7
August 14, 1999
"Hermione, we're going to be late!" she heard Harry yell from downstairs. She glanced at the clock beside her bed and breathed in deeply to try and calm her nerves when she saw that she only had five minutes before they were supposed to arrive for orientation.
She had spent the day in a panic, filled with trepidation about the upcoming meeting, so she tried to calm her nerves using some of the techniques Alys taught her at their previous meeting. She sat on the floor trying to focus on all the smells and sounds in her room to "ground" her, as Alys had put it, but after what felt like hours, the clock read only twenty minutes from when she sat down.
She went for a walk around Grimmauld but felt even more anxious once she made it back home.
She tried lying in bed and taking deep breaths but gave up after only a few moments out of sheer boredom.
Finally, after nothing else seemed to work, she gave up and brewed her own Draught of Peace. Thankfully, actually preparing the arduous potion served the same purpose as taking it, so by the time she downed the turquoise concoction, she already felt slightly better.
The draught helped to alleviate her roiling stomach and sweaty palms, but she couldn't seem to keep her mind from wandering. She wasn't able to decide what was more worrisome, who she was to meet later at the introduction or what they'd think of the "Golden Girl" being crazy.
When Ginny found her feverishly rearranging all the dishes, Hermione told her of these concerns, and Ginny stopped her short by saying, "Everyone will be there for the same reason as you. Do you really think they'll be judging you any more than they're judging themselves?"
Of course, Ginny was right. Knowing that didn't stop her from panicking about it for the rest of the day.
Just as she heard Ron say, "Do you think they'll have snacks?" she stood from her desk and headed downstairs.
She met them in the foyer and asked, "Do I look like I've spent the last four hours in a panic?"
Harry turned toward her to speak just as Ron said, "It's not too late to back out, you know."
Harry gave him a stern look, then turned back to Hermione and said, "You look fine." He placed his hands on her shoulders, and, looking at her intently, added, "You can do this, 'Mi. You've beaten worse."
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Pulling the marble Alys gave her from her pocket, she made sure to keep the blue handkerchief wrapped tightly around it so that the Portkey itself didn't touch her skin. She placed it on the table in front of them and allowed the handkerchief to roll away, exposing the small silver orb. She extended her hands to either side of her and waited for Ron and Harry to each take one. When they did, Harry asked, "You ready?" After she nodded toward him, he touched the marble with his free hand, and Hermione felt the familiar pull of a portkey behind her navel.
They came to a stop in between a large, expansive black lake and the cream-colored mansion Hermione recognized from the brochure. Seeing the vast property in photographs was one thing but standing surrounded by forest on three sides, Hermione felt even more intimidated. Harry, always a step ahead of her emotions, seemed to know this already, so he never let go of her hand. Daunting as it was, she couldn't help but stand in awe of the beauty of the lake and the manor nestled between the trees.
She had only a moment to take in the view before Alys walked out of one of the glass doors from the main building in front of them, her black braids wound into a tight bun at the nape of her neck.
"Welcome. It's a pleasure to finally meet you," she said, as she shook both Harry's and Ron's hands in turn. "I'm Alys Morgan. Come on inside."
They followed her toward the building, and Alys said, "You three are the last to arrive." When Hermione began to apologize, Alys stopped her, saying with a smile, "It's fine. We aren't planning to start for another half hour or so. We're allowing everyone to mingle and explore first."
She led them through the door, and Hermione saw the same teal and brown dining room from the photos. "You'll find refreshments here in the dining hall, and you can join the other guests in the common room just through there." She pointed toward a set of double doors leading out of the dining hall. Alys continued walking through the room and turned to Hermione just before exiting through the doors leading into the common room. "Take your time. We all understand this requires a bit of fortitude." She gave Hermione another encouraging smile, then left the room. The sound of her heels clicking across the hardwood continued long after she disappeared from view.
Hermione turned to Harry and Ron, about to say that she wasn't hungry, so they could move on, but she couldn't help but grin to see both boys piling croissants onto their own small plates. When she quirked an eyebrow at them, Harry only shrugged, but Ron said, through a mouthful of food, "Wha'? I mid lun'."
As she strolled through the dining room and waited on the boys to finish their snacks, she tried to calm her racing mind by admiring the artwork throughout the room. A large impressionist painting over the fireplace showed a woman walking through a field of flowers, her long blue dress flowing in the wind and a parasol shading her from the bright sun. The woman, like most other works of art throughout the wizarding world, was moving throughout the frame, talking and laughing with another woman seated in the background. There was something strangely calming about watching the breeze flutter through the violet flowers in the trees and the shades of orange rippling in the field.
