Character ages: Levi - 34; Natalie - 29; Erwin - 39; Hange - 31; Eren & 104th - 18
Another week of intensive writing, my lovelies, though I am taking a break this weekend. The Marley arc is in full swing and we're getting some very interesting developments, that's all I will say for now. I hope you're all enjoying the story and look forward to getting a lot of action in a few chapters, because we're coming up on the Liberio raid :D
As always my lovelies, go ahead and enjoy this chapter and don't forget to toss me a little review, to let me know what you think~ ;)
P.S. All Attack on Titan characters belong to Isayama Hajime. I only own my OCs.
35. Motives
~ 853 ~
"Will you stop messing with that?"
Pouting at Levi chastising her, Natalie did her best to once again pull the hat properly over her hair.
"It's not my fault that my hair keeps slipping out."
She had never before thought her rare hair color – which she was otherwise very proud of – would be something that could endanger her life by making her so easily recognizable to her enemies. Kiyomi had promised to help her dye it for the duration of their stay in Marley, however she couldn't do that until they reached her estate on the mainland.
"Here, perhaps this will help." Yelena offered, approaching her with a few hairpins in hand which she used to secure the hat, while making sure every hair strand was hidden from sight. "Better?"
"Much better. Thank you, Yelena." the redhead nodded, lightly tugging on the hat to make sure it stayed in place.
"My pleasure." the woman smiled subtly. "Enjoy your trip; I assure you it will be quite enlightening. And please... do offer my regards to Zeke when you see him."
"I'll try, I can at least promise that."
It had been almost a full year since Kiyomi's first visit to their island, and the woman had diligently not only mediated between them and Zeke, but also worked tirelessly to improve the island's standing with other nations. At least, that was as far as they were aware; it wasn't like they had any way of seeing for themselves. But then Kiyomi had at last arrived one day saying that everything had been taken care of, and that she could smuggle a handful of them onto the mainland.
With another subtle smile Yelena waved to her, just when Levi grabbed her hand to pull her along after Hange called out to tell them they were supposed to board.
"Try not to get too close to that one." he warned once they were out of earshot. "She gives me the creeps... and that's not something most people can do."
"Are you sure you're not just over-thinking things?" Natalie smiled, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. "Because we're going to see Zeke again?"
His side-eye glare almost had her burst into proper laughter, but she bit into her tongue to hold it back. There was no point in pissing him off any more than he already was.
"Relax..." she said as they stood by the rail, watching the ship pulling out of the harbor. "I know you're nervous, but... the truth is their cities aren't that different from ours. We'll be fine..."
Though he didn't respond she felt his thumb stroking the back of her hand, and realized that he could tell she had said that more to herself than to him. And the way he just silently held her gaze even when she tried to put on a calm smile, ultimately had her sigh while she turned her eyes almost in embarrassment to the island shrinking on the horizon.
"Alright, alright... yes, I'm nervous. I've only ever seen that place through someone else's eyes. But this time it will be real; this time we'll be on their territory; this time the risk of getting caught in who knows what trouble won't be something I can just not worry about."
Again Levi said nothing, but the way he shifted his grasp to thread his fingers between hers told her more than he could have spoken. It reminded her that she wasn't alone, that he was there with her, that no matter what happened he would make sure she was safe.
It was almost noon by the time they arrived to the mainland harbor, and already Natalie could recognize the city stretching beyond. It looked exactly like in her other self's memories, just like she had seen it through Kasimir's eyes as well. And the bustling crowds perusing the stalls lined up along the pier did nothing to lower the anxiety bubbling in her chest. Having joined them on the boat, Onyankopon took the lead as their guide while she eyed the military vessel anchored near their own.
"It looks the same..." she heard Erwin and looked up to find the Commander standing next to her, his eyes sweeping over the busy market. "Just like Bertholdt's memories."
"This is where they left from, when they came to us." she nodded, again eyeing the two soldiers talking on deck.
Following her gaze to the ship, Erwin startled her when he weighed a hand on her shoulder to pull her along. Only then did she notice the others had gone ahead, Levi waiting for them a few steps further.
"Come... we're falling behind."
With those words he guided her back to the group and soon Onyankopon managed to ease the atmosphere by treating Eren, Armin and Mikasa to some ice cream.
"Good, isn't it?" he smiled while they marveled at the dessert.
"It's so sweet and light." Mikasa agreed, breaking out into a smile that again only reminded Natalie how young they still were.
