Set in an alternate universe where Donna moved to L.A weeks after resigning from the firm in 7x13.

This is a story that will be told in multiple parts.

Trigger warnings, if any, will be placed before the start of each chapter

This story is based on the song "Gone" by Blake Rose

Trigger Warnings: Depression, Alcohol abuse

I'm sitting here cold as ice

Swallow my friend's advice

Praying it'll bring you back to me

Designed through radio static

I start hearing your voice reply

Almost like you're right here with me

Harvey…

Her voice lingers in his ears, defeating the song playing in the bar. Oh the sweet sound that he has not heard in months, but he remembers it all too well.

Harvey…

He slowly cocks his head to the side as he sees red hair in the distance, among the sea of people, he squints as he doesn't believe his eyes. He almost mumbles her name but a figure appears in his peripheral vision.

"Another?"

Harvey snaps out of his trance. He looks up at Chad, his bartender, who is waiting for his reply. "What?"

Chad points at the empty glass in his hand. Harvey looks down then slides it over to the other side of the bar counter. "Yes please." He looks back in the direction where he saw the red hair only to be disappointed when he sees that it belonged to a woman in her early 20s. He lets out a deep breath.

"Long day? Couldn't help but notice you blanking out there. It's unlike you."

"Oh." He lies, "Yeah, I had this case to review and I have a trial coming up tomorrow." He pauses, distracted by the music playing and by who he thought he just saw. "Sorry, what song is this?"

Chad slowly pours him another ounce of scotch. "A song by some dude named Blake Rose." He taps his phone then sees the title. "Ah, it's titled 'Gone'. You dig it?"

Harvey chuckles, he does not dig it, it makes him want to puke. "No, It's depressing. This place used to have good music."

"This is good music."

"For millennials like you."

"Do you want me to change it?" Chad asks sarcastically as he slides the glass over. Harvey shakes his head, "Nah, I don't want to be that person."

The bartender lets out a laugh and he leans on the bar, "Yeah you are." Harvey downs the drink in one gulp, his eyes darting a bit to his left and sees the look of horror on the youngster's face.

"Damn, Mr. Specter, didn't you say you have a trial tomorrow?"

"Yeah, but since when has that ever stopped me from doing this?"

"You're starting to scare me. Will your driver be dropping you home?"

"That's the plan." He smirks. "And yes, so pour me three more then I'll be on my way."

"You're the boss." Chad happily does so knowing he will be receiving another generous tip from his favorite customer.

Half an hour later, Harvey is nearly dragging his own feet out of the bar. He admits, he may have taken in one too many drinks tonight but he can't help it, the buzz feels too good. Ray immediately rushes to his side to assist him but he nudges his driver's hands away.

"I'm fine," He slurs, "Just open the door." Ray helps him into the back then circles the car to get into the driver's seat. "Home, Mr. Specter?"

"Yes."

Ray nods then starts driving off. Harvey leans back against his seat and looks at the busy streets of New York City, they may be blurry, but to him they look better that way.

"Hey Ray, play the song "Gone" by a guy named Blake, and keep it on repeat until we… we reach home."

"No problem, Mr. Specter." Ray slows the car down to search for the song on his phone and connect it to the car's sound system. Harvey pays attention to every lyric, allowing them to sink in. He eventually dozes off.

Harvey...

Ray gently shakes his boss to wake him from his sleep. Harvey opens his eyes to see both Ray and Charlie, his building's security guard, helping him get out of the car and on his feet.

"Ch...Charlieeee.." He says with a drunken smile.

"How many drinks has he had this time?" Charlie asks Ray in concern.

"I really can't tell."

They hold Harvey up by both his arms as they escort the man to the elevator and up to his apartment. Charlie searches Harvey's suit jacket for the key to his apartment but he gets pushed away.

"Hey officer… This is illegal searches and s-s-seizures… I should know… I'm a lawyer!" Harvey drunkenly yells.

"We are just looking for your keys, Mr. Specter. Hush now, you would not want to wake your neighbors."

"Pffffft. Neighbors."

The door swings open and they help Harvey inside. "I'll take it from here, f-fellas. Good night."

