Chapter 9

Building By A Beach

After some driving the Reds and Blue made it to Tex's location. "What took you guys so long to get here?" Tex asked them. "There's eight of us, and this is only a three-seater jeep. Half of us had to sit on someone else's lap." Simmons said to Tex. "Yeah, and two of us had to pull here like we were on sikes." West said to Tex. "Oh come on West it wasn't that bad." Jack said to West. "Yes. It. Was." West said to Jack.

"It was a great road trip!" Donut said. "No it wasn't." West said to Donut. "My favorite part was when Grif tried to change gears, and he accidentally-." Donut said, but Griff interrupted him

"Please, let's not tell the story. Is there somewhere I can wash my hands?" Grif said and West said. "At least, you didn't crash into a rock when the driver suddenly stopped at a destroyed Mcdonalds."

"Shut up you idiots! What'd you find, Tex?" Sarge said to Tex and Tex said to them. "Well, O'Malley's holded up in this fortress. He's been fortifying his defenses for a few days now. And he's got some help. One of those religious nuts you guys picked up."

"Not one of those crazy people again." Jack said. "Oh I like them. They were funny." Caboose said. "Caboose, they tried to kill you because of a flag!" Tucker said to Caboose. "I try not to remember the bad thing about people." Caboose said to Tucker. "That's all they tried to do. There were no good things!" Tucker said. "Yeah all they did was shoot wildly and say random weird things." Jack said to Caboose. "But it's okay. I have a really bad memory. WOW LOOK A BEACH!" Caboose said, yelling the last part.

"Ignore the idiots Tex and please tell us your plan." West said and Tex said. "Well first we have to breach an outer wall."

"Ohh, I love breaching!" Caboose said over Tex. "Then we have to get past another wall."

"Two walls? Some people are so materialistic." Grif said over Tex. "The second wall has a guard tower and an enormous razor-sharp spinning blade."

"What, that thing? It's spinning like two miles an hour!" Simmons said over Tex. "I didn't say it'd be hard to get past. After that, we have to pass the gun turrets and break into the building."

"And then we attack O'Malley!" Sarge said over Tex. "No. That's where we plant this." Tex said point at a bomb that no one saw until just this moment.

"We're planting a volleyball?" Caboose asked. "It's not a ball, it's a bomb." Tex said to Caboose. "We're planting a volley-bomb?" Caboose asked. "NO!" West said to Caboose. "I scouted a location inside the base, where we can set it off and take the whole place down. I marked the spot with a big X." Tex said.

"You scouted it?" Tucker asked. "Yes." Tex said. "If you got past the two walls, the hugged spinning blade, the gan turrets and made it all the way into the fortress. Why didn't you just plant the bomb then, instead of putting an X on the floor?" Tucker asked and West said to her. "Yeah, it makes no sense, Tex."

"I can't carry it." Tex said quietly, surprising everyone, and asking her to repeat that. "It's too heavy. Okay. You happy? I need one of you idiots to carry it. I don't have the upper body strength to lift it on my own." Tex said. "See? Girls act like they're so tough but the first time they need someone to move a couch, who do they call?" Grif asked everyone. This made Tex turn to Grif, and while you couldn't see her eyes, you could tell they were giving him a death glare. "Please don't kill me. "Grif said tearor in his voice.

"Ahhh, go and kill him. We could use the armor for spare parts. Here, this thing doesn't look so heavy. Let me try." Sarge said as he tried to pick up the bomb, but it didn't move. Sarge then said to the guys. "That thing ain't moving."

"Infernape, why don't you give it a try." Jack said to Infernape. "Infernape." Infernape said, not seeing a problem, and walked to the bomb. But when he tried to pick it up, he couldn't get it to even move a little.

"I can carry it!" Caboose said to everyone, as he walked to the bomb. "I guarantee you'll need two people, or two Pokemon." Tex said and West said. "That won't be necessary. Caboose has crazy strength."

"Yeah, we think it's God's way of compensating. Tucker said as Caboose reached the bomb. "See." Caboose said, as he picked up the bomb and held it into the air. "GREAT PUAL'S BUNYAN, he's like an ox!" Sarge said in shock. "But I have no horns or lumberjack friends." Caboose said. "Come on, no wua it can be that bad." Grif said, as he walked towards Caboose. "Let me give it a..." Grif said, as he took the bomb from Caboose, only to drop it a second later. "Okay. you can carry it." Grif said to Caboose.

"Alright, then we'll storm in there, blow up O'Malley, leave Grif for dead, and maybe find some clues about what happened with Church and Lopez." Sarge said to everyone. "You mean your robot? He's in there with them." Tex said to Sarge. "Lopez is in the building?" Sarge asked Tex.

