"Danny, welcome home!"
Kyle welcomed Danny with a dad hug after he walked right into the Masterson's kitchen without knocking on Sunday afternoon.
"Chief."
"Hey loser." Jo greeted him as well.
"Hey! Thanks for having me, saved me a ton of money—"
"Of course, you're always welcome. You ready for this? It's gonna be a hell of a week."
"Not really. I'm not happy about reliving this shit again." Danny seemed truly uneasy about the whole thing.
"It's all just a formality to get them the most prison time possible. You're doing a great thing." Kyle almost twinkled with positivity.
"Why are you so happy?" Danny squinted at him in curiosity.
"Do I seem happier?" Kyle smiled.
Jo rolled her eyes and stood, "I'll be on the roof." Jo took the stairs two at a time just as Tess walked in with fresh eggs from the chicken coop.
"Dannyyyy!" Tess shoved the basket into Kyle's chest and gave Danny the biggest hug.
"Tess. You're—back home?"
Tess and Kyle exchanged a look, "We're working on it. Taking it slow." Tess smiled warmly.
"I'm happy for you guys."
"How's it going in your new place?" Tess wondered, hoping he was eating and staying out of trouble.
"Okay. The girls and I are figuring it out. It's nice to have Jo to talk to." Danny looked over at the stairs, "I'm gonna go talk to her."
Danny made his way up to the roof to catch up with Jo. He found her sitting and watching the sun set. Danny did the same and didn't say a word at first.
"She came back last week." Jo said before Danny could even ask her about it.
"You didn't tell me."
"She's not worth the update."
"Did you talk to her yet?"
"Nope."
"If I talk to Lacey will you talk to your mom?"
"If you're serious, yes. I can't handle you two asking me all these questions back and forth about each other—"
"Lacey asks questions about me?" Danny beamed.
"Please, Danny—I'm begging you."
"It's a deal. You talk with Tess, I'll talk to Lacey."
"Okay but I'm not talking about just saying hi and then fucking in the woods—"
Danny laughed, "No promises."
"I'm serious!" Jo shoved him.
Danny heard the text notification he set up exclusively for Lacey's texts and pulled his phone out of his pocket.
"Speaking of Lacey."
Lacey: You home?
Danny: Did everyone in town see the car?
Lacey: It's hard to miss :)
Danny: I'm home
Lacey: I'm testifying tomorrow, I guess I'll see you there?
Danny: Hell no, I'm not waiting that long!
Danny: Come by tonight. Please? I miss you.
Lacey: Okay, when?
Danny: Our spot at 9?
Lacey: Kk
"If you could see your face right now—"
"She's down for talking tonight." Danny's smile intensified.
"Let me guess, in the woods?"
"Jo, we have a spot, okay?"
"Just promise me you'll talk at some point."
"We'll definitely be saying things."
"You're ridiculous." Jo giggled briefly.
"What's up with Tyler?"
"We're done."
Danny nodded, not sure what else to say about that.
"Rico and I were probably the better match, but I'm tired of being with guys that are so easily led. Let them go walk into whatever trouble they're after."
"Well said. You definitely deserve someone whose eyes are on you and not their next opportunity."
Danny pulled his elastic out and swooped his hair back up in a more secure bun. Jo watched him with equal parts love and thankfulness.
Danny was attractive and had so many great qualities, but Jo was thankful that he chose to find a way to stay in her life even though he didn't feel the same romantic feelings she did. After all this time, he really was settling into a natural sibling role in her life. She trusted him and when he showed up tonight at the farm, it felt like her family was complete.
"Wanna ride Champ before it gets too dark?" Jo stood and reached to pull Danny to his feet.
"Yep!"
After horseback riding with Jo, Danny settled into his usual room upstairs and then headed into town to try and make his reunion with Lacey as special as she is.
Lacey was working her ass off with a full class load at Green Grove Community College. Even if they weren't together, he wanted to make her life easier, to show her how much he cared about her.
