Nothing Left to Lose: Chapter 3 – Pity

There's something so interesting about determining if something is worth it. I spent a lot of time over the week I was suspended deciding if becoming the person they see me as, as worth it. I made a big, long list made up of all the pros and cons. I'm mentally adding to it as the day goes on, and I reckon I'm going to need to start a whole new list.

There are many cons I've come up with, but I, obviously, decided that the pros outweighed the cons, and I can't say I'm regretting my choice. As I've mentioned, it's quite the opposite.

Well, until Adrien corners me in the locker room.

"What do you want, Adrien?" I sigh, rolling my eyes to him.

"What was that in class? WHO was that?"

"I don't know what you mean, Adrien, because that was me. At least, everyone else seems to think so." I shrug it off, and slam my locker shut, which startles Adrien and makes him flinch.

"No, it isn't Marinette! I know who you really are, even if they don't, and who you are isn't the person you're being right now. What's going on?"

"I'm protecting myself; I'm taking away all the power that Lila once had over me. And even more, when Lila finally gets exposed, they'll come begging at my feet for forgiveness, and see the person that they created."

He seems to mull over what I said for a minute, and I wait with a hand on my hip, impatiently tapping my foot. "I get that you're hurting, Marinette, but this isn't the answer!" I've already heard the same thing from Tikki, and I don't need to hear it again, so I begin to walk away, only to be stopped by a hand on my wrist. "Please, Mari. I'm worried about you."

"Well don't be." I spit, and my words are a sword dripping with poison, and I watch the pain flicker across his face as the sword cuts through him. I yank my wrist from his grasp, and storm out, leaving him there to sulk.

I don't bother sticking around, and just go home.

ADRIEN

When I get to class, incredibly hurt, I don't see Marinette there. I'm worried about her, and hurt as I may be, I'm undeterred.

She won't listen to me as Adrien, but maybe she'll listen to me as Chat Noir.

I make an excuse about needing to go home to get ready for a photoshoot, and leave. I find a spot hidden away in an alley, and call on Plagg to transform me, meeting a lot of complaints as he gets sucked into my miraculous.

I make the very short run to Marinette's and jump onto her balcony. I peer inside through the small window, and see her on her bed, looking absolutely drained and depressed.

I knock softly on the window, and see her jump ten feet in the air, resembling a cat, and spin around to look up at the window, straight into my glowing, green, cat-like eyes.

"Can I come in, Purrincess?" I call, and watch her slowly shuffle over, opening the window just enough for me to slip through.

"What are you doing here, Chat?" She asks slowly, shuffling back to sit in her original spot on her bed, also giving me space to sit beside her.

"You tell me. Are you ok?" I can't be sure that she'll open up to me, but I can hope, as over time with her helping me out more with taking down akumas, we've gotten close, and me checking up on her every once in a while like this isn't out of the ordinary. Of course, I never check up on her during the day, especially not when she's supposed to in school. I find myself hoping that she doesn't question how I know she wouldn't be in school.

"No, but it's nothing, so don't worry. But I mean, what are you doing here now? How would you even know I was home and upset?"

Shit. She is a smart one, of course she would realise. And I was stupid and impulsive and didn't think any of this through. Goddammit, Adrien, what are you doing?!

"W-well…I was just around, since I didn't have school today, and saw you come home, looking pretty sad." Yeah, that sounded reasonable enough. Hopefully, it was enough to fool her.

"Oh, sure. Well, thanks for checking on me, but it's fine! I'm fine! It'll all be…fine…" she trails off, and her voice gets all choked and quiet, and I can tell she's holding back her emotions. Or at least, trying to.

I wrap my arms around her shoulders, and just sit there with her, as everything comes to the surface.

"I was horrible to them, Chat! All of them deserved it, but not…not Adrien. He's the only one who's stayed with me through all of this, and I really hurt him! I'm so sorry…" She whispers, and buries her head in my chest, sobs tearing through her small frame.

"It's ok, Princess. I'm sure Adrien will forgive you. You're a nice person, a wonderful person, so I'm sure it'll be ok."

"I don't think it will, Chat. Not after everything that that lying, manipulative, bitch has done. Not everything I did today…" She shakes her head violently, and I know that she's just trying to protect herself and what little she has left. She's hurting so completely, and she's just trying to protect herself.