Hi everybody! I just want to say that I am overwhelmed by all the reviews, you guys are the sweetest ever :) Thank you so much, it really keeps me going.
The mid-afternoon sun is shining through floor to ceiling glass windows of LAX, crowds of people bustling through the pre-departure area either making their way to their respective boarding gates or looking for an empty seat. Among the sea of people is one particular redhead, seated in the middle of an empty metal bench with a phone glued to her ear.
"Monica, you're not listening to me. We have to draft a press release right now, a delay in doing so would only make us look bad and guilty when we know we aren't."
"But we need to confer with Legal first. We have to make sure that our position is strong so that our statement won't backfire." Monica, her subordinate, argues.
"All statements get backfire no matter what. There is no way of knowing..." Dona gets cut off by a PA announcement. "Hold on." She stops talking and brings the phone down to her chest.
"This is the boarding announcement for American Airlines flight 3230 to Seattle, Washington. We are now inviting first class and business class passengers to proceed to boarding gate number 117 at this time. Please have your boarding pass and identification ready. Regular boarding will begin in approximately ten minutes time. Thank you."
"Donna? Hello?" Monica''s voice is muffled, Donna brings the phone back to her ear.
"Monica, that was my call for boarding. You know what, fine, do it your way. Set up that meeting with Legal then send me a pdf of the draft once it's ready." Donna ends the call. She closes the Variety magazine she had been skimming through the past hour, tosses it onto the empty seat next to her, prepares her carry-on bag, and gets up to stand in line.
She goes through a couple of her emails while waiting for her turn, taking a few steps forward every time someone walks through the gate. She looks up just in time, it's her turn now. She puts her phone away, and hands over her ID and boarding pass to the lady behind the desk.
"Donna Paulsen?"
"Yes. Good afternoon." Donna smiles.
"Good afternoon." The woman scans the barcode on her boarding pass and hands the items back to her. "Have a safe flight."
"Thank you." Donna walks through the tunnel and into the business class section of the plane where she presents her boarding pass again to a handsome steward, he takes a quick look then guides her to her seat.
"Can I get you anything? Coffee, tea, a beer, some champagne?"
"Champagne would be lovely. Thank you." Donna says as she fastens her seatbelt. He comes back three minutes later with the glass she asked for.
Donna places her phone on vibrate then sighs as she looks out her window. She is looking forward to this weekend with Rachel in Seattle. They haven't seen each other in three months
"Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen. On behalf of American Airlines, it is my pleasure to welcome you aboard flight 3230 bound for Seattle, Washington. Federal regulations require that carry-on items are stowed prior to closing the aircraft door. Your items may be placed in an overhead compartment, or completely under the seat in front of you…"
Donna looks down at her phone to shoot Rachel a quick text.
About to take off now. See you in about 3-4 hours! :)
She brings her attention back to the flight attendant. "...Our flight will be approximately 3 hours and 15 minutes long and are expected to arrive at our destination at 28 minutes past the hour of 5 in the afternoon, pacific standard time."
Donna takes a sip of her champagne, allowing herself to relax after a long week at work. She puts on her airpods in hopes of getting lost in a playlist of some of her favorite music. This is going to be a great weekend, nothing is going to ruin this one.
.
Donna arrives at Mike and Rachel's building at exactly 6:30 pm. She smiles at the security guard who opens the glass door for her. She thanks her then proceeds to the front desk."
"Hi. I'm Donna Paulsen, Rachel Zane-Ross at apartment 714 is expecting me."
"Hello. Hold on, let me phone 714."
"Sure." The receptionist brings the telephone to his ear and dials Rachel's number. Donna lightly taps her fingers in a beat. She looks around the lobby and appreciates its elegance. Mike and Rachel did a good job at finding a gorgeous place with hotel-like services, great security, and at the best spot in the city.
"Miss Paulsen? May I lead you to the elevator?"
"It's fine, I've been here before. Thank you."
"Have a great evening." The young receptionist smiles, Donna returns it and bids him the same.
She gets into the elevator and presses 7. No words can describe how excited she is to finally see her best friend. A couple minutes later, she's knocking on the door or apartment 714.
"Hey you!" Rachel screams as she opens the door.
"Hi, Rach." They hug, both women ecstatic. Rachel's eyes dart towards Donna's luggage right away.
"You came straight here from the airport?" The brunette pulls away then rubs her best friend's arms.
"Yeah, there was a delay in getting the luggage. One of the carousels wasn't working so we had to be redirected to another carousel, you know, that shit. And I didn't want to be late for our dinner!"
"Aww you poor thing. Come on in! Speaking of your flight, How was it?" Rachel steps aside to allow Donna in.
Donna rolls her luggage into a corner of their apartment, "It was fine, I didn't get an ounce of sleep but the ride was smooth."
"That's good to hear. Hey, I'm pretty surprised you flew in on a Friday, how did you manage that?"
