Chapter 3
Before we start I would like to mention that Tex and Wset will not get together, she just admires the only real soldier in the canyon.
Frozen Wasteland
In another area in the Frozen Wasteland, O'Malley was laughing evilly with Lopez next to him. "Well. My metallic friend, your modifications are complete! My plan is coming to fruition. Fruit- fruit- fruition?" O'Malley said, losing his train of thought. [Fruition] Lopez said to O'Malley. "Oh, shut up." O'Malley said to Lopez. [Yes, Master. Your plan is foolproof.] Lopez said to O'Malley.
"Now, to bring together my enemies!" O'Malley said before he started to call someone. That someone was Vic. who sent him to voicemail. "Vic! Pick up! It's me!" O'Malley said to Vic. Vic then answered him. "Oh, hey! Doctor Baron von Evil Satan! What's up, dude?" VIc said to O'Malley. "Don't screen my calls Vic." O'Malley said to Vic. "Dude, you don't come up on caller ID. I'm not just gonna answer-" Vic said to O'Malley, but O'Malley interrupted him.
"Caller ID? I'm in hiding, you Buffoon! I'm trying to take over the universe!" O'Malley said to Vic, before he let out an evil laugh. "We're also on the "do not call" list." Doc said, poking his voice out. "Oh, shut up." O'Malley said to Doc.
"So how's the plot going, dude?" Vic asked O'Malley. "Magnificent! I've called my bounty hunter in. to take care of a little red/blue problem posthaste!" O'Malley said to Vic, laughing a little, before he coughed on his own spit. "Oh, cool! Nice turning that around so quick, dude! I know you're swamped." Vic said to O'Malley. "Then the universe will be mine and I'll crush every living soul into DUST! Ha ha ha. Except for you, of course, Vic. I'll make you assistant crusher." O'Malley said to Vic. "OK, dude. Looking forward to it." Vic said to O'Malley.
The Nexus
At the Nexus Simmnos was explaining what happened while West tinkered with the controls. "And that brought you back here. So, theoretically, one of these teleporters should transport us back to Blood Gulch or anywhere else that we want to go. You understand?" Simmons asked everyone. "Yes, no. What does "thermaretically" mean?" Caboose asked Simmons.
"I told you you would save time if you said it was magic." West said going over the manual again. Caboose then said to West. "I thought he told the story well. I liked all the parts with me in them."
"Any idea which ones go where?" Sarge asked West and West said to them. "No. The manual said, "That all space cordance should be remembered and not written down, so no one can steal them." So unless you guys want to go back to the X-Box Cannon, we need to find a way to track them."
"West, when did you get this smart?" Jack said to him and West said. "It's either read the manuals at base or stand around doing nothing. And I hate doing nothing."
"We have manuals here?" Jack said and West said to everyone after growling a little. "You maybe you all should take a teleporter, who knows where you'll appear. Heck it could be on a plant in the middle of nowhere, for all I care."
"Great plan. We should definitely take the green one." Caboose said to everyone. "OK. Be quiet now." Simmons said to Caboose. "I don't think he can be quiet." Jack said to Simmons. "We've gotta find a way to contact them!" Sarge said before he got a call from Vic. "Come in, Sergeant dude. Hello Sargent dude. Are you there?"
"Vic?" Sarge asked. "Got some big news for you dudes." Vic said to Sarge.
Blood Gulch
In the Canyon, Tex got the same new Sarge got. "Bad news, Tucker. I just picked up a feed. You've been tagged." Tex said to Tucker, as everyone gathered around Tex. "Tagged? That sounds bad. Unless it means something sexual. Does it mean something sexual?" Tucker asked Tex. "It means something bad." Tex said to Tucker. "Oh, yeah, like that's a surprise." Tucker said.
"Someone's hired a freelancer to take you out. Do you have any idea why?" Tex asked Tucker. "I can't say." Tucker said to Tex, as he turned away. "Keeping secrets? I find that attractive." Tex said to Tucker. "You do?!" Tucker asked Tex, as he looked at Tex. "In attractive people, yeah." Tex said to Tucker.
"Do you know who's after him?" Donut asked Tex. "A guy I know from training. Name's Wyoming." Tex said to Donut, making Tucker laugh a little. "Finally, a name dumber than Donut!" Tucker said. "Hey!" Donut said to Tucker. Tucker said nothing, just looking at Donut. "Yeah… OK." Donut said.
"Everyone in the division was paired with an AI and codenamed for a state." Tex said to everyone. "What was your codename, Tex?" Donut said not realizing that Texas was her codename. Tex decided to have fun with it and said to Donut. "Nevada."
"One for each state? So there's 50 of you." Tucker said to Tex and she said. "49. Remember?"
"Ooh, yeah. That's right. Man. Poor Florida." Tucker said as everyone knows Florida was destroyed thanks to a Tsunami and taking it out to sea. They all had a moment of silence and then Tex said to Tucker. "Well. I'll make you a deal. I still owe you one. SO if I take care of Wyoming, we're square. Deal?"