"I think it's the first time she's smiled like that, without thinking of Eren." the redhead commented, drawing Levi's attention to the brunette.
His half snort – which Natalie understood as his attempt to hold back a laugh – brought out a giggle of her own, and when she wrapped her arm around his he at last seemed to relax a bit in the face of her reassuring smile.
"You're too tense." she whispered. "Just think of this as a vacation."
"One hell of a break... where we could die at any time, if anyone blows our cover."
"Alright, Mr. Grumpy." the redhead rolled her eyes, before pressing closer to him with that loving expression he adored. "I love that you're so cautious and dedicated to keeping everyone safe, but you deserve a break from that every now and then. Let someone else worry about it for a change."
She would have said more to try and get him out of his work mindset, however the old couple that stopped near them drew both of their gazes.
"Oh my, young love." the woman smiled kindly, looking over to her husband. "Don't they look just like we used to, dear?"
With the old man nodding while chuckling under his thick white mustache, Natalie glanced sideways to find that Levi had pulled the hat over his eyes as if trying to hide inside it. But she could tell from his reddened ear that he was blushing, and she laughed in spite of the warmth she could feel in her own face.
"Thank you, that's very kind of you to say." she replied. "Don't mind my fiancé, he's... shy."
"Oh not to worry, dear." the woman shook her head. "My Arnold was the same back when we were younglings like you. You don't look like you're from around here."
When Levi tensed at her side, the redhead instinctively squeezed his arm closer which only made the couple chuckle again, thinking they were just being affectionate.
"No, actually... we're from up north." she replied, hoping she didn't sound panicked or anything but sincere. "A little village in the mountains, called Tafort. We're here visiting some friends who left a few years ago. They thought we should... get out more; see more of the world while we're young."
"That sounds like a lovely place, and like good friends."
"Yes, it's a really tight-knit community." Natalie nodded, grateful beyond words for her other self's memories of that place. "It's not easy living up there, but we're happy with what we have."
"Hey, you two... don't fall behind."
Startled by the sudden voice, Natalie glanced over to see Onyankopon walking towards them with a smile, clearly intending to herd them back to the group.
"It's really busy today, you'll get lost."
"It's alright, it's our fault." the woman nodded with another smile. "We'll leave you younglings be... come on, dear."
With that she linked arms with her husband and waved at them before they walked away. As if on cue Levi freed his arm to wrap it around the redhead's shoulders, almost like predicting that she was about to lean against him with a sigh of relief.
"You need to be more careful; you can't talk to just anyone around here." Onyankopon said on a low tone, casting a cautious glance around. "Some people aren't what they seem to be..."
"Spies?" Levi inquired, getting his answer from the man's nod.
"I don't think those two were like that..." Natalie sighed, waiting for her heartbeat to settle. "Still, it's a good thing I had those memories otherwise we might've actually been in trouble."
"Well, come on... let's get back to the others for now." Onyankopon suggested.
"A vacation, huh?" Levi taunted her, side-eyeing the redhead as she again linked arms with him.
"Oh shush..." she pouted, smacking his arm playfully.
=0=0=
"There... you hardly look like yourself. Anyone who doesn't get a close look at your face shouldn't be able to tell who you are."
Having just finished washing her hair, Natalie had been standing in front of the mirror with Kiyomi who looked quite proud of the result of her work. The young woman's once fiery strands were now black as night, though Kiyomi had assured her it was a temporary effect which would go away after a few more washes. She had asked how the dye was made, but Kiyomi had only told her it was a special powder produced in her home country which made up the coloring paste when combined with a mixture of harmless chemicals.
"Lady Kiyomi... it is almost dinner time." a male voice came from the hallway, after a soft knock on the door.
"Tell everyone we'll be right there, Lenz."
"Yes."
With that answer Natalie listened to his footsteps growing more and more distant in the hallway, as she sat on the chair Kiyomi directed her to.
"Do you have any children, Miss Kiyomi?" she at last inquired while the woman was brushing her hair, eyeing the wistful smile on her lips in the mirror.
"I had a little girl when I first married... some three decades ago."
Somewhat surprised that she was actually willing to open up, Natalie pondered whether or not to press the issue; something in the woman's voice told her it wouldn't be a happy story.
"You remind me of her in some ways." she spoke again, before the redhead could decide. "She too was intelligent and principled... and strong willed to the point of almost being disrespectful."
