Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural
Warning: NOT A HAPPY STORY.
A/N: Hey... Yeah, I know it's been too long. This is the EXACT reason I hesitated to post the first chapter of this story to begin with! It wasn't finished and I didn't know if I could finish it before I went to college! Well, now I'm here and I guess I can post the next chapter for everyone to enjoy. It may be a while between this and the next update, and for that I am sorry. I truly apologize for such a long and agonizing wait. I will do everything I can to prevent it until the completion of the story, but no promises.
The lines mean either time change or POV change.
Dean woke up the following morning feeling groggy, but a quick sip of water roused him quick. A nurse came in to check on him pretty soon after. She was a bigger black lady and seemed to have a no-nonsense air about her. "How's Sam?" he asked without so much as a greeting.
"He woke up during the night. He didn't say anything and seemed to be pretty out of it. The doctors are running a few more tests," She answered, barely looking at him.
Dean felt a mixture of emotions; mainly relief. "Can I see him?"
She gave him a fixed look. "After what I hear you tried pulling off last night? You'll need to talk to your doctor before we'll take you back down to see him."
Dean clenched his fists. He could already tell she would be difficult. "When will he be here? I need to see Sam," he shot back.
"He'll get here at around ten. Now, do yourself a favor and calm down. You don't need to see him right now, he's not even awake. You need to focus on you and get better. Then we can see about getting you into see him." She put her hands on her hips facing him full on now, daring him to protest.
Dean scowled at her. He hated being treated like a petulant child who had been caught doing something naughty. Keeping his mouth firmly closed, he let her leave with no complaint. As soon as she was gone, he started brainstorming how to get down to see his brother. He could always just sneak out like normal, but he knew that she would catch him - she seemed like the kind of person that never let anything slip. He could do it the old fashioned way and pull the fire alarm. But then they would take Sam from his room. He kept thinking until finally he cooked up a decent plan.
He pressed the button for a nurse to come in and help him. Then he put on his best pained face and moaned, "My leg - it hurts. Oh, god, please! The painkillers aren't working."
The nurse was young and clearly inexperienced. She put her hands out in confusion and said, "Uh... What do you need?"
"The doctor. Please. I need to see him immediately!" he pleaded.
"Uh-uh," a voice said from the doorway, "This boy must be crazy. I know he didn't just try to fake being in pain to get his doctor here!" It was the mean nurse.
Dean, keeping up his facade, groaned, "No! I'm serious, please. Call him, I need help!"
The younger nurse escaped while Ms. I-Take-My-Job-Too-Seriously replied, "Mm-hmm. And I'm a fish. Boy, you better knock this crap off before I dose you up with another sedative."
Dean finally stopped and glared at her. "What is wrong with you? I just need to see my br - cousin!" He almost forgot to keep up his other lie.
"Oh, so now you're not just faking your pain, but lying about the fact that your cousin ain't your cousin. Yeah, that's it, I'm getting you another shot." She turned to leave.
"Wait!" he exclaimed. He sighed and grumbled, "I'll wait."
"What was that? I didn't hear you."
"I said, I'll wait!" he retorted. He was really beginning to hate this woman.
"Fine." She sashayed her hips out. Dean glowered at her retreating figure.
He looked at the clock on the wall. Eight fifty-five. At least it wasn't too much longer until Dr. Wilde would show up.
In the end, the doctor didn't show up for another hour and a half. Dean was steaming with frustration. The main reason his doctor came when he did was partly due to the shouting he could hear coming from Dean's room. Dr. Wilde came in cautiously and saw Dean arguing with Mrs. Tony, one of the nurses. "I wouldn't have to yell, if you would just tell the doctor I need to see him!" Dean saw him and exclaimed, "Finally!"
Dr. Wilde smiled gently and replied, "Yes, I'm here. Mrs. Tony, the man in room sixty-seven needs a snack, would mind grabbing him something?" The nurse walked out, giving Dean one last withering look. "Dean, you need to behave if you want to see your cousin again." Dean opened his mouth to say something again, but Dr. Wilde held up a finger and said, "I'm not going to prevent you from seeing him. I just don't want the nurses to only focus on restraining you rather than on their jobs. You understand me?" Dean nodded, looking slightly abashed, but still fuming. "Let me check your bandages and then we'll see about getting you down to Sam." Dean sat up while Dr. Wilde changed the wraps on his leg. "Looking good! It's healing quite nicely. I'm glad we got it cleaned as early as we did. There's no sign of infection." Dean didn't say anything, merely watching as the other man replaced the old wrap with a clean one. When Dr. Wilde finished, he said, "Well, I guess we better get you down to see Sam."
