Wait 8
Author's Note: Reddington is still Reddington. Aram is still Aram. Quote used is from the Selected Diaries of Virginia Woolf.
Let me know what you think!
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"I brought a list on my phone of some of the cheesiest Netflix movies to go along with the soup Ressler made for us," Aram said as he sat on a chair awkwardly in Ressler's apartment.
He had never been invited to his place and wanted to look around without being obvious that he was snooping. He also felt awkward because he knew this was where Samar had slept with him, possibly on the couch that Liz was laying on. Or, more likely in the bed he shared with Liz. Aram needed to stop thinking about Samar and Ressler having sex here if he was going to get through the evening with Liz.
"Thanks for coming to hang out with me," Liz smiled at him. Her jaw was less swollen and she was able to talk better, it had been two days since she was hurt. "Ressler is a little over-protective."
"With good reason," Aram said as he looked around the masculine apartment. "He's got a nice place. Very…masculine."
Liz smiled. "Yeah, I guess."
"How's the weekend been?" Aram asked.
"I've slept most of it, watched TV or movies when I was awake," Liz admitted. "His mom's soup is really good, he made that yesterday morning."
"Yeah, I'm surprised he made soup," Aram said. "Like from a recipe of his mom's…"
"He's actually a really good cook," Liz smiled. "I need to up my game."
"Huh," Aram said, realizing there was more to Ressler than met the eye. Which could be why he managed to sleep with the two best looking and most awesome women in the Post Office.
"She was on the phone with him giving him the recipe," Liz chuckled. "It was really cute listening to them interact."
"What was she like?" Aram asked.
"Very sweet," Liz smiled. "Called him Donnie and kept telling him about phone conversations she'd had with his various aunts in between ingredients and directions. He called her 'ma' most of the time. It was, honestly, adorable."
Aram looked at her face lighting up as she spoke about Ressler and smiled. Liz, whether she realized it or not, was in love with him, and that made Aram happy.
"Well, let me get some of this infamous soup," Aram said as he rose and went to Ressler's kitchen.
"Can I get more tea too while you're there?" Liz asked him.
"Of course," Aram said. "Take a look at the list on my phone and decide on our movie."
Liz picked up his device and started scrolling through the films.
Aram looked at the beautiful pot of squash and carrot soup on the stove and smiled. There was a baggette sitting on the counter as well. He opened some cupboards and pulled out bowls, spoons, and mugs. Did he open a few more cupboards than were necessary? Probably. But Aram soon discovered that Ressler didn't keep anything different in his kitchen than most men did. He was surprised at the tea towels with Bruce Lee sayings on them but figured they may have been a joke gift that proved useful.
"You find everything?" Liz asked.
"Yeah, I just need to put on the kettle for your tea," Aram called back as he did just that, plugging in the device that looked brand new.
"Like my new kettle?" Liz asked him. "Ressler didn't own one."
"How do you not own a kettle?" Aram asked.
"That's what I said!" Liz concurred.
"How did he make instant oatmeal or ramen?" Aram asked.
"Apparently he didn't," Liz smiled as Aram walked in with their soup. "He boiled water in a pot if he ever needed to, which, he claims, was rare."
"Weird," Aram said.
"I know," Liz nodded. "Did you find my growing stash of tea?"
"Which one do you want?" Aram asked her. He had found the six boxes of David's Tea in one of his cupboard searches.
"Surprise me," Liz smiled.
Aram smiled back and returned to the kitchen.
"How are things with you and Samar?" Liz called to him.
"What do you mean?" Aram asked.
"Aram, before I went on the run, you were gearing up to ask her out," Liz said.
"Uh, yeah, we went out as friends a couple of times," Aram said.
"And have you actually asked her out on a real date?" Liz asked him.
"She kinda got involved with someone and…and I'm not sure…"
"Like she's got a boyfriend?" Liz asked.
"No, just…I'm not so sure we're meant to be more than friends," Aram said as he poured her tea.
