Title: The Love of the Bullied 24/25 + Epilogue
Author: Forsaken2003
Pairing: S/X
Rating: R
Disclaimer: I own none, all belong to Joss Whedon
Comments: Always welcomed!
Summary: Life sucks for Xander but when Spike moves to Sunnydale will things get better or worse?
Warnings/Spoilers: None
Beta'd by: Unbeta'd
Note: I feel like this story is possibly over dramatic. Not what I really write but it just kind of went that direction.
Part Twenty-Four
Spike never told his parents what happened no matter how much Xander tried to convince him. He was eighteen years old, technically an adult, he couldn't have his parents fighting his battles for him. Xander let Spike have his way, it was his decision. Spike did hold onto Xander like a life line the rest of the night, making it hard for Xander to make supper. In the end he just made a spread of cheese, meats, veggies and crackers.
While almost drowning had been horrible Spike was happy because it gave him an excuse to be able to talk to Xander a little in school without it being suspicious. Mostly 'morning' but it was more than before. Now only if he could touch Xander, he would be completely satisfied with the world.
A few weeks later when Spike got to the lunch room he saw Xander was already at his table. Spike grabbed his tray of food but before going to his standard table he made his way to Xander's. "Hey."
Xander was watching a video on his phone and didn't notice Spike until he spoke. He jumped and almost dropped his phone. "What?"
Spike raised an eyebrow. Xander could be completely oblivious to things around him when he was watching *Vanoss Gaming* videos. "I wanted to ask you to sit with me... us for lunch."
"No, thank you," Xander replied not even thinking about it. He went back to his video.
How was Xander going to say no? This was their chance to hang out without anyone thinking it was weird. "Come on. One lunch together. It won't kill you." Come on, Xan, you can do this! We can do this.
"I appreciate the offer but I'd rather have lunch by myself." The look Xander gave Spike was easy to read. Back off.
Cordelia came over with her own tray. "Spike, leave him alone. If he doesn't want to eat with us he doesn't have to."
Opening his mouth to argue Spike was stopped when Cordelia kicked him with her new Louboutins. "Let's go. If he wants to sit with us he knows where we are." She loved Spike but Jesus Christ now wasn't the time for Spike to stand his ground. "You two can talk about this later," she said in a hushed tone. They could have this argument at home not in front of a bunch of nosy people.
Cordelia was right. From the look on Xander's face a fight was going to happen when they got home and it was going to be a big one. Maybe that was just what they needed though. Xander needed to know that Spike wanted to go to prom with him. That he wanted everyone to know they were together once and for all. No more of this crap. "Right," Spike's voice was clipped, clearly unhappy. "You know where I'll be."
When they walked away Xander was still watching Spike. Was Spike purposely trying to piss him off and start a fight? They'd never had a real fight but it felt like one was about to happen and he didn't like it. It gave him anxiety. His parents fought all the time. He didn't want to be like them. The thought made him feel sick. Xander wished he had to work tonight just so he could avoid it a little bit longer.
By the time they both got to the apartment they were both furious.
"Why do you keep doing that to me, Spike? All it does is piss me off and it's like that's what you're trying to do," Xander somehow managed to keep his voice down. He wasn't sure if he would be able to do that for much longer though.
"I'm not trying to piss you off. I'm trying to get it through your thick skull that we can come out! We don't have to hide anymore. I've been saying this for months. I want the school to know and you keep blowing it off. Don't you remember when you were hurt when I wanted to keep our friendship a secret? Why are you so bloody against it now?"
How could Xander tell Spike he was afraid? Afraid that if they came out that Spike would suddenly realize them being together was a mistake? The thought was stupid especially since they were already planning their life together outside of Sunnydale but that didn't stop the fear that crept into Xander's chest. "I just am. It's how I feel and you should be understanding and supportive."
"Understanding and supportive? I've been nothing but understanding and supportive! The one not being either of those things are is you! Do you know I have this big prom-posal planned? Mum was even helping me but kibosh-ed it any prom plans without even asking me what I want." Spike was absolutely flabbergasted at Xander's accusations.
"No one is stopping you from going to prom," Xander yelled. "Go alone or with someone else. Hell Harmony would jump at the chance to go with you. Problem solved. Go pick out an expensive tux and have fun."
Spike felt like ripping his hair out. "I don't want to go with anyone else! I want to go with you, you idiot! I want us to pick out each other's tuxes, rent a limo, go to a fancy restaurant before making our arrival at prom leaving everyone speechless. To have all those idiots realize what they've been over looking all these years. That finally someone see you. All of you. The amazing, funny, beautiful person you have always been."
What Spike said was sweet, but Xander didn't care about prom. He didn't even care about graduation. It was all too overwhelming. "I'm not going so back off!" He grabbed his backpack and headed for the door.
"Where are you going?" Spike asked in a panic. Was Xander breaking up with him?
"I need to think and I can't do that here. I'm going to stay at my parents tonight."
Was Xander crazy? "Have you lost your bloody mind?!"
"Probably," Xander said before walking out.
Spike had no idea what he was supposed to do. He couldn't just drag Xander back into the apartment and force him to stay. He sunk to his knees. What the hell just happened?
When Xander walked into his parents house his father was already home, sitting on his chair with a beer in hand watching some game.
"Well, well, well... look what the cat dragged in," Anthony said putting the can down. "What are you doing here, boy?"
"I need to stay here... just for the night. I'll stay in my room you know even know I'm here."
Anthony stood up. "Does this look like a hotel? You think you can disappear for months and you think you can come back here and you'll be welcomed back with open arms?"
Xander didn't think for a second he would be welcomed back at all which is why he stopped at an ATM before coming. He pulled out a fifty dollar bill from his pocket and held it up.
Anthony's eyes lit up and snatched it out of Xander's hand. "This only covers the room. You want food it's extra."
"I don't need food." Xander had zero appetite.
Upset that there was no more money coming his way Anthony pointed towards the stairs. "Than get the fuck out of my face."
"Thanks, dad." Xander made sure it didn't sound sarcastic. The last thing he needed was getting smacked around. It had been so long he he didn't know if he'd be able to take a beating.
When he got up to his room and began pulling out his homework his attention went to the watch on his wrist. He sighed. He and Spike were moving to L.A in a short few months. If he was having doubts about Spike's feelings here what was going to happen in L.A?
"You are an idiot, Harris," Xander said to himself. "You know Spike loves you. The school finding out isn't going to change that, So stop being a fucking bitch and just apologize to Spike." He picked up his phone and opened his text messages. His thumbs dangled over the screen. Xander ended up turning the phone off. "Tomorrow. I'll do it tomorrow." God he was such a coward.
After he finished up his homework Xander climbed under the musty covers and hid from the world for the rest of the night.
When Xander got up the next morning he changed into clothes he had left there. He went downstairs, his dad already gone and his mother nowhere in sight. Since he was alone no one would mind if he helped himself to some food. Xander made himself a ham and cheese sandwich for lunch and grabbed an orange soda from the fridge.
Just as he was about to leave he saw the cookie jar filled with cookies. It never had cookies in it when he lived there! If he was going to face Spike he was going to need chocolate-y goodness for lunch and what what better than chocolate chip cookies? Xander grabbed another sandwich bag and took the lid off the cookie jar. There were tongs on top of the cookies so he used them to drop the cookies into the bag. There were so many many chocolate chips! Closing the bag he threw his lunch into his backpack and left to face the day.
Xander never noticed the peanut butter on the counter.