Chapter 13

Blue Base

After the Blue team buried Tex and Church bodies, and West figured out how to turn off Lopez Spanish switch, past Church said to the others during the funeral. "Um… Maybe somebody should say something."

"Okay, go ahead." Tucker said and West said. "Yeah, you have the floor."

"Not me, jackasses. I'm not gonna eulogize myself." Past Church said and Tucker said. "What? Why not, I eulogize myself all the time."

"Tucker, eulogize means praise highly in speech or writing, not whatever you are thinking about." West said to Tucker and Caboose said. "Wait, I know how to do this- Dearly beloved."

"No, shut him up, seriously. Shut him up." Past Church said and West said to him. "Church, Tucker and I won't give you a eulogize. So if you want one, then shut up and listen." Church then growled and let Caboose say. "We are gathered here, today, to witness the joining together of Tex, and Church, in eternalness together, smuh- speak now! Or forever, rest in peace! With liberty, and justice for all. The end."

"Man, this funeral is laaaame. If you need me I'll be over by my rock." Tucker said as he left them. Past Church then said to West. "Hey West, can I have a piggy-back ride back to base?"

"No way. If you want a piggy-back ride, talk to Caboose." West said as he left. "At least help me paint my body blue." Past Church said as he followed West and West was ok helping Church with that.

The present Church watched this and said out loud. "Okay. I may not have been able to save myself or Tex, but I still have time to save everyday else if I can just keep the A.I. from getting in the Doc, Prevent Lopez and Sheila from forming their Robot Army, and somehow figure out a way to stop the war between the Reds and the Blues all together." Church said, listing what he had to do. "What if I… yeah, I'm going to need some help on this one." Church said, as he went into the base,

Some time later, while everyone else was outside playing, trying to figure out what features Lopez's body had. Church was inside looking for contact info for Blue Command. "Where the hell is that contact info for Blue Command. West should have it somewhere around here." Church said, as he went through West's room. "Here it is." Church said as he found the number for command, under a pile of paperwork from Blue Command.

"Okay, here we go." As he put the number in and called command. "Come in Blue Command, do you read me." Church said into his radio. And the person who answered him was Vic, giving one of his long hello's. "Uh yeah, this is, uh Flowers, that is Captain Butch Flowers." Church said. "Heyyy, Captain Flowers, how're you doing dude? Hey I heard I heard you died. Or you got promoted, wait a minute which one was it." Vic asked. "Uhm… Promoted." Church said. "Alright, great dude, how's that workin' out for you?" Vic asked.

"Good. Listen up Vic, I'm actually uh… whaddya call it, um intelligence now, military intelligence, yeah. And I un, I need help on a very top secret project, uh, that's very secret. And very top." Church said. "I'm all yours, dude. Me Vic Dude es tu Vice dude. In a ditideepti and all that." Vic said. "Here's what I need you to do. I need you to contact the Red Army, and have them send Medical officer DuFresne, as far away from here as possible." Church said too Vic.

"Red army, no no dude, last transmission I received that Medic was at Blue Base. Got it right in here in my log. No pun intended. Not sure what that means." Vic said. "Look it doesn't matter where he is, I just need him outta here. They're both the same to me." Church said. "Hello, dude, you're telling me that Red and Blue are the same now in Blood Gulch." Vic said. "Right, exactly, the sides don't matter." Church said to Vic.

Vic agreed with Church, and started to list off the things they needed to do to change. "Okay okay okay yeah, whaterever, just remember. This is top secret, so you can't let anybody know that I gave you these instructions, okay? Or that we even spike, don't even tell them that we talk together. You got it?" Church asked. "I will proceed accordingly dude, mum's the word. Actually bird is the word but the bird says mum. So we're gonna go with that. Over and out dude." Vic said before hanging up.

"Well that should take care of at least one problem." Church said. But Vic realised this was a problem and Vic made some phone calls. Church then walked outside to see the event's of the Reds giving Doc back to the Blues play out like before. Church thought this was Vics doing.

