Nothing Left to Lose: Chapter 6 – Selfish

Thanks for all of the support that this story is getting it really means a lot and helps me to continue having motivation. I would just like to take a moment and give a shoutout to Guineapiggirl60. Thank you very much for your kind reviews, and I'm very happy to hear that you have been self-harm clear for 4 months, so keep being strong. All of the descriptions come from my own experiences and feelings during breakdowns, anxiety attacks and all the rest. I've seen a few takes on this kind of fic, and loved them, so now I'm giving it my own crack. Again, thank you very much, Guineapiggirl60.

The sun is just beginning to set, faint hues of reds and purples and oranges painting the sky, and the view is beautiful. I decide that if Chat leaves soon enough, I'll go up to the Eiffel Tower to take admire it for a while, and just forget that my problems exist for those 10 minutes of sunset.

Chat watches me and draws his eyes to the window.

"It's so pretty. It almost seems out of place." I mutter, both to myself and to Chat.

"Yes, it really is. I know how to make it even better." I whip my head around to him, and yelp as he suddenly picks me up bridal style, carrying me from my room, launching us through Paris.

"Chat, what –'' I begin, but he just shushes me, promising me I'll like it.

"The Eiffel Tower?" I ask as he sets me down on my feet. I take in the sight of the setting sun, with nothing in the way to obstruct my view. The sky is gorgeous and looks like it's being set on fire with colour. In the distance, I can see a glowing yellow ball slowly disappear behind the buildings, and I turn to look at Chat Noir, who's stayed behind me while I subconsciously walked forward.

"I told you you'd like it, Purrincess."

"Thank you, Chat, really. For all of this. But…why? Why are you doing all of this for me?"

"Because I care about you, Princess. You're one of my closest friends, and well…I don't really have many. You're a wonderful person, and no matter what's going on, it doesn't change that. Seriously. I know who you are, and who you are is not a bad person. And trust me, when it comes from a superhero, it's serious business." He chuckles, and I chuckle with him Soon, the small chuckle turns into a truly joyous sound, and I feel like myself again. "See? That's the Marinette I know."

Chat opens his arms to me, and I smile up at him, and allow myself to be engulfed in his strong, safe arms.

"You don't know how much this means to me, Chat."

"Trust me, I know, Princess."

CHAT NOIR

Having Marinette in my arms just feel right. I knew that Marinette was still the same person. No matter who they see as, I know who she truly is. I see her.

"I'm always gonna be here, Marinette. I promise you; I won't ever abandon you." I find myself needing to tell her of this, especially since everyone else has. I'll be here for her as Chat Noir and Adrien, no matter how much she might push Adrien away, as both of my persona's I'll keep trying and never let her go.

"Ok, but I'm going to hold you to that, Chat. Don't make me turn you into a liar." She whispers, looking up at me and giving me a sweet smile. That's my beautiful Princess.

Something swells in my heart, and I can't tell what it is or why it did. All I know, is that I want to hold Marinette in my arms forever and be able to always call her mine. "Princess?" She hums, her eyes closed and cheek resting against my chest. I know that she can feel my heartbeat erratically in my chest as I grasp her chin between my thumb and pointer-finger.

"Kitty? What is it?" She asks when I don't speak, don't do anything. I'm debating everything, rapidly running through every scenario, every single possible way that what I'm about to do could go.

My head slowly leans down, watching her. It feels right. So absolutely right.

And then I pull away.

Marinette looks at me so utterly confused, and I turn around, confused myself and trying to process everything.

"Why did you stop?" She asks quietly. When I turn around, she hasn't moved at all, she's still just watching me and waiting.

"What?"

"Why did you stop?"

MARINETTE

I'm not sure why Chat Noir was about to kiss me, or why he didn't. I do know that I wanted him to. I need it, that feeling of passion and love, and maybe it's purely selfish of me, but I can't bring myself to care in this moment.

I want him to kiss me and hold me and make it all better, just for a few moments.

When he doesn't answer me the first time, I try again, looking into his glowing eyes endearingly.

"Because it's not right. Not now." Oh. I suppose that makes sense, I guess. While I still want him to kiss me, I won't try anything, I won't ask him to, because I agree. I mean, my only reason for wanting him to kiss me is entirely selfish. It would be using him, and that's not something I want to do to Chat. No, we'd both just end up hurt.

"Ok."

The sun has almost completely set, the sky now turned dark. Seeming to think of the same thing, we both say that Chat should take me back now. We have a small chuckle, before he picks me back up into bridal style, and takes me back home.

"I need to get home. I've been gone for too long. Sorry, Princess." Chat says, offering me a small smile.

"No, it's ok Chat. I get it. But…will you come back tomorrow night?"

"Of course, Princess." He seems to think for a moment, and then he gives me a small, lingering kiss on the cheek. Before I can react to him, he's already gone.

Perhaps we're both selfish.