The mist was blown away by the force of her presence, revealing a lion headed goddess covered in the golden aura of her divinity. "Normally I'd ask much more complicated questions and test you to make sure you were worthy, but as you're an agent of Slutlife you get the easy version."

"Find the Whey… I thought the description for it sounded familiar. Let me guess, the joint I smoked included a heart shaped herb?" Adam asked.

Bast, the Egyptian goddess of cats, gave a feline grin. "While you won't gain the full powers of one of my chosen, you will gain the majority of the benefits. Now, what is your answer?"

"I don't know, are you an inhale or an exhale person? Shut up and hand me the damn animal so I can talk in a weird voice to it," Adam told her.

Bast just stared at him speechless for a second before giggling. "I suppose that is sufficient answer to my question and will count as a pass, but just between you and me, which do you prefer?"

Adam grinned. "I love cats, they are much more independent than dogs and don't bark nearly as much."

"Good answer," Bast said, "you have my blessing. Would you like to go through the trials as a normal supplicant would?"

"Where the tests are based on who you truly are inside and force you to undergo trials that reveal hidden facets of your soul?" he asked.

"Yes," Bast agreed, "it's quite useful, often granting one hints as to powers they do not realize they possess."

"I'm a quarter old one and still coming to term with that, so I think I'll pass," Adam told her.

"Probably a wise decision," the goddess agreed after a moment of reflection.

"Are we done here?"

"You have to wait a full half hour in my spiritual realm as your body is slowly modified by my power," Bast told him.

"Got a deck of cards?"

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"Meg," Maggie said slowly, "why did you get upset about the jokes about the Terminators blowing Adam, but seem perfectly fine with comments about Lisa?"

"Maggie," Lisa hissed, "you can't just ask questions like that!"

"Because Lisa is my friend," Meg said with a smile. "She's one of the few people who's ever treated me like a human being and not a burden."

Lisa quickly wrapped Meg in a hug. "Eight or not, I should have figured out a way to get you away from those people," she chastised herself.

"I was prepared to accept a big tittied goth elf girl joining us," Meg continued, "since Adam told me how these things usually go, but instead got a friend I thought I would never see again."

"So, you already consider her a part of the harem," Maggie realized.

"Doesn't hurt that she's kind, intelligent, beautiful, and has an ass you can bounce a quarter off of," Meg said cheerfully.

"Ack!" Lisa quickly spun around to hide her blush, making the two giggle.

"I don't understand why she's so shy when she grew up in the same Vault that I did," Maggie said, shaking her head.

"I avoided all the… that," Lisa reminded her, turning around, her face still pretty red. "I also tried to keep you away from it."

"I fit into the vents," Maggie said with a grin. "I saw everything!"

"The vents? That's how you kept getting out of your room!" Lisa exclaimed.

"There are rooms that were only really accessible through the vents that I'd hide out in," Maggie said with a grin. "Not sure if that was by design or not, it's possible there were hidden ways in, but I never bothered looking for them, I was too busy going through the technical and medical library when I wasn't people watching."

"I should have thought of that," Lisa said with a frown. "Burns is the type of person who would put in hidden rooms and VIP areas."

The two Terminators returned with a redwood picnic table and a pair of benches which they set down and then stood at attention, waiting for further orders.

"Get us a case of Jack Daniels, two cases of Coke, a bag of ice, and some playing cards," Meg ordered the two cyborgs, before taking a seat at the table.

"I've got cards," Maggie said, sitting across from her and pulling a deck from her pocket as the two cyborgs left.

"Might as well play cards while we're waiting," Lisa said, taking a seat next to Meg, glad of the distraction.

One Hour Later…

"Wasn't it just supposed to take half an hour?" Meg asked as she laid out her cards. "Full House."

"Unless he decided to undergo the trials," Maggie replied, "but Bast rarely offers them to Agents unless she senses something special about them."