"I apologize for speaking so harshly to you that day." Natalie replied, grateful that she had a chance to try and mend things.
"Don't. All you did was to put a mirror in front of me and show me how monstrous and inhumane I was, by suggesting that Zeke's plan was a good thing. I'm sure my daughter would have done the same, had I said such horrible things to her."
"Is she...?"
"No longer with us? Yes..."
"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to pry."
"She wanted more from life than following in my footsteps, so she studied to become a nurse." the woman continued, before Natalie could finish her apology; she didn't really know why she was telling her all of it, but perhaps it was out of a need to have someone listen. "Then two years ago, when the war between Marley and the Mid-East Allied Forces began, the alliance recruited many doctors and nurses from all eastern countries to help on the front. I begged her not to leave, but I knew there was no stopping her. She too was brave and feared nothing, like you; she got her wish and left Hizuru. Last year, two months prior to my visit to your island, I received a letter that she was gone. A Marleyan night raid dropped Titans on the hospital she was working in; no one survived."
It took all Natalie had, to not blurt out a question about whether Zeke had been involved. After thinking it over and debating the Shiganshina incident with the others, after she had described the peculiar dazed look on the victims' faces, they had concluded that Zeke had to somehow be involved with creating all those Titans. And now this incident sounded too similar for her tastes, however turning Kiyomi against Zeke wasn't an option for the moment. They still needed both of them working together, so she bit into her tongue and did her best to keep her expression in check.
"I'm so sorry... I can't imagine what it's like to lose a child."
"Such is war; the young perish and the old linger." Kiyomi replied matter-of-factly, before sighing lightly. "She got to do what she loved, to help those around her until her last moment. And for that at least, I am grateful."
"Is she the reason you're helping us?"
At that question Kiyomi's hands froze for a moment in the middle of tying her hair up in a bun, and Natalie was astounded at the plethora of emotions that crossed her face in a heartbeat. But she remained silent until she was done, and only then fixed Natalie's gaze with her own in the mirror, her hands coming to rest on the young woman's shoulders.
"I can never forgive Marley for taking my daughter from me!" she said, and once again she was the stoic, hardened leader of her family. "I will help Zeke, I will help you, I will help Paradis... I will help anyone who can destroy them! If this is to be my legacy, then so be it."
All of a sudden she seemed overwhelmingly strong in both presence and willpower, and Natalie felt both reassured and frightened by the thought. She had no doubt Kiyomi wasn't someone to be trifled with, no matter how kind and meek she made herself appear in front of others. At that her eyes moved to Kiyomi's hands still grasping her shoulders, and she couldn't stop the fear that again someone was trying to turn her into a puppet for their own goals.
"No one can control you... I won't let them!" Eren's promise replayed in her head, though it did little to soothe her.
=0=0=
"So what did you think of today?" Onyankopon inquired, not without a measure of humor in his tone, as the group gathered in the spacious living room after dinner. "Was the outside world all you imagined it to be?"
The heavy silence and forlorn stares which followed his questions seemed out of place, given the pleasant afternoon they had all shared.
"I wonder... how do they know?" Eren muttered, his eyes roaming over everyone in the room.
"What is it?" Kiyomi spoke up, turning her gaze to him. "If you have any questions, I will do my best to answer them."
"I... I'm curious just... how does Marley keep track of Eldians? All the people we saw at the market today look to be from the same race as us."
"It's quite a simple method, really; blood tests. Along with the advancement of technology and medicine, these tests have become more and more accurate. The existence of Eldians who have escaped the internment zones all over the Continent has been acknowledged and has become an international issue."
"Doctors make good spies..." he murmured again, recalling what he had heard in his father's memories.
"Yes, they do." Onyankopon agreed. "Doctors are some of the most valuable allies you can have in this war over races and ideologies."
"When the former Eldian Empire was prosperous, to have the blood of a Subject of Ymir was considered a sign of nobility in many countries." Kiyomi continued with a nod of agreement to his words. "With the decline of the empire, leaders of all countries that were once servile to the Eldians decided to chase them away from their territories. This is the reality faced by Eldians outside the Walls. The same goes for the plan to establish friendships with other nations... I cannot help but point out how exceedingly difficult that is."
"So..." Armin spoke up after another lengthy, suffocating silence. "Does that mean we have to agree with Zeke's plan? That we have to entrust our fate to him? That we have to sacrifice Historia and her children?"
