My first Black Clover fic. If you don't get the title now, you will.
It's another beautiful morning in the Black Bull's hideout. Vanessa was passed out drunk on the couch. Charmy was eating, Gauche had a nosebleed over his sister. Grey was in the corner nervous. Gordon was mumbling something. Luck was trying to get Magna to spar with him, Finral was chanting some mantra about not flirting, and Zora was setting up a prank.
"Hehehe, this will be fun," Zora said setting a closed bucket of stinkbugs over the door. Once someone opened it, they'd stink for days.
"Hey, what if Captain Yami is the next person to go through that door?" Finral says.
"I wouldn't worry about that. I snuck some laxatives into some food last night and right about now his gut should be feeling it and he'll be on the toilet all day."
"What about me being on the toilet all day?" Yami asked.
"AAAH! Captain Yami sir! Uh, how much of that did you hear?" Yami grabbed Zora by the head. "Never mind. Got my answer."
"Don't worry, I'm not mad. I mean I am a little pissed you messed with food, but I can appreciate a good prank. In fact..." He jammed the bucket of rainbow stinkbugs on Zora's head. Everyone started laughing. "Now that's a prank."
"And I smelled nastiness from the fridge, so I just grabbed non-nasty stuff," Charmy said.
"We all have become wary of your pranks," Vanessa said.
"Well, not everyone," Gauche said.
Five seconds later everyone realized what he meant.
"Zora, do you remember what kind of food you put it in?" Finral asked.
"I don't know. Some bland tasting potatoes that dried my mouth."
"Those were pop potatoes from Asta's home village, given as a gift from the church that Asta grew up in," Gordon said, though in a whisper, but everyone but Zora guessed what he was talking about, so Yami explained.
"And last night, I got up to use the bathroom and saw him eat one raw," Yami said.
"I should probably hide somewhere after the prank is over shouldn't I?"
"Probably away from the hideout. By the way, has the house changed again?"
"Um, y-yes I think so," Grey said.
"Does anyone know if the bathroom's been moved?"
Meanwhile with Asta, he just woke up and got dressed. However he suddenly felt horrible.
"Oh, man I don't feel so good. Maybe I shouldn't have eaten that pop potato raw. GOTTA GO!"
Asta rushed to where the bathroom was yesterday, forgetting about the layout change. Meanwhile...
We go to the room of Noelle Silva, the white haired beauty of the Black Bulls. She was taking a shower, taking the time to shampoo her hair. After all, "royalty must have the best in hair care" as she would say.
"Ah, a shower first thing in the morning is the best. Good thing for Henry arranging personalized showers. The bath is nice and all but nothing beats a hot shower." She exited her connected bathroom, completely naked because she sometimes slept naked. Good thing she kept her door locked or something super embarrassing might-
"I GOTTA-!" Asta shouted before noticing where he was. "Wait, this isn't the bathroom. Hmm?" Asta then took notice of the naked Noelle's form. It was a thing of beauty. "Uh... hey Noelle. You wouldn't happen to-"
"ASTA YOU PERVERT! SEA DRAGON'S..."
"Now, let's not do anything ra-"
"ROOOOOARRRRRR!"
Asta got blasted by the spell, flying through the base. Yami sensed the ki and took a step back.
"Everyone but Zora, take a step back."
"Uh, why not me?"
"Karma."
Zora heard the incoming sound and realized what Yami meant.
"She's a bitch." Just then Asta slammed through the wall right, into Zora as they landed against the door.
"Well, at least now we know what got moved to where the bathroom was."
A few hours later, we find Zora in the can. Thankfully, Charmy was able to use food magic to help Asta get all the laxatives out in one shot. When Zora tried to pass it off, everyone else locked him in the bathroom.
Back in the common area, Asta and Noelle were blushing up a storm.
"Sorry for barging into your room like that," Asta said.
"I'm the one that forgot to lock the door, so that's on me. But the whole thing is on Zora."
"I know. Messing with the pop potatoes that Sister Lily and the whole church worked so hard to send to us is unforgivable."
"Asta you've gotta-" "I already have." "Huh?" "You were about to tell me I've got to get over Sister Lily and marrying her right? I have. Looking back, it was a case of puppy love, seeing someone so beautiful, my brain stopped working."
"When has it ever worked?" Asta gave her a scowl before she giggled.
"Anyway, I still would like her to marry me, but not like I wanted before. I would like her and the old man to officiate the wedding between me and my future wife."
"Your future wife?" Noelle started imagining Asta and her at a wedding, then at night making love. 'Wait why am I imagining that? Asta's my squadmate!' "So um, on another subject, what did you think?"
"Huh?" "When you saw me naked, what did you think?"
Asta wasn't sure what to say so he got up and went to the fridge to get a snack. He grabbed the door, causing a magic circle to appear before a boxing glove smacked him. He flew through the air, but Noelle was about to use Sea Dragon's Lair to cushion the impact, but he was too fact and slammed into Noelle. When Asta opened his eyes, he was surrounded by darkness. He pulled back and noticed Noelle's blushing face. He realized where he landed, and blushed as well.
"Uh..."
"YOU PERVERT!"
Now she was slapping him. Two minutes later, the bathroom door opened.
"Thank you for your mercy captain," Zora said.
"Nope, just needed to take a dump. Also you're going right back in for putting a trap on the fridge door."
"Oops, forgot about that one."
"Actually, captain Yami..." They looked to see Noelle and Asta cracking their knuckles. "Let us handle him."
"On second thought this bathroom is worse so I'll just-WAAAHH!"
"Have fun you two," Yami said.
"Uh-oh."
And so just another day in the Black Bulls hideout.
HAHAHA, how do you like that? Not bad for my first Black Clover fic. at the time of posting, I've just gotten into the Elf Reincarnation Arc so things are getting interesting.