"Well, she helped me a few times, tipping me and Tom off about the restaurant, and helping me locate Reddington," Liz said. "I really appreciated everything she did for me."
Aram thought about the circumstances in which Samar helped Liz locate Reddington; the search Samar did on Ressler's computer in the very early hours after they had sex the night before. He wasn't sure if Ressler had come clean with Liz about Samar or not.
"I'm glad Ressler advocated for her to get her job back," Liz said. "I was pissed when he said he fired her."
Aram stirred honey into Liz's tea and thought about Samar and Ressler standing in this kitchen in the morning talking over coffee, maybe she was wearing one of his shirts and not much more…
"Aram?" Liz asked.
"Coming!" He called to her before he dropped the spoon in the sink and brought her tea to the living room.
"Thank you," Liz smiled at him when he set down her tea on the coffee table. "So really, not Samar?"
Aram shook his head. "I'm re-thinking the whole romantic interest bit. We're very good friends and maybe it's better that way."
Liz nodded. "You know best, but I hope you aren't backing away because you're scared it won't work out when you need to try before you know."
Aram ate his soup.
"So, can I ask about you and Ressler?" Aram asked.
"What do you want to know?"
"Has something been going on with you two for a while and none of us knew?" Aram asked.
Liz smiled. "Yes and no. Yes, we had an attraction and feelings for each other that we didn't act upon but knew were there. And no, nothing happened until the night I came here to see him after I shot Connolly."
"That same night that you shot…you were here?" Aram asked. "And that's when you made little Keenler?"
Liz chuckled at his use of the pet name for their baby.
"He wanted me to turn myself in, and I said I would in the morning, to please him, but I was gone when he woke up," Liz said. "Not my proudest moment, lying to him."
"Shit," Aram said.
"And now we're here," Liz smiled.
"Where's here, relationship-wise?"
"It's really good," Liz said, not really answering with specifics. "But we're seeing how things go, romantically. So far, so good."
Aram nodded. It sounded like baby Keenler was the result of one night spent together, one night where she'd sort of tricked him. That wasn't the most auspicious start.
"And you're living together?" Aram asked.
"For now," Liz said. "We're taking it day by day and with this latest incident, I think it's good for both of us."
Aram nodded. "Well, I'm happy for you both."
"Thanks," Liz smiled. "I hadn't realized, in all the years I was with Tom, how much nicer it is to be in a healthy relationship based on honestly."
"Honesty is key," Aram nodded, still not sure if she knew about Samar.
"13 Going on 30," Liz said as she picked up the remote. "It was first on your list and the one I liked best."
"Bring on Jennifer Garner then!" Aram said excitedly as Liz navigated Netflix and chose the show before shifting on the sofa.
"Do you need something?" Aram asked.
"I have a sweater…" Liz said as she winced.
"Stay there," Aram said. "Where is it?"
"In the bedroom, I think I have it on the chair," Liz said as she settled back down.
Aram got up and walked into Ressler's bedroom and swallowed hard. He knew in his gut this was where he'd slept with Samar and that made Aram very uncomfortable. The bedroom was also very tastefully decorated but masculine, like the living room. He saw no sweater on the leather chair in the corner of the room.
"Not on the chair!" Aram called to her.
"Check the closet!" Liz called back. "It's mustard coloured."
Aram opened the closet to find it filled with neatly lined up suits and shirts interspersed with women's clothing that must have belonged to Liz.
"No mustard sweater!" Aram called.
"I'll come…" Liz huffed.
"No, just tell me where to look!" Aram called back as he looked around the room.
"Maybe the dresser?" Liz called. "I swear he hides things on me."
Aram opened the top drawer and saw both men's and women's underwear and bras mixed together. He shut it quickly. The next drawer revealed shirts, men's and women's again, no sweater. He was just opening the third drawer when she called.
"Try the hook on the back of the bathroom door," Liz said.