"He's not your normal agent," Lisa pointed out.

"True," Maggie agreed as she collected the cards and shuffled them.

Adam appeared next to the table in a burst of smoke, holding a handful of small gray bricks. "That went better than I thought," he said.

"Honey!" Meg exclaimed, hopping to her feet to give him a kiss.

"Sweetie," he replied, accepting the kiss and setting the bricks on the table. "Sorry for the delay, we were playing cards and got distracted."

"Is this vibranium?" Maggie asked, picking up one of the bars and examining it.

"Bast uses them like poker chips," Adam explained. "We played cards to help pass the time."

"Was she trying to hustle you?" Lisa asked. "I know some gods like to trick mortals into serving them."

"She was, but since I had no idea what we were playing she couldn't read me to tell if I was bluffing or not, so we stayed roughly even on wins and losses, besides if I lost, she would have just had me running around stealing cat themed artifacts from museums and private collections while dressed in black leather, which sounded like fun to be honest," Adam said accepting a cup from Meg.

"I'm stealing these," Maggie said waving one of the bricks in the air.

"Mark it down as a bribe," Adam told her.

"Consider it done," Maggie replied. "It's valuable enough to let me break some rules and get you your engines early."

"Why would there be a delay?" Meg asked, mixing Adam a Jack & Coke.

"Normally there wouldn't, as all three of the engines he's requested are easy to get a hold of, but that requires getting him to the lab and they want to keep him at arm's length until they are sure he isn't upset," Maggie reminded them.

"And with a bribe you can get away with ignoring it, because the company doesn't expect people to be angels, more the opposite," Meg realized.

"Exactly," Maggie agreed, slipping the small bricks in various pockets. "Now, lets clear the table, I need him laid out so I can apply the tattoo needed to grant him Healing Hands."

"Face down or up?" Adam asked, getting up and taking a sip of his drink.

"Face up," Maggie told him, "I'm putting it above your sacral chakra."

"Sacral chakra?" Meg asked.

"Just above the sack," Maggie said, with a smirk.

"Two to three inches below the belly button," Lisa corrected with a sigh, as she moved all the drinks out of the way.

"Same difference," Maggie said as Adam's clothes vanished and he laid down on the table. "Lisa, hold his penis out of the way while Meg distracts him, so he doesn't feel this."

"I don't think it's in the way," Lisa argued.

"They have been known to move, so I need you to hold it," Maggie explained as she examined the area above the base of his penis.

Lisa turned towards Meg who gave her an approving nod and a smile. Lisa reluctantly took him in hand, unconsciously licking her lips while Maggie and Meg exchanged matching grins.

"You're going to end up with a bald spot the size of a quarter," Maggie warned him as she used a pair of tweezers to pluck the hairs from the area she was working on.

Whatever Adam replied was muffled through Meg's mouth as she made out with him and Lisa added a second hand to hold him in place as his body responded.

"Is the tattooing going to hurt?" Lisa asked, trying to distract herself.

"I doubt it, but we're basically creating a permanent connection to The Plane of Life so it's going to have some effect," Maggie replied, carefully plucking another hair, making him twitch.

"I meant applying the ink," Lisa said.

"No, application will be completely painless, maybe a brief sensation of cold if anything," Maggie said as she ran her thumb across the spot she was working on, leaning close to make sure it was completely clear.

"Then why does Meg have to distract him rather than holding him out of the way?" Lisa asked.

Maggie shrugged. "Someone had to do it, though I suppose you could switch positions with Meg," she teased.

Lisa blushed and turned back to what she was doing which didn't help matters. "That's not a bad idea," she muttered.

"Hmm?" Meg asked, coming up for air.

"Nothing!" Lisa squeaked out. "I didn't say anything." She laughed nervously.

Maggie forced herself not to laugh as she pulled a small paper square out of her pocket and licked it, before pressing it against the bare spot on his skin.