"You realize that you want to protect me from a guy who's trying to kill me. What am I gonna say? "No"?" Tucker said and Tex took that as a yes.
The Nexus
At the nexus they were trying to figure out how to get in contact with the others. "Eureka's hammer! I got it!" Sarge said as he finally had an idea. "What is it Sarge?" Jack asked Sarge. "I put a Listing device on one of the suits of armor I bult. We could use that to find out where they are." Sarge said to everyone.
"If we use that Listing device, we can figure out where the rest of our team is." West said as he got ready to trace the attached Listing device. Jack then said to West. "You don't care that we planted a Listing device on your teammates."
"Oh, please. All you guys would hear was Church yelling, Tucker talking about his fake sex life and Caboose destoying things or steing things of fire."
"How bad can Caboose be?" Jack said to West and West said. "He can set anything on fire, even water. Water!"
"How in the-" Jack said, before West stopped him. "Don't ask, you'll hurt yourself trying to figure it out."
"But which one, Sarge? Isn't one a huge bomb?" Simmons asked Sarge. West stopped and said to them. "You planted a BOMB in the ARMOR! What is wrong with you?"
"Nothing, it was a plan to kill the Blues." Sarge said and West said to him. "How big of a bomb?"
"Fifty megaton bomb." Sarge said and Simmons said. "It's actually ten sir."
"You idiots! A bomb that big will kill everyone in the cannon, not just the Blues." West said, slamming his fist onto the keypad. "Yeah. wouldn't turn that on. Or maybe I should. That way we could follow the enormous explosion and huge plumes of smoke directly to them! It'd be just like a homing device! But Indian style." Sarge said to West.
"I assume what you mean sir, is directly to the creator that they left." Simmons said to Sarge. "And the charcoal skeleton in the creator." Jack said to Sarge. "Though crudely delivered I see your point. Let's go with the listening device." Sarge said to them. "Great idea sir." Simmons said to Sarge. "Yes, it was." Sarge said to Simmons.
"Can I push the button to make it go? Please?" Caboose asked Sarge. "OK, Caboose. But just this once." Sarge said to Caboose as he pulled out a remote. "Ya thanks." Caboose said as he walked to Sarge
"This is going to be bad." West said as Caboose praised the button. "What a little rascal." Sarge said. "I pushed the button." Caboose said to everyone. "Stay away from him, he's mine." Simmons said to Caboose. "Creepy." Jack said, as they started to hear a voice on their radios.
"Man, I hate this. This sucks." the voice said. "It's Church!" Caboose said. "No, sounds too positive to be Church." West said to Caboose. "I just wanna lay around and do nothing." the voice said. "I think it's Grif!" Sarge said. "No sounds too energetic to be Grif." Jack said to Sarge. "Right after I take this nice, warm, bubble-bath." The voice said. "Donut!" The reds said at the same time.
"I got to ask, is Donut really a woman with a voice filter." West said, as he turned into the signale of Donut's radio and Jack said. "Sometimes we have no idea."
"Ok? I got a connection set up with him? Her? Whatever." West said to Sarge.
"Come in, Donut, come in. Donut, do you read me? Come in." Sarge said as he called Donut over the radio. And Donut responded. "Sarge, you gotta help me! You left me with one blue, but now there are three!"
"Vic was right, it was a trap all along! Listen, Donut. Vic Told me all about the Blue plot. That fella Tucker is gonna make up things! Craaazy things, about the Red and Blue! You can't listen to him, you just can't!" Sarge said to Donut, over the radio. "Sarge, what should I do?" Donut asked Sarge, over the radio.
"Don't let him catch on that you know. Just act like you normally do. Wait, not like you. Act like someone more brave! And smarter. And more masculine, for God's sake." Sarge said to Donut, over the radio. "Okey-dokey Sarge." Donut said to Sarge, over the radio.
"He's a dead man, Jack and Simmons." Sarge said to them. "I thought he was a dead man, when we left him alone with the Blues living tank. A tank that probably remembers Donut being the one that wrecked it last time." Jack said to Sarge. "Blue Try to open a teleporter to them. I'll see if I can locate the other armor." Sarge said as he held out the remote
"Yeah! More button pushing!" Caboose said as he took the remote from Sarge. West got up and said to him, as he tried to take it. "Caboose, why don't you give it to me."
"No, I can find Church." Caboose said to West. "Caboose don't touch that!" Simmons said to Caboose. "This is the button to find Church!" Caboose said as he pressed the button. "Uh oh. That's not gonna be good." Sarge said. "Did he just do what I think he did?" Simmons asked. "Yep." Jack said to Simmons.
"Church is going to be so happy with me!" Caboose said and West said to him. "Actually Caboose he's going to hate you more for killing him a third time."
Frozen Wasteland
In the Jail cell Church let out a very large, long burp. "Nice. I bet I can beat it." Grif said to Church, as a ticking noise appeared. "Oh, I wonder what caused that." Church asked. "Hey Church, do you know your stomach is ticking?" Grif asked Church, who didn't know that his robot body had a bomb inside it's gut and the countdown had already begun.