From behind her, Hermione heard a dreamy voice say, "There's something so tranquil about Monet, don't you think? I'm sure that's why they chose his work for this room."
Hermione turned to see Luna's familiar wistful smirk as she looked up to admire the painting as well.
"Luna! I didn't know you would be here!" She pulled her friend into a hug and felt some of the anxiety she had been feeling abate, as she typically did when Luna was in her presence. Something about her pensive nature had always been somewhat sedating, working to counter the constant neurosis in Hermione's mind.
Luna returned the hug, and said, "Yes. I'm here quite often actually."
Ron and Harry noticed Luna's presence as well and joined them by the fireplace.
After they each hugged her as well, Harry said, "I didn't realize you were back from Romania."
"I got back about a month ago. I've been here ever since, helping Susan and Alys get everything in order."
"Are you working here now then?" Hermione asked.
"No, not really. I'm still working with vampires," Luna replied, looking at Hermione as if that completely answered the question.
"Are you staying here as a patient?" Ron asked between bites of his croissant.
"No. I was helping decorate. I have gone through therapy though. That's how Susan and I became reacquainted."
As if this had summoned her somehow, Susan came into the room, smiling to see her former classmates.
"I was wondering where you had gone," she said to Luna, as she took her hand.
"I found Hermione admiring your choice of artwork, and I wanted to say hello," Luna responded.
Hermione glanced over to see Ron staring back and forth between Luna and Susan and flickering down to their clasped hands, eyes wide with astonishment.
"Oh, do you like Monet? He's one of my favorite artists. I find his work so …"
"Tranquil," Hermione and Luna said simultaneously.
Susan laughed, "Exactly."
"How did you get his work altered to move? I thought it had to be painted magically for that to happen?" Hermione asked, turning back to look at the woman in the painting, now facing toward them.
"Oh, this one was painted magically." When Hermione looked confused, she added, "Monet was a wizard. He painted quite a lot in the wizarding world before making a name for himself as a Muggle artist."
"I had no idea," Hermione said, amazed. Despite the number of years she had spent in the Wizarding World, Hermione loved the fact that there was still so much left to discover. She felt a small spark of intrigue, a feeling she used to value so much but hadn't felt in far too long.
"No, most people don't. We acquired all of this artwork from one of our major donors, actually. All the work in this room," Susan said, gesturing toward the remaining works throughout the dining room, "came from a single family's vault actually."
"Wow. That was generous," Hermione mused.
"Yes, donations have quite literally built this place to be honest. Hopefully, we won't need any more after the program gets off the ground."
"I'm sure the Ministry will be on board," Luna said. "Everything will work out in the end either way."
"You're right, love," Susan said, giving Luna a sweet smile. Turning back toward the others, she said, "Are you all ready to see the main common room?"
Hermione, feeling much better knowing she at least knew and trusted one other person present, nodded.
Susan and Luna turned to leave the room, followed by Harry, Ron, and Hermione.
When they were just out of earshot, Ron said, "Luna and Susan, huh? Didn't see that one coming."
"Me either," Harry added.
"They do seem to fit though," Hermione said, indicating the way Luna and Susan were talking and smiling at one another.
Just then, they rounded a corner and found themselves in a large common room filled with oversized brown armchairs and a fireplace on each end.
Just as they entered, they heard, "Well hell, look who's here." All three of them turned to find Seamus, Dean, and Parvati sitting in a group of chairs to one side of the room.
They walked over to greet them, and Ron leaned in to clap Dean on the back. They stood and caught up for a minute, Seamus and Parvati indicating that they were staying as guests.
"Me too," Hermione said, taking a sudden interest in her drink to hopefully hide the crimson rising in her cheeks.
"Really?" Seamus asked, with a chuff. "That's surprising."
Hermione looked up, but before she could say anything, Ron asked, "What do you mean by that?"
"Just didn't imagine any of the Golden Trio being damaged enough to be here." He didn't add air quotes, but using their superfluous moniker was obviously an insult.
"The hell's that supposed to mean?" Ron said.
Seamus scoffed and finished his drink. "Nothing, mate. Not a thing." Then he walked away without another word.
"What's that about?" Harry asked, nodding toward Seamus.
Dean sighed and glanced at Parvati. "Don't take it personal, Hermione. He's been drinking, and he's just… mad at the world." He picked Seamus's glass off the table beside them, and said, "I'm going to go check on him."
As they walked away, Hermione thought once again that this all was a mistake. Everyone told her that she wasn't going to be judged, but if Seamus, someone she had thought to be a friend, was already belittling her, then this would be hell once the Slytherins showed up.
"I'm sorry, Hermione." Parvati said. "I don't know what his deal is."