"No." Natalie at last spoke from where she had been standing at the window, looking out at the city's lights in the dark night.
Turning to find everyone watching her, she paused for a moment to wonder if it was really their best option or not.
"The best option I can see at the moment, is for Eren and me to meet with Zeke first." she said, looking to Erwin for confirmation that she wasn't on the wrong track. "We'll discuss this plan with him in as much detail as time will afford us. Then we can make a decision."
"And should you conclude that his plan is not what you wish?" Kiyomi prodded her. "What happens then?"
"Let's cross one bridge at a time, shall we? The truth is that we're talking about a man none of us know in the least... all we know about him are his abilities and that he came to us as our enemy. I want to know Zeke Jaeger... I want to see Zeke Jaeger... I won't jump to a decision blindly, no matter who tries to force me into that."
"Of course, we are here to try and avoid having to sacrifice anyone." Erwin at last nodded from behind his interlocked fingers, seeing the redhead visibly relaxing. "I too wish to hear what Zeke Jaeger has to say, from his own mouth."
"Should I then seek to arrange a meeting?" Kiyomi inquired.
"As soon as you can; we would be grateful." the Commander agreed. "Natalie will be the one discussing with him, as he requested."
"Um... Commander..." Armin intervened, speaking only once the man had nodded his approval to him. "Could we maybe try the conference first?"
"The International Speech Forum?" Onyankopon chimed in. "What do you want to do there?"
"Could we somehow be allowed to speak there? Miss Kiyomi has been a great help so far, but perhaps hearing it from us directly that we want peace... maybe that can still sway people."
"I admire your courage, however... that is a terrible idea." Kiyomi sighed. "Should anyone learn where you come from, you wouldn't even be given the chance to speak. They would kill you all on the spot."
"Do you think the People of Ymir Preservation Society would be willing to take up their cause to the forum?" Onyankopon again spoke, after a moment of deliberation with himself.
"The ideology of this group still isn't acknowledged, you know that." the woman replied, prior to turning back to Erwin. "However, if you wish me to, I could attempt to arrange a meeting with them and inquire whether they would be willing to speak for Paradis' desire for peace."
"We would be greatly indebted to you, Miss Kiyomi." the Commander nodded.
His intuition told him it would be a fruitless endeavor, but one more attempt at diplomacy couldn't hurt. However, as Natalie too feared, he felt it more and more that peace would not be an option for them in the future. That they would ultimately be forced to become the devils everyone believed them to be.
~ oOo ~
~ Two days later ~
"You asked to see me, Lady Kiyomi?"
"Lenz..." the woman nodded, waiting until he had stepped into the office and closed the door before she spoke again. "How are the preparations going?"
"Zeke Jaeger has agreed to meet with us three days from now. He said it is the earliest he could find a window of time to slip away unnoticed."
"Good. I must admit I am curious to see how they will fare face to face."
Nodding in agreement at her statement, the bodyguard remained silent while she took that moment to watch him as though seeking something in his expression.
"...Will that be all, ma'am?" he at last spoke up, as always feeling slightly unsettled under her stare.
"Sit." she replied on a gentler tone she only ever reserved for him; once he had complied, she clasped her hands and paused for a heartbeat before continuing. "What do you make of our visitors?"
"I would not presume to pass judgment on the people under your roof, ma'am."
"You can be honest with me, Lenz." Kiyomi smiled. "You know how much I value your insight."
Though still somewhat hesitant, the man found himself without a choice; he couldn't very well disobey a direct command from her.
"So far they seem trustworthy. Their actions have been in line with their words; for the moment at least, I see no danger from them."
"What about that Captain of theirs?"
As much as he tried to keep a poker face, the particular glimmer in his eyes didn't escape Kiyomi.
"Isn't he related to you and the others?" she pressed on.
"Distantly, most likely. However, I doubt this would have any bearing on his mind the same as it has none on mine."
"Lenz..." she sighed, and in her tone he recognized her scolding him as she sometimes did for his own good. "Even a distant relative is still family. He seems like a reasonable man... I'm certain deep down he would be grateful to know he has other relatives here. As far as we know, he and Mikasa are the only Ackermans left on that island. In this world, ever in turmoil, family is often the best support we have. You should talk to him..."
'I will not place all of my hopes on Zeke Jaeger.' she mused.