He ran around to a bunch of shops to find things to add to a care package for her: The hair supplies she loved most, bath bombs, her favorite candy, gift cards to the book store and the coffee shop near campus. He found a journal and some interesting pens, an insulated coffee mug, a throw blanket, an air freshener for her car, fuzzy socks, mints and a new pair of earbuds.
He wanted to do so much more, jewelry, clothes, essential oils, but he definitely didn't have the money and also didn't want to make things more awkward or confusing if Lacey was still in 'friends only' mode toward him.
Next, Danny stopped at the florist and grabbed Lacey a few live plants and mini succulents that the florist expertly staged to look like a bouquet. He thought that she might like something like these that wouldn't die after a week.
His last mission was to call Johnny Cakes to order a bunch of the food she loved. Even though he had basically ditched them on a busy weekend, Johnny and rest of the crew welcomed him like an old friend. It felt strangely good to be back.
Danny made it back to the farm with just enough time for Jo to help him drag all his shit into the woods and set it up.
"This is your spot?" Jo looked around at the pseudo-stage where she and Lacey had played as kids.
"I'm pretty sure I inherited it from my sister." Danny smiled as he laid out a blanket and began to light candles.
"Wow." Jo checked out the contents of the gift bag that Danny had curated, "Wow." She repeated as she really saw all of the love he put into this.
"Am I trying too hard?"
"I think she'll love it." Jo admitted honestly and handed him the two bottles of wine she stole from her parents, "This should help with the talking part." She smiled and handed him two wine glasses.
"You're amazing, Jo. Thank you for your help." Danny hugged her quickly and she ran away to let him do his thing.
Lacey didn't show at 9. Danny paced around, double checking the time they had agreed to in their texts and triple checking the time on his phone: 9:10.
Danny: Just checking to see if maybe our spot is actually somewhere else?
When she didn't respond right away, every insecurity Danny had about them came rushing back to the front of his mind. Maybe she was trying to teach him a lesson about respect, maybe she didn't really want to come, maybe she found better plans.
Lacey: Oh my god, I am so sorry! I thought I set my alarm! I got into this assignment and totally lost track of time
Danny: No worries
Lacey: I'm on my way now
Danny: drive safe
Danny exhaled and swore he felt about ten pounds lighter.
Fifteen minutes later he could see a tiny phone flashlight coming down the path in the woods and could hear the sound of leaves crunching beneath her feet. Danny felt a jolt of excitement, he couldn't wait to see her.
"Hey!" Danny greeted her, giving her a huge hug while spinning her around once.
"Hi." Lacey giggled at his enthusiasm.
Once their spot came into focus she realized there were candles everywhere, a lush blanket and her favorite food.
"What's all this?"
"I grabbed a few things, just wanted us to be comfortable out here while we caught up."
Lacey climbed up onto the platform and settled in, sampling the food Danny selected. Danny did the same.
"This is so nice, I didn't really get to eat dinner."
"This is for you—" Danny handed her the little bouquet of plants.
"Aww, Danny! This is so sweet, I love it!"
"This too—" Danny passed her the gift bag, "Thought some of it might help when you're short on time or when you've had a long day."
Lacey peeked in the bag and reached in to review the items inside.
"You're spoiling me." Lacey's smile softened a little and she slid the bag to the side, "Why?"
Danny wasn't sure what he expected her reaction to be, but a one-word, almost accusatory question, wasn't it.
"Like I said, I just thought it might be helpful." Danny sat up straighter, "Are you upset?"
"You've never done this before, I'm just wondering why this grand gesture is happening now?"
"It's just a few things, I don't know if I'd call it grand—"
"I don't need this stuff."
"Okay—"
"You don't get it." Lacey said to herself.
"That is something we can agree on." Danny's heart broke, "Please help me understand."
"These gifts, this is the same insecurity you had over a month ago only worse."
"Worse?"
"A month ago you pedaled me all that bullshit about how I deserve to be loved by someone that can 'love me the same way that I love them.'" Lacey said with air quotes.
