looking in the distance, feeling myself heat up as I knew I was about to be interrogated. I found some resolve and forced myself to look at Sarabi, holding eye contact. "I need you to tell me what you are going through. When you come back from being with him, you are either sad or in tears. I need to know, so I can help you."
With the very mention of my lessons with Scar, I could feel all the emotion surge to the front of my head. Sarabi had asked questions before, but this time, it seemed like she was intent on getting a full answer. "I…Sarabi, I just can't tell you. If I did, then I don't know what he would do to you or anyone else. I know you asked me to tell you whatever happens in those lessons, but if I did then you would hate me." I tried to explain, but the lioness did not budge.
She shook her head "Don't be silly, I couldn't hate you. You are the sweetest cub I have known, and although you have a troubled past, I know you well enough that I don't want to see you come back from Scar with tears in your eyes." She sounded as if she was getting a little emotional herself. "You know you can trust me. I will do whatever I can to help and protect you. I just need to know what happens. I can make it stop." She pulled me into an embrace, where both of us squeezed against each other.
"You can't go against the king." I lowered my head, my ears falling back as I said those words. "Scar is the king. I'm his heir. Scar is king and I'm his heir. You can't make his lessons stop, because he needs to teach me to be a ruler." I continued, sounding more pained as I went on. "I just don't want to do anything wrong anymore. I don't want to upset others." I couldn't help but break down into tears "I want to be a good leader," I cried, "but I'm not even sure I can be a leader at all." I bawled into her, though made sure she could hear what I said well enough.
I held onto her, gripping, but never extending my claws. I hated how easily I would break into tears. It showed a weakness, or at least that's what Scar would have told me. "Shh shh, dry those tears for me, little one. You look much better when you smile." She spoke in a soothing tone, her eyes soft with care as she tried to wipe my tears away. I still couldn't calm myself enough to continue fully. "For such a young lioness, you are being asked a lot of, and I know it can be scary. Just take your time, we have all day if you need it."
I sighed, sniffling some as I took in the view beyond us once again, finding its relative blank canvas to help calm me enough so that I could speak again. "You don't secretly hate me, do you?" I croaked, ready to break into tears again, so I looked into the barren lands again as a coping mechanism.
Once more, Sarabi pulled me in to use the physical contact as a means to comfort me "Goodness no. What could make you think that?" She asked, the concern very obvious on her voice.
"Scar said it. He said that you don't like any cubs except Simba. I didn't know if he was right or not, but I didn't want to make you think like I was trying to be a replacement. I really wasn't, really!" I covered my face with my paws and let the tears soak into them, though what felt like an endless stream of tears was flowing.
"I never thought you were trying to be a replacement to my Simba. I've never treated you as such. Not a single moment have I resented you or any other cub for that matter." She sighed "Simba was my son and I can never have that back, but I can never have that feeling taken away from me again either. I know you are not him and never will be." She sniffled a little bit "Neither he nor Mufasa would want any harm to come of you. When you were told you would be treated as one of our own, we meant it. If I were to go back on that, even with what happened, then I would be going against what we said." She kept me close, the rawness of the moment hitting me hard.
Through this, I gathered the courage to speak up again, steadying my voice "They would want me to tell you the truth, wouldn't they?" I asked, using it as an excuse to get out what I needed to. Of course, Sarabi nodded at me, looking hopeful as she waited for my response. "And it wouldn't make me bad, would it?"
She shook her head "Of course not, Tishala."
I took a deep breath in before starting to speak. "With Scar, I've done terrible things. I've lied to you. I've lied to others. I killed. I was the reason some poor animal was brutally murdered in front of me. Last night, I was told I would hunt again. This time though, Scar left me to hunt. It wasn't a fair hunt though. This animal, this poor animal…they were forced to go to where I was because I told the hyenas to bring it to me." I shuddered, stepping away from Sarabi, pacing back and forth as I continued the story "Even though I told you I wouldn't disrupt the circle of life, I still did it anyway…or, at least I nearly did. It nearly hit me with its antlers. It was like I had been woken up from a sleep. I tried to help it. I tried to make sure it could get away. Then when it made a noise again, I even tried to fight off Scar, but it was no use. He's way bigger than me. He just knocked me over and held me down when they dragged it back in." I could feel a single tear forming as I remembered the face of the victim as he tried to struggle away "He made me watch as the hyenas killed it." I stopped, looking to her.
Sarabi frowned with concern "So, you were at least partly responsible for this animal's death?" I nodded "But you tried to help it escape?" Again, I nodded. "Tishala, I need you to make sure you don't do things like that again. It's not the right path for someone like you to follow and if you aren't careful, those choices may start to affect you more." She advised, not quite telling me off, but warning what might happen. "I don't care how much Scar tries to pressure you into doing anything like that, you should resist." She instructed. "And these other lessons you have had with Scar, has anything else happened?" She asked.
"The other nights haven't been as bad as last night and the first night. I'm scared of myself because I almost feel good when doing things like that." I explained, looking to her with a worried expression.
The lioness gestured for me to come to her "But each time you come back; you don't seem like you feel good. The fact it upsets you is enough reason for me to believe you are perfectly normal. Being like that would scare anyone, but you realise it would be wrong to be like that."
I nodded, though my mood didn't seem to change "He said I wasn't allowed to eat today. And the rest of my lessons with him are going to be longer." I looked into Sarabi's eyes and asked, "Am I going to be okay?"
The darker furred lioness nodded "I promise you will be fine." Standing up straight, she looked down to me "Everything he tells you, you tell me, understood? Every bad lesson he is trying to impart, I am going to show you the right way of it. I will show you how to respect the circle of life that Scar is so clearly trying to abuse. He never had much of an appreciation for it. In the end even he will be part of the circle. Tishala, I need you to promise me that you will stay strong and only do what is right." I nodded in response, giving the same determined look she was sending me.
Even through my tear-soaked eyes I could tell this was a positive change. It was the one that I needed, although I knew it would still be a tough road ahead. "I will try to. I promise to try my best. I…just want to do the right thing."
Sarabi leaned in and we shared a gentle nuzzle with each other "If Scar wants to have you as his heir, well then we had better make sure you are the best heir these lands can hope for. The lionesses and I will make sure of that." She spoke louder, as if the enthusiasm was making her bolder than before. "Now, how about we go and practice your hunting skills? No doubt Nala will be doing the same. Maybe we can join them." She suggested.
The lion queen made her way past me, insisting that I walk with her instead of getting carried. I took another look into the endless expanse, the barren land ahead of me, before turning to follow her. It was in that moment, I felt a slight breeze circle around me, all over my body, hanging around my ears long enough for it to whisper to me "Find…must fi-…a-…-alise." The wind then whisked itself away, into the desert beyond.
"Tishala?" I was brought back to reality, when Sarabi called my name, forcing me to look back at her "Are you okay? Let's go." She gestured for me to follow, and this time, I did, though the whisper in the wind stayed in my head, trying to work out everything that it said.
"Find…must fi-…a-…-alise."
A/N:Well, there you all go. I understand there has been a long gap of time since the latest chapter. I apologise for that. My aim now, is to update this at least once a month and maybe twice a month. As always, I do not own The Lion King, that all goes to Disney. I hope to hear lots of from you all. I missed writing for you lot. Please let me know what you think of this and write a review! Tell me what you think might happen next, all the good stuff, or if you really want, you can write the bad stuff too. It's all a learning curve. See you all next time!