Zeke was far too much of a potential liability, because she had no strings available to puppeteer him. But if she could do that with Levi through Lenz and the others... then she could ensure that Natalie and perhaps even Eren would be more willing to listen to her.
'It's a good thing...' she reassured herself. 'It is only insurance in case Zeke is planning to betray us.'
"...What is it you are trying to say, ma'am?" Lenz at last spoke up again, and her well trained ear picked up on the subtle suspicion in his tone.
"Only that family is family, regardless of where it comes from." she smiled.
At last understanding what the woman wanted from him, Lenz stood and offered a polite bow before leaving the office. He had told her that it had no bearing on his mind that Levi was family, and yet he found himself hesitant in complying with Kiyomi's unspoken command now. Perhaps talking to the young Captain was actually what he needed to do... perhaps it would help him reach a decision.
And so that evening, finding Levi alone in the living room with a book, he approached to set a steaming teacup down on the table next to the armchair. Startled from his lecture, Levi glanced at the cup before his eyes took in Lenz as he went to sit in the armchair across from him with his own tea.
"I apologize for disturbing you, Captain." he said, watching as Levi set down the book clearly aware of his intention to strike up a conversation. "I will not take much of your time."
For the duration of a heartbeat they silently regarded each other, neither looking like they wanted to be the one to start talking.
"I suppose... I'm curious in regards to you." he at last spoke in the deep silence, earning a confused frown from Levi. "You are of the same bloodline as I am, after all."
"If you were hoping to surprise me with this, I'm sorry to disappoint; I already knew. About you and the others..."
"...How?" Lenz replied, a twitch of the brow betraying that for once he found himself caught unprepared.
"Natalie told me."
His matter-of-fact reply left Lenz's mind blank for a moment as he tried to set his thoughts in order. It had truly shaken him to his core to learn that anyone other than Kiyomi knew of his Ackerman blood. But more than even that, his focus was drawn to Levi's tone lacking any hint of uncertainty. Yet Levi himself had already sensed the change in the air at the mention of the redhead's name, even before the man found his words.
"...Do you trust her?"
"With my life." he replied without a moment's hesitation, though the gleam in his eyes told Lenz that he was already wondering where this conversation was going.
"And do you truly believe that she is the key to a better future, like your Commander told Lady Kiyomi?"
"So would you, if you had seen all I've seen her do."
Something told him that Lenz had no ill intent, and yet he felt the need to keep his guard up without divulging anything too detailed about Natalie. He couldn't put his finger on why, he just felt it.
"A Titan leading us to a better future, huh...?" Lenz contemplated, staring into his teacup with a pensive expression.
"She's not a Titan; she's Natalie. She's a soldier of the Survey Corps. She's an intelligent and brave woman."
His words seemed to strike something within Lenz, if the way the man's eyes darted back to him was anything to go by.
"I see..." the bodyguard replied after a lengthy silence, as though having realized something, his tone gaining a bittersweet soft note. "You love her."
At last sipping his tea, he once again regarded the young Captain in silence as though seeking something from him.
"Look out for her, Levi... look out for her with those around you."
As though his words had flipped a switch in him, Lenz could see his gaze sharpening and knew he had caught the true meaning of those words. He regretted not being able to obey Kiyomi as he had ever since entering into her service, but his conscience would not let him manipulate those two.
"Why are you telling me this?"
The Captain's inquiry was followed by a deep silence, which Lenz only broke after taking another sip of tea and heaving a long breath.
"Because at my death, when I'll finally go to see my wife and daughter... I don't want to have any regrets."
~ oOo ~
It was late in the night, and the peaceful silence in the garden was filled only with crickets' chirps. Nothing was stirring other than a gentle breeze, playing amidst the leaves and flowers bathed in moonlight. Everything was so beautiful and surreal for Mikasa as she sat on one of the benches, where she had retreated that evening after dinner. Things were becoming more and more complicated, and she found herself again and again returning to one thought.
'I wish you were here, Eren...'
In light of what they knew now, Levi and Natalie's advice had been swirling around in her mind constantly those past days.
"When any day could be our last... is keeping your feelings from him really something you want to regret when you die?" she again heard the Captain's voice clear as day in her head.
It seemed now that none of their attempts for peace would succeed; that all paths could only lead them to war and bloodshed.
"He needs to know that you love him and you want him..."
Natalie was right; she had to talk to Eren about it! Whether or not it was the right time, she couldn't go on without telling him. Their future was much too uncertain to leave things to chance.