"But-"

"I said good night, Ray." He slams the door in both men's faces. He sighs as he sees the sight of his dimly lit apartment. Even though the atmosphere and ambiance is cold, it never felt more like home, because he has never known the warmth of a real one.

So don't tell me when it's over

I don't wanna know

I'm done carrying the weight of the world

So heavy on my shoulders

He stumbles his way to his kitchen. He wiggles his way out of his suit jacket then drops it to the floor. He struggles to open his refrigerator but eventually manages to do so. He grabs a bottle of beer then removes the cap with his teeth, months of practicing lead him to mastering how to do it. He brings it to his mouth and starts chugging down half the bottle, only pulling away to breathe. He rubs his mouth against his arm, leaving a wet mark on his dress shirt. He leans against his counter for balance.

The last time he saw her was at Mike and Rachel's wedding. They didn't get to talk much after she left the firm. Despite Harvey ripping up her resignation letter in front of her face, she couldn't stand the idea of working with him after all the hurt he put her through. She said she needed some space and so he respected that and gave her what she asked for. They didn't even get to talk much during the wedding, just a quick exchange of "Hi, how are you?" and "I'm good, you?".

He gave her the space she asked for. But it turns out, she wanted actual space from him, 2,790 miles of space to be exact. She moved to LA shortly after the wedding. She didn't bother to notify anybody but Rachel, she just packed up and left, cutting off all contact from everybody in the firm, including Louis.

Harvey found out because he went to her place to check up on her only to have an asian couple and their two kids greet him at her door. They tell him they saw the ad for this apartment on Airbnb. After an angry phone call with Mike, he got the answer he hoped wasn't true. She left him and his life has been going downhill ever since.

The memory just makes him want to drink even more. Just as he's about to take another sip, he once again hears his name being called.

Harvey…

It startles him at first until he realizes that it's her voice again and it's much louder this time. He turns around to see where it's coming from. "I hear you." He mumbles.

Harvey…

He starts walking towards his bedroom, beer bottle in hand, holding onto any piece of furniture or wall he can reach to help stabilize him. "Where are you?" He raises his voice.

I just wanna feel this love

Even if it's only when I'm tripping I see your face

I ain't doing no one a favour while I'm sober

He turns around again and finally sees her outside on his balcony. He drops his bottle on the ground in shock as his knees go even weaker. She's standing in a white dress that hugs her body so perfectly. He rubs his eyes to make sure he isn't dreaming. The midnight moon puts her in a spotlight, her red hair standing out. His breath hitches in his throat as he takes small steps towards her, he can't believe what he's seeing right now.

"Donna…" He whispers then his shoulders drop. It's the first time he has said her name out loud in months.

She's smiling at him, no words can express how it feels to see his favorite smile in the entire world again. His mouth is open, unable to handle his emotions right now. He slowly walks towards her until he reaches the glass window then places his hand on it. "Donna?" He asks.

"Harvey…" She says again but he sees her smile turning into a look of concern. "What are you doing?"

"What?" He furrows his brows in confusion, his breathing has turned heavy from how overwhelmed he is.

She places her hand on the glass window too, right where his is. He can feel her warmth through it. She shakes her head very slowly. "Harvey, this isn't you."

For the moment I can only hope this lasts

Coz when the high stops then I know that you're gone

"No…" He mumbles, "No no no no no!" He raises his voice as he watches her fade into nothing right in front of him.

"Fuck!" He punches his fist against the glass then groans because of the impact. He runs his hands through his hair as he looks at every corner of his apartment for her.

"Donna!" He screams in pain at the top of his lungs. Letting all of his frustrations out in one go.

He hyperventilates when he realizes she isn't here, that she was never here to begin with. It was just him all along. Just him in this cold, dark, and empty stupid apartment that he hates so much. He leans against the glass window then slides down until he reaches the floor. A tear starts streaming down his cheek. She's gone.

And she is not coming back.

Hello, reader! Thank you for showing interest in this story enough to read it. It will be a multi-chap, yes, and I will do my best to post a new chapter every week until the story reaches its conclusions. I would love to hear your thoughts on this first chapter. I would appreciate any comment and/or criticism you may have for me.