When Push Comes To Shove ch. 22
Juggling coaching a soccer team, keeping up with my school work and making sure that Jade doesn't run herself into the ground with her film for the contest is a real balancing act but I like that I have the responsibility. Dad has always told that once I put my mind to something that there's nothing that I couldn't do and if it's one thing that Vega family is resilient as we know how to preserve despite the odds. it's one of the reasons why it wasn't in me to give up on the goth when she would constantly try to push me away, try to make my life miserable or deny that we're friends along with feelings for her which paid off. I never thought that I would be this happy in my life but I am and there's nothing that I would change about it as Aisha leisurely walk through the mall as I don't have anything I particularly need to get although it's nice to just get out of the house. I like spending time with someone my age instead of a bunch of people half my age, not that I don't like coaching my munchkins because I do but there are only things that I talk with someone would understand me better and with an attention span longer than a minute long.
I notice that the dancer's relationship with Cat and Andre has been getting rather serious as every time either one of them is brought up into the conversion, her eyes light up and blush colors her cheeks as anyone with eyes can tell that she cares deeply about them. I am happy for the three of them as thankfully no one at school has given them a hard time about their unusual relationship status but I think that it mostly has something to do with the fact that Jade has more than once threaten a few people from bringing it up. The goth may put up a front of cool indifference or that she simply tolerating the people that she hangs out with but I know that she cares more than she lets on and that she considers us her friends despite what she proclaims in public. I can't wait for when the thespian finish up her entry for the horror film contest because I know that it's stressing her out and more than a few times she's gotten so lost in her work that she's neglected taking care of herself. I nearly strapped her to a chair, making her eat something or taking a small break from filming because I got more than a few complaints from the actors that she was basically acting like a raging bitch as she made a few people cry or that she's snapped at them unfairly.
I love my girlfriend and sometimes she can definitely be a handful at times but I wouldn't change anything about her because I love her just the way she is as I do see a future with her and I want to see what it has in store for us. I was so deep in my thoughts that I wasn't paying attention to where I was going until I bump into someone, making them spill their purchases on the ground before apologizing profusely as I help gather up scattered clothes, not looking at the person until they say my name. I froze in an instant, recognizing the voice as it belong to the one person that I've heard my entire life except for the last few months when she decided that she didn't want to be a mother and wife anymore. I look up to see my mother standing in front of me in a white summer dress with pink floral print on the front and before I could say anything to her, Gary my Dad's ex partner, comes up to beside her to wrap his arm around her waist and kisses her cheek. His eyes widen when he finally notices me before letting out a nervous laugh, rubbing the back of his neck as I'm beyond shocked seeing the both of them although seeing the both of them wasn't the most shocking thing as my eyes fall on Mom's swollen belly.
If I had to guess that she's at least four to five months pregnant and a part of me wants to be angry with her because she left her family for someone else cause she wasn't happy with the life that she had only to return with the same guy and carrying his baby.How dare she? After all this time, she just shows up like nothing has change! Does she expect me to welcome her with open arms and pretend that she didn't leave us without a second thought. In all the time that she's been gone, she never once called to check on me or Trina. As far as I know, she sent Dad the divorce so she could live her life without anyone holding her back.. I feel my angry rising dangerously along with the tears because I wanted nothing more than for my mom to love me, to act like she care about me and I did everything I could that I thought would make her feel something for but it was never enough. I take a step back from the woman that I no longer recognize as my mother, breathing in to let out a shaky breath because I don't care what she thinks anymore because she decided that day to be my mom so this woman is a stranger to me.
