Chapter 11
Hi! Sorry for the time it took, but except maybe for a short epilogue, this should be the last chapter!
Garcia and Hotch were as confused, shocked and upset as they all had been, and for once the Unit chief didn't hide his feelings. Emily remained by his side, now there was no point hiding from the team anymore. Aaron was looking at Reid in a whole new light, and remembered now tons of little details which should have alerted him.
It was incredibly hard to think this could be all real. Was this all a delirium of his mind? Was he imagining his colleagues saying those things? But the pain and Prentiss warmth at his side grounded him to reality and he had to accept it. He had to accept that this weird, invasive thing he had felt before falling into some kind of weird and suffocating slumber, and that smoke out of Garcia's mouth were all real.
As for Garcia she couldn't allow herself to doubt. Though her mind was foggy, she remembered enough. She had felt the unholy thing in her, and she had felt torn apart inside, and she had seen and heard herself saying and doing those horrible things...She had screamed powerlessly and begged the thing to stop but it had been smothering and so merciless she had felt like she was going to die.
Then she had seen them pinning her body down, that body she couldn't control anymore and she had begged, screamed for help, and it had lasted! It had been like an agonizing eternity before that thing was finally torn apart from her, and it had felt like a knife had been pulled out of her. When it was finally gone, an intense bliss had washed through her for a second. Then, realization had come: she had been through something horrible, disgusting and unholy.
Nothing would be the same again.
Sorry, I'm sorry, she had repeated this mechanically, in a trance-like state to Morgan. He had comforted her, and now she was leaning against him, listening to the explanation of what demons and hunters were.
The sun had arisen by now and though they were all exhausted, none of them wanted to sleep. Each one of the four hunters took part explaining, although Reid did the biggest part. John was mostly watching out their reaction, Dean was just keeping an eye on his younger brothers' state and Sam was only trying to reassure the agents about who they were.
"That's what they do, that's what we do. We hunt those things so they won't kill or use people," Sam concluded.
Morgan looked Spencer with sad eyes but no anger. He just seemed worn-out like everyone else.
"Okay, but you owe us another explanation. You're right when you said we all judged you quickly, granted, but you still lied. We deserve to know who you really are and how you came into this."
Reid bit his lip and sighed. He had told them the generic things, but not about the personal stuff, how his life changed in one night.
"Alright...Everything you know about me from my birth to my mother's death when I was eleven is true. My name is Spencer Reid, I was born in Vegas, I have an eidetic memory, my mother suffered from schizophrenia and my father decided to abandon us when I was a child. He even renounced to his parental rights."
He gulped and marked a pause. He still felt a slight sting at this thought. He told them everything, from the day he met Dean, to the day his mother was murdered. The pain in his voice was obvious. He took a breath and out of habit, JJ took his hand. He smiled joylessly at her.
"My father had abandoned me, so I went to foster care. They didn't like pretentious know-it-all like me, and they let me know." He spoke about that a bit, of how they hit him, deprived him of food once. Thank God it didn't last long, John came to pick him up and he left with them.
"It was weird to live on the road with them, but I was happy not to be in my old Highschool anymore, even Vegas wasn't such a miss. I only missed my mom. I liked travelling, and I liked learning how to fight with them. Sometimes they teased me a bit, but they appreciated my intelligence."
Dean looked down while smiling and Sam had a little smirk: they knew the 'teasing' part was referring to him mostly. Reid felt nostalgic while speaking about this: he had felt so free back then in spite of every bad side this life had!
"I should have guessed," Hotch grumbled. "I remember when you had so much difficulty to pass your shooting qualification; Yet when you had to kill a guy taking us hostage, you got him right between the eyes. A clean shot, and you hardly looked shaken after. I guess you also faked being quizzy around corpses."
He remembered that indeed, during the first time with the FBI, he always acted as if dead bodies would make him sick. He even got out and puked after his first crime scene.
"I put two fingers through my throat the first time, it wasn't really agreeable, but it helped contribute to the image I was creating."
This made Gideon smile joylessly. No one ever fooled them like this, no one. They had a spy right under their eyes...But now, had he been in Spencer's stead, wouldn't he have done it? He would have done everything to save people, even if the price was lying.
"Why did you join the FBI? Was it only for the sake of being an informant?"
"No! I had heard of profiling before meeting them. I never thought I could ever become an agent, though. Their training really helped."