"I meant that."
"I don't show my love by buying stuff."
"I-I just wanted to do something nice—"
"It is nice. It's very nice." Lacey stood up, Danny did too, "I'm not looking for nice. You don't need to impress me, I don't want to be courted. I wanted the break because I'm busy as hell." She really was upset.
"Lacey—"
"I don't want any of this." Lacey picked up the bag and handed it back to him, "I just want you."
Danny set the bag down and two of them just stared at each other. Danny was trying to figure out where to go from here and Lacey was waiting to see that it clicked, that he finally understood what she needed. It wasn't registering, maybe this was a mistake, too soon to jump back in again.
"Goodnight, Danny." Lacey climbed down from the platform and sent Danny scurrying after her.
"Lacey, wait. Wait, please?" He walked fast up beside her, "Please?"
Lacey kept walking but turned her face toward him. She decided to clarify further, he seemed to want to figure it out so she laid it all out again.
"Danny, you said you wanted a break because you think you suck and you're not good enough for me. I said I wanted a break because I couldn't be both halves of our relationship and worry about school at the same time."
Danny heard her, still not exactly sure what she needed from him in the way that she wanted, but he was ready to say his piece now too and see where they ended up.
"I have worked on myself, I have goals I've set, I have a job, I pay rent. I'm still recovering from this horrific summer but I'm not insecure about the way I feel about us or what I can offer you, not anymore. The gifts, I'm not trying to impress you or win you back, I—I just wanted to do something nice and I'm terrible at starting up real conversations, the kind I know we need to have." Lacey kept walking, "Please—"
Danny didn't know how to make her want to stay but decided reaching for her arm right now might just get him killed.
Lacey remained silent for a few beats and finally stopped walking, "I'm sorry I've been kind of a bitch, okay? I'm about to miss a week of school for this trial bullshit and I'm just—"
Danny nodded, "It's okay. Come back? Please—"
Lacey crossed her arms around herself and they walked back to their spot. She didn't sit back down, something that Danny viewed as a way to prep herself to easily walk away again.
Danny knew they needed to get deep with their conversation so he decided to keep his mouth shut and open the wine first. He poured them a glass, both of them chugging it before starting their night over.
"You changed everything for me this summer, you literally saved my life. I don't want to go backward, I don't want to start over and I don't want to live a life parallel to yours anymore." Lacey confessed.
"Me neither."
"I don't want stuff and I don't care how much money you have or don't have, I fell in love with you."
"I was worried you would find someone else at school—"
"I went out a couple times. Nothing happened though, they weren't dates."
Jo told him that already but he still hated hearing it come out of her mouth. Lacey watched Danny's face fall a bit and waited for whatever he was about to unload.
"I went out too. Someone I work with invited me to a party. We kissed, I kissed her back." Danny was terrified this would be a deal breaker and braced for her reaction.
Lacey hated hearing that too, further solidifying the way she really felt about them starting this up again. He was hers.
"Are there feelings there?"
"For my coworker? No."
"Did you have sex with her?"
"No, no I haven't been with anyone else."
"Except for kissing—" Lacey grumbled.
Danny watched her process all of her feelings about it before adding again, "I didn't sleep with her."
"What about Whitney?"
"Lace, I'm living with her and her girlfriend. They're definitely not into me." Danny smiled.
Lacey smiled back softly, Danny's sweet face too much for the tinge of jealousy she had in her heart.
"What about you?" Danny asked carefully, both of them flooded with the warmth of their third glass of wine, "Are you into me?"
"A little cocky aren't we?"
"It's confidence, there's a difference." Danny waited, "What's your answer?"
Lacey shook her head yes.
Danny stepped up closer, his face hovering in front of hers. The glow from the candles danced off of her skin and made her shimmer. She was dazzling, her brown eyes reflecting the gold twinkle around them.
"It's been you, Lace. You're the one I want."
Lacey stared back at him, the same candlelight highlighting the vulnerability on Danny's face and most of all, his undying love and loyalty for her.