Dean nodded, feeling a small pit begin to form in his stomach. Sam would likely be awake when he went down. Now that Dean was actually faced with having to talk to his younger brother, he felt he might be sick. He didn't feel as angry, after all Sam had saved his life, but he had no idea how to handle his brother. Sam had lied to him - or at least covered up the fact that he was lame. Dean didn't know how to feel about that.
Dean was assisted into a wheelchair and taken out of his room. As he passed the nurse's station, he saw the awful black nurse - Mrs. Tony - giving him an evil stare and shaking her head. Dean resisted the urge to stick out his tongue at her. He didn't want to think about what he would see, so on their way down to see Sam, Dean tried flirting with the pretty nurse taking him. She didn't really catch on.
Before he knew it he was turning the corner to his brother's room. Even though he knew what to expect, he took in sharp breath when he saw his brother again. He wasn't quite so pale as before and his bed was angled slightly up so Sam could see in the door a bit better. Sam's eyes were staring at a TV screen, though Dean could tell he wasn't interested. As the nurse wheeled Dean closer, Sam turned and saw him. His brother's eyes widened, looking partly surprised, partly afraid. Dean had to look away, but could feel his brother watching him. When he reached the side of Sam's bed the nurse retreated. Dean looked everywhere else except his brother. He didn't want Sam to know how guilty he felt about what had happened. He felt slightly responsible for landing Sam in a hospital bed unable to get up or move.
They sat in silence for a minute when a sniffle from Sam broke the silence. Dean's head snapped up to see tears rolling down his little brother's face. "Why are you crying?" The question came out harsher than Dean intended. It reminded Dean of their father who viewed tears as a vulnerability and would have never allowed either of his sons to cry. The only time Sam had ever cried was in front of Dean and very rarely even then, not wanting to be seen as weak.
The tears immediately ceased. Sam winced in pain as he lifted a bandaged hand and tried to wipe away them away. Dean quickly grabbed a tissue and dabbed at his cheeks for him. "I'm sorry." Sam stated quietly.
"For what?" Dean replied a bit softer this time. He couldn't imagine what his brother would be apologizing for other than something that wasn't his fault.
"That you're, you know, hurt." Sam was the one avoiding eye contact now.
Dean sighed. His predictions were right. "It's not your fault, Sam," he insisted. "You saved my life. You saved me, even though you could have died." Dean waited for Sam to look at him. "Thank you." Sam nodded jerkily, looking away again. Dean shifted as much as he dared without hurting himself then said, "So, uh, is there something you wanna tell me about?"
Sam blanched and his eyes filled with fear. Dean could hear the monitor next to him start beeping louder and faster. "They told you," Sam whispered. It didn't sound like a question.
"Yes, they told me about your leg. It's okay though, just take some deep breaths, okay? They won't let me stay if you panic." Dean coached Sam through some deep breathing. When the monitors calmed down, he continued, "They told me you have nerve damage in your leg. They told me it isn't from this trip. That you had it before we went hunting."
Sam looked at his hands fiddling with the blanket over him. "Yes." Sam didn't offer any more information, but that wasn't enough for Dean.
"Well, can you tell me what happened?" Dean pressed. He could feel a little impatience begin to rise up in him. At the same time, though, Dean felt bad for his brother - if he were crippled... well, he'd probably have killed himself. Dean shoved the thought away before it went any farther.
Sam squeezed his eyes closed. "Dean, please. I really don't want to talk about it," he whispered.
Rage finally overtook Dean and he threw his hands up in the air. Dean wished he could stand up because he wanted to pace, but he knew his injured leg couldn't take his weight at the moment. "Then what was the point? Huh? After eleven years - over a decade, Sam - you want to start talking again, but now you don't want to? Why did you really call me?" He knew he was being harsh, but his temper was currently out of his control.
Sam flinched at the final statement and eventually managed to say, "You think I'm - trying to get something from you?" Dean didn't say anything, just shrugged. "Dean, I'm not. I - just... I can't talk about it yet."
That was the last straw for Dean. He hit the button for a nurse and said, "Well, next time you need to talk, don't bother calling me. I won't answer."
Sam shook his head. "You can't mean that, Dean. I need you. Please, don't go."
But Dean wasn't looking at him anymore. Dean stopped listening to his brother's pleas for forgiveness. As Sam's heart rate started going up, three nurses came in, one to take Dean away and the others tried calming him down. Dean could hear his brother shouting for him as the nurse took him away. Dean never looked back.
A/N: Alrighty and we're basically back to square one. Yay. I hope this is going how you want and that you're enjoying my story so far. I personally think my writing is pretty awful. It sounds much better in my head. Let me know what you think! I want to hear from every single one of my readers. Do you like it? Hate it? Tell me with kind words and I will do my best to respond and change stuff likewise. Thank you so much for taking time to read/look at my story! I appreciate all the reviews so far and the support and love from you guys. Keep it up! And again, truly sorry for the length between the updates!