Indeed, it had been hard for him, but it had been incredibly useful, and they all had different ways to encourage him. Sam was the one telling him kindly he could do it, Dean was more into the light-hearted teasing, while John was strict and military-like but patient
Training was hard, Spencer had never been one for sports, and what John would teach his kids was tough. Even Sam and Dean who were used to it didn't have it so easy, so for Spencer it was even worse. Shooting training wasn't that hard, but the fight and the work out...They had done stretching, push ups, and now John was teaching them Krav Maga. Spencer would always loose as they spared, no matter who he was sparing with. For now he was going against Sam, but even though the boy wasn't going hard on him, he still couldn't beat him. As Spencer tried to land a punch, Sam dodged and retaliated with another. It hit Reid right in the chest and cut off his breath, making him bend half in two.
"Sorry! I didn't want to do that!"
Unable to say anything at first, Spencer stood straight again, regaining his breathing. He could see Sam was sorry, he wasn't mad at him. He was mad at himself. He had nothing to do among them, he was weak...
"Come on, let's start again," Sam encourage softly.
"Yeah, don't let that take you down, after all Sammy has me to train him, so not a wonder he can kick ass!" Dean boasted jokingly.
"Okay, guys, the two of you can take a break," John told Sam and Dean, interrupting them before Sam could tell his brother to shut up. "Go inside and drink."
His two sons understood he wanted to talk to Spencer alone and Dean led Sam inside. Lowering his head, Spencer waited, he had absolutely no idea what John was going to tell him, but he was pretty sure he would get a good dressing-down.
"Spencer, I know you're not used to that...But there is something else, isn't it? It's stopping you from giving your fullest."
Relief washed through him as he realized the man wasn't angry at him. Daring to talk thanks to John's calm tone, Spencer just uttered: "I'm really bad compared to your sons."
"I trained Sam and Dean very early, they already got years of practicing behind them. You just started, don't expect to beat them right away."
"Yeah, but, it's...I'm not a fighter, I don't have what it takes."
"Who said that? Who said you couldn't be a fighter? Bullies at school?" At the way Reid lowered his eyes, John had his answer. "What do they know? Bullies are weak, they just do what they do because they got no real strength, you hear me? So are you really gonna let those people tell you what you should be or shouldn't be?"
Finally looking up at John, the boy shook his head. The man nodded: "Good. Failures can teach you a lot, learn from those, don't let it take you down. What do you want to be in the future?"
"I...I thought of being a FBI agent, and...Do profiling, maybe."
"Then it's a greater reason to go through my training, it will be more than useful to become an agent. Even if you change your mind later, knowing how to fight will always serve you. Come on, drink a bit and we're resuming."
Spencer nodded, still tired but feeling more motivated after that. He still wasn't able to beat Sam at the end of the day, but he had been able to block a few of his blow, and the boy's smile at this made Reid even prouder.
That memory flashed through his mind and he smiled. He told his team about that day, he told them how once Sam and Dean had taught him how to climb fences, walls and other stuff when they had time alone, and they had more fun than anything, he also explained how he surprised them with his ability to cheat at cards and how useful it had been for extra money. He was fond of those memories, and it was actually nice to share those with his team. They were all pretty baffled to hear that, to know more about Reid's real past.
The brothers eventually joined the conversation, also explaining some things about their mother and about their childhood. Standing in the back, John looked at them and smiled sadly. He slowly walked out and only Emily and Gideon noticed. They looked at each other and went out.
They saw John standing, looking at the horizon without a move, probably deep in thoughts.
"You intend to run away?" Jason asked.
John frowned as he looked at the newcomers. "You have to admit I'd be pretty slow at it," he growled, not really happy at such an accusation. "I won't leave my boys in trouble like this."
Emily looked at the man in silence, she didn't really know what to think of him after everything they heard, but she owed him a lot. Jason got a bit closer to him, this time speaking in a softer way.
"I guessed that. There is just one thing I would like to ask: why did you take Reid with you?"
John hesitated, he would usually not talk much, but after all this situation was unusual. It was better to be honest with those people, they had to establish trust. Anyway, they needed answers too, and he felt actually comfortable enough with agent Prentiss. He looked down, trying to find the right words. Then he looked at the profilers again.
"Whenever you are on cases, you probably always feel sympathetic for the victims, at least a bit. You try to stay professional, to keep some distances, but you can't be unfeeling. It's the same for me and all of us hunters."
"Sometimes, there are people you meet who touch you deeper, with whom you form a bond," Gideon completed.
"Yes. It was the case for me and Diana Reid."
His eyes were slowly filled with sadness thinking of her.
"We were both single parents, her husband had abandoned her, and in spite of her mental illness, she was trying to do her best for her son. I could understand what it was like when your world is crumbling and yet you have to hold on for your children. She was mentally ill, but she was strong."
He smiled sorrowfully, weirdly enough it reminded Jason of Spencer's sad smile earlier when JJ had pressed his hand. Mimics, probably.