"It's going to be hard. We're doing different things, living in different places—but I want you too." Lacey admitted.
Danny leaned in to kiss her, hesitating after his first attempt seemed to catch her off guard. When Lacey didn't back away he tried again, this time her hands rose to hold the sides of Danny's face. The second kiss was sweet, light.
At the end of their second attempt Danny sighed heavily in relief and mirrored Lacey's hands, holding her face lovingly. Lacey turned her head and slid in to hug him, moving her arms around his waist and pulling him in tight. He smelled so good.
Lacey pulled back first and leaned in to kiss him this time, this third attempt more passionate, wanting. Danny accepted happily, his whole body warm and ready for however far they agreed to go.
Lacey stopped just long enough to slide herself up onto the platform, the perfect height for Danny to nestle in between her legs comfortably and resume kissing. He lifted his arm up to push her hair away from her face and that's when she saw it, she grabbed his arm.
"Oh my god, what did you do?!" Lacey smiled at the small maple leaf on his wrist and looked up at Danny excitedly.
"I'll never forget this place. I never want to."
"I got a tattoo too."
"You did?"
"Mmhmm."
"Show me—"
"You'll have to find it." Lacey bit her lip and pulled Danny back in for a kiss.
"Yeah?" Danny confirmed in between her short pecks.
Lacey nodded and held her hands up. Danny took the hint and pulled her shirt up and over her head. His eyes dropped all over her gorgeous skin, not seeing any tattoos.
Danny hopped up onto the platform and sat down behind her, circling his legs around her and cradling her from behind. He pushed her hair to the side and got his lips on her neck, soaking in the bare, un-tattooed skin of her back and shoulders.
"Where is it?" He asked playfully.
Lacey giggled and hugged Danny's strong arms that were wrapped around her belly. Danny unhooked Lacey's bra and gently pulled it off of her.
From behind, Danny's hands moved up and caressed her breasts, her nipples magically twisting into hardened peaks. His hips involuntarily pulsed forward, reacting to being allowed to touch Lacey's beautiful body again.
"You're perfect." Danny sucked her neck and gifted tiny bites along her shoulder, "Show me the tattoo." He demanded huskily into her ear, his voice sending a huge zap between her legs.
Lacey turned around to face Danny and crawled up to kneel in between his outstretched legs. Danny leaned backward slightly on his arms while he watched her unbutton her pants and try to pull them off.
Lacey stood up and danced out of her pants, revealing a black lacy thong. She bent over in Danny's face as she wrangled the pants off her ankles. Danny kept his hands off of her and just watched. She straightened up, standing in just her thong and waited while Danny surveyed her. No tattoo.
"Babe—" Danny couldn't take it, he needed to know.
Lacey smiled and walked right up in front of him, her hips just above his eye level. He looked up at her with his huge brown eyes and gently grabbed the sides of her thong, pulling them down when he was met with no objections.
There it was. Low on her hip, circling the small birthmark that he was so fond of, was a tiny matching maple leaf tattoo. It was so similar to his that it was as if they had planned it.
"Damn." Danny groaned, planting a kiss on the tattoo.
He was in love. They were on the same page and although they had entirely separate lives right now, they belonged to each other. Danny wanted to spend the rest of his time on earth doing life with her.
Lacey kicked off her thong and Danny happily buried his face into the apex of her thighs without any further ceremony. His sudden eagerness surprised Lacey and made her head roll back. She never had anyone please her the way Danny did. It was always good and had always evolved naturally between them.
"Danny—" Lacey gabbed ahold of his hair and encouraged the scavenger hunt he was on with his tongue.
Danny kept on task, struggling with the angle. He laid back and tapped the backs of Lacey's calves, encouraging her to walk up and have a seat on his face. She didn't hesitate, thankful to be closer to the ground for when Danny sucked her soul out the way he always did.
Shortly after sitting down Lacey began grinding gently, a sign Danny knew well.