Inside the building, O'Malley, Doc and Lopez were complaining about the red they had. [That red guy is really starting to get on my nerves.] Lopez said. "He keeps asking me if I've accepted the flag as my savior. I'm just not comfortable talking about religion in the workplace." Doc said. "Oh no here he comes." O'Malley said, as the red walked up to them.

"Master! Headmaster! I have finished the duties you assigned me!" The red said to O'Malley. "You polished all the guns?" O'Malley asked. "Yes. And the ammunition too! It was like cleaning the impurities from my very essence." The red said. "What about the evil windmill?" O'Malley asked. "I greased the engine and filled it with gas. It was like giving my own soul a tune-up!" The red said. "Yes yes, alright, fine. Why don't you see about patching up some holes in the wall. I think there's some sinister spackle in the toolshed." O'Malley said

"Excellent idea sir! That'll probably help keep out the crowd of people and strange animals that's been gathering on the beach!" The red said before leaving. "Yes of course, all the people and strange animals on the beach… Blah blah blah blah blah. Wait. What did he say?" O'Malley asked.

Back on the beach, Tex said to the Red's minus Sarge and the Blue's minus Caboose. "Wait, let me get this straight. The biggest threat we know of is in that building and… You don't want me to blow it up?"

"We can't! We need Lopez's head. It has valuable information stored in it." Simmons said to Tex. "Just let him and the information blow up. Lozep said he would rather die than be on your team again." West said and Jack said. "How would you know?"

"He said so himself." West said and Jack said. "You can understand what he's saying?"

[Yes, and you would too if you all didn't have the brain of Carmorant's!] West said, but no one understood him.

"Yeah, I'm going with the bomb. But hey, here's an idea. Maybe you can find your buddy's head in the rubble when we've done." Tex said to them. "Come on we can't lift a bomb but we can dig through rubble?" Grif asked. "Yeah, this is a terrible deal." Jack said to Tex.

"Sorry. But there is no way I am letting O'Malley get away this time." Tex said and Tucker said to the Red's. "Just hire her."

"What?" Girf said a little confused. Tucker then said to them. "Hire her to help you get Lopez back. She'll do anything for money."

"That's not true." Tex said to Tucker and West said to her. "Tex, if someone gave you ten bucks, to uh…? Beat up Grif with his own arm."

"I paid to watch that." Jack said, pulling out a ten dollar bill. "Which one Grif ?" Tex said getting ready to attack Grif.

"See? She's not really even on the blue team. She was just paid to come help us." Tucker said to the Red. "He's Grif." Grif said to Tex, while pointing to Simmonos.

"Back on topic we have a problem with money." Jack said. "Yeah, how do we even pay her? We don't even have any money." Simmons said to everyone. "Well you don't, I do, cause I don't leave my wallet lying around for Grif to steal money out of it and use it to buy a happy meal from Mcdonalds that causes 100 dollars."

"We don't even know what money is in the future." Simmons said. "Yeah, they could have shells or laser beams for currency." Grif said. "Laser beams…" Simmons asked Grif. "Yeah that would be the coolest wallet ever." Grif said to Simmons. "You're not having a laser beam wallet." Jack said to Grif. [You guys are really stupid.] West said in Spanish, so he could let off some steam.

"Why don't you trade her a favor?" Tucker asked the Reds. "What?" Jack asked. "Have her do this for you and then you guys owe her a favor. That's how these Freelancers get stuff done. Right?" Tucker said. "That'll work! I'll help you and then the three of you have to do something for me." Tex said. "Ok, we'll do it." Simmons said to Tex. "I see no problem with this." Jack said to Tex. "Wait just a second." Grif said to the Reds.

"What would we have to do?" Grif asked Tex. "It all depends." Tex said. "Depends on what?" Grif asked "Ummm... What I need, to do some future job." Tex said. "But… It could be anything." Grif said. "That's right, anything." Tex said. "Like gay stuff?" Grif asked. "I have no idea." Tex said. "Well, can we rule out the gay stuff?" Grif asked. "Hey, how come I never get to help?" Donut asked.

Back with Sarge and Caboose, Sarge was giving Caboose some pointers, while Caboose was still holding onto the bomb. "No, no, what are you doing? Don't lift with your legs, your back's the strongest muscle in your body. And look man, your knees arent even locked. How do you expect to stand up straight? Come on! Put your groin into it! And stop exhaling on every lift the goal is to hold your breath for as long as possible. Under stress, the body produces all the oxygen it needs. Heeeeer. Grind it out." Sarge said.

"Can't I just lift this up once we are ready to go?" Caboose asked Sarge. "Yeah, I guess that makes sense." Sarge said, allowing Caboose to drop the bomb. Caboose did that and sighed in relief. "Ok! We're ready to go!" Tex said to everyone. "Carp." Caboose said, as the moment of relief passed.