Disclaimer: I do not own Miraculous Ladybug or it's characters.
Chapter 38,
Adrien snuck out to the school and sat in the locker room and stared at the dent he made the other day. He still felt so immensely stupid for allowing himself to get that angry but there's not much he could do about it now. The only thing he really can do is try and fix things.
"You know we all have our off days." He heard a voice say. He looked up and saw Ladybug lazily sitting on the windowsill and smiling down at him.
"At least I have you to help me fix it." Adrien said and Ladybug hopped down.
"Come on, let's get this thing to the shop." Ladybug said, pulling a screwdriver out of her little purse and walking over to the locker. She popped the locker door off it's hinges and gave that to Adrien so she can secure the screws in her purse.
"Are you always this helpful when you're not fighting crime?" Adrien asked, as she picked up one end of the locker.
"I try to be as helpful as I can, though there is still so much I could do." Ladybug said as they walked.
"Like what?" Adrien asked and Ladybug shrugged.
"Like, there is still so much pain in the world. Hungry orphans, homeless Veterans, innocent people who are, injured or die from others improper driving. It hurts knowing that these things could be prevented, if not totally then partially, by others being kind." Ladybug said and Adrien half-shrugged.
"Well, you do inspire others to be kinder." Adrien commented.
"Maybe here in Paris, but I'm not that sure. I've allowed myself to be jealous and selfish and cruel to those who were mean to me. How could people look to me as a role model, when I still have so much growing up to do?" Ladybug asked and they entered the shop and set the locker door down on the table.
"You know, even though you're a superhero, you're still human. And humans aren't perfect- even though some try to be." Adrien said with an adorable smirk that made Ladybug blush.
"I'm not saying I'm perfect, or I'm trying to be." Ladybug said and Adrien shrugged a little.
"If you say so." Adrien said sarcastically. Ladybug smiled, scoffed, and gentle bopped Adrien with the yo-yo.
"Don't be so rude." Ladybug said and Adrien rubbed his head.
"Says the girl who just hit me in the head." Adrien said half-insulted.
"You deserved it." Ladybug said, stepping towards him.
"Says who?" Adrien asked, stepping towards her.
"Says me." Ladybug said.
Then they both burst with laughter, and it was nice. Adrien threw his head back, Ladybug looked down. Adrien put a hand on Ladybug's shoulder and hip. Ladybug placed both her hands on Adrien's chest. Adrien looked down at Ladybug. Ladybug looked up at Adrien. They stared into each other's eyes, and their laughter slowed to a stop.
Ladybug bit her lip at how natural it was for her to step into Adrien's arms; almost like she trusted him with her life... it actually confused her because lately she's only trusted Cat Noir that much.
Adrien looked down at Ladybug's lips and swallowed. For so long he's tried to kiss Ladybug and she's rejected him, but this felt different. Perhaps it's because they were in a private place, perhaps it's because they weren't fighting a villain, or perhaps it's because he was Adrien instead of Cat Noir. It almost felt like... he could lean forward and...
"Um." Ladybug pulled her head away and looked to the side as she tucked some hair behind her ear.
"You never know when Hawk Moth will release another akuma. We um... we better finish your locker." Ladybug said, pulling away from Adrien completely. They started fixing the locker, silently.
Ladybug knew how much she had desired Adrien and how she's longed for his kiss, but now she was all confused. She still wanted to kiss Adrien, but now she wanted to kiss Cat Noir too; which wasn't right. What was wrong with her? How could she want to be with two boys?
Cat Noir was really fun to be around and Adrien had such heart... actually... Adrien was fun too. And Cat Noir also had a lot of heart. Ladybug furrowed her brow a little and she thought how strange it was that these two were starting to act like the other. It was like the lines were getting blurred somehow.
"I really do appreciate your help with this." Adrien said after they beat the dent out of the locker.
"Thank you. Hey Adrien, can I ask you a question?" Ladybug said and Adrien blinked.
"Of course." He said and she bit her lip.
"I was just wondering if it was hard for you to be yourself because of how famous you were." She asked as they picked the locker back up.
"Well, maybe a little. Being a model for my father's company, it's kinda expected of me to act and look a certain way. If I'm a little shaggy or messy it reflects badly on both father and his business." Adrien said as they made their way back to the locker room.