"I'm—" Lacey whined, "Shit—" Lacey came, the string of expletives that followed came from deep within her chest.
She crawled backward slowly, her legs a bit jellied as she worked to get her bearings back. She kissed him, reaching way down and working to free Danny's junk.
She could smell herself, taste it on his tongue. She needed him. Now.
"You better get these off—" Lacey hissed, aching and frustrated.
Danny immediately did as told and shimmied his pants and boxers off. He yanked his shirt up and over his head and stuffed all of his clothes behind him, propping his upper body up a bit so he could watch her better.
Lacey melted down Danny's body until she got her mouth around his dick and worked him with her usual enthusiasm. Danny bent his legs and dropped his knees to the side, watching Lacey please him like it was her favorite thing. He could feel her love, her body heat radiating off of her.
"I need you." Danny pulled his dick away from her mouth, "Please—"
He reached down and pulled her up his body enough to get his hands around the slope of her ass. His goal was to guide her core to sit directly on his cock.
"You want it?" Lacey asked as she reached behind her, sliding her hands on top of his and encouraging Danny to continue moving her into whatever position he wanted.
"I need it—I need you." Danny grabbed both sides of her ass, scooting her up to straddle his waist, "Please." He begged her, his voice dripping with the lust he was drowning in.
He locked eyes with her as she reached down stood his cock up. Lacey opened her knees and slid him inside of her, both of them watching their union as she bounced herself down slowly to stretch herself around him.
"Lacey—" She always felt the same to him, hot, wet, like obscene velvet.
Lacey leaned her arms back, her hands holding onto Danny's thighs as she began a rhythm. Danny loved when she did that, his eyes dropped down and watched her whole body work him out.
He eventually reached his hand out and laid it on her lower belly, his thumb massaging her clit firmly.
"Remind me to always have candles ready." Danny gushed about his girlfriend's gorgeous, golden brown skin glowing above him.
Lacey switched it up, leaning forward and moving much faster, the way she knew her man liked it, "We're going to need a lot of candles then."
Danny's eyes rolled as he grunted his approval of her new energy. Lacey loved getting reacquainted with all that they had been missing the last month. They had a dry spell like this once before, but not one that had seemed so lonely and hopeless. They both needed this.
"Wait, wait—" Lacey panted and stopped their current situation.
Danny's body missed her warmth the second she hopped off. He gripped himself in an effort to preserve his erection as the cool air hit his slicked up groin. Lacey slid down from the platform and pulled Danny down too.
"What are we doing?" Danny wondered, desperate to get back inside of her.
Lacey stood next to the trunk of their favorite maple tree and leaned herself forward over the platform, her ass morphing into a perfect heart shape, almost begging for him to enter her from behind.
The platform was at the perfect height for this, a position they didn't normally do as Danny often felt too detached from her. If this was what she wanted, he would find another way to keep their connection his top priority.
Danny ran his hands along Lacey's back as she lie there, progressing down her arms and locking their fingers together. He leaned over her as he slid himself back inside, his face reaching her neck, his lips latching on there.
"Wow." Danny liked this, slowly drawing his hips back and snapping them forward again.
His force was something Lacey welcomed this time, her voice deep and low as she encouraged him to continue in the way that only she could. Lacey loved the sound of his breathing and his approving moans.
Something about his hips repeatedly slamming hers into the cold, unforgiving rock made her drunk with lust for him. Lacey squeezed Danny's hands in her own and arched her back more dramatically, trying to get his body to slap against her clit somehow from behind.
Danny released one of her hands and squirmed his fingers around her leg, wedging them against her clit as he continued to pound into her.
"I'm not gonna make it—" Danny said, sad this would end sooner than he planned.
Danny pressed harder against Lacey's clit and released her other hand to grab ahold of her hip. This simple change in Danny's dominance over her did it and Danny felt Lacey come undone beneath him.
"Oh my god—" She kept pushing herself backward against him harder and harder, her soft grunts and whines growing silent for the second time tonight.