Ron said angrily, "I do." Glancing over his shoulder toward the direction Seamus and Dean left in, he said, "He's pissed about 8th year. He and I had words at a pub a few months ago, and I brought it up to Ginny. Apparently, he thinks we were out gallivanting through the forest while you lot were being tortured."
Parvati confirmed this by not meeting their gaze.
After a minute of awkward silence, Harry almost shouted, "That's ridiculous. We were out there starving and –"
"Of course, it's ridiculous, Harry," Parvati said. "Nobody truly thinks that. I think Seamus just has to have someone to hate. All the Death Eaters are gone…"
She didn't finish the thought, but Hermione finally spoke up, saying what they were all thinking, "So, what? He's just going to hate us instead?"
Parvati shrugged apologetically.
"This is a mistake," Hermione said, starting to walk away.
Harry gently took her arm and said, "Don't do that, 'Mi. Don't let anyone take this away from you."
How can I stay, she thought. This was going to be even more difficult than she thought.
"Harry's right," Ron added. "We already talked about this. You knew it was going to be hard. That was just…"
"Unexpected," Hermione finished, solemnly. She took a deep breath, feeling her heart beginning to race, and tried to rein her emotions back in. "I just need a minute. I'm going to go find the bathroom."
She barely made it through the door before she sat down roughly on the floor, trying desperately to stop the familiar tightening in her chest.
She could feel her fingers beginning to tingle, and the thought of another magical explosion made her hyperventilate even more.
She felt hands beside her, causing her to jump.
A beautiful woman with long brown hair was kneeling beside her, a look of apprehension and compassion on her face. "Are you okay?"
"I'm…. I'm…." Hermione couldn't get the words out.
"Just take a deep breath. Focus on that." The woman began breathing in deeply, indicating for Hermione to follow along.
Hermione wiped the tears from her eyes and began breathing alongside the stranger.
"Good. Good. Keep going," she said, never taking her eyes off Hermione's.
After a few more deep breaths, Hermione felt the pain in her chest beginning to weaken. She dropped her head into her hands and sobbed.
The woman rearranged so that she could sit more comfortably beside her. Wrapping an arm around Hermione's shoulders, she began humming a song.
The song seemed vaguely familiar, but more than attempting to recognize the tune, Hermione took comfort in just feeling comforted by someone. She supposed she should feel humiliated, crying into the arms of a complete stranger, but instead, she felt… safe.
Despite not knowing this woman at all, the warmth of her arms, the sound of her humming the calming melody, and the floral smell of her perfume gave Hermione a feeling of complete security.
After a moment, Hermione leaned back, causing the woman's humming to cease.
"I'm sorry, this is going to sound incredibly strange, but are you wearing Estee Lauder?" Hermione asked, wiping her eyes, and looking up at the woman.
The stranger smiled sweetly and answered, "Yes, Beautiful actually. I didn't realize it was so recognizable." Shaking her head curiously, she asked, "Why do you ask?"
Hermione closed her eyes briefly, trying to assuage the threat of overflowing emotions again, and said, "My mother. She wore that my entire life. I would recognize it anywhere."
Hermione stood, straightening her clothes with a flick of her wand. "I'm… I'm so sorry."
The woman stood as well, cleaning the tears from the front of her white silk blouse in a similar fashion. "It's fine, dear. I've raised two daughters your age. I've seen my fair share of tears. Besides," she said, turning her motherly green eyes toward Hermione, "Dickens wrote, 'It opens the lungs, exercises the eyes, and softens the temper, so-"
"Cry away," Hermione finished.
"Cry away," the woman said with a smile. Extending her hand toward Hermione, she said, "I'm Nicola Greengrass."
Hermione took her hand, shaking it and saying, "Hermione Granger. Greengrass?"
"Yes, you attended school with my daughters, Astoria and Daphne."
Slytherin, was Hermione's first thought. Then, she immediately felt ashamed of herself for going there.
"They were Slytherins though," Mrs. Greengrass said.
"Yes, I remember them vaguely. Are they here with you?" Hermione asked.
Hermione saw something in her eyes then, a momentary glimpse of pain.
"No, it's just me," she said, with a strained smile.
They stood in silence for a moment, then Hermione said, "I've got to be going. I'm sure my friends are looking for me. But… thank you so much. For your help, I mean. I…" She couldn't quite find the words to express her gratitude. Most people would have been extremely uncomfortable holding a stranger while they cried, but Mrs. Greengrass didn't hesitate for a moment to sit on the bathroom floor and hold her like a mother would.
Mrs. Greengrass seemed to understand Hermione's hesitance. She took her by the hand and said, "You're welcome. I've cried on the bathroom floor by myself as well, dear. I would've been grateful for someone to be there for me."
