Chapter 1

Blood Gulch

In the Canyon Donut was looking over Tucker, who was still lying on the ground in pain. "Come on mister blue guy, yu gotta wake up. Wake up." Donut said to Tucker. "It hurts. Just let me die." Tucker said to Donut. "You can't die, I'm bored! All these girls wanna talk about is chick stuff, and not the fun chick stuff like ribbons and unicorns." Donut said to Tucker.

With Tex and Sheila, they were having a girl chat, nearby. "I don't have treads, but I often find staring at things they really shouldn't be." Tex said to Sheila.

"You see? Boring stuff like oppression, and a hostile work environment." Donut said to Tucker. "Get Doc, I need Doc." Tucker said to Donut. "I can't. He got possessed by that evil guy and they escaped. He's the one that shot you. Don't you remember?" Donut asked Tucker. "I know. I want him to shoot me again." Tucker said to Donut. "Now, now, now. Sounds like someone's got a case of the "poor me"s if you were gonna die, you would have done it by now! Maybe you just need to realize, you're gonna have to live with intense pain." Donut said to Tucker.

"Get that Sarge guy, have him make me a new body." Tucker said to Donut. "We can't! We're out of parts because we overused that joke! And Sage left with the others to chase Doc, but don't you worry! They left a long time ago, so I'm sure they'll be back any minute. Simmnos had a fool-proof plan to catch him." Donut said to Tucker.

The Closet

"Hello? Hello? Is anybody else here? Just great." Simmons said, looking around. West then said to him. "I just checked the area and I didn't see anyone. I then tried the Blue Team radio, but it's not working. I guess O'Malley sabotaged your Teleport and we all got separated, plus I did find an instruction manual for whatever this place is. Have you tried your radio?"

"Yes I did." Simmon said before he turned away from West and said over the radio. "Sarge! This is Simmons 2.0, do you read me?" West questions the 2.0 part of Simmons' name. "Apparently Jack's plan to chase Lopez and Doc has failed miserably!"

"Weren't you the one that set the teleport to go after them." West said and Simmon didn't listen to him. "I appear to be stuck with a Blue in some kind of nexus of teleporters which could take us anywhere in the universe. Or it's the janitor's closet- hell, I don't fucking know! Sarge! Are you there, Sarge!"

"Since you are having no luck, it's time for plan B. Follow me." West said as Simoon followed West to a dashboard with a bunch of buttons and screens, and it had a teleporter right in front of it.

A Box Canyon

With Sarge, Jack, Infernape, and Caboose. They were all standing in the creek, trying to call anyone. "Helloo? Anyone? Do you read me do I read you? Anyone? Anybody?" Sarge asked his radio. "Sarge you've been at this for a while, we would have gotten something by now." Jack said to Sarge. "Okay." Sarge said to Jack, before turning off his radio. "Well, I don't think the others are coming. They must have gotten separated somehow." Sarge said to Jack. "The teleporter probably scattered us." Jack said to Sarge. "My toes… are getting pruney." Caboose said to everyone, making them look at Caboose, and confuse them.

"O...kay. Why don't we try to find O'malley?" Sarge asked everyone. "Good idea." Jack said to Sarge, before everyone, but Caboose got out of the creek. "I know where you can find O'Malley… He lived inside my helmet for a while! Maybe he left an address to send his mail. We were like roommates." Caboose said to everyone, making them stop. "Sounds like he took some of the furniture when he left. And the carpets. And the drapes. And I wouldn't expect to get that deposit back, if you know what I mean." Sarge said to Caboose, as Caboose passed them. "I don't think he does, sir." Jack said to Sarge, as Caboose, stopped by the side of the base.

"Sergeant! Friend! Fire Money! Look! A sleeping person!" Caboose said getting their attention, and making them move towards Caboose. "We're not friends." Jack said before, they noticed a dead body wearing the same armor as Caboose. "What? Holy macaroon…" Sarge said, as he inspected the dead body. "He's not sleepin', son… He's dead." Sarge said to Caboose, making Caboose sigh in relief. "Oh, good. At first, I thought that was me, because I am blue and I like to sleep… But, if he is dead that cannot be me. That would be silly." Caboose said to everyone. "I don't even know how to respond to that." Jack said to Caboose.

"No doubt he was killed by our very enemy! Once again I find myself torn. On the one hand, there's one less blue in the universe. But now Doc's got a bigger body count than me! And that just won't do. No sir!" Sarge said to everyone. "Rest in peace… Scumbag." Sarge said to the dead blue, as Caboose walked away from everyone. "Don't worry sir, we have blue here. We can kill him to even out the body count." Jack said to Sarge.

"Look- More sleeping people!" Caboose said to everyone. "What?" Jack asked as they ran to Caboose, and saw a lot of dead bodies, wearing the same armor as Sarge and Caboose. "It must be nap time…! But who has nap time now? Nap time comes before pants time, no after I think these people are just making up times." Caboose said to everyone. "What's wrong with you?" Jack asked Caboose.

"What the Samuel Helsinki happened here? It must have been an enormous battle!" Sarge said to everyone. "HELLO is anyone okay!? Are there any survivors!? Preferably any Red survivors? Don't let that discourage you from speaking up if you're Blue, I won't step on your neck or anything like that." Sarge said to the dead bodies. "Am I allowed to answer..?" Caboose asked Sarge. "No." Jack said to Sarge. "Shh, quiet! You hear that?" Sarge asked them.

