Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural

Warning: NOT A HAPPY STORY.

A/N: The lines mean either time change or POV change. THIS IS AN ESPECIALLY GRAPHIC CHAPTER.

Sam's POV

I'm a monster. Sam looked around at the dead bodies in horror. They were laying there because of him.

He stared into Ava's eyes, now pouring with blood. He could feel himself twisting his hand in the air and grinning as she bled from all of her orifices. Lily's severed head rested between Ava's right arm and torso. Sam remembered using a thin wire and pulling with inhuman strength until her head came clean off. Andy's head faced behind him and Sam could still recall the snap of the bone and spinal cord under his palm. Jake had a stake pierced through his chest…. Sam couldn't stop smiling.

That was what scared him most: he didn't care. He liked it.. His heart raced with a perverted sense of satisfaction and excitement. He wanted more.

See? A voice whispered in his head. I told you it would be worth it. I knew you would enjoy it.

No! Sam cried out to the demonic presence. That's not me.

Laughter bubbled from his chest despite his will to contain it. It is now. The voice caressed his mind like a silky, slimy finger. You may as well enjoy it. There's nothing left for you. Your brother and dad already hates you, Jess is dead, what more do you have to live for? Just relax….

Sam let himself fall into the encroaching blackness, thinking it would be a reprieve from the torment of his mind. He didn't realize he was giving into the evil….

Dean's POV

"My brother's a monster."

"No!" Bobby barked at Dean, disbelief written on his face. "Have you met your brother? He's the most sensitive hunter I've ever met. He ran away to escape all the killing he'd done. You know the nightmares he has after every hunt. And they've only gotten worse! You have no idea what that boy is going through." Bobby's face was red by the end of his tirade.

"And you do?" Dean asked.

The blood drained from Bobby's face when he realized what he'd said. "I can imagine." It came out as more of a question.

"Bobby," Dean growled, "what do you know? What nightmares are you talking about? How do you know about them at all?"

Missouri watched the interaction closely, but said nothing.

Bobby's shoulders sagged forward as he relented, "Sam has called me a few times. Once after he got to Stanford. Before he married Jessica. And about a month and a half ago… two weeks before Jess died to be exact."

When no more information was forthcoming Dean prompted him, "What did he tell you the last time he called?"

Bobby took his cap off and scratched his head. "He told me he was having nightmares. Nightmares where Jess was burning on the ceiling like your mom did."

Bobby's voice lowered. "I told him not to worry about it… that they were nothing but nightmares. Then I got the news a few days after his wife died that he was being put in a psychiatric ward. I was one of the reasons he wasn't there longer. I was hoping he might come to stay with me, but I never heard from him. When you called saying there was a problem with Sam I knew that you'd need help. Sam… he's changed. And he regretted what he said as soon as he got off the phone with you, Dean, back when he got to Stanford. He wanted to talk to you, but he knew that if he did he'd want to go back to hunting. He just wanted to be happy, is that really such a crime? He never meant to hurt you."

Dean put his head in his hands. Everything he thought he knew, everything he felt was being upturned and he didn't know what to believe anymore. Happy. He tried to picture himself in his brother's place and think of what he'd have done. In no scenario did he think he would ever ditch his family. "He left us," Dean ground out through gritted teeth. "He left us for 11 years and didn't even have the balls to tell his family he was getting married. He's pretended all these years that he didn't know about what goes bump in the night. No. What he did was selfish. He never should have abandoned his family. John raised us better than that. I raised him better than that."

Bobby rolled his eyes. "Are you really gonna keep holding that against him? That kid has enough weight on his shoulders. Are you seriously gonna pile on more?"

"He left Bobby!" Dean shouted, his face contorted with rage. "He didn't want help, he wanted a way out! It's not my fault that he got dragged back in. He deserves what he's getting!" Dean pushed the chair back and walked to his bag to pack his belongings.

"Dean, what in the hell do you think you're doing?" Bobby yelled back.

"I'm gonna take care of this."

Bobby marched over to Dean and punched him in the face. "I can't let you do this Dean."

Dean gave Bobby a stony glare, devoid of any regret. "It's not your problem, Bobby. Go home." He pushed past the older hunter and walked out, slamming the door behind him. He slid into the Impala and drove away without a second glance. He didn't know where Sam was, but if there was one thing he was good at it was tracking monsters.

Dean felt the fire ignite in his chest once more. The same flame that spurred him forward and made him a better hunter all these years. And it told him what he needed to do about Sam.

A/N: Deep breath people. This is the chapter that needs the most expanding. I will give context to how Sam ended up killing everyone later once it's written. I haven't gotten to that part yet. Just please be patient with me while the story gets pulled together. The next chapter will be 1 - ONLY ONE - of the endings I plan to write. I have to admit, it's pretty heartbreaking though. There is a lot of time between this chapter and the next that I need to write still though... I haven't abandoned this story yet and I don't plan to now! So bear with me as I finish wrapping this whole thing up. Thank you for reading! And please review so I know what you guys do and don't want to see!