Some time later. The Blue's were arguing about upgrades for Sheila, so Church decided to talk to Lopez and Sheila, who were hanging out behind the base.

"Hey there Lopez, Shelia, you're both looking… uh very shiny today, uh, rust-free, and, anyway, uh-huh. The reason I'm up here talking to you guys is, I know we've had our differences in the past, you know with uh, the nut turning and the um possessing and stuff like that, Ah but I'm hoping we could put behind us 'cause i wanna talk to you about maybe some crazy ideas you might be havin up here? Like I dunno, say uh, starting your own robot army? And you know it's, it's something you should think about pretty seriously if you're thinking about doing it, um because it's hard to run an army, and you might not be aware that, It's a lotta it's a lot of logistics, a lot of rhetoric, um, you know it's un, you gotta have chain of command, and that stuff you know, it's it's ug when you have rank in, it puts friends against each other, that's not always a good thing. 'Cause it might seems like it's easy with only three people, even when those people are just robots- I don't mean, just robots, I mean, three, you have, you have three you have three people, that are, mechanized people, Mechanized, American um, and then, you know, it's uh, it's uuh, anyway you shouldn't do it. Bye!" Church said to them, before leaving.

[I don't trust that guy. He seems shifty.] Lopez said to Sheila. "Me neither, but I have to admit, I like his Robot Army idea." Sheila said to Lopez. [Me too. We should do that. I could build a one man flying vehicle with rocket launchers using the extra parts we have.] Lopez said. "Great idea. Let's hide it in the cave, so they won't find it." Sheila said to Lopez. [Agreed.] Lopez said.

"Well that felt good, I think we really connected." Church said, not realising that he just started the Robot Army. "Now, what'm I gonna do about those teleporters…" Church said, as he moved to Red Base.

At Red Base, while Donut was retracing his steps with Grif and Jack. Church was up top, tinkering with the Red's teleporter. "Jesus, what's that guy babblin' about down there, I thought Tucker was annoying." Church said, as he heard some water splash the Warthog.

"Oh let me clean the Warthog." Donut said to Jack. "No." Jack said to Donut. "Come on please?" Donut asked. "No!" Jack said, tossing the garden hose up, causing it to hit Church in the head. "Ow, and I thought West was a headache." Church said as he placed the hose next to the teleporter, not noticing the water coming out of the hose. "Okay, concentrate, just one more adjustment to make this teleporter and then we're done." Church said, as he put his tools away. "Oh hey look, here comes Sheila and Lopez." Church said, as he noticed Sheila coming at the Red Base.

"Oh they sure are coming fast… Hey they don't even seem to be stopping'. Uh oh." Church said, as Sheila crashed into the Red Base. This caused Church to trip on the hose and fall off the base, and knock himself out. All this caused the hose to get water all inside the teleporter. The water and Sheila crashing into the base completely wrecked the teleporter circuits. But it looks completely fine.

Some time later Church woke up. "Oh… what the hell happened? Where am I? When am I?" Church said, as he started to move. Church then moved to the front of the base, to see the event's of the Parabola of Mystery. "Oh no. The Parabola of Mystery! That means any second now Tucker's gonna get shot by O'Malley and then all hell's going back loose. Unless…" Church said as he moved to the side of the canyon, looking for something to us, while the Parabola of Mystery happened just like before.

"God I can't believe the Reds have this kind of hardware laying around and they're not even using it." Church said, as he found a Rocket Launcher. Church then found O'Mally in the targeting system in the Rocket Launcher. "Ah, there he is. Mine now buddy." Church said, as he fired a rocket. But the rocket missed O'Malley and hit Tucker.

"WHAT THE HELL!? The targeting system on this thing doesn't work at all!" Church said as he tossed the Rocket Launcher at the ground, breaking it. "Oh, so maybe that's why the Reds don't use it. That makes sense now." Church said, looking at the broken Rocket Launcher. Church then looked up to see the Parabola of Mystery playing out just like the last time. "Unh, maybe I'll just sit this one. I'm pretty sure I know how it ends." Church said as he left.