The listening and the sound of a trumpet filled the air. "Yeah I do." Jack said to Sarge. "Yes, that noise is called water. It is very wet, and very slosh-." Caboose said to Sarge, but was interrupted by Sarge. "I was talking about the trumpet, bluetard!" Sarge said to Caboose. "I have to go to the bathroom now, for some reason… which is odd, because I already went when we were standing in the crack together." Caboose said to everyone. "Gross." Jack said to Caboose.

"Wait a minute I know that song, that's Reverille! But why would someone be playing Reveille in the middle of a-." Sarge asked, but was interrupted by all the dead bodies coming to life, yelling and cheering. 'Sweet jibbly jiblets!" Sarge said. "Living Ghost types." Jack said. "Running time!" Caboose said.

But luckily nothing happened. All the revived people just let out a just started to let out a hut sound, and went into the two buildings. "What just happened here?" Sarge asked everyone. "I think all the sleepy people were trying to ke-" Caboose said to Sarge, but again Sarge interrupted him. "That was rhetorical." Sarge said, as he, Jack, and Infernape, moved to a high open window.

"Looks like we need Caboose help to reach that window sir." Jack said to Sarge, as they looked at the window. "Get over here, give us a boost!" Sarge said to Caboose. "Okay…" Caboose said as he walked to them. "You two are good people, and people say nice things about you." Caboose said to them, as he reached them. "Not a morale boost, moron, a physical one! I need to see what's in the window!" Sarge said to Caboose. "That window is very high. I don't think you are tall enough." Caboose said to Sarge.

"I know! I need you to help me look through it." Sarge said to Caboose. "I don't think I am tall enough, either. Also, my head is round. That window is square." Caboose said to Sarge. "Does he have a single digit IQ?" Jack asked. "C'mere, you." Sarge said, as he, Jack, and Infernape, picked up Caboose, and placed one of Caboose's feet on each one of their shoulders, with Infernape helping Caboose up.

"Whoa!" Caboose said, as he reached the window. "What do you see?" Sarge asked Caboose. "I see… a room." Caboose said to Sarge. "And? What's in the room?" Sarge asked Caboose. "There are some walls and some ceilings… Wait! Just one ceiling." Caboose said to Sarge. "That's not helpful, Caboose." Jack said to Caboose. "What's makin' all that racket?" Sarge asked Caboose, as they all heard something. Caboose looked down to see that racket was some blue chanting, kill the reds. "You are not going to like it…" Caboose said as everyone lowered Caboose down.

"Jack, Caboose, I have a very bad feeling about-" Sarge said before the trumbid played again. "What's that?" Sarge said as both team's yelled. "CHARRGGE!" Soon the cannon was filled with battle cries and gun fire from both teams. Sarge then said to them as a bullet flew past them. "C'mon men, we gotta get to higher ground!" Sarge said to everyone.

"Yes, sir! There's a ladder over there." Jack said as pointed to a ladder that led to a cliff that was nearby. Then they all ran abiding a few stray bullets, and hearing some strange thing from the Reds and Blues. "Come on, men!" Sarge said as he climbed the ladder first, with Jack behind him, Caboose behind Jack, and Infernape behind Caboose.

Once they were on the top, they watched the battle unfold. "Sarge… Friend… I am scared of our new friends." Caboose said to everyone. "Caboose, I'm not your friend, and neither are they." Jack said to Caboose. "Hot Sonny Bono, what's going on here?" Sarge asked everyone.

"Stop fighting, stop fighting everyone, stop fighting!" A Red soldier said as he came out of a base, holding the Blue Team flag. Everyone stopped fighting and turned their attention to the Red soldier with the flag and he said to everyone. "Everyone, everyone, look unto me! I possess the Blue flag!"

"It's more beautiful than I ever imagined!" Another Red soldier said, dropping his gun and crying in his helmet. The Red soldier with the soldier then said to everyone. "I have seen the top of the mountain! And you will worship me as though I were a God!" Then the Blue team surrounded him and beat him to death. "I regret nothing! I lived as few men dared to dream!" The Red soldier said with his dying breath. Soon the fighting started again and it didn't stop until only one Red soldier was left, but then he had a heart attack and died.

Sarge, Jack, Infernape and Caboose saw the whole battle and Sarge said. "I have no earthly idea what it is I just saw, or what this place is, or where in the Hell O'malley is! My only choice is to blame Grif. For Coming up with such a flawed plan. Stupid, stupid Grif." Sarge said to everyone. "Sounds like a plan sir." Jack said to Sarge

Caboose then said. "I am so confused. Where is Church? I need Church to tell me what to think. Church could handle this. He can handle anything!"

Frozen Wasteland

With Church and Grif, they were locked in a jail cell and Church was not handling it well. "Hey, asshole for the last time, LET ME OUTTA THIS GOD DAMN JAIL CELL!" Church yelled to a guard. "Yea, let him out. He's driving me nuts!" Grif said to a guard. "Oh, shut up red, nobody asked you." Church said to Grif. "I should hav never listend to Donut's stupid fucking plan."