Aram shut the drawer and walked toward the washroom which seemed to have two doors, one to that was off the bedroom and one that led to the living room. He looked behind the doors and wondered if Samar showered here before she came into work that morning. Did they shower together?
"Found it!" He called to Liz.
"Thank god, because I wouldn't know where he hid it next," Liz smiled as Aram returned with her sweater.
"You two have really blended," Aram said as he took his seat and the credits started.
"What do you mean?" Liz asked reaching for her soup.
"Usually, people have one drawer each or half a closet each, or something, you two have everything mashed together," Aram said with a snicker.
"Yeah, Tom was like that," Liz said. "Sort of my space and your space in drawers, the closet, even freaking hooks on the walls. Ressler doesn't seem to care, and everything just ends up together."
"Huh, I pictured him more about boundaries…." Aram said absently.
Liz shook her head in the negative. "No, he's very relaxed about all that."
"You feel good about the baby?" Aram asked. "Does he have a second bed…?"
"No, but we have a lot of time to figure that out," Liz said. "At least, that's what all expectant parents probably tell themselves until they're walking out of the hospital with a bundle of joy and nothing planned or prepared."
Aram chuckled with her and looked toward the TV. They laughed and watched the movie and broke out the bagette and enjoyed it as well. They were part way through a series of YouTube compilations about Dawson's Creek, which they both decided was their next binge watch, when Ressler walked in the door.
"Hey!" Liz called to him from the living room.
Aram stood from his chair and started to gather their bowls and mugs while Ressler hung up his coat.
"Aram, you don't need to…" Liz started.
"No, it's been a long night and you probably…"
"It looks like you two had fun," Ressler said as he walked into the room.
"13 Going on 30," Liz said with a smile.
"Aram, I can get those," Ressler said to their friend.
"No, it's fine," Aram said as he started to walk toward the kitchen.
Liz shifted, got up, and kissed Ressler's cheek before she shuffled toward the washroom and shut the door. Ressler picked up the rest of the dishes and followed Aram into the kitchen.
"Thanks for keeping her company," Ressler started. "I had to meet Reddington and, well it didn't go as planned and…"
"Have you told her about Samar?" Aram hissed as he looked into Ressler's eyes.
"No," Ressler admitted. "I want to, but with everything…well…"
"You need to tell her," Aram said. "All night I was wondering if she knew, it's not fair that I know, and she doesn't. I wish I didn't know, but I do, and so should she."
"I agree," Ressler nodded and shifted. "I'm telling her."
"When?" Aram asked rinsing the bowls.
Ressler sighed and looked over his shoulder. They had a few things to discuss after his visit with Reddington so, Samar may as well be one of them.
"Tonight," Ressler said.
"Thank you," Aram sighed.
Ressler looked at him thoughtfully for a moment.
"Aram," he said softly. "I'm sorry."
Aram continued to scrub.
"What happened between me, and Samar shouldn't have," Ressler said. "It was…I guess, a moment of weakness, emotionally, for both of us and we both knew it shouldn't have happened right afterwards."
"I don't really want to think about…"
"I just want you to know that," Ressler said. "Had I been thinking clearly, had she been thinking clearly, then nothing would have happened. And nothing more is ever going to happen."
Aram nodded and they both turned their heads when they heard the toilet flush.
"I am telling her tonight," Ressler reassured his friend. "And I hope you and Samar can move beyond…"
"I get that it happened," Aram said as he turned and looked at Ressler. "I get that it shouldn't have. I get all that. But what I can't get out of my brain is that it did. That in a moment of…weakness, whatever, you and she…that's what I'm having a hard time with."
Ressler shifted as he heard the washroom door open. "Look, no one is perfect, so if you are expecting Samar to be, she'd not. But she's an amazing person who cares about you and if you can see that, then I think you two could have something. But if every time she does something you don't approve of you are questioning everything about your relationship, then you aren't ready for that relationship."
Liz walked into the kitchen and leaned against Ressler's shoulder companionably.