I gather the clothes from the floor, putting them back into the bags then offering them to her wordlessly as she looks at me with sorrow and guilt in her eyes but I couldn't bring myself to care. I turn to walk away quickly from this woman with Aisha trying to keep up with me and I'm glad that she doesn't try to ask me any questions because I don't know if I would be able to keep myself from breaking down in the middle of the mall. She wraps her arm around my shoulder which I'm grateful for as we walk back to my place to find my dad in the kitchen with Karla cooking lasagna with Becca setting the table as Trina lazily sprawl on the couch, watching Celebrities Underwater. The moment that my sister look up from the television, she could tell that something was wrong before getting up from the couch to grab me by the wrist, practically dragging me up the stairs to my room and by the time that she closes the door behind us; I'm wrap in her warm embrace. Everything that I was holding back up until this point comes out full force and I try to tell her what happen but I'm not sure that any of it was understandable through my sobs as Trina tells me to let out, rocking me back and forth.
I don't know how long we stay like but at some point, I had fallen asleep but I have a slight headache from crying so much when someone knocks on my door as it opens slowly to see Dad looking at me with concern and worry. He doesn't wait for me to say that he comes in but I'll forgive him this time because he has a plate of food and my stomach grumbles at the thought of eating something other than the pitiful salad that I had earlier. Dad hands me the plate with a fork and napkin as I dig into it happily but I know that he didn't come in here just to give me something to eat as he doesn't say anything for awhile until I clean my plate before settling it on the nightstand.
"Aisha told us that you had a run in with your mom and Gary"
"I did and Dad, I was so angry with her. After this time, she just shows up out of the blue like she didn't leave her family for someone else" I said clenching my fists angrily. "How could she do that? I know that you didn't raise me to hate people and I don't want to hate her but a part of me does. I don't like it and I don't like how it make me feel"
"I understand how you feel, Tori and for a while, I was angry at her too for up and leaving like she did" Dad said shaking his head. "I wish that she had told me that she was so unhappy but there's nothing that I could do because she never said anything"
"I don't want to be this angry. I don't want to feel like this"
"I know that you don't but you know that you have people that care about you" Dad said moving to sit next to me, wrapping his arm around my shoulders. "You have a family that loves you, friends that will always be by your side and I'm more than sure that Jade would kill if anyone even thinks of hurting you"
"It's true" I said laughing a little.
"I swear that girl would scare even hardened criminals" Dad said shaking his head amused.
"She's not… that bad. She's just really intense" I said smiling.
"If that's what you wanna call it but Tori, your mother is definitely missing out on the wonderful young woman that you're turning out to be" Dad said kissing the top of my head.
"That's because I have a wonderfully amazing Dad to thank for that" I said resting my head on his shoulder.
"Thank you and one day, I hope that we'll be able to forgive her"
I don't know if I'll be able to forgive her but I do know that my life is full of people that love me no matter what and that's honestly all that matters as I choose to hold onto to that. We walk out of my room, downstairs to find everyone on the couch watching Celebrities Underwater and I don't understand the appeal but I'm unable to look away from it. After a few more episodes, Lyon family decides that it was time to home for the night as the older woman hugs me and Trina extra tight and a few seconds longer than normal and I relish the warm feeling that the hugs provides. I told Aisha that I would see her at school tomorrow as she too hugs a longer than normal but I don't say anything because I know that she wants to convey that she cares. I sit back down on the couch next to my sister as she wraps her arm around, resting her cheek against the top of my head.
"Trina?"
"Yea Tori"
"Are you okay? I mean you know about…. Mom"
"Don't worry about me, I'm fine"
"I know that Dad was a bit worry since I had ran into her but you haven't said anything. You spent a lot of time with her in the past, i-"
"Tori stop, I'm fine okay" Trina said sitting up slightly.
"I didn't spend a lot of time with Mom, not really. From I can remember, she was always gone doing something or out with friends" Trina sighs. "I was never a priority for her as she would constantly leave me with Grandma so she could do whatever she wanted with whoever she wanted. I want to be angry with her but I can't because I stopped caring a long time ago"
"I'm so sorry, Trina and I'm sorry that you had to take care of me for so long"
"Hey, I didn't have to do anything that I didn't want to" Trina said smiling reassuringly. "I could take care of you because you're my baby sister and I love you. There's nothing that I wouldn't do for you"
"I love you too, Trina"
~Nicole The Dragon Rider signing off
End of ch. 22