Before Hermione could think of a way to respond to that, she added, "Here, let me clean you up." With a flourish of her wand, Hermione felt her cheeks grow warm momentarily, and looking in the mirror, she noticed the redness from her cheeks was gone and her eyes no longer appeared puffy and glazed.
"Thank you," Hermione said, feeling a warmness growing in her chest at the acts of kindness Mrs. Greengrass continued to bestow upon her.
"It's nothing," she said, with a sweet smile. "Come on, let's get out of this bathroom."
As they left the bathroom, Hermione watched as Mrs. Greengrass walked toward Alys and Susan in one corner of the room. Not paying attention where she was walking, Hermione walked headfirst into someone.
Catching herself on the back of an armchair to keep from hitting the ground, she looked up to see the dark brown eyes of Pansy Parkinson staring at her in disdain.
"I know you think the rest of us mere peasants are beneath you, but surely it isn't too much to ask of the Queen of Gryffindor to at least watch where you're going," she said, with her characteristic sting.
"I'm certain it isn't me who believes myself to be a cut above the rest, Pansy. You'd know more than anyone else what that feels like," Hermione responded, icily, amazed at her own ability to pull an insult out of nowhere after what felt like years of suppressed emotions.
Pansy smiled nastily. "Well perhaps we both think quite highly of ourselves. Unfortunately, only one of us is right."
Before Hermione could respond, she heard a voice from her left say, "Ladies, surely we've all grown past the schoolyard insults."
Hermione turned to see Blaise Zabini walking toward them, straightening the cuffs of his black suit. Stopping beside them, he turned to Hermione and said, "Miss Granger, it's wonderful to see you. You're looking lovely as ever."
Hermione was taken aback. She couldn't remember ever speaking more than a couple words to Blaise over their entire time at Hogwarts together, yet he was talking to her as if they were old friends. He always was attractive, his dark skin and eyes setting him apart from most of the others at Hogwarts, but in the year since Hermione had last briefly seen him, he seemed taller and more muscular than he had been as a student.
He extended his hand, taking Hermione's in his own and bending to brush his lips across her knuckles.
Hermione could almost hear Pansy's eyes roll. "Good God, Blaise. Can you even try to keep it in your pants?"
"What? Are you jealous, Pans?," he asked, eyeing her dramatically. "I've told you, you terrify me, and I mean that in the nicest way possible," he added, with a large, charismatic smile.
Pansy deadpanned, "You disgust me," then walked away muttering about the lack of alcohol.
Turning back toward Blaise, Hermione said, "Well the war certainly made her much more pleasant to be around."
Blaise's smile faltered, and Hermione felt that she had overstepped. "I'm –"
"I think being able to be the same person she's always been is an accomplishment in itself, given what she's been through." He was no longer smiling, but he wasn't being altogether unfriendly.
"No, you're right." Hermione took a calming breath for what felt like the hundredth time that night. The calming draught she took earlier was long gone, and her nerves were still shot from her episode in the bathroom. "That was unfair. I can't begin to imagine 'what she's been through,' but she did try to hand Harry over to Voldemort, after all."
"Yes, well, despite our presumed standing as Death Eaters-to-be by the majority of Hogwarts, including the staff, we were being hunted and abused the same as everyone else. She had her reasons, and she's paid for that event a dozen times over. I thought you'd be more magnanimous than to assume you knew all the details," he said, matter-of-factly.
She didn't know how to respond, so she simply blinked at him.
"I'm sorry, Granger, it seems I've caught you off guard. Do forgive me, I have no filter whatsoever." He smirked flirtatiously, and said, "War taught me that life is far too short to censor one's thoughts, wouldn't you agree?"
Slytherins, Hermione found herself thinking for the second time in less than an hour. They're so weird. It was both appalling and refreshing that he seemed to speak his thoughts exactly, without fear of repercussion or embarrassment.
"I… Yes, you're right. I shouldn't have said that about Pansy. That was presumptuous of me. She's obviously here for the same reason as everyone else, and –"
"Here? You think I'm staying here?" Pansy had reappeared beside them, catching Hermione off guard. She was looking at Hermione haughtily, clearly pleased with Hermione's embarrassment.
Shit. Where the hell are Ron and Harry?
Hermione felt her cheeks growing warmer. "I just assumed, since you're here, that you're here to be treated."
"No, I am not." Pansy said, offering no further explanation.
Hermione looked at Blaise, and said, "Oh, well, I didn't mean any offense. I'm…" She lifted her head, trying desperately to feign a countenance of equanimity despite her more obvious desire to run and hide. "I'm being treated here."