'I wish you were here, Eren...' she sighed to herself.
The sound of footsteps crunching on the gravel startled her out of contemplation and she looked over to where the pathway bent around one of the tall rose hedges, where a figure had just come into view.
'Eren!'
There he was; as if summoned by her thoughts, he was approaching with his gaze fixated on her. It was clear that he wasn't out for a stroll, that he had been looking for her and all too suddenly her heart started drumming in her ears, drowning out the rest of the world. When he sat next to her she briefly contemplated just running away, before realizing how childish that would have been.
"The moon is beautiful tonight, isn't it?" he said after a few moments of sitting with her in silence, bringing her back to reality.
At first all Mikasa could do was to stare at him without any answer; it was such an unexpected thing seeing Eren so calm and pensive. And for a reason that she couldn't point out, it made her heart beat even faster.
"Yeah..." she nodded at last, shrinking somewhat into her scarf.
"He needs to know..."
'Why do you have to be right all the time?' she pondered, barely holding back an audible sigh. "Eren—"
"Listen—"
Blinking at the fact that they had both spoken up at the same time, she was visibly startled by his chuckle and felt her cheeks heating up.
"Sorry... what is it? Did you need me for something?" she asked.
"You tell me."
His cryptic reply left her dumbfounded; even more so when she read it in his eyes that he perhaps knew already what she wanted to say to him.
"What... what does that mean?"
"I'm curious... when did you stop feeling like you could talk to me?" he pressed on, knowing by the way she blushed a shade deeper that he was on the right track. "You always look at me like you want to say something, but you never do. We used to talk about anything, didn't we?"
"That's... this isn't... I can't just..." she blurted out, unable to put her thoughts in coherent order.
"There's no one here other than us, Mikasa. Whatever you want to say, say it."
"I-I... I mean... alright..." she mumbled, taking a deep breath and drawing all the courage she could muster out of herself.
Even now all she had heard from Natalie and Levi was replaying in her head, and she knew they were both right. But damn it if she could untangle her tongue and just say it! To her great fortune, Eren himself had been thinking along the same lines. He had suspected what she truly felt for him ever since the last time they had sat together in a garden like that.
'Why won't you just say it?' he frowned lightly, watching as she fiddled with the ends of the scarf while trying to muster the courage to speak. 'What are you so afraid of, you idiot?!'
"I... have been thinking..." she at last stammered, and Eren almost expected her to start bawling with how her voice trembled. "About you... I-I mean... about... us... b-but..."
'I can't... I can't do this...' she panicked, feeling both exasperated with herself and terrified that if she didn't manage to say it, they would never have a future together. 'Why can't I just say it?!'
The sudden warmth of Eren's thumb trailing her skin startled her and made her realize her cheeks were wet with angry tears. And when she looked at him, the disappointment in his eyes crushed her. But then he startled her again when he pulled the scarf off, leaving her feeling uncomfortably naked under his piercing gaze.
"No more hiding." he said and all at once she realized it wasn't disappointment she had seen in his eyes; it was determination.
"I... I wasn't—"
"Yes you are! You're hiding from me... you're hiding from yourself... you're hiding from what you feel. Enough! Stop hiding!"
"I..." she gasped, only to suddenly come to a realization that took her breath away. 'He knows! He already knows... he just wants to hear it from me.'
As much as the thought frightened her, all at once an uncanny sense of conviction filled her entire being. This was the right time... the right time, and if she missed this chance she would never get another like it.
"Eren, I..." she said with an urgency that gave even him pause, reaching out to his face only to stop halfway. "Y-you're..."
"I'm...?" he goaded her. "What? Am I your brother?"
"No!" she almost yelled, gasping when he reached out to grab her by the arms as if to keep her from running away.
"Am I your family?"
"N-no..."
"Then what? Am I a child that you need to protect? Am I your friend? What am I to you?!"
"Y-you're... Eren..."
It only then dawned on her that her arms were hurting where he was squeezing them in a vice-like grip, and she could only be grateful that focusing on that pain helped her clear her head a little. But then she was stunned by the way his eyes blazed to life with emotion, eclipsing everything else around her; only when she tried to speak did she process that the soft warmth she felt against her lips came from his own. She could tell he was nervous in how clumsy and messy his kiss was. And yet he pressed on with such absolute resolution, with such relentless craving that she wouldn't ever have been able to imagine not wanting it. But she wouldn't have changed anything about it; not the way he so greedily pulled her closer until their bodies collided, not the way his hands wrapped her cheeks in a warmth that spread to the rest of her, not the way his heartbeat echoed in her chest in tune with her own.
