Chapter 4
Frozen Wasteland
In the cell, while Church's stomach was still ticking, Grif was trying to confives the guards he was one of them. "Guys I'm Red too! I'm red! I don't even know this guy. C'mon, let me out!"
"Thanks for the support, Grif. way to be a team player." Church said to Grif. "Hey, I gotta think about myself, here." Grif said to Church. "There's no I in team, Grif." Church said to Grif. "Yeah, and there's no U either. So I guess if I'm not on the team and you're not on the team, Nobody's on the goddamn team! The team sucks!" Grif said to Church.
"What I can't figure out is why the Reds are still here. Tex already wiped out all the Blues. Why wouldn't they just pull out?" Church asked. "As someone whose taken orders from Red Command for the last three years, trust me, it's not that surprising." Grif said to Church.
The Nexus
"Okay, we traced the bomb activation signal to Sidewinder." Simmons said and West said. "We? I did all the work with Jack's help. While you all just stood around and complained."
"Whatever. How much time do we have left, Sarge?" Simmons said to West and Asked Sarge.
"Everyone here is set to transport." Donut said to everyone, threw the radio. "I'm not going through that thing. I'm serious." Tucker said to Donut, over the radio.
"We need to get there as soon as possible. Did you set their teleporter to take them straight to Sidewinder?" Sarge asked Simmons, but West said to him. "I gave Donut the steps on how to do it, but he was watching a butterfly at the time. So they have a fifty-fifty of ending up in Sidewinder, or floating in deep space forever."
"But what about us Blue?" Sarge asked West and he said to him. "I followed the steps down to the last details, so we'll be fine."
"I find the risks acceptable." Sarge said to West. "I agree." Jack said. "I never knew a Phillip screwdriver was the X one. Do you think it's named after a guy named Phillip? That guy Phillip must have a fucked-up shaped head!" Donut said over the radio. "Yeah, screw this, I'm walking." Tucker said over the radio.
"All right then, saddle up! Don't worry, Grif and Church! Here comes the cavalry!" Sarge said, pulling out his shotgun and ran into a teleporter while screaming.
"Wait! Sarge!" West said as Sarge reappeared in the Nexus. West then said to him. "The teleporter to Sidewinder is that one." West then pointed to the Teleport behind Caboose.
"Oh, well. Heads up evildoers! Here we come to save the- Aw, forget it, let just go." Sarge said to everyone, as they went into the right teleporter
Frozen Wasteland
While everyone was headout to save Grif and Church, Grif was singing a prison song, terribly. "Will you shut up?!" Church said to Grif, having had enough of Grif's singing. "You just can't face the facts that I've adjusted to life on the inside! I'm hard now!" Grif said to Church. "Please gimme a break." Church said to Grif. "As a prison bitch, I would not expect you to understand." Grif said to Church, before they heard gunshots outside.
"What's goin' on out there?" Church asked. "Aw, man! Maybe our crew's come to bust us out of the joint! I don't know if I can live on the outside anymore though, Church. I'm all institutionalized and shit." Grif said to Church. "I don't know. Sounds like whoever's fighting them is winning. It can't possibly be our guys." Church said to Grif.
"Hey Screw! Aren't you gonna go help your buddies? Oink-Oink?" Grif said to the guard. The guard then left, and got killed. Then the guy with the Australian accent and white armor appeared in front of the guys cell. "Hello, church." the man said to Church. "Wyoming? What are you doing here?" Church asked the guy in white. "Been hired to do a job with your little friend Tucker. Seems he's discovered some information that someone else isn't happy about." Wyoming said to Church.
"Who's this cracker?" Grif asked Church. "Ah, he's just some scumbag bounty-hunter that was in the same division as Tex." Church said to Grif. "Ah yes. Dear Tex. After I take care of your little friend Tucker, I'll be taking care of her as well." Wyoming said to Church. "When I get outta here…" Church said to Wyoming, but Wyoming interrupted him. "But you won't! Everyone here is dead now. No one even knows where you are. So I suppose now, you'll have to starve to death. Huh huh, cheerio." Wyoming said to Church, before leaving.