"I don't remember her face, but I remember her voice."
And he remembered the hope and trust in her voice when she told him she believed he could protect her. He remembered how they had spoke, and how he had felt comfortable enough with her to speak a bit about how he felt living like this.
"She died in my arms, and she just asked me to protect her son. At first, I just wanted to stay a bit around to make sure Spencer would adapt to his new family, but when I saw the bruises and I knew I couldn't leave him here. I intended to let him live with one of our informants, but it wasn't easy find someone willing to take care of a teen, and my sons and he had formed a bond already. So when he begged me to let him stay with them, I couldn't refuse him, especially after what he went through. Anyway, I understood it was my duty to take care of him."
He took a deep breath, remembering the look of relief on Spencer's face when he threatened his foster family and took him away. The kid was still depressed because of his mother's death, but he was thankful to them.
"You still feel guilty about her death?" Emily questioned.
"Of course, I do."
A short moment settled, and Prentiss got a bit closer. "What about your kids, why did you give them such a life?" She asked softly with no accusation.
John titled his head to the side. "That wasn't what we planned my wife and I. But Mary died. One of those things, like the one which possessed you, killed her. Only it's more powerful than this one. From that moment, I knew things could never be as we planned. We couldn't just live a normal life like nothing happened, I had to deal with it."
He took a deep breath, he knew that look they were giving him: "I know I made questionable choices, and I'm not the best of fathers, but I always told Spencer he could change for a normal life whenever he wanted, I didn't force him onto this. Now what will you do with them?"
None of them could answer that question: those people broke the law, Reid especially! After all he communicated many secret information to them, made them intervene in secrets in cases and covered all their illegal actions.
"I'll discuss with Hotch about it. I don't want Reid in jail, and I guess you don't deserve it either," Gideon replied while coming back inside.
Looking once again at John, Emily smiled at him: "I didn't even thank you. Without you, things would have gone really wrong."
"Same goes for you. Apparently that demon was about to kill my son when you started the exorcism. Thank you, really. And...About what that demon said about you and Agent Hotchner, don't bother much, after all demons aren't exactly sinless!"
She huffed at this and shrugged: "I know it doesn't matter to you, but I only started having an affair with him after his wife asked for a divorce. They will be separated soon. I just want you to know."
"I understand. Well, let's get inside. I must say I hate this whole place, though."
"Me too."
O o O
Gideon and Hotch were talking a lot in a room, probably about what they were going to do about the hunters, while the rest of the team were trying to rest a bit. Prentiss and John Winchester were back inside and Reid was agreeably surprised to see they were getting along. Tension was still here between Derek and Dean however, he could realize it. However for now, the atmosphere was a bit lighter.
Garcia was the only one who couldn't rest, she was still incredibly nervous, twitching and jumping at any sudden sounds. What the demon had said was still in her mind and she constantly feared that: to go through it again.
At least, in the kitchen she was alone, she just couldn't face her colleagues anymore, even though none of them were mad at her, she couldn't bear to be around them. Sounds of footsteps cam close and she looked at the newcomer nervously. She saw Sam Winchester and felt a bit relieved: she had done nothing to him. She smiled joylessly.
"You want something?"
"I just came for a glass of water. Are you okay?" Asked he.
"Uh...Yeah..." She sighed, seeing at his expression that her lie wasn't credible. "Not really..."
"I've never been possessed myself, but I know it can be shocking when you remember."
"It's just...I said horrible things and did some too...I can see myself going at Prentiss again, I could have killed her!"
Sam stopped her right away: "Don't do that to yourself. When a demon possesses you, it takes complete control over your entire body. Some hunters managed to regain control for a few seconds, but it rarely happens and they were among the best hunters. For a normal person like you who knows nothing about it, there was no way you could have done anything to stop it."
She felt a bit better at this, relieved to hear that from someone experienced in those things.
"And how are you? I mean, you also got captured by that thing."
"I'm fine, it's not the first kidnapping for me! In fact hunters always get a pretty high rating of abductions."
"Really? Did it already happen to Reid before? I mean, getting kidnapped"
"...Yeah. But that will be up to him to tell you about it. Anyway, don't be too worried, they all understood you could do nothing about it. You'll feel better eventually."
"You know you can also talk to us."
Derek's gentle voice surprised them and they saw him entering the room. He smiled to her and put a comforting hand over her shoulder.
"Hotch had no control either, you haven't seen him, he was scary and obviously not himself. Neither of you were, Baby-girl."
"Thanks, Sugar."
It was reassuring to hear her talk like that. Behind Derek, Dean appeared and looked at them in silence. Garcia didn't know what to think of him anymore. She just lowered her eyes.