"What am I to you?" he asked again once he had at last given her a chance to breathe, his gaze penetrating straight to her core.
"Eren..." she replied, at last sounding like she had regained some control of herself.
"Just Eren? What do you want me to be to you?"
At first she could only open her mouth without a sound coming from her, and again focusing on the feeling of his hands on her skin helped to clear her mind enough for her to finally speak coherently.
"Not just Eren... you're..." she said, pausing for a heartbeat to ponder how to put it into words. "You're everything. You're the man I admire, the man I love, the man I want to spend my life with."
It was shocking to her how easily the words came, now that she had started talking, like a river spilling through a broken dam.
"I've always loved you... as a brother at first, until I realized I was just lying to myself. That what I wanted from you was more than a brother, more than a friend... I... want you! All of you!"
At last she saw his own cheeks darkening with the blood rising in his face, and his expression softened in a way she had never seen before. What she did know was that it looked so strikingly similar to how Levi was always looking at Natalie; to how the Captain's expression had conveyed so much warmth and love on the day they had spoken. And it reminded her how she had wondered back then, if Eren would ever be able to make such a face while thinking of her. The next thing she knew her vision was filled with his shirt and she felt his arms around her, the weight of his chin atop her head.
"Thank you... Mikasa..."
Though she hadn't meant to cry, his words – the same ones he had said to her in the palace gardens – made her so happy that she couldn't contain herself. She had to wrap her arms about him and press herself closer to his warmth, hoping he wouldn't see her smiling like an idiot. But then he shifted just enough to cup her cheek and turn her eyes back to him, his gaze now so full of affection and his smile so tender and his touch so gentle that she thought it had to be a dream.
"Thank you..." he whispered again, his thumb tracing the line of her cheek before he at last released her and picked up the scarf from where he'd placed it on the bench next to him.
But when he went to wrap it around her she instinctively jolted back, and he paused for only a heartbeat before doing it anyway and using the fabric to pull her closer again.
"Didn't I tell you that day? I'll wrap this around you as many times as you want... over and over..." he said, leaning his forehead against hers as he stared into her eyes shimmering so beautifully in the moonlight. "I never wrapped this around you as your brother."
Finally his words seemed to soothe her fears and he smiled, only his whisper left on the breeze as he gave in to the temptation that was her lips.
"I love you."
Sooo today's replies for my lovely reviewers :D
1. MordredVisor - As always love, thank you so much for taking the time to leave feedback!
(ch. 35) - Yesssss we're finally meeting the rest of the cast. All I'm going to say is that Yelena will have a fairly important role to play in what's to come. And yes, Hizuru as a nation doesn't give a crap about Paradis outside of the resources. However, Kiyomi does have some personal investment in all of this. And sadly, as much as I adore Hange, I have to agree. They were not in any way the right choice for Commander. I think that was Erwin's one mistake in the entire series. Hange had the brains for it, but they didn't have the leadership and the imposing presence that Erwin had. I actually think Hange would have done a good job, if Levi had been there at their side. Because Levi doesn't want to lead, but he has the wits and can command an entire room just by walking in. So if he had been there, together with Hange they both could have replaced Erwin for the most part. And my opinion is that Isayama's decision to have Levi personally guard Zeke was a valid choice, but a rather obvious attempt to just remove him from the rest of the plot.
Now moving on to Historia, her issue is going to be very complex and very complicated. You'll see in the following chapters, but the issue of a royal blooded baby is going to give many people headaches for a while. And yes, it does kind of smell like a trap for Eren and Natalie to go see Zeke, but at the same time they don't really have a choice. Zeke is basically their only ally aside from Kiyomi, and if they could get him on their side that would be one less Titan for Marley and one more asset for Paradis (and quite the asset, if you consider how Zeke wrecked the Survey Corps in the canon series). So we're getting further from just fighting Titans, and more into political intrigue and secret agreements and alliances and all that.
As for Eren... well, he may surprise you yet! As for Historia wanting a family... no comment, I want her decision to be a surprise ;)
So these are my replies for today. Cheers, lovelies~ ( ˘ ³˘)❤