"The secret is to work extra hard two weeks prior." Donna winks then laughs, "Smells amazing, what's cooking?"
Rachel puts on a pair of oven mittens, "You're just in time. My famous roast chicken is finally ready." She pulls the pot out of the oven and its aroma instantly fills the air.
Donna moans, "Oh my god, I missed your roast chicken so much."
"I know, that's why I chose to make it tonight."
"Will Mike be joining us?"
"Probably for dessert. He had to stay to go over a case he'll be covering in two days."
"Oooh, sounds exciting. What's the case?" Donna asks curiously.
"Promise not to laugh?"
"No guarantees."
Rachel sighs, "Old ladies suing their condo association."
Ten seconds of silence fills the air before both women crack up and burst into laughter. Rachel tries her best not to drop her signature dish while Donna puts a hand over her tummy.
"God, we are a long way from New York." Donna says, sighing.
"We really are. I mean, who would've thought right?"
"Well, for what it's worth, I'm glad you and Mike are finally fighting for the right people now." Donna smiles.
"And I'm glad you're happy with your job right now." Rachel walks over to the dining table with the pot of roast chicken in hand. She places the pot down then continues to set the table.
Donna's smile fades. Sure, being the Director of Issues Management of Stu's startup PR firm is a great opportunity, and she's grateful to have a good job and a good title, but she does not love what she is doing, and she is definitely not happy. But she can't let Rachel know that, she can't risk her best friend feeling sorry for her so she shakes the temporary moment of sadness away.
"Let's eat!" Rachel says as she unties her apron and sets it aside.
Donna pulls out a bottle of their favorite red wine from her purse and holds it up like it's a trophy, "I didn't come empty handed."
"Awww, you stopped by a wine place before coming here? You didn't have to go through all that trouble."
"Who am I if not thoughtful?" Donna takes the corkscrew on the kitchen counter and pops the bottle open. She walks over to the table and pours both of them an ample amount. She takes her seat right across from Rachel and raises her glass, "To friendship."
Rachel raises her glass back, "To friendship." They both take big sips then proceed to dinner.
An hour and half a wine bottle later, both women are laughing over a series of silly memories, trying to recall every single thing they did together. Rachel notices that the stories Donna is telling are the ones that don't include Harvey. In fact, she's pretending like he doesn't exist at all.
But Rachel also notices another thing, Donna is starting to loosen up, she thinks twice about what she plans to say because she bears information she believes Donna should know about.
Louise called Mike earlier today. He informed Mike of Harvey's state the last 8 months and asked him if he could give Harvey a call to cheer him up or motivate him. The news devastated Mike, because the Harvey Louis was describing is not the Harvey Mike knew and adored. This is a different Harvey. But Mike had to decline Louis' suggestion. He tells Louis that Harvey never spoke to him again after he found out that Mike was withholding information about Donna, that he knew she was leaving for LA and never told him about it.
Donna sees how Rachel's sudden shift in mood, she cocks her head to the side and gives a small smile. "Hey, you okay?"
Rachel snaps out of her trance and smiles back, but awkwardly. "Yeah. I just miss New York sometimes."
"I do too."
"You do?" Rachel's voice shoots an octave higher, this catches Donna off guard.
Donna gives her a suspicious look then takes a sip of her wine and shrugs, "Sometimes."
Perfect. This could be the perfect opportunity to bring up the conversation she and Mike had earlier today.
"Speaking of New York, Mike received a phone call from a very worried Louis Litt today." Rachel tries her best to sound calm but deep inside, her anxiety is eating her up.
"Really? About what?" Donna taps her fingers on the table.
Rachel takes a deep breath through her nose before she says what she knows could possibly start an argument between them. "It's about him." She bites her lip right after she says it.
Donna's eyes shoot up to meet Rachel's. "No."
Rachel talks slowly, hoping it would get the message across better, "Donna, he's slipping."
"Stop talking." Her voice is firm.
"He lost three consecutive court cases. Three! And now he has just been sanctioned by a judge for not showing up to court today. Tell me you know that's not normal."
Donna interrupts, "I said stop talking." She uses a table napkin to pat her mouth dry then gets up to bring her empty plate to the sink.
Rachel gets up as well and follows her to the kitchen, "Donna, I'm not telling you all this to upset you, you need to know what's going on over there."
"No, I don't!" Donna yells. Rachel is taken aback. "I don't ever need to know what's going on with him, that's why I moved, remember?" Donna feels betrayed, Rachel of all people knows how sensitive this topic is to her and still decided to tell her anyway. She blinks away the buildup of tears in her eyes, "Thank you for dinner, but I have to go now."
Donna grabs her purse on the kitchen counter and her luggage she tucked in the corner and makes her way to the door.
"Donna," Rachel sighs as she calls after her best friend, she places a hand on her forehead, she knows she screwed up. "Donna, I'm sorry."