Danny arrived at the same place and came with her this time.
"Lacey, Lacey—" He bowed over her as his body lurched erratically, coming deep and thankful for every moment she allowed him to make love to her.
"I missed you—" Lacey huffed, definitely talking to his dick.
He kissed her anywhere he could, releasing her hip and moving his hands up to rub her back tenderly. Lacey stood and Danny wrapped his arms around her front, holding her solidly against his chest and dancing them slowly from side to side. A perfect fit.
"I love you." Danny whispered gently somewhere against the back of her head.
Lacey was quiet.
Danny worried after he released a now very quiet Lacey and they began pulling themselves back together.
"You okay?"
"Yeah, I'm—I'm awesome, actually." Lacey smiled, "Thank you for loving me the way you do. I feel—I don't know, safe with you. Safe to be strong, safe to be soft. You're a gift."
Danny smiled and zipped up his pants, finding his wine glass and taking a healthy sip, "I should have brought other drinks. I'm about to be piss drunk." He laughed.
"So what's the plan now?" Lacey wondered vaguely, now redressed and holding her glass up for her own guzzle.
They settled in beside each other on the platform, their feet swinging in the same direction.
"First, we're going to get through this week." Danny said as fact.
"After?"
"After, I'm going to take a serious look at my life. I want to start college, try to get in for winter or spring. If I can't then I need to get a second job and just bank some serious cash."
"Which college?"
He could hear it in her voice, she was skeptical. Danny looked over at her, locking eyes with his incredible girlfriend as she worried about people coming between them.
Lacey stared back at him, defeated. He was so damn fine, she felt like there was nothing she could do.
"Hey, Lace—"
"I can't help it."
"There's always going to be other people, but we want each other right?"
"I don't want to share you."
"You never have to. C'mon you already know my roommates—"
"I also know your coworkers."
"The kiss I had, that won't happen now that we're back. I'm for you. It's you." Danny shoulder-checked her and bounced her away from him for a moment.
"Okay." Lacey took the leap of faith and just had to trust he'd behave if she wanted to try this.
"Trust me?"
"Yep." Lacey answered honestly and finished her wine, she had never caught him in a lie and as far as she knew he had always told her everything.
"Maybe we can visit each other on the weekends?" Danny suggested.
"You're working."
"Not the whole day—"
Lacey set the glass down and folded her legs up, "Can I ask you something?"
"Of course."
"Have you ever thought about just moving here?"
"No—" Danny burst out laughing at the hilariousness of how that sounded at first, his brain focusing on all of the bad he had just been through for months and not really thinking about it.
He watched Lacey's shoulders fall.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make it sound like it was the worst thing—"
"Green Grove is fun, I mean, it was. It's home."
"I'm just, I don't know—" Danny hesitated big time.
"I'm going to be in school here for at least a couple of years."
Lacey seemed to get lost in thought. What if she didn't want to commute and deal with all of that long distance shit? Was it fair to just string them along part time with a full time mentality like this? Danny tried to change the focus.
"What about the city? Would you ever move there?"
"And commute to school every day?"
"Maybe live here Monday through Friday and come live with me in the city Friday through Sunday?"
"On your air mattress by the bathroom?" Lacey always had a way of making a point.
"I'm sorry, why are we even doing this?" Danny was frustrated.
He stood up and began packing up, trying to keep himself busy so his mind had a second to think.
Lacey watched Danny blow out all of the candles. He unceremoniously tugged the blanket out from beneath her and folded it up. He neatly packed the glasses away and used the bag filled with the gifts as a place to stuff all of their trash. Once he was done he gathered up everything and turned to face her.
"Ready?"
"Danny, I didn't mean to upset you—"
"I'm not upset—" Danny squinted at her in confusion as they began walking back toward the Mastersons.
"Well you just broke this off again—"
"What?! I did not such thing—"
"You made it sound like you were done again—"
"No, I'm just not going to put any energy into mapping out how and when we'll get to see each other. If we want this then we'll make it work." Danny declared.
