The camera opens up on a shot of the woods of Wawanawkwa Island. The camera zooms in to show a large amphitheater located in a clearing, with a stage and stands. The remaining nineteen contestants are seated on the stands, looking up to the stage where Chris McLean is standing.
Heather, Lindsay, and Beth are seated in the top row of the Gophers' side. Lindsay waves at a smiling Tyler on the Bass' side, causing Heather to grab her arm.
"Remember what I said in between challenges, Lindsay?", said Heather into her ear. "About the rules of the alliance?"
"Oh...", said Lindsay, in dawning comprehension. "You mean about not touching your stuff?"
Heather's eye twitches, before putting on a fake smile. "No, I mean about not crushing on guys on the opposing team."
"Oh.", said Lindsay, clearly disappointed. "Can I just think about him... on occasion."
Heather narrowed her eyes, but relented. "Fine."
Lindsay looked over Heather's shoulder to Beth, who shrugged.
Meanwhile, at the bottom of the stand, Trent called out to an approaching Gwen. "Hey, Gwen, saved you a seat."
Gwen tried her best to look like she couldn't care less where she sat, as Heather raised her eyebrow at the pair. Cody, who was sitting beside Noah, mimicked Trent putting his hands behind his neck... only to lose balance, and wedge himself in between seats. "Smooth.", snarked Noah.
"Campers, today's challenge will be a true summer camp favorite: a talent show!", announced Chris from the stage. Most of the campers looked extrememly happy about this, with even DJ giving Harold a fist bump. The only two who could care less were Noah (who was engrossed in his book) and Eva.
(Eva): I didn't come to this show to perform on a pansy stage. I came to show off my strength.
"Each team will have all day to pick three performers for tonight's show. Everyone's welcome to audition their talent, long as it's legal.", said Chris, squinting at Duncan, who snapped his fingers.
"The talent show tonight will be hosted by our very own former talent scout and rap legend, Grand Master Chef! He will show his approval or disapproval of each act by the Chef-o-meter." A meter appeared above our intrepid host on the screen.
The camera cut to the Gophers all sitting on their porch steps, with Heather standing to face them all.
"So, me, Lindsay, and Beth took a vote, and we all decided that we should be the judges."
"Woah, woah.", said Gwen. "That's not very diplomatic, don't you think?"
Heather opened her mouth to presumably argue some more, when Trent walked up to Gwen. "Hey, snagged you an extra muffin, Gwen."
"Trent, you're cool with me being in charge of the auditions, right?", said Heather, in a sing-song voice.
Trent didn't look interested. "Sure, why not? Go for it."
As Heather smiled at Gwen, Noah put down his book and said, "Yeah, let's start this thing. I'm game for a good laugh."
He chuckled, only to notice everyone glaring at him.
(Noah): Everyone seems to be a little on edge around me after the dodgeball challenge.
The camera then cuts to the Bass cabin, where the team is congregated as well. Courtney walks up with a clipboard, and says, "All right, as nominal team captain..."
"Woah, who died and made you our captain.", growled Eva, who had been leaning against the far side of the porch.
"Considering I'm the only one with actual CIT experience here, I think it's a practical no-brainer."
Eva proceeded to hop over the porch railing, and stalks over to the CIT. "Well, what if I want to be the team captain? My parents say I have the perfect qualities to be one."
"As if. All you do is scream at people, or hit them."
"Care to repeat that?" Eva rolled up her sleeve menacingly.
"Guys, c'mon, chill out.", said Bridgette, appearing in between them. "How about no one's the team captain? Let's just get on with the auditions; I'll go first."
Bridgette then proceeded to stand on her hands.
"What are you doing?", said Eva, raising her unibrow.
"I can stand on my hands for, like, twenty minutes.", said Bridgette.
"Cool...", came Geoff's voice, who was staring at her... um, posterior.
"Well, that'd be amusing if you were a monkey, but I don't think it's quite what we're looking for.", snarked Courtney, causing Bridgette's face to fall.
Cut back to the Gophers, where Heather has donned a pink tutu, and is dancing ballet throughout the area.
Trent leaned into Gwen. "So, you going to audition?"
"No.", scoffed Gwen, then grew a softer face. "You should, though, I heard you on the dock the other night. You were really swell."
Heather soon stopped in a pose, followed by polite applause from the Gophers. Heather cleared her throat loudly, causing Lindsay to say, "Oh, I nominate Heather to be in the show."
"I second that.", said Beth.
"Aw, thanks you guys.", said Heather, full of false approval. Gwen, however, had had enough. She got up, grabbed her sketchbook, and stalked off.
"Where do you think you're going?", said Heather.
"Anywhere, but here.", said Gwen, who walked off.
(Heather): I could take revenge on Gwen for her constant back-talk, but we're already two people down.
The camera then cuts back to the Bass, where DJ is performing a ribbon dance. He flips and twirls, spinning and whipping his ribbon everywhere.
Once done, Eva says, "Next!", right as Courtney says, "Fine. Sign him up."
