Things You Are Not Allowed to Do at the SCP Foundation

by Aesop

The 05 Council has decided that certain breaches of protocol at Foundation sites need to be addressed. This list will grow on the basis of reader feedback.

3. Chapter 3

Things You Are Not Allowed to Do at the SCP Foundation

DISCLAIMER: See first chapter.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This one is rather specific to fans of the Tales From the SCP Foundation. I'd been thinking about this for a while, and after watching a couple of similarly themed videos on YouTube, I decided to go ahead with it. Let me know if I should keep it up. R&R.

Chapter 3

Cross-testing of SCPs has led to some remarkable and terrifying discoveries. While the opportunity to expand the Foundation's knowledge and capabilities is welcome, there are some things it is better not to try. The 05 council has received a number of bizarre and ludicrous requests and proposals involving cross-testing. THINK first people.

31. SCP-79 is not to be placed in SCP-914 on the very fine setting to 'see what will happen.'

32. Yes, We Have the Technology, and no you cannot cross-test it with SCP-914 either.

33. What would be the point of testing birds made from SCP-445 with SCP-529? Play with the kitty on your own time.

34. SCP-61 is not to be run on SCP-79. Do I need to explain why this is a bad idea?

35. Loading a scanned image of SCP-637 onto SCP-79 may not be tried to test the theory that 79 is lonely and just needs a pet to cheer it up.

36. Instances of SCP-39 are not to be given SCP-117 to see what they will make. The containment breach on [redacted] was the result of providing SCP-39 with power tools and cost us most of an MTF. No one wants to see what they would do with SCP-117.

37. SCP-423 is to be kept away from all print-based SCPs. The bizarre interaction between 'spaceman Fred' and an instance of SCP-95 that resulted in the destruction of that issue could not have been foreseen, but the breach could have been easily prevented. Don't let it happen again. No one wants Fred turning up in the history books; past or future.

38. SCP-423 can be annoying and troublesome to work with, but permission to cross-test with SCP-410 in an effort to 'correct' its attitude is denied.

39. Cross-testing SCP-35 with ANY SCP is forbidden.

40. It is agreed that cross-testing SCP-172 with SCP-160, that is, having 172 upgrade 160, might yield interesting results, but the losses the Foundation would likely incur would outweigh any potential gain. Who thought this was a good idea?

41. While an interesting notion, it is unlikely we could get SCP-682 to answer SCP-145. Even if it did work, we'd just have to catch the damn lizard again, afterwards. So, no.

42. What could anyone hope to learn by cross-testing SCP-173 with SCP-180? Don't we have enough mind-bending and neck-bending anomalies?

43. Scientists from both projects have been consulted, an no one has any idea what would happen if you introduced SCP-1155 to a building infested with SCP-274. None of them want to find out, either. Request denied.

44. There are no plans to repair SCP-2406, but should that change, SCP-172 will not be involved. Nor will SCP-39. Seriously. No.

45. Permission to cross-test SCP-2430 with SCP-682 is granted.