"So you do want this."
"Hell yes I want this. You want this too?"
"Yes."
"Okay then, that's it." Danny beamed and they continued on in silence for a while.
As they passed their old campsite they both remembered the good times: Danny making dinner for Lacey and her family when he was trying to find a way to fit into her life and get to know her better. Making love in the tent the morning after they both almost drowned. Becoming one while stark naked in the open field under stars the following night. Danny watching Lacey from the roof while she chose him over Charlie when Charlie was first released on probation, all of it.
Danny had this nagging question in the back of his mind. A question from the beginning of the summer that he never pushed. As he continued to run through all of their happy memories the question became a bit of a worry for him and he decided he needed to know the answer now.
"I have a question."
"You know you can just ask me anything. You don't need to announce it or whatever—"
"This one needed an announcement I think."
"Oh damn. What's up?"
"We've had sex what, like forty times now maybe?"
"That's the question?"
"Not all of it—" Danny nudged her playfully as they walked.
"Okay, okay, yeah it's been at least forty times." Lacey confirmed proudly.
Danny stopped them and set the picnic supplies down. He pulled her into his arms, the dark sky filled with stars above made him feel so tiny and insignificant. He held onto her tightly, Lacey acting like an anchor, keeping him from becoming lost in the vastness of their current setting.
"Hey." Lacey hugged him back just as tight, "Talk to me."
Their faces were close, just enough moonlight to make out each other's features.
"How—" Danny began softly, pausing because he didn't want to open old wounds for her.
Lacey could sense his inner struggle and squeezed him a little, smiling warmly.
"How have I not gotten you pregnant yet?"
Lacey hated this part. They were definitely at a place where it made sense to talk about it, but she still hated it. The story, the reason, the subsequent pity almost everyone always felt the need to give her once they knew. Still, she trusted Danny most and he should know.
"I can't have kids."
"You mentioned that, but I think you actually said you might be able to but it would be very difficult—?"
"I don't ovulate. The 'me' half needed in the baby making equation is missing so, it won't happen the way we've been practicing." Lacey smiled brighter.
Danny was relieved she seemed open to talking about it.
"What happens if you ever want kids?"
"I'd have to look into having my eggs taken out and fertilized and then put back inside."
Danny was vaguely aware of that process existing.
"It will be a lot to go through and comes with a high rate of failure. I'd have to be really sure I wanted a child and then I'd just need a bazillion dollars to get it done. Simple." Lacey giggled.
"Have you thought about having kids?" Danny wondered.
"Once you know you can't have them, you tend to think about it a lot."
Danny's previous questions highlighted for him just how layered this issue was so he decided to be more specific.
"Do you want kids someday?"
"This world is such a dump, Danny. Right now I'm definitely not on team kids, but I'm also eighteen so I'm in no way going to close that door at this point."
Lacey watched Danny absorb her answer and then look up at the sky again and away from her.
"Hey." She tugged on the front of his shirt, "What about you?"
"I don't know. I would want more than one if I do. I think it's just hard for me to imagine because my parents are very selfish people who always told me that I was not planned and never wanted. Growing up as an only child was lonely enough, but having your only family make you feel unloved definitely skewed things for me."
"You're not alone now."
"I know." Danny smiled at her, "It feels amazing and that's why maybe it wouldn't be the worst thing to have my own children someday—like, ten or fifteen years from now."
Danny felt a huge sense of relief knowing more about Lacey's reproductive situation, realizing it had weighed heavier in the back of his mind than he knew.
"It's nice not to have any pregnancy scares—" He added honestly.
That was an odd thing to say. Lacey looked up at him again.
"Have you—had pregnancy scares before?"
"Yep."
Lacey knew that meant it had to be with Whitney.
"How many times?"
"Three."
Lacey tried to image the fear a younger teenage Danny would have knowing that if a child was on the way he'd have no support from his family.
"What happened?"