Hermione expected Pansy to say something cutting about Hermione's instability or to call her crazy. Instead, she simply looked at her, giving nothing away about what she was thinking.
Blaise tilted his head to one side and said, "Hmm, that's interesting. I would've assumed Potter." Once again, his candor was neither rude nor malicious. When he saw Hermione look at him quizzically, he added, "No offense, of course. I think it's beautiful and courageous to seek help, but he's been to hell and back, quite literally if the stories are true. I just assumed if anyone was a nutter, it'd be him."
"And I assume you're the 'nutter' then? Or, are you two just here to mock the rest of us?" Hermione asked, a little more rudely than she intended. She wasn't sure if her instant anger was from his assumption that Harry was loony or in his insinuation that she was a 'nutter.'
"Wow. Someone alert a professor. Hermione Granger, Smartest Witch of Our Year, wrong twice in one evening. This must be some sort of phenomenon," Pansy said, her bobbed locks sweeping over her shoulder as she tilted her head and grinned at Hermione sardonically.
Why am I even still standing here? She couldn't think of a way to walk away and retain what shred of dignity she had remaining, so she simply stared back at Pansy's irritating smirk, fighting the urge to succumb to her baser instincts and knock her teeth down her throat. For a split second, she could almost hear the satisfying sound her knuckles would make as they collided with Pansy's red stained lips.
Blaise, presumably feeling the tension, said, "We're here for, what did they call it, Pans? Moral support?"
Hermione started to question this, but then she heard a familiar aristocratic drawl from behind her say, "I think we're about to get started." Turning around sharply, she found herself staring up at the pale face of Draco Malfoy. His hair was a little longer now and no longer slicked back like when they were younger, and his skin was even pastier than she remembered, pallid even, with heavy dark circles under his slate gray eyes. But the voice, the voice was the same. Hearing it now was like nails on a chalkboard, immediately filling her with unease.
He seemed to have just noticed her standing there, his eyes quickly looking her over making her second guess her black blazer and muggle jeans.
"Granger," he said, with a nod.
Granger? That's it?
Hermione only blinked in surprise.
They were staring at each other, an uncomfortable silence filling the air.
"What?" he asked, looking to Blaise for guidance. "Is there something on my face?"
"No, mate," Blaise said, shrugging.
They looked at Hermione expectantly. Thankfully Pansy seemed to have disappeared.
"Why are you looking at me like that?"
"Is that it? Just 'Granger'?'" she asked him.
He narrowed his eyes at her. "Were you expecting something else?"
"Well, yes. An insult of some sort."
If she had been expecting any visual reaction from this, she would've been disappointed. Outside of a momentary flicker of something in his eyes, his face showed no emotion whatsoever as he said, "People change, Granger. Sorry to disappoint you." Then he walked away, Blaise shooting her a salute as he followed behind.
She stood there, stone still. Well, that was bizarre.
It was the first time she had seen him since testifying at his trial. Even then, they never made eye contact. She sat on the stand, answering the questions Kinglsey directed at her, trying not to fidget under the gaze of the entire Wizengamot, while Draco stared off into the corner of the room, completely still save the occasional rolling of the muscles in his jaw as he clenched his teeth in what Hermione thought was annoyance.
"What the hell? Is that Malfoy? I thought he was still in Azkaban," she heard Ron say to her right, pulling her from her stupor.
She turned to face him and saw both he and Harry staring at Draco and Blaise as they took a pair of seats in the corner of the room.
"I thought so too," Harry said. "I haven't heard his name mentioned in a while throughout the department though. What did he say to you, Hermione?"
"Um, nothing really. It was actually quite strange. All he said was, 'Granger.' Nothing demeaning at all."
"Hmm… Reckon he's been lobotomized?" Ron muttered hopefully.
Before she could respond, Susan spoke from the front of the room. "It looks like everyone is here and getting acquainted. If you could take your seats, we'll go ahead and get started."
The three walked toward a group of chairs encircling a table toward the front of the room.
As they sat down, she looked around to see who else was there that she may have missed so far. Seamus, Dean, and Parvati were sitting at another table on the other side of the room, and Luna was sitting at a table to herself to their left. Dennis Creevey was sharing a table behind them with Nicola Greengrass who smiled and nodded at Hermione. When Blaise saw her looking around, he winked, and Pansy slapped him on the back of the head as she took her seat between him and Draco.
She heard Susan speaking and realized she hadn't been paying attention when Harry elbowed her gently and nodded his head toward the front of the room.
"There really isn't anything too pertinent to add here tonight to be honest. Most of you are fully aware of the program. This was more designed as an opportunity for all of you to meet one another, or in most cases, to become reacquainted. You will all be living alongside one another for twelve weeks, seeing one another at your best and worst, most likely. Many of our treatment methods are designed to both challenge you and give you an opportunity to face your fears and your trauma. It will not be easy. But the counselors here as well as all the others you see in this room will be your biggest allies."