"We gotta find a way to escape, Grif." Church said to Grif. "If only we had bed sheets." Grif said to Church. "There's no window. What good is tying together bedsheets gonna do us?" Church asked Grif. "Who said anything about tying them together? I wanna take a nap! If I have to die of hunger I wanna do it in my sleep."
Blood Gulch
At Blood Gulch Everyone was ready to go through the teleporter, with Sheila wishing them luck. "Good luck everyone. Take care! I packed you all lunches for the trip." Sheila said to everyone. "Thanks Sheila! That was really nice of you." Tucker said to Sheila. "Not really. All my bag had was an air filter and a thermos fill of brake fluid." Donut said to Tucker. "Make sure to wash your exhaust pipes everyday." Sheila said to everyone. "Bye Sheila we'll come back for you soon!" Tucker said to Sheila. "I'll be waiting!" Sheila said to them, as they left her.
Frozen Wasteland
"Okay, here they come." Simmons said to everyone. "Finally." Jack said, as Tex appeared and left. Then Donut. "Yeah! I knew I could fix a teleporter. I guess these hands aren't just for manicuring after all!" Donut said. "No, they are just for manicuring." Jack said to Donut
"OW! CRAP!" Tucker said as he came out of the teleporter and was covered in black the black stuff from File 1. Simmons then said to him. "What's all that black stuff on your armor?"
"Just me? What the fuck?" Tucker asked. "Tucker! I am so glad to see you! Here, let me help you clean your armor off. By rubbing you all over." Caboose said to Tucker as the two of them left. "Oooh! Let me help!" Donut said. "Absolutely! Admiral Butter-crust!" Caboose said to Donut.
Meanwhile outside. Wyoming was using a sniper rifle as a telescope looking for Tucker. "Hmm, I don't see him. Perhaps they disguised him somehow. Well played!" Wyoming said to himself, as Tex found him. "Gotcha."
"So what's the plan, Sarge?" Simmons asked Sarge. "First, we need to locate Church and get the bomb defused. Then we can find Lopez, download our plans and get back to fighting the blues." Sarge said to Simmons. "And find Grif?" Simmons asked Sarge. "What?" Sarge asked. "And we also need to find Grif. Right sir?" Simmons asked Sarge. "We don't have to do that." Jack said.
"Well, not every plan is perfect. So I suppose we could accidentally find Grif along the way." Sarge said to everyone. "But do we really need to? I mean it's Grif." Jack
Back in the cell Church and Grif were talking. "Okay, Grif. I've been putting something off that I can do to help us escape but I gotta warn ya: it might scare ya a little bit." Church said to Grif. You want scary? You should try showering in cell block C. Those guys are animals." Grif said to Church. "Alright, here goes." Church said as the cell opened. "You opened the doors? That wasn't scary at all." Grif said to Church. "What? I didn't do that. Somebody on the outside must have done it. Alright let's go." Church said, as they left. "Freedom! It smells so sweet! Let's go rob a liquor store on the way home!" Grif said to Church.
Back with the others, Caboose and Donut finished cleaning Tucker. "There. You are all clean." Caboose said to Tucker. "Thanks, but you didn't need to spend so much time on the codpiece, Donut." Tucker said. "A three-coat waxing is just my way of saying I care." Donut said to Tucker.
Meanwhile Wyoming found Tucker with the sniper rifle. "Well… there we are mate." Wyoming said. "Hello, Wyoming. Why don't you stop pointing that gun at my friend?" Tex said, making Wyoming notice Tex was standing nearby with an assault rifle pointed at him. "Allison! Good to see you!" Wyoming said, as he threw his sniper rifle down, and turned to Tex.
"How's our dear friend Omega?" Wyoming asked Tex. "You tell me? He hired you, didn't he?" Tex asked Wyoming. "Now, how did you know that?" Wyoming asked Tex. "When someone lives in your head for a few years, you get to know him. Where is he?" Tex asked Wyoming. "Oh, he'll be along shortly." Wyoming said as they huard the sound of a shotgun pumping behind Tex. "Very shortly." Wyoming said to Tex, as he lowered his arms. "Awh crap." Tex said as she dropped her weapon. All the while O'Malley was laughing.