Hello Friends! So here is the chapter. So I started making it, had a breakdown. Bon appetit!

Warnings at end of chapter.

Set list:
Resentment, Kesha

The Rock, New World

As I stared him down across the square he had the audacity to wave at me and call out my name. I crossed my arms tightly over my chest and took a deep breath to brace myself as he started to run towards me.

Do not let this boy get to you Ariadne. You know better now. You are stronger now.

"Ari! Air! Hey!" Ace shouted as he ran towards me, still waving his arms spastically.

I felt my eyes narrowed into a glare and bit my tongue to keep myself from giving in.

"Hey he- um." Ace trailed off as he slowed to a stop a few steps in front of me. "Uh. Hi."

I blinked and quirked an eyebrow before saying. "Hello. Is there something you need?"

Walk away. Walk away right now before this gets messy.

Ace's brow creased as he blinked in confusion. "I- need? I guess not. I just- Air, I haven't seen you in over 7 months! I had no idea what happened to you, I-"

How dare he.

I felt my rage flare even hotter as I spat, "Oh please, spare me . Do not attempt to act like you had even the slightest bit of concern for me. We both know that's a lie, Captain ."

You never cared about me.

He took a step back and an almost wounded look crossed his face before he shouted, "Of course I was worried about you! You just disappeared! You didn't say a word to anyone, you just jumped ship in the middle of the New World! Why the hell wouldn't I be worried?"

"No no no, don't you dare put that on me! I did not 'just disappear' you forced me to leave. You threw me away !"

"No I didn't!" He shouted before raising a hand to pinch the bridge of his nose. Then he took a deep breath and said, "Look, I know I said some pretty mean things when we talked last and I'm sorry alright?"

Something inside me snapped as I listened to him. My mouth was filled with a dry bitter taste and I slowly stepped forward as I said, "You're sorry ? What exactly are you sorry for Captain Ace?"

"I-" He started before I took another step forward.

I raised my hand and clenched it into a tight fist. I felt blood flowed down my wrist as my nails cut into my palm. I glared into his heartless, grey eyes as I said, "Are you sorry for kicking me off the crew? For throwing every single vulnerable thing I ever shared with you in my face? For breaking my heart? Or maybe you're just sorry for betraying me in general. But regardless, don't you dare stand there and act like you actually care about anything that happens to me."

Ace shook his head and said, "Hey now hold on I'm not the only one who-"

"Who what? Tried to protect YOUR crew? For keeping you from getting yourself killed?"

"Pops wouldn't have killed me and you know that! That's the real reason you didn't want us to challenge him! You knew we would join his crew and you were to fucking petty to come with us!"

"Oh Pops is it? It's fine if you want to fall for that senile old fart's lies, but do not call me petty for not following you to that hell hole. You have no idea what it was like for me on that ship, Ace. I was trapped there for 4 years, you have no idea what that was like for me. But then again, I don't know why I'm surprised. The only thing you're ever cared about more than yourself was getting 'daddy's' approval."

You are a sad pathetic man Ace.

i hate you

Ace's face twisted into a furious glare and he raised his shaking fist to point at me as he said, "Do not bring him up, Ariadne. And don't you dare talk about my father that way. He saved my life but even if he didn't, do you really think you're in a position to judge people for the crews they join? Does Red Hair know just how selfish you actually are?"

I shook my head and gave a short wet laugh as I said, "You don't have even the slightest idea of what you're talking about."

I earned my place on my crew. They knew everything about me and still choose me. I deserve my place with them.

How dare he question that.

"Don't I? I thought our crew would be different. That you wouldn't live up to your reputation of being a traitorous bitch, so I really don't know why I'm surprised now." He said as he took a step back and raised his arms in a dramatic shrug.

I snapped at that and said, "You have no right to call me a traitor after what you did."

"What did I do? I'm not the one who betrayed our crew."

"Aren't you? A captain is supposed to protect his crew. You forced them to hunt down Whitebeard when they barely made it through Paradise! Don't even try and deny the fact that I carried our crew all the way through the Grand Line!" I shouted back.

"Are you seriously trying to throw your 'experience' at me and make it sound like you were the only one with skills on that ship? Hell maybe that's the real reason you can't stay put on a crew, you like being an insufferable know-it-all who constantly looks down on people."

"You don't know what you're talking about."

I hate you.

"Don't I? Maybe you forgot Little Miss Perfect but I was on that ship too. I watched you too. You never once made an attempt to talk to the crew, to get to know them. All you did was perch yourself up on your high horse and bark orders at us."

"Well at least I kept us alive! If it hadn't been for me then you would have never made it off of Sixis! Let alone through Paradise!" I screamed as loud as my lungs could manage.