"Also...I'm so scared this thing will come back."
"He isn't about to come back any time soon," Sam assured her. "But if you want..."
He took off a necklace from his neck and handed it to Garcia; the pendant was a silver pentagram and she looked at it quizzically.
"It's a protection against demons. Wear it, and you should be safer."
"...But what about you?"
"I know where I can find one of those, don't worry for me. Take it."
She took it with a trembling hand and put it around her neck with Derek's help. She gave Sam a smile, a less nervous one.
"Thanks a lot. I...I won't forget."
"You should rest now."
"Yeah, maybe...You mind if we talk a bit, though?"
"Not at all," he replied, surprised but quite touched by that request.
They walked away, leaving Dean and Morgan alone, as the agent was about to leave as well, when he heard Dean calling him: "Wait. You're still mad at me?"
Derek just looked at him, the young man was leaning against the doorframe, and for the first time, he dared to admit it to himself: Dean Winchester was pretty handsome. He didn't know why it struck him so hard right now. Maybe it was because Dean looked much more natural dressed in jeans and in a plain shirt instead of a suit, or because no one in the team was in danger anymore, or maybe because it felt good to think of something else than the horrors of last night. Anyway, he did look breath-taking.
Shaking that off, he finally dared to ask: "Did you hear what...That demon said?"
"When?"
"After you hit the wall, it spoke to me."
"That's what Garcia was talking about? I didn't hear any of it. I just remember feeling her hands on me and then your colleague entering. I guess it would be indiscreet to ask what..."
"Yeah," he replied abruptly before softening. "I mean...It's not something I like to talk about."
Dean took a step forward, getting closer to him. He didn't want Derek to be mad at him, nor to see him tortured by the demon's words.
"Well, whatever it is, you have to know demons often lie, and they can spot weaknesses and sore memories in everyone. They do that whenever they can. They did it to us so many times we cannot count anymore."
"I see..."
He looked at Dean in the eyes, and for the first time since he heard about demons, he felt more assured about what he said.
"I'm thankful toward you, if that's what you want to know. No, I'm not mad at you anymore."
And he honestly hoped Hotch and Gideon would let them leave. He found himself wishing that he would be able to see Dean again, and certainly not behind prison's bars. Dean lowered his eyes a bit, and smiled.
"Well, that's a good start...I mean, we're probably gonna meet in the future, so..."
Before he could continue, JJ showed up to them, obviously a bit nervous; she barely dared to look at Dean.
"Guys...Hotch and Gideon wants everyone to gather."
Both of them felt a knot in their stomach and they looked at each other, wondering what they should expect. Dean knew one thing: even if that Hotchner guy managed to put them in jail, he and his family would escape. But he didn't want things to go that way, not with Spencer's team. As they entered the living room where everyone was, they could see Aaron looked a bit better, though extremely serious, solemn even.
"Reid," he asked the young man who was looking at him almost warily, "can you really assure me that Saint Louis murder doesn't have anything to do with them."
"I assure you, the creature who did it framed them, there are witnesses who can confirm, even I was there and I saw the corpse. But we had to hide it, had that thing been autopsied..."
"Okay, okay...That demon thing, will it come back?"
"Not for a long time, once a demon is exorcised, it stays in hell for a long period," John replied.
"But others are lurking," Dean added.
"You realize what you did is absolutely illegal, the number of misdeed you did is something no one should overlook, but well..." He sighed. "I guess no one can overlook the good you did as well. That thing would have killed us all."
"We only want to help people, the misdeed we do, it's only because there are no other ways," Sam assured.
Hotch nodded slightly. It was hard to take such a decision, he never thought he would have to, but here he was. This was one of those times when Justice and Laws were on opposite sides.
"Just leave. We'll make sure nothing of it leaks. If we spot anything strange, however...Can we count on you?"
"You can," Sam and Dean replied in unison
"We'll come whenever Spencer calls," John replied simply, adding a nuance.
Immense relief washed through all of them, though. John went to Spencer and hugged him one last time, only to be mimicked by Sam and Dean. Reid returned the hug to the three of them with emotion.
"Be careful," he told them.
"The same goes for you," Dean reminded him.
It was hard to watch them all leave, but in the end, he knew it was for the best. Morgan was watching along, and Garcia was holding the pendant Sam gave her. Hotch and Emily were standing side by side and Gideon put a hand on Spencer's shoulder. The latter smiled, thinking of how that demon wanted to destroy his family, and yet in the end, brought it together.
And here we go! I hope you enjoyed the ride, personally, I really liked writing it! Don't hesitate to comment, maybe I'll post an epilogue ^^