"It's not your fault, Rach, I just," She pauses then looks at Rachel, "Need time to myself, I had a long day." She lies. "I'll see you tomorrow?"
Rachel presses her lips together then nods slowly. Donna sees herself out then makes her way to the end of the hallway towards the elevator. Once she reaches the ground floor, she hails a cab and jumps in, giving the driver the address to the hotel she is staying at.
On the cab ride to the hotel, Donna is sulking in her sorrow. She feels so bad about raising her voice at Rachel so she pulls out her phone and sends Rachel a quick apology and promises to make it up to her. She leans her head against the window and closes her eyes, this ride has never felt longer.
.
Back at Mike and Rachel's apartment, Mike enters with a huge smile on his face, a briefcase in one hand and a paper bag of Rachel's favorite pastry shop. He sees his wife leaning over the kitchen counter looking very upset. He kisses her on the forehead first before asking "Hey, you alright? Where's Donna?"
"You just missed her. She left about five minutes ago."
"What happened? I thought she was staying for dessert? I bought us cheesecake."
Rachel swallows and places her head in her hands. Mike knows her too well, something is wrong. He places both the briefcase and the cheesecake on the counter and pulls her closer to him. "What happened?"
Rachel looks up at him, "I'm sorry."
Mike's eyes widen, he instantly gets why she is apologizing. "You told her?"
"Mike, she needed to know."
He runs a hand through his hair and places the other on his hip. "I know that, Rachel, but was tonight the best time to do that?"
Rachel shakes her head and slouches, "I know, I screwed the entire thing up. I should've just waited for you."
"How did she take it?"
"Not well, obviously. She's not here, is she?"
Mike sees the amount of stress her guilt is causing her. She had good intentions, it just didn't go well. His face and voice softens, "You're right. She needed to know. You did the right thing, Rachel." He reassures her.
She gives him a sad smile then hugs him. "I just hope she knows how…"
Mike shushes her. "Don't worry about her. She'll be fine." He places his forehead on top of hers. They continue to hold each other until Rachel feels better.
.
At the Hyatt Regency Hotel, Donna is finally settled into her room. She took a quick hot shower to rinse herself from airport germs and the smell of roast chicken. She opens the fridge and sees that there are free travel-sized bottles of Johnnie Walker Double Black. She takes it and pours half of it onto a glass. She walks over to the window in her white robe to see a glimpse of Seattle's skyline at night. It's beautiful, yes, but not as beautiful as New York.
New York.
Harvey.
She downs her drink in one go and hisses as the liquor burns her throat. She replays her entire conversation with Rachel in her head. Her thoughts are so loud it's like she can hear them.
He lost three consecutive court cases. Three! And now he has just been sanctioned by a judge for not showing up to court today. Tell me you know that's not normal.
It is indeed not normal. She knows him. This isn't him. A part of her died as soon as she heard Rachel say those words. She is very concerned, there's no doubt about that, but she is wondering if this has something to do with her.
This is all my fault. No, Donna, this isn't. Harvey is a grown man, he is responsible for his own actions, not you. He had panic attacks the first time I left him, what if I really damaged him this time? No, your leaving was good for you and it still is. It was about time you chose yourself over him.
She covers her ears, hoping it would put an end to the internal argument she just had with her conscience. She finally allows herself to cry over him, she hasn't done so in a while, well, she forbade herself to.
Her breath shakes and she places a hand on her heart. She feels every single tear going down her cheek and neck. She doesn't want to go through this again, she has already been through so much with him and now she's back to square one. Right when she thought she was free of him, all it took was one bad update about him for her to give into her feelings again.
But she can't keep doing this to herself. She can't keep faltering or rethinking and second-guessing her decision about leaving. She has to stand her ground. She may not love LA as much as she loved NY, or her current job as much as she loved being COO, but over the past 8 months she finally learned to love herself after spending almost 13 years loving Harvey. That's what's important.
It's only 9 in the evening but the day is finally getting to her. She wipes her tears away using the sleeve of her robe. She switches all the lights off but leaves the curtains open. She gets into bed and allows herself to drift off to sleep, praying to anyone who is listening that she won't dream of him tonight.
.
10:17 pm. Only about an hour later, Donna is awoken by her phone ringing.
Donna sleepily reaches for her phone on the nightstand. She checks it but it's a number she doesn't recognize. She answers it anyway and groans. "Hello?"
"Is this Donna Paulsen?"
"Yes, this is she. May I ask who's calling?" She yawns.
"My name is Linda, I'm an emergency room nurse from Mount Sinai Hospital in New York. I'm calling to inform you that you are listed as the emergency contact for a…Mr. Harvey Specter."
Donna immediately sits up, "W-what happened?" She feels her heart rate starting to increase.
"He has been in an accident."
Hello, reader! I hope you enjoyed this week's update. It took me a while to come up with Donna's job so I would like to thank Jil (_shipsandfandoms) and Nikka (nikkaq_) for helping me brainstorm and for being the best support system ever.