I hate you.

We both stood there breathing heavily as we tried to figure out where to go from there. After a minute I shook my head and said, "I can't do this. I can't deal with you right now." Then I turned to walk away.

But it was only after I took two steps Ace called out, "I thought you said you loved me."

I paused and slowly turned to look over my shoulder. I looked back to see him standing there with his hands casually shoved in his pockets, as if he was waiting for me to answer some mundane question. I was stunned by his audacity that all I could manage to say was, "Excuse me?"

"After Sabaody you said you loved me. Or was that just another lie?" He asked with an equally casual shrug.

"Love? You want to talk about love? Do you have even the slightest idea of what I gave up for you because I loved you? I sacrificed everything for you. Because I loved you. I was willing to erase everything about myself. Because I loved you . So if my life wasn't enough for you then maybe you should take a closer look at what you are demanding of those around you."

I hate you.

"If you really loved me then you wouldn't have left."

"You didn't give me a choice."

"Right." He said with a sarcastic smirk that I could see was tainted by his own anger and bitterness. "Because you're just little miss perfect. You never did a single thing wrong. All you do is sacrifice for others to the point that you force them to stay with you out of some fucked up confusion of guilt for love. If you don't want me to act like I care about you, which I do by the way, then you don't get to act like you didn't fuck up just as much as me."

"Yes, I made mistakes. I acknowledge that, but at least I didn't take every single painful secret you ever told me and use them as knives to carve out your heart."

"Oh for fuck sakes, don't get all 'artistic', please . I can't-"

"Ok you know what. This conversation is over." I said before turning on my heel and once again walking away.

I hate you Ace.

But once again Ace had to get in the last word by shouting, "Go ahead and run princess apparently that's how you handle all your problems."

"I am not running!" I screamed as I whipped around to stare at Ace with nothing but rage in my heart. "I am leaving so that I do not kill you where you stand! We have nothing left to discuss Gol D. Ace. Sorry, that's an insult to Roger now isn't it? Congratulations Ace, you're nothing like your father. You are a thousand times worse. So stay the fuck away from me."

Ace let out a wordless shout as he lit his arm on fire and pulled it back, ready to attack me. Before he could shout 'Fire Fist' however I fell forward into a sprint and coated my own arm in Armament Haki. I skidded along the ground as a column of fire shot over my head a second before my own fist connected with Ace's stomach, sending him flying across the town square and crashing into an already destroyed building.

I quickly stood at my full height and forced even more haki into my arms as Ace jumped out of the rubble and charged at me with his own fists drawn. We lunged at each other at the exact same moment and as our fists collided the ground beneath us shattered. We were both thrown away from each other by the shock wave and landed on opposite sides of the square. As I kneeled on the ground I took a second to breath and look around the destruction around us. Most of the people who had been in the square had fled once Ace and I started arguing but those that hadn't were now strewn about the ground.

I stood and slowly started to walk towards where he was also recovering from the blast. "You sure you want to do this, Gol? You've never been able to beat me in a fight and I've only gotten stronger since we last fought."

"Don't call me that." He said before spreading his hands out in front of him and releasing bright green balls from them.

I swatted one away from my face and said, "Don't mock me."

But as I lunged forward to throw another punch the orbs suddenly exploded into a fiery inferno. As I quickly created as much water to surround me as possible I heard Ace shout at me.

"Don't forget that I watched you too Ariadne! I know your weaknesses just as well as you do mine."

"Well well look at you acting like this will be a real fight." I said with a sneer before creating eight tentacles of water at my back. I brought them forward and coated them in Armament Haki. "Kraken."

At the same time Ace gathered the flames spreading around the square and started to condense them into a ball over his head.

But before our attacks could connect a wave of blue flames washed over the square. I jumped back as the massive blue flaming bird landed between us with Ace at his back.

"That's enough! Back off Siren!" Marco shouted as he turned his body back into his human form, leaving only his wings aflame.

I screamed at him wordlessly before shouting, "What? You want to try and take me on as well Phoenix? I'll kill you both!"

I lunged to throw a punch at the glaring bird but before it could connect an arm caught my waist and tugged me back, "Calm down Addie! Boss said not to pick any fights!"

"He also said not to take any shit!" I shouted back at Andre as he heaved me back from them.

"You need to keep a shorter leash on your newest crewmate." Marco said as he watched my struggle against Andre's hold.

Andre twisted me in his hold so that I was nearly behind him before he said, "And you need to mind your own business Marco! Or better yet, just leave. This is our island and you are not welcome."

I heard Marco laugh and say, "You're island? No. I'm here to claim this island in the name of the Whitebeard pirates."