"The first time was after we first had sex, we just blew up the thought in our minds knowing that pregnancy was one of the outcomes that could happen. She wasn't late yet or anything, but we started mapping out pregnancy symptoms that she didn't really have. It happened two months in a row before we realized that the condoms were pretty reliable." Danny smiled awkwardly.
"What about the third time?"
Danny took a few moments before he responded.
"It was last year, a month after we broke up. Whitney was late, two weeks."
Danny sat down, never thinking he'd ever share this story with anyone, but now that he was he needed to sit. Lacey sat too, she took his hands into hers and just waited for him to begin again.
"We went to the doctor and she was pregnant, six weeks. I had a total anxiety attack and wasn't there for her at all the first few days after we found out. But then I started to get excited and we were going to tell our parents after the next doctors visit. When we went in for the appointment we were so excited because it was the first ultrasound and when they brought it up on the screen the lady just stopped smiling and didn't say anything after that. The doctor came in and just explained that the baby had stopped growing and was not alive."
Danny was even, calm. He didn't attach a lot of emotion to his words but Lacey could tell he felt a lot of things about the story he told.
"Wow, that's—did your parents know?"
"We went through a lot after that because Whitney ended up needing surgery so her parents had to know because we were under eighteen. Her parents told her she lost her baby as a punishment from god for having sex before marriage. They told my parents about everything and Whitney and I were just stuck in between parents that were way too involved and parents that didn't care at all."
Danny released Lacey's hands and rubbed his face as if he was trying to close the past and reconnect with her here in his present.
"We were just so young, you know? Too young. Doing grown up shit we had no business doing. I'm at peace with the whole thing now though, there's nothing either of us could have done to save the baby or make our parents not be assholes."
"I'm surprised that you don't use protection all the time after all that." Lacey admitted.
"Right after, I told myself I wasn't going to have sex ever again actually—but that's not realistic for me." Danny giggled, "I feel like you and I connected about that right away and while the exact reason has been something on my mind since you told me you couldn't have kids, I trusted what you said—and…." Danny stalled a little.
"And?"
Danny shrugged, "And, maybe I didn't think it would be the worst thing to have children with you." He admitted quietly, looking over at her curiously.
Lacey smiled back at him, "It wouldn't be, but I think the whole 'ten to fifteen years from now' thing would be better."
"Deal." Danny said as if he was certain they'd still be together.
Lacey stood and pulled Danny to his feet, the two of them scooping up the picnic stuff and beginning to walk back toward the house again.
"You sure you're okay living with Whitney after all that? It's not triggering?"
"Whitney and I are more than just friends, you know? I don't think of her as a girlfriend or like a sister like Jo, but she's more than just my ex. I don't have family so I guess Whit and Jo are my family." Danny rationalized, "And you. You're family too."
They made it to Lacey's car and they set all of the picnic stuff down again so they could hug each other goodbye properly. Danny hung on so tight.
"I love you." Danny said into the hair at the base of her neck.
"I love you." Lacey responded the same way.
"No more taking breaks, Lacey. I'm all in for as long as you'll have me." Danny said, feeling more confident with his face buried.
"K." Lacey chuckled back at him.
Danny pulled away first and bent down to pick up the stuff again.
"I'll see you tomorrow?" Danny asked, dreading the court dates they had to endure this week.
"I'll be there." Lacey opened her car door and slid inside.
She pulled out the plant bouquet that was tucked under Danny's arm. She took another look at the rest of the picnic stuff and pointed to the gift bag dangling from Danny's right pinkie finger.
"I can toss that for you, want me to toss it? I'll toss it for you—" Lacey reached out for it.
Danny laughed, "It's all filled with trash now—" He pouted and leaned closer so she could reach it.
"Yeah, so I can toss it, it's fine." Lacey smirked at him.
"You do deserve the world Lacey, but I'll do better. I promise." He pledged, understanding now that she didn't want gifts like this going forward.
"The picnic was nice, thank you. You're the sweetest."
"Good night, Lace."
"'Night."