Susan stopped speaking when Seamus gave a loud snort from the front of the room. Everyone turned in his direction to see Parvati elbow him in the ribs, but he continued unfazed. "Biggest allies? Pretty sure there are people in this room fighting on the other side of war. I'd call those enemies, wouldn't you, Suz?"
Susan shifted uncomfortably. "No, Seamus. No one is fighting any longer. There are no longer enemies, not to mention no one in this room fought against you at all."
"Oh yeah? I didn't realize letting Death Eaters into Hogwarts and trying to kill Dumbledore was the same as being on our side."
Dean was trying to get Seamus to calm down, his arm across Seamus's chest forcing him to remain seated, but Seamus continued to glare at Susan.
Then, Pansy yelled, "Why all the ambiguity, Finnigan? If you have someone to call out at least have the balls to confront it head on instead of hiding behind your boyfriend."
Hermione turned to see Draco lay his hand across Pansy's and shake his head for her to stop.
"No, no. If you're going to stay here, then these people need to know what you –"
"Pansy, enough," Draco said, with a controlled anger that Hermione had never heard him use. She was used to his sneering, his sniveling whines about being wronged for something or another, and his feigned superiority, but this sounded more suited for Lucius. Pansy stopped talking at once, but she glared at him. Draco's jaw clenched just like in the courtroom.
Blaise whispered something to Draco who only shook his head and turned back to face the front of the room. Hermione turned back as well to see that Seamus had been frozen in place, a look of pure rage on his face and his wand outstretched toward the Slytherins in the back of the room. In front of him stood a man Hermione had never seen before, with shoulder-length salt-and-pepper hair and a short-cropped beard. His glasses sat low on his nose as he looked over them with his wand fixed on Seamus, freezing him.
He said, "This is one of the very few times in which magic will be used here. Honestly, I'm only doing this now because I knew it was inevitable. You have all fought in a war that you absolutely shouldn't have. Every one of you. Some of you had a choice in that war. Others did not or at least their choice was a bit less black and white.
"That being said, no one in this room is being forced to participate. You are all free to leave at any time. As Healer Bones was saying, we will all be working as a team here, strengthening one another to help everyone overcome what they've been faced with. You are free to question and challenge one another, but you will do so with grace, understanding, and respect. Mr. Finnigan, I'm going to release you now, and if I'm forced to intervene again, you will be escorted from the building. Finite Incantatem."
He dropped his wand and Seamus instantly relaxed from the curse being lifted. He sharply tilted his head to one side, popping his neck and rolling his shoulders back, his eyes never leaving the trio of Slytherins in the back of the room, as he retook his seat. When Parvati tried to place her hand on his shoulder, he shrugged it away and shifted his glare toward the front of the room.
The man straightened his shirt front and walked to the front of the room to stand beside Susan. He removed his glasses from his nose, allowing them to hang on a string hung around his neck. "I'm Walter Whitby, the program director here at The Willows, but you all can call me Walt. I might as well do my little introduction now as I'm already here. I'm a doctor in the Muggle world, and I've worked for years as a psychiatrist, but my focus now is primarily behavioral psychology. I'm also a mental healer, one of the very first in the field to be exact, or at least to be recognized as such. I've worked extensively on memory and cognitive repair following serious brain trauma, but now, along with my colleagues here, I'm trying to revolutionize the wizarding world's antiquated and downright deplorable view of mental health treatment. I'm hoping that all of you will assist in that, by candidly participating in the program and also remaining open-minded both with one another and with our treatment methods."
He stopped momentarily and looked around. "Are there any questions from any of you? About myself, the program, anything, really."
The room remained silent for a moment, then Seamus said, much calmer but entirely laced with sarcasm, "Well, I'll ask this as respectfully as possible. Can we address the snakes in the back of the room then?"
"Yes, you may. Everyone has the same right to be here as you do, Mr. Finnigan. I understand your reservations and even anger toward others who you perceive to be your enemy. However, the only true enemy was Lord Voldemort."
Still, over a year after the fall of Voldemort and his Death Eaters, half the room cringed at the sound of his name.
"As he is gone, I believe that it is the job of those of us in the wizarding world to push forward and to learn to reunite with one another. We can't do that if we continue to force battle lines between us long after the war is over. There is no more reason to fear –"
"I'm not afraid! I'm pissed off! There's a difference!" Seamus interjected.
"Of course there is," Walt said with an understanding smile.
Before Seamus could respond, Parvati said, "We're all fucked up, Seamus, or we wouldn't be here. What makes any of them any different?"