"Do you ever wish that... you weren't famous?" Ladybug asked, and Adrien thought about it for a minute.
"I guess there are times when I do. I mean, sometimes I would like to have a normal life. You know, running around playing tag without worrying that I'll scrape my knee or elbow and ruining my next photo shoot; or being able to scarf down a burger or piece of cake without someone taking my picture of how gross I must have looked in that moment; or walking so carefully to help ensure the fact that nothing happens to my clothes, or shoes, or my hair..." Adrien paused as they lifted the door back on his locker and Ladybug screwed the metal object back in place.
"It's very stressful to try and be who others want you to be... perfect like others want you to be..." Adrien moved away and sat on the bench.
"Isn't it funny; how stressful perfection can be? So many people try to be perfect... perfect hair, perfect clothes, perfect life, perfect behavior, but it's not perfectionism that brings you freedom... it's imperfection." Adrien said and Ladybug sat beside him.
"You really think so?" Ladybug asked and Adrien nodded.
"Well, yeah. If you're automatically perfect at something, there's no challenge. So you either get bored with it, or it's the only thing people want from you. And when that's the case, you can end up resenting everything; this natural talent you have, others for wanting something so cheap out of you, and even at yourself for allowing this whole thing to consume you..." Adrien said.
"Sometimes I feel the weight of Paris on my shoulders. I can feel so stressed for doing my job and sure I'm appreciated, but it can be overwhelming too." Ladybug said and Adrien looked at her.
"At least people care about what you say. I can't seem to get anyone to listen to any opinions I have. It doesn't really matter what it is, I guess. In a way being famous means people can find such inspiration by the most mundane parts of your life, and can find the greatest insults in the most innocent things you do. I guess that's what 'being famous' means to me." Adrien said and Ladybug bit her lip.
"I guess that's one way of looking at it. But it also means that you can influence a lot of people too. I mean remember that figure skating trainer Philippe? They were gonna take away his ice rink and you told people how much fun you had with him, and now he's happier then he's been in forever. That was... really sweet of you, Adrien. Don't think I didn't notice that." Ladybug said and Adrien blushed a little.
"I just wanted to see him happy. He was trying so hard to get my friends and I to sign up for classes and none of us did. I kinda felt bad." Adrien said and Ladybug shifted in her seat as she remembered this as wells
"You know, when I'm not Ladybug, I always dream of becoming famous for the work I do." Ladybug said, pulling her legs up and crossing them beneath her.
"What kind of work?" Adrien asked and for a moment, Ladybug pondered with how honest she was gonna be right now.
"... honestly... designing clothes... or at least designing in general." Ladybug said and Adrien blinked at this answer. He just couldn't help but be surprised that she gave him a real answer about herself, as Ladybug.
"Well... there's nothing wrong with wanting your hard work recognized." Adrien said.
"You mean that?" Ladybug asked.
"Well sure. I mean father may not be the best example, but there was a time when he loved to create clothes for... for my mom and I." Adrien said and Ladybug's eyes widened.
"Has he not been designing since your mom... um..." she hesitated. She wasn't sure if this subject was too sensitive for the dear boy.
"Not really... then again... he hasn't really been the same person since she's been gone. I remember... heh... I remember coming down from my room one day to get a snack, and I saw my parents laughing and talking and listening to the radio... then my mom got excited by this song on the radio... father got up... took her by the hand... and they started dancing together... the next day he started designing clothes you can dance in... clothes that came alive with every twist, turn, and spin you do." Adrien told her and Ladybug nodded; she remembered seeing that line.
She had been in the mall shopping for a present for her mother, when she saw an army of girls dancing in their new Agreste dresses and she had been shocked at much personality clothes could have and how the girls were so happy with themselves. Ladybug remembered very clearly, that one of the girls- the gothic one wearing the dark purple dress with black metallic skulls, talked about how she's never felt more like herself.
It was the first time Ladybug had thought about clothes really expressing who you were as a person. And that was when a young Marinette Dupain-Cheng decided that she wanted to bring that kind of joy in the world. That was when she decided to be a fashion designer.