"Afraid you're too late for that." A voice called out from across the square.

All 4 of us went silent, and I stopped struggling as Shanks walked into the square with the rest of the crew at his back.

"Addie." He said with a laugh in his voice. "Is it possible for you to go one port of call without getting into a fight?"

I shoved Andre off of me and harshly brushed myself off as I said, "It's not like I look for them. I can't help it that imbecilic assholes are attracted to me."

"Yeah, I guess not." He said to me before turning to Marco. "Hey, it's been a while. How you been?"

Marco turned his body fully human before rolling his eyes and saying, "Don't you start with me Red Hair. You know why I'm here."

"Yeah I do. But there isn't a point. This is my island now."

"You aren't an Emperor. We let you have Minnow because it's worthless but that's it. Why are you trying to take this place now?"

Shanks shrugged and said, "Thought I'd try my hand at ruling the sea. Looks like fun."

Marco paused and stared at Shanks for a minute before saying, "That's a dangerous game you're trying to play, Shanks. You sure about this?"

"I know exactly what I'm doing. This island is under my protection now and the only way you'll be taking it is by killing me." Shanks said before resting his hand on the hilt of his sword. "You wanna try it?"

All around us the crew adjusted their stances, ready for a fight. I also squared my shoulders but paused when Roux stepped in front of me. I stared at his wide back before taking a breath and feeling a small shred of anger leaving me.

Calm down Addie. Shanks will handle it. The rest of the crew is here now, you're fine.

Marco looked from our crew to his own group where they were standing on the edge of the square before saying, "I'll let you have this one Shanks. We don't need to fight today. But don't-"

That was when I felt Shanks' haki release and a powerful force came flashing down on the square. But instead of cowering, I raised my head proudly as I heard my Captain say, "I am going to become an Emperor of this sea. There is nothing you can do to stop us. But if you still want a fight then fine. We're right here."

The square was silent as the two men stared each other down. I couldn't see them from where I was standing but I could feel the force of Shanks' haki continue to increase until Marco finally said, "Watch your back, Red Hair."

"I don't need to." Shanks said without even a moment's hesitation. "I know exactly the kind of people I have on my ship. Can you say the same?"

Marco glared at us before finally turning and roughly pulling Ace to follow. But as we watched them walk away I felt Shanks place a heavy hand on my shoulder. I glanced at him and saw him still watching them leave.

"I'm fine." I said quietly.

He nodded slightly and said, "Come find me later."

After we made sure that all of the Whitebeard pirates who had come ashore with Ace and Marco were gone, the locals had thrown a party for us. Or rather, we supplied the majority of the food and alcohol but they joined us. I was slightly confused as to why the locals were so excited to have a crew of violent pirates take over ownership of their island, but I suppose they preferred the new devil to the one they knew. But after some lively drinking, story telling, and singing the sun set and the majority of the crew had wandered into town to find places to pass out. When I was offered to join them I smiled and said I would head back to the ship. Somewhat surprisingly, I managed to find the ship without incident and settled into the music room.

I sat at the piano playing a mindless melody as I let my mind drift. I had pushed down all the emotions brought up by seeing Ace again as we dealt with the villagers and then through the party. But here, in the quiet safety of my ship I let my mind rove over the tidal wave of emotions that was coming crashing down onto me.

I heard a knock on the door frame and looked up to see Shanks standing there in the dim light.

"It's later." He said as he walked in and sat down on the bench next to me.

"Yeah, I guess it is." I said with a humorless laugh.

"You want to talk about what happened today?"

"Not really."

"But..."

I rolled my eyes at how easy it had become for this man to read my every thought and said, "I wrote a song."

I took a deep breath and started to play the melody.

.

I know you better than you know yourself

And there's a part of you that you won't help

You say you can't do it, just do it, just do it for my sake

It's a shame knowing we could be good

That you could treat me better if you really wanted to

And if you can't do it for my sake, then do it for our sake

.

But I don't hate you, babe, it's worse than that

'Cause you hurt me and I'm more than sad

I've been building up this thing for months

Resentment

.

I quickly wiped a tear from my face as I finished the song. As I took a deep breath Shanks patted me softly on the back.

I sniffled as I said, "I didn't love him. And I hate that so fucking much but it's true. I wanted to love him, I wanted to be loved, but I didn't. I couldn't. I mean how could I love him when I was using him. I- I really was hiding behind him. B-because if I-"

"Get it out Addie."