The two girls growl at each other, before Harold walks up. He pauses in front of the whole team, takes a breath of air, and...
"Next!", said Eva and Courtney at the same time.
Cut to the Gophers, where Beth is performing her baton twirling. The batons are noticeably on fire, which she proceeds to twirl very close to the other campers' faces.
"Are you sure this is safe?", said Heather.
"Don't worry, I've been practicing."
Beth then proceeds to throw her batons into the air. One of them falls to the ground, burning a large hole, as everyone ducks and covers.
"Hey, you want to try again?", said Noah, from behind a table. "You almost managed to hit me that time."
"I kind-of missed the catching class.", explained Beth.
"You guys?", said Leshawna, pointing off screen. "That bush is on fire."
And so it was. Justin bursts out from the communal bathroom with an extinguisher. He blasts the bush with cold, white foam. He then takes his shirt off, takes a gulp of water from a water bottle, and watches as a droplet evaporates on his chest.
"Well, I think that settles everything.", said Heather, practically drooling over Justin. ""Me, Trent, and Justin will perform tonight."
Heather's dreamy expression turns into a glare. "That is, unless Noah wants to audition."
"No thanks, I'd rather not be completely humiliated on national TV.", said Noah, only to realize that everyone (except Cody) has walked away.
"Wow, tough crowd.", said Noah absently to Cody.
"You know, you could try a little more in challenges.", said Cody.
"Yeah, like you try to get with it with Gwen.", said Noah, snorting.
Although he obviously meant it as a harmless jape, Cody looked pissed off. "You know what, give yourself your own advice.", he said, stalking off from his surprised friend.
The camera then cuts to a montage of Bass campers auditioning. Ezekiel shoots bow and arrows at a target, Geoff performs some wicked stunts on his skateboard, and Eva bench presses a heavy weight.
When she's done, Eva sits up off her bench, and wipes her brow of sweat. "So, how was that?"
Although the rest of the team looks pleased, Courtney gives a sly smile. "Actually, I think we need to go with myself, DJ, and..." She looks quizzically at Geoff and Ezekiel. "... Geoff!"
"Righteous!", said Geoff.
"What?!", said Eva, getting back up in Courtney's face. "You chose your sissy violin over my raw strength?!"
"Guys, Bridgette was right.", said Geoff. "We just need to all calm down."
"No, you know what, I'm tired of this chick undermining me.", said Eva.
"Well, I'm tired of your ugly mug.", said Courtney.
As their yelling intensifies, the camera pans down to the dock, where Trent and Gwen are seated in their swimsuits.
"Wow, they are really going at it up there.", said Trent. "So, why didn't you want to audition?"
"It's just... not my thing.", said Gwen. "The only thing I'm really good at is art and astronomy."
"You could turn that into a talent.", said Trent. "I think a lot of people would pay to see your art."
Gwen blushes.
Cut to later in the day, where the Killer Bass are standing around the amphitheater, waiting for the show to start. Courtney is practicing her violin, while Bridgette, DJ, Geoff, Harold, Duncan, and Ezekiel are playing cards.
"So, is it really true you can stand on your hands for twenty minutes?", said Geoff, causing Bridgette to nod.
"Yeah, right.", said DJ. "That's like virtually impossible."
"Want to make it interesting?", said Bridgette.
"I'll take some of that action.", said Harold, putting money on the floor along with everyone else.
Bridgette begins standing on her hands, as she hand-walks across the stage.
"Hey!", said Eva, who was walking towards Courtney. "I wanted to... talk to you about the show tonight, Ms. prissy CIT."
"There's nothing to talk about Eva.", said Courtney, unaware that Bridgette is getting her legs tangled around a rope behind her.
This leads to a stage light falling from the ceiling... directly above both Courtney and Eva.
As a large crash is heard, Bridgette says, "Oh, crap!", as she looks at the crushed violin.
Cut to later, as Courtney (holding her violin) has bandages wrapped around her head. Eva fairs little better, as her hand is completely covered in bandages.
Bridgette tentatively walks up.
"You!", said Courtney, brushing off Katie and Sadie, who are trying to hold her back. "You murdered my..."
What Courtney was about to say didn't come out, as Eva knocked her away. "You busted up my hand!", she yelled.
"Don't worry. Your hand will heal, and as for Courtney's violin..." Bridgette picked up the violin... only to break it into even smaller pieces.
Courtney wails, while Eva says, "Nice."
"Well, it looks like it's all up to you, Zeke.", said Courtney, controlling herself.
"God help us all.", said Duncan.
The camera cuts to a shot of the Screaming Gophers and Killer Bass symbols, as they crash into each other. The scene fades out to show Chris on the stage of the amphitheater, overlooking most of the non-performers in the stands.
"Welcome to the first annual Total Drama talent show!", said Chris. "You all know the rules, so let's start things off with Justin!"
The curtain pulls back to reveal Justin, who begins posing like a model. Finally, he rips his shirt off, and dumps a bucket of water on himself.