"I'm whipped," she said as she closed her eyes.
"I better get out of your way so you can go to bed," Aram said as he dried his hands.
"Thanks for everything tonight, Aram," Liz smiled at him as she wrapped an arm around Ressler's waist. "I really had a lot of fun."
"I just showed up," Aram said. "Ressler made the soup and…"
"Did you like it? It's my mom's…"
"It was delicious," Aram said.
"I'll bring you some for lunch tomorrow," Ressler smiled at him.
"Thanks," Aram smiled back.
Liz stepped forward and carefully hugged Aram. "Thanks."
Aram gently hugged her back and smiled. "Anything for you Liz."
They walked him to the door and waved goodbye as he walked away down the hallway.
Ressler closed the door and looked at the woman next to him, sleepy. He promised Aram he'd tell her about Samar tonight, so he was going to do just that, but first, they needed to talk about Reddington.
"So, you told Reddington to not let me near him?" Ressler asked her.
She wrapped both arms around his waist and hugged him.
"You can't come back from something like that," Liz said. "And I don't want to worry about visiting you in jail with our child."
"You couldn't have discussed it with me?" Ressler asked.
"You were only seeing red when it came to him," Liz said. "You wouldn't have listened."
Ressler had to give her credit; she was right.
"A discussion would have still been nice, I drove all the way to Baltimore to listen to a Reddington lecture about not stepping into the darkness while I stared at the man who beat the shit out of you through a one-way mirror," Ressler said.
"He's turning him in, right?" Liz asked.
"Yeah, after a few interesting injuries," Ressler smirked.
"Interesting?" Liz asked.
"I'm not really sure, but I know there was a goat and a bat involved," Ressler said.
Liz looked at him perplexed.
"Ask Reddington if you're so curious, I'm not sure I could explain the logistics…"
"I know normally this would be a discussion, but Ressler, you also didn't tell me you asked Reddington to find him," Liz said as she looked up at him.
"I know, but If you'd just said, I wouldn't have gone all the way to Baltimore to not only see the man I couldn't kill, but also get questioned by Reddington about my intentions…did you know he wants to buy us a house?"
"Intentions?" Liz asked.
"Are we getting married, living together, will I be there to help with the baby, do we want a nanny, etc. It was a very long list of questions," Ressler explained. "And I hope you're okay with it, but I told him 'no' to the house."
Liz smiled.
"He was trying to divide and conquer. I already said 'no' to the house," Liz said.
Ressler chuckled and nodded.
"We both need to get better at communicating with each other," Liz said. "I should have told you I made those arrangements with him and about the house offer, I'm sorry."
Ressler sighed and gave her a small smile.
"And in the spirit of communication and honesty, I need to tell you something you aren't going to like," Ressler said as he took her hands in his and ran his thumb over the backs of her fingers.
"Worse than you going to kill the man who beat me up?" Liz asked.
"No, probably not worse, but more…personal," Ressler said.
She looked at him confused.
"While you were on the run, I slept with someone," he said as he met her eyes. "Just a couple of weeks before you turned yourself in."
"Ressler, we slept together once before that," Liz smiled at him. "We weren't in a committed…"
"It was Samar," Ressler said, and he felt her body tense immediately.
"Samar? Task Force Samar? Beautiful Samar? Our friend Samar?" Liz asked him.
"It was a huge error in judgement on both our parts and…"
"Do you make it a habit of sleeping with all of your female co-workers?" Liz asked dropping his hands and feeling a surge of something rush through her body.
"Hey, wait a second," Ressler said. "I didn't make a move on you. You…"
"So, you didn't want to sleep with me?" Liz asked.
"That's not what I said," Ressler defended himself. "All I'm saying is you are implying that I chase after the women I work with and that is far from the case."
"So, it was a mistake? With me or with Samar? Or both? Could she be pregnant as well?" Liz asked, her body heating up and her voice rising.