Seamus apparently had no response to that. Though still clearly seething, he only stared at the floor in silence.
"Are there any other questions?" Walt asked. He looked around the room expectantly.
Dennis cleared his throat and spoke for the first time since the meeting began. "So, it said there were activities we had to take part in. I'm assuming that's in addition to whatever therapy stuff we're doing. So, what kind of activities?"
Walt smiled excitedly. "Yes, that's a wonderful question. So, as the previous situation showed, there is quite a bit of tension within the group. Obviously, we don't expect all of that to evaporate overnight. We'll be doing the therapy sessions as planned, but Alys here had a wonderful idea to boost everyone's camaraderie a bit."
He indicated toward Alys, as she stood from her chair and joined him. "We'll be doing lots of fun things designed to build one another up and help everyone to feel as if they're part of a team. All of these things are Muggle activities, so just like most of the program, we'll be doing it without magic." She began shuffling through her paperwork on a clipboard she was holding and added, "Umm, rock climbing, camping, an amusement park, a drive-in, and … kara-oak?" She looked over at Walt who chuckled at her mispronunciation.
"Karaoke." He turned toward the group and added, "It's singing."
"Yes, that," Alys said with a laugh. "It looked pretty hilarious actually. Anyway, the idea is to help everyone loosen up and have some fun after the stress of being here, therapy, and just living really, and also to get you all out of your comfort zone a bit."
She looked over the group of participants, none of which visibly shared her enthusiasm at the idea of forced team-building exercises.
"It'll be fun, you'll see," she added with a smirk.
I highly doubt that.
Once Alys had returned to her seat, Susan stood up and said, "We've really gone over our therapy plan with most of you, but just to reiterate, we'll be doing group and private therapy sessions. As Walt said, magic is mostly unused here, and we'll be using magic suppression potions daily as well to -"
"Suppression? As in a potion? I thought we were just signing a waiver or something. I didn't realize you were legitimately taking our magic away!" Parvati said, her eyes wide, looking between the three in charge.
"Yes, that's been a recent development actually," Susan continued. "This is merely a precaution to ensure that we don't have any mishaps or interference with treatment. A few individuals here have shown accidental outbursts of magic when under extreme stress. This can be a danger not only to the one having the magical outburst but to everyone else as well. This is going to be a stressful environment, at least at times, so we want to make sure that everyone is able to heal properly while also ensuring the safety of everyone here."
Hermione felt her face grow hot. A few individuals? Hopefully that wasn't Susan's way of drawing attention off a single person and there actually were other people here going through the same thing as her. But, if that were the case, what made some of them more unstable than others?
Susan quickly added, "But we are planning to allow magic once a week so that everyone can maintain that part of themselves. Twelve weeks without magic entirely could become a bit problematic, though we don't believe that will be an issue as everyone here is an experienced witch or wizard, unlike children pre-wand who have no control of their magic at all. Also, there are a few activities here that will require a wand, so you won't be entirely magic-free for the full 12 weeks."
Well that's encouraging. The thought of going twelve weeks without magic had weighed heavily on Hermione's mind since the very beginning. So, now, learning that that wasn't entirely the case, she felt slightly better about the entire ordeal.
Susan looked around, and when no one spoke up, she looked toward Alys and Walt. "Unless either of you have anything to add, that's all I have really." Both Alys and Walt stood, shaking their heads.
Susan turned back toward the audience and said, "Does anyone else have anything?" No one spoke, so she added, "Alright then. You're all free to leave or stay and mingle or continue looking over the facility if you'd prefer. There are sheets here to take with you with information on what to bring with you, what to leave at home, that sort of thing, as well as a basic itinerary for the program. And if you think of any questions, I'll be here for a bit as well."
Everyone stood. Seamus stomped toward the door with Dean and Parvati following close behind. Parvati turned to give Hermione a sad smile before walking out the door.
"Bloody hell, what a git," Ron said, shaking his head as the other three left the hall. Taking a large bite from yet another scone, he added, "Well, at least it seems like he hates Malfoy more than he hates us. So, there's that."
"Do you ever stop eating?" Hermione asked, rolling her eyes.
She turned to walk away just as Harry was asking him, "Where are you even keeping those? Are your pockets full of sweets?"
Susan looked up from her conversation with Walt, and both of them walked toward Hermione. Walt extended his hand toward her and said, "Miss Granger, it's a pleasure to meet you."
"You as well, Mr. Whitby."
He grimaced. "Please, don't," he added with a chuckle. "We'll all be family here by the time the program is over. Just Walt is fine."
"Walt. That," she gestured back towards the tables, "was very… uncomfortable."