Backstage of the act, Heather walks up to Courtney and Bridgette. "Hey, guys, so sorry to hear about earlier. Guess you can't trust everyone."
"What's that supposed to mean?", said Bridgette, pausing in her consumption of potato chips.
"Oh, nothing. I'm totally not hinting that their own teammate would sabotage them."
"Hey, that may be how you Gophers roll, but we Bass have more class then that."
"Suit yourself. And Bridgette, BTW, I'd lay off the chips. Don't want to sink that surfboard of yours."
Cut back to onstage, where Chris walks up with a fresh shirt for Justin. "Man, I don't know what that was, but boy was it hot. Chef gives it a little over half the bar. Next up, we have DJ!"
The curtain pulls back once again to show DJ in full leotard. He flips around for a bit, that is, until he gets his ribbons tangled around his legs. He fights to unhook himself, before finally yanking it off of him and throwing an awkward pose.
"Dainty, yet masculine.", said Chris, walking back onstage. "Chef, however, doesn't think much of it. Next up, we have Trent!"
The curtain pulls back to show Trent seated on a chair with his guitar. "This one goes out to a really special person here at camp.", he said, then begins to play his song, causing Gwen to lean forward in satisfaction.
"Wow, that was probably the best of the night so far, Trent.", said Chris. "And Grand Master Chef thinks so as well."
As Trent waves at the crowd, Chris suddenly looks annoyed. "All right, you're hogging my spotlight, dude." Chris then pushes Trent off stage.
Cut to the curtain opening a fourth time, revealing Ezekiel with a bow and arrow. As soon as he sees the crowd, he goes completely pale and begins to sweat. He pulls up his bow, aims his arrow, then jerkily fires at a target.
"Waaaaagh!", said Chris, as the arrow pierced his arm.
"Oh, no!", said Zeke, clutching his toque.
The camera then cuts to a rainbow-colored test screen, as a low drone fills the ears.
Cut back to Chris, with a bandage around his arm, walking up to Zeke, and pushing him off the stage. "We'' be right back.", he said to the viewers.
Cut to the same symbols crashing into one another, as the scene fades into Heather performing her ballet. She strikes a final pose, as Chef indicates an almost full bar.
Chris walks onstage, applauding. "And now, for our final performer of the evening, Geoff! Can he pull the Bass out from the ditch, and actually win this thing... I find it highly unlikely. But, let's watch anyway."
Cut to backstage, where Geoff flips on his board... and proceeds to crush it into two pieces. "Huh, that's never happened before."
A nearby Courtney grabs Bridgette. "What are we supposed to do now?"
"All right, let's calm down. Let's go over our options: Katie and Sadie we know suck, Eva's hand is busted, Harold will probably do something especially weird, and Duncan... what can he do?"
"Carve a picture of his own skull into the side of a tree? That's not good enough! As much as it pains me to say it, you're our only hope, Bridgette."
Cut to Bridgette looking nervously from behind the curtain, then walking out on her hands. Her stomach ominously rumbles, and she gives a hearty belch.
Harold and Ezekiel look at one another, as does Noah and Cody.
Suddenly, Bridgette vomits up her potato chips all over the floor. The campers react in disgust.
Bridgette proceeds to projectile vomit all over Katie, Sadie, and Leshawna. Katie yells in anguish, before vomiting on Sadie's lap.
Bridgette, her vomiting subsiding, slips on some fresh puke, and falls to the ground.
"Yeuch!", said Chris, holding his nose and walking on stage. "Chef gives it... one point! That means that the Screaming Gophers are tonight's winners!"
Cheers from the Gopher side.
(Bridgette): It won't be so bad going home. I can always get a job at the surf shack.
Cut to the campfire ceremony, where DJ, Ezekiel, and Bridgette are the last to receive a marshmallow.
"Before I deal with our final three, I'd just like to thank everyone for a night filled with laughs, shocks, and of course, drama!", said Chris.
"Now, you three blew it big time tonight in the show. Even though your public humiliation on live TV should be fitting punishment, one of you is still going home tonight. The penultimate marshmallow goes to... DJ!"
"Yeah!", said the gentle giant.
"And the final marshmallow of the evening goes to...", said Chris, then proceeds to rub his injured arm. "As much as it really hurts to say this, but Zeke is still in the game."
"Yes!", said Ezekiel, as Bridgette hangs her head.
Cut to Bridgette walking the dock of shame, carrying her surfboard.
"Hey, wait!", said Geoff, running up to her. "I just wanted to say how really... cool it was getting to know you."
"I thought it was cool, too.", said Bridgette. They start to lean in, before deciding to hug each other.
Teams
Screaming Gophers: Gwen, Heather, Leshawna, Lindsay, Trent, Beth, Cody, Justin, and Noah
Killer Bass: Duncan, Geoff, DJ, Eva, Harold, Courtney, Sadie, Katie, and Ezekiel
Eliminated: Owen, Izzy, Tyler, and Bridgette
Votes: Bridgette (8); Ezekiel (2)