"Liz," Ressler started as he grabbed her hands again. "I have been in love with you for years, so don't try and twist my intentions with you. I have always, always, wanted you. But you ran. You made me think that sleeping with me was a ploy to get away. You worked with Tom, he implied to me you were back together. He…he and I had a fight, and I was angry, I felt betrayed, like I had truly lost you…I'm not excusing what happened with Samar…and we absolutely used a condom…I'm just explaining where my head was, and why I may have made a choice on that day that I wouldn't have made on another day."
Liz's ire deflated a little and she sighed.
"Her brother was found alive and turned out to be a terrorist," Ressler explained. "I had just had a fist fight with Tom and knew you would never be with me again. We were both in a dark place. I think we wanted to forget, maybe feel something other than anger and loss…I don't know how else to explain it. But we both knew it was a mistake immediately."
Liz closed her eyes and nodded.
"With everything that's going on, I wanted to tell you, but well, I also didn't, because I was scared," Ressler admitted. "I don't want this to be the reason…I don't want something that has finally started, something that is amazing and that I have wanted for a very, very long time, to end because of a regrettable mistake I made."
She stepped toward him and wrapped her arms around his back.
"You made?" Liz asked him.
He looked at her confused.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap, I think it's the surprise and the hormones," Liz said. "I'm not going to pretend I'm thrilled about this, especially that it was Samar you slept with; who's amazing."
Liz chuckled and pulled back to look at him.
"But I gave you no reason to think anything would work out with us," Liz said to him. "And I'm sure Tom made it sound like we were back together in only a way Tom can. I see the place I left you in, the place Tom helped push you toward…"
Ressler nodded.
"If I could take back…" Ressler said.
Liz chuckled.
"If I could take back the way I left things with us that night, I would," Liz said as she placed a hand over his heart. "I know I messed with your head, and I'm sorry for that."
"Liz, don't…"
"How about we both say we had a part in either the act or the situation that led to it," Liz said. "And move on?"
Ressler looked at her surprised.
"Seriously?" He asked.
"Do you plan to sleep with Samar or anyone else again?" Liz asked.
He furrowed his brow.
"I hope I get to sleep with you again," Ressler admitted. "And I do have a date with Katie Langfeld, this Thursday night, just dinner…sorry, I need to follow through on…"
Liz wrapped her arms around his neck and winced in pain.
"Be careful," he said, worried about her.
"Want me to come with you and Katie? Does she want both sides of the partner who hunted down his own partner?" Liz asked.
Ressler smiled at her.
"Now, that would be a scoop," Ressler chuckled. "I think I can control myself and not sleep with Katie, Liz."
"It's not that," Liz said with a smile. "I just want to help. You bargained for this to help me, you did a ridiculous amount of things to help me…it's the least I can do."
He tilted his head to the side, thinking about her offer.
"I'll text her and ask," Ressler offered.
Liz smiled.
He sighed and looked down at her.
"I know I've already apologized but…"
Liz kissed him, "I should apologize too. I went from zero to one hundred in about 2 seconds, I'm not blaming my hormones, I'm just thinking they are a factor. You're a grown man and I get what happened with Samar, I do."
Ressler nodded.
"Are you really okay with this?" Ressler asked.
She let go of his neck and hugged his torso and burrowed into his chest.
"I want to look forward with you, not back," Liz sighed.
Ressler wrapped her loosely in his arms and kissed the top of her head.
"And did you say you love me?" Liz asked, not moving from her spot buried in his chest.
Ressler chuckled, "Yeah, I guess I did."
She chuckled with him.
He felt her nod against his chest, but she said nothing in return. He was glad he said it, despite the circumstances of their conversation. If they were going to be honest, then that was as honest as you could get; he did love her. And, shockingly, he didn't feel insecure that she hadn't said it back. He knew Liz, and he knew what she'd gone through with Tom, saying those words and knowing she had that feeling for someone, was not going to come easy for her.
"Does Aram know?" Liz asked. "About you and Samar? Because he's got the biggest crush on…"
"Yeah, he, uh, figured it out," Ressler explained.