"You know sometimes people become famous." Adrien started, which pulled Ladybug out of her nostalgic haze.
"They become famous for one thing; acting, writing, music, designing, cooking... but a lot of the time they will only be know for that one thing; and I think that's kinda sad. People see that my father designs clothes, but no one knows that he actually wrote children stories for me as a child. People see me, the model, and they have no clue that I fence or play the piano, or do karate. Julia Child was known for cooking, but she was very accepting of others and had an excellent sense of humor. David Bowie was a singer, but did you know that he loved to paint. Frank Sinatra was a true triple-threat, being a singer, actor, and hilarious on a stage. To name a younger person, Zac Efron is an actor, singer, and a dancer, but did you know he cares very deeply about conservation, and nature, and animals too. Alan Alda was famous for his role as Hawkeye, but he went from only an actor to eventually becoming the creative consultant, and writer, and director of the show. A person is so... complicated. People are so complex, it's really sad if they are known for simply one thing." Adrien said and Ladybug blinked.
"I guess I haven't really thought of that before." Ladybug said.
"Yeah, well... I don't think most people do... they care so much about 'being famous' because they enjoy the thought of everyone knowing their name, and that must mean that they are loved... or that must mean that they are loved... or that no one will forget them. I think, sometimes, people need to stop trying to 'get famous' and think of what will actually make them happy. When you're famous, you want to go places where people will treat you like a regular person, you want to go somewhere where everyone loves and praises you. There's not a lot of middle ground, at least I don't think there is. To be able to walk into a room where everyone knows you and they can still treat you like a regular human being. I don't know, maybe no one wants that... I guess you just have to be careful how people remember you." Adrien said and Ladybug stared at him for a moment.
"What do you want to be known for?" Ladybug asked and Adrien stared at her.
"I'm not really sure. I mean, all of the stuff I do is... well, I enjoy it for the most part, but I don't do it because it's fun. It's just something I do." Adrien said and Ladybug shrugged.
"Well, you have plenty of time to think about it, Adrien." Ladybug said and she reached over and held Adrien's hand, making him blush.
"I promise." She said and for a moment they sat there together, holding hands in silence, hearing nothing but the electrical buzzing of the lights above their heads.
Adrien's heart was already beating rather heavily, but then he got an idea and his heart shook his body like a massive earthquake. He gave her hand a gentle squeeze, causing her to look at him, even though his face must be flushed, and his hands trembled when he dared to look at her. He gently held her face with his free hand and sweetly kissed her forehead. He desperately wanted to kiss her lips right then and there, but it almost didn't seem right to be that forward just yet.
Ladybug was shocked at the kiss and she felt her face heat up as well. They carefully pressed their foreheads together, just for a moment, and then they both pulled away, realizing it was time to say goodnight.
"I better be getting home, before my father misses me." Adrien said, though this statement felt like such a lie.
"Yeah, it's getting rather late, and it's been a monster of a day." Ladybug said, standing up and stretching.
It was true. She stayed up late finishing Nino's present, then all that Korean War stuff happened, then she helped set up Nino's party and celebrated his birthday with him, and now she's helping Adrien with his busted locker. Ladybug was exhausted.
"It really has been." Adrien agreed.
"Ok, bug out Adrien." Ladybug said as she got out her yo-yo.
"Ladybug." Adrien said quickly, and she paused when she heard this.
"I, um... is it possible for us to spend time together again?" Adrien asked and for a moment, Ladybug simply stared at him as she thought of an answer.
"Well, no guarantees, but... I promise I'll definitely think about it." Ladybug said with a smile and Adrien mirrored her smile.
"I look forward to our next encounter Ladybug." Adrien said and then Ladybug left. Adrien was looking forward to watching movies with Marinette tomorrow, but he had a feeling the rest of the weekend would move rather quickly.
Soon it will be Monday, then a week's gone by, then a month, and he didn't know what to expect out off it all, but he did have one thing; Ladybug. He knew Marinette was Ladybug, and hopefully soon he'll be able to tell her that he was Cat Noir. Knowing how upset she is with Adrien, it was almost a scary concept now. Though, as scary as it was, he was excited too. After all... they were an unstoppable team.