"I-i-if I focused on him, if I could fix him then I didn't have to focus on me. On how much I hate myself. A-and how much it hurts everyday. It fucking hurts. I-I just want ONE person to love me, to not leave me, to not hurt me. B-but even Ace… And I-I hate him for that-"

I gasped as a sob tore through my chest. "No, I- I don't hate him, I resent him. I gave him everything. I gave him my time, my energy, my trust, my past, my dreams, my mind, my body, and he gave me nothing. He chose himself, and his hatred over me. But you want to know the really fucked up part? If it wasn't for this tiny, minuscule, pathetic, little shred of self worth that you and the rest of the crew helped me find, I would take him back. I would fall on my knees and beg for him to take everything from me again without a moment's hesitation. That's the power he has over me. I can command the very ocean, but I would throw that away just to have him hold me again. That , that is why I resent him. But I still fucking love him."

Shanks nodded slowly and my sobs were the only thing that broke the silence. He put his arm around me and waited until I could breath without gasping before saying, "Feelings come in all kinds of ways Addie. Not all of them are pretty little packages. Some of them are mean little bastards. But you can't be mad at them for coming, can't change them, can't deny them. Sometimes you just have to let them come and let them go."

"You think I don't know that?"

"And do you think I haven't ever been in the exact same place you're in?"

"What do you mean?"

Shanks paused and took a breath before saying, "I was raised on the Oro Jackson since I was an infant. They weren't just my crew, they were my family, my friends, my entire world . I legitimately didn't know any life outside of that ship, but then, they were gone. You think I don't have any complicated feelings about that?"

"But they didn't choose to leave you, not like Ace did, Roger was dying."

"The Captain didn't choose. But the rest of them did. We could have stuck together, could have figured something out. But instead they chose to go their separate ways. I know we had the Government after us and that losing the Captain was hard on everyone but… Some days it seems like they really didn't give a shit about me or Buggy. The Captain left and the rest of them just… disappeared. So yeah, it's hard not to feel a little bit of anger towards them for that."

"But you still care about them."

"Of course I do. I love those stupid bastards more than words can say. But that doesn't change the fact that I hate them for abandoning us like that. Or that after every single, fucking thought like that I drown myself in self hatred. Because it wasn't their fault to leave, so I shouldn't be mad. But I am. But like you said, it doesn't matter how much they hurt me. If I had a chance to get my family back I would take it. And that, is the really hard, fucked up part." Shanks said.

The instruments around the room started to rattle and the floorboards creaked as Shanks' haki started too flare. But he was quick to take a deep breath and settle his haki before he said, "Look, I'm just trying to say, I know what you're feeling right now and I know it sucks. I just want you to know you're not alone in that. Because once you believe you're alone, that's… that's when things get dark."

I traced my fingers over the thick scar on my left arm and said, "Yeah, I know. But no amount of complicated feelings makes up for the fact that I used him."

"You did what you thought you had to to survive. Don't you dare ever regret living Ariadne."

"But is my life seriously worth the lives of others? You know that I've had to kill countless civilians to-"

"Did I stutter? So long as you stay true to yourself and your own morals then I don't give a damn what you have to do to keep yourself alive."

His grip on my shoulders tightened, "You keep yourself alive you hear me? That's an order. You don't get a choice in the matter, you will live." His eyes softened and he pulled me into a crushing hug. "And don't you know by now just how loved you are?"

I held on just as tightly to him as sobs racked my chest.

"You're one of us now, Addie, and we don't leave people behind. No matter what happens to me or anyone else on the crew you stick together. You will always have a home and someone at your back."

I sniffled before nodding against his chest and saying, "Yes Captain."

Warnings:
General unhealthy coping mechanisms through out.
Light domestic violence but nothing worse than what is shown in canon One Piece.
Vague mentions of past attempted suicide

Nothing in this chapter is particularly intense I don't think but if any of these things may bother you then it may be best to skip this one. The rough summary is: Ace and Ariadne meet for the first time since their break up and they realize that they both have severe issues both personally and with each other. They scream at each other and then fight. After the fight Ariadne talks to Shanks and he talks about his own resentment towards the Roger pirates for how the crew ended.

Sooooooooo, what did you think? Any feedback would be great! I had a lot of fun and trouble figuring out how to show what these characters would realistically be feeling in these situations. In particular I love exploring Shanks' thoughts and feelings about the Roger pirates. For him being a baby on board, it is strongly hinted by Oda in an sbs that there were babies on board the Oro, which would only make sense for them to be Shanks and Buggy. But if you want more detailed exploration of this then I would suggest reading anything by the lovely Stereden. They are incredible and a far better story teller than I could ever hope to be. Their fics about Shanks and Buggy are a huge inspiration to me and are basically what I consider to be canon for the end of the Roger pirates until Oda says otherwise.

But yeah, that was that. Thanks for reading!