Liz turned her head, so her chin pressed into his chest, and she looked at him for explanation.
"Uh, it had to do with you," Ressler explained.
"Me?"
"You called Samar for Reddington's location," Ressler said.
"Yeah?" Liz asked.
"You called her pretty early one morning," Ressler added. "That was the morning she was at my apartment."
"Oh," Liz nodded.
"She used my computer to run the trace, it felt warm when I picked it up to leave, I, stupidly asked Aram to run a trace and he saw the IP address was mine and put two and two together with the time stamp of the trace…"
"Shit," Liz winced.
"He's been very, very cool toward me since," Ressler said. "Rightfully so. I did fire her for doing that."
"And I'm glad to see you fixed that," Liz said. "He seems very happy we're together."
"He…I'm a little worried about him being so judgey with Samar, honestly," Ressler said.
"How do you mean?" Liz asked.
"So, he's all into her, but she makes one mistake and he's questioning whether he can be with her?"
"Spoken by the man who, despite all the shit I pulled, still loves me?" Liz asked.
"You didn't…"
"I did," Liz said. "And don't think that I don't see that Ressler. You may have slept with Samar in a moment of fucked-up-ness. But you stuck with me through many moments of fucked-up-ness."
He snickered. "Is that actually a word?"
"It is now," Liz smiled at him as she got up on her toes and kissed his lips. "Maybe that's how you just know you love someone, when you understand they are human and make mistakes, but are still a wonderful and good person that you couldn't see your life without?"
Ressler gave her a small smile.
"You're human Ressler, and you made a mistake," Liz smiled at him. "And I can't imagine my life without you in it."
Ressler swallowed hard and nodded. She wasn't quite at the words, but she was at the sentiment and that was all he needed.
Liz stepped back and pulled at his hand.
"Let's get some sleep," she said softly.
They went to the bedroom, stripped down to the bare minimum and she curled into his frame sighing heavily as she relaxed against him. Her body may be healing form the incident a couple of days ago, but her emotions were still healing from years of crazy with Tom and her recent brushes with death and jail. She needed to find her way to better and normal with Ressler; he deserved better and normal. He deserved a woman who could just say 'I love you' and not feel the words stick in her throat despite the feeling in her heart that supported those words. He deserved someone who was as forgiving of him as he had been of her. He deserved happiness, and he'd chosen her and their baby as a path to that and Liz needed to let go of the shit that had been weighing her down and allow herself to be happy with him. She knew she could be, and would be, if she just released the breath she felt like she was holding most of the time.
Liz felt his fingers lightly tracing a path up and down her back, lulling her into sleep while his even and steady heartbeat told her he was strong and solid and present. He was everything to her and she needed to stop kidding herself and thinking that she would ever be satisfied just raising their child as friends. No, Liz knew in that moment she wanted it all; him, a baby, a house, a family, stability, and a future with the man that was gently helping her fall asleep. The man she loved. A future with this wonderful man who forgave her of everything, judged nothing, accepted her as she was, and despite being scared that his one mistake could undo all this, was honest with her about it anyways. That man. The man she loved.
Liz scooted up his body and placed a kiss on his lips. "I love Virginia Woolf."
Ressler looked at her in the dark confused, only able to really see the outline of her face.
"The old writer?" Ressler asked. "Or are you trying to tell me something else entirely?"
She chuckled. "The writer."
"Oh, good," Ressler sighed and smiled.
"When I we lay like this, I think of a quote from her," Liz said softly, her voice hitching a little as she spoke.
"Lay it on me," he said, pulling her against him a little more, unsure what an old author had to do with them cuddling and falling asleep.
"'In case you ever foolishly forget: I am never not thinking of you'" Liz said quietly in the dark.
He smiled, he knew.
He leaned in and kissed her softly.
She settled back onto his chest with her head resting against his heart and fell asleep to the rhythm of Ressler.
To be continued…