"Is that a Lick It & Stick It tattoo?" Lisa asked in disbelief.

Maggie tapped it with her hammer and the paper dissolved as the temporary tattoo lit up with a golden glow, thousands of tiny symbols forming a circle that swirled and vanished, leaving no trace. "Yes," she replied. "It's almost impossible to get someone to hold still while you paint microscopic symbols on them," she explained, "breathing alone makes it necessary to triple check everything which is why Healing Hands costs what it does. This was my solution to that problem."

"So, will he get a discount since that wasn't necessary?" Lisa couldn't help but ask.

"No," Maggie said, "but I'll use his 'volunteering' for the experimental procedure as an excuse for upgrading his status when I bring him in for engine instillation."

"Can I let him go now?" Lisa asked hopefully.

"Let me take a reading real quick," Maggie said waving her hammer over him. "Perfect, we've got a nearly twelve percent increase over standard installation."

Lisa removed her hands and his erection smacked into his stomach. "What's next?"

Meg pulled back from Adam and let him sit up. "They're done. How do you feel?"

"My penis feels a little cold," he said with a frown.

"That's because Lisa stopped holding it, you dork," Meg said with a laugh.

"Yeah, that would do it," he agreed. "In that case I feel fine. Now, how do I do this?"

"You have to feel for the power connected to your sacral chakra," Maggie explained. "Just close your eyes and feel for the change."

Adam closed his eyes. After a few seconds he said, "The only difference I can feel is my penis is colder than it was."

Lisa sighed and grabbed his penis, Maggie adding her hand above her sister's, and Meg grasping the head.

"Eagle's claw," Meg said with a laugh.

"Try it now," Maggie ordered him.

"Okay," he said thoughtfully. "I think I can feel something."

"Picture it flowing to your-" Maggie began only to get interrupted by his penis suddenly lighting up, golden light leaking between their fingers.

"It's working," Meg said.

"Hands," Maggie finished. "Your own not ours," she added a second later.

The light faded from his crotch and his hands suddenly blazed with golden light.

"Okay, now memorize the feel of that and open your eyes," Maggie ordered.

Adam opened his eyes and then looked down at his hands with a smile. "It worked." He looked down at where the three were still holding him and grinned, his penis lighting up once more. "I can move it around." Glowing golden wings sprouted from his back and he frowned. "I think their normal light is actually brighter than the healing light, otherwise this would look pretty awesome."

Meg let go of him. "I think glowing wings and hands is pretty impressive all on its own."

"Can I let go now?" Lisa asked her sister.

"Yeah, he's got it," Maggie agreed, making no move to let go herself until Lisa reached over and pried her hand loose, making her pout.

Adam climbed off the table and his wings vanished just before his clothes reappeared. "How long have you girls been drinking?"

"Are you saying we're drunk and horny?" Maggie asked, placing a hand on her chest, mock offended.

"We're nowhere near drunk," Meg assured him, "we're still working on that."

"I can't install the engines until tomorrow," Maggie said tapping away on her tablet before slipping it into a pocket that was too small for it, "and I'm officially off the clock, so let's celebrate my genius with dinner and a massage."

"Massage?" Lisa asked, perking up.

"It's something the Terminators are all programmed with," Maggie explained.

"That does sound good," Adam agreed. "Let's jump to the hedonistic portion of the evening and get drunk and massaged."

"It's not quite evening yet," Meg pointed out, "but that sounds wonderful to me. Back to the Ritz Carlton?"

"Can the Terminators cook?" he asked.

"Also programmed in," Maggie said cheerfully.

"Then I think the Ritz Carlton for steak and massages sounds perfect," he replied.

Maggie waved the two Terminators over. "We need dinner for four over at the Ritz Carlton, steak and whiskey, along with massages for four."

"Affirmative," the two Terminators chorused in their dull monotone before turning and marching through the World Gate, followed by the four.

Beta by: Abyssal Angel & Mist of Shadows