"Yes, well, it was actually not as bad as I had thought truthfully. I'm fully expecting it to only get worse before it gets better. There is quite a bit to unpack amongst this group."
"And you think it will be conducive to healing to have immediate conflict?"
"I hope so. I think it's important not only for personal healing but also for the healing of an entire community to confront these issues head-on." Regardless of her skepticism, Hermione couldn't help but appreciate his exuberance.
"I hope you're right."
Susan spoke up then. "Are you reconsidering? I know you mentioned wanting to wait until after tonight before making an official decision. After seeing everyone here, I mean."
Hermione looked down at her shoes. "I'm not sure. Tonight has been stressful to say the very least. I think I need a couple days to think about it really."
Susan nodded in understanding, but she appeared a bit crestfallen. Walt, however, asked, "What are your reservations? Perhaps talking about them will offer you some perspective."
"Umm, well, I don't know if I'll be able to really allow myself to open up if I'm constantly being judged."
"And you think those here will be judging you?"
"Yes, I do. Mr. Whitby –" He gave her a stern look. "Sorry. Walt. You don't know what I've gone through with the people here, well one person really. I've been mocked, belittled, harassed, and bullied for the majority of my life. And you all are asking that I share the most vulnerable side of myself with the one person who seemed dead set on making my life hell." She took a breath, realizing that her voice was beginning to climb. "I'm not saying that I agree with what Seamus was saying entirely. I know that Malfoy wasn't fully on board with Voldemort, but I'm still not sure that I can just let all that go for the sake of 'camaraderie'."
"I understand, but I do hope you'll give this a chance. I think, if you truly immerse yourself into our program, you'll see that perhaps you aren't the only one who's looking for change."
He shook her hand again and departed with Susan in tow. When Hermione turned around, she saw that Malfoy had been standing only a few feet away from her, leaning against the door frame, a hand in his pocket. He was looking down, but by the look on his face she knew he had overheard their conversation.
He shifted his gaze to meet her eyes and the look on his face would appear to be one of indifference if the tension in his jaw hadn't given him away. "Granger, hero to the oppressed, champion to the downtrodden. I thought surely you of all people would be more forgiving. Or was all that you said in front of the Wizengamotl a lie?"
Well at least he was listening then, Hermione thought. At the time of his trial, he appeared either completely annoyed or uninterested when she had been speaking on his behalf. Only her own desire to do the right thing and his mother, staring at her intently with tears in her eyes, truly kept her from standing up and walking out. She had been livid to think that she and Harry both were there to try and save him from a lifelong sentence in Azkaban and he seemed to not even care about his own life enough to at least look remorseful.
"No, it wasn't a lie. But saying that you were as much a victim as the rest of us is hardly saying that you were without fault. Voldemort may have forced your hand in a lot of things, but he didn't force you to torment me for six years."
He hadn't moved at all, and the intensity of his stare was overwhelming. Hermione may have changed considerably over the last few years, but her tenacity remained unmoved. She stared back with her attempt at the same force.
He dropped his eyes first and she mentally congratulated herself.
"I suppose you're right," he said. "I did do that all on my own."
They stood in silence for a moment. Hermione was about to turn to leave when he said, "I'm sorry. I…"
She stopped mid-step, turning back to face him. Did I hear that right?
"I can't leave." He still hadn't looked up from the floor, but they both seemed completely transfixed. "I have to be here per my parole. I don't know why you're here, but if you're anywhere near as fucked up as me, then I'm sorry that my being here makes this harder for you. I'm certain that I don't want to be here just as much as you, but I clearly have very little choice in the matter."
She barely had a chance to even process the information before Blaise startled her by appearing seemingly out of nowhere and said, "Fuck this place is huge. There are twenty granians out there, and I swear there's something in the lake."
Draco turned to Blaise and said, "I'm ready whenever you are." Then, he walked away without a backward glance. Blaise bowed deeply to Hermione and said, "It's been a pleasure, Granger," before following Draco from the room.
Hermione found Harry talking to Luna about wrackspurts and their contribution to mental illness.
"Oh, Hermione, yes, we'd better be going," he said, looking to her, his eyes begging for rescue.
"It was great seeing you, Luna. Will you be here throughout the program?" Hermione asked.
"Here and there, I believe."
They said their goodbyes and went to find Ron, finally locating him by the front door.
"Where've you been?" Harry asked.
"I've been looking for you guys. This place is massive," he shrugged.
"We've literally been in the same room, " Hermione said.
"Hmm, must've gotten distracted," Ron mumbled.
"Likely the wrackspurts," Harry said.
"The what?" Ron asked, and Harry and Hermione laughed, shaking their heads as they all headed toward the portkey.