Bella, sprawled over a couch, looked up from her book to examine the three Queens who were dutifully chipping away at their mounds of paperwork.
Didyme caught her watching, and gave a warm smile. "More work than you were expecting?" she teased, eyes sparkling in a singularly Didyme way.
"Uh," Bella said, not quite expecting to be spoken to, "yeah, I mean. I guess I knew, kind of? But you must be really busy, like, all of the time."
Didyme laughed, sparkling, fizzy, dizzying, and Athenodora gave a spectacularly unladylike snort. "Some more than others," the icy-blonde cut in, as she turned a page and examined the new text.
"Uh," Bella said, a little uselessly. "That feels like a personal dig. To someone who isn't me."
Athenodora glanced up, and raised an eyebrow. "I'm not sure of what the exact definition of 'dig' is, in this context at least, but yes, I'm fairly sure it is. To two, in fact."
Sulpicia gasped, dramatic and magnetic, and practically threw her paperwork back onto the desk she was working on. "I don't know what I do to deserve this behaviour, actually. It is frightfully unkind."
"Is it?" Athenodora asked blandly.
Sulpicia rose from her seat, and managed to walk both enticingly and full of sulk over to Athenodora. "My love," she said, sitting on the edge of the desk by Athenodora's side, casually leaning over until she was blocking Dora's view of the document.
Bella let out a little giggle, which really only encouraged Sulpicia. The vampire grinned, and sprawled herself over the desk, knocking off Athenodora's pen pot from the surface.
"My darling," Athenodora replied, her tone uncharacteristically, and entirely fakely, sugary sweet. "If you crease my papers I shan't pay attention to you for eight and a half weeks."
Didyme snorted an unpolished laugh. "And leave her to me?" she asked, before looking to Bella conspiratorially. "She'll be a nightmare to deal with."
Bella couldn't help a little laugh, and then looked down to her lap with a blush. Didyme shot a victorious smile across at her wives.
Sulpicia, half-offended and half wanting to keep the raport open, pouted. "You don't think I'm a nightmare, do you, Isabella?" she asked, as she glided off the desk and over to Bella.
"Um," Bella stalled. "I- no?" The human was not unaware of her position in Volterra, though human-drinking vampires were certainly not pleasant dream material.
Athenodora switched her gaze from glaring at the fallen pens on the floor to glaring at Sulpicia. "She's biased," she automatically retorted. "You might kill her if she admits it."
Bella's heart started racing at that, and Didyme shot an annoyed glare to her pale wife. "Dora," she hissed under her breath, too quietly and quickly for their human guest to hear. "I don't think reminding her her life is in peril will do much in the way of ingratiating her to us," she chided.
Dora sighed and slumped, but straightened before the movement even registered with Bella. She ordinarily kept impeccable posture, but it was hard knowing she'd disappointed her wives even in some small way, felt the pit growing in her stomach, feeling it drop. "Sorry," she bit out quickly, looking downcast for a brief moment, before neutralising her expression agan.
"Look," Didyme said, her voice at a human-registerable speed and volume. Bella's heart raced. "I know it's scary," she said, willing her gift to strength, "well, no, I don't know to be precise, but I can imagine. But I promise, Isabella," she said, her voice imploring and almost-seductive with how much Bella wanted to believe her, "you're safe here. You will not come to harm. Everybody we… employ has exceptional control, and loyalty, and, quite frankly, there is little benefit to killing you. It would unravel relationships and trust both, and prove our word unreliable." Maybe not, Didyme thought, to vampires outside of the Cullens' influence, but certainly to Carlisle's friends, and he had a lot of friends.
Bella, on the other hand, was almost shocked at this much more pragmatic and practical side of Didyme - she had seemed a nice person, if a vampire, a romantic, a book lover, kind. Bella felt happy around her, and while not safe, certainly the safest out of the vampires here in Volterra. She supposed it made sense - could a flighty, impractical person really work to govern the whole vampire race? Bella swallowed, still feeling that twinge of happiness, warmth in her chest, fighting the swirling in her stomach and the racing of her heart.
"It's… hard to come to terms with that," Bella said quietly, "I mean, I don't mean or want or intend to insult you, but you're… all kind of scary? And drink human blood? I don't… you've not given me reason to doubt your control of yourself," she scrambled to say, "I don't want to give you the impression you've given me that impression, I think that'd be insulting. But, I mean, I do also know the consequences of vampires. It hurts, and it's dangerous, and it's scary, frankly. It's not you," she said, directing it at Didyme - Sulpicia was a little scary, and Athenodora scary and definitely dangerous. "It's just… it's just…."
"The human blood?" Athenodora asked, cutting to the heart of it.
"I mean, yeah. Also you're powerful and intimidating and obviously intelligent, and, I don't know, kind of… superior?"
Sulpicia grinned, her eyebrow raising. "Mm. And wouldn't it be good to have that for yourself?"
"I- what?" Bella asked, choking on the words as they scrambled to get out of her throat.
"I'm not making a formal offer," Sulpicia grinned, moving to sit on the edge of her desk, legs bare and golden and feet glad in scarily-high high heels. She crossed her one leg over the other, and her dress rode up a little. Bella resisted the temptation to look at her revealed thigh, and buried the question of why she wanted to deep down.
"Right," Bella said, uncertainly.
"But I think it's appropriate to decide what you want. You are backed into a corner," the honey-haired vampiress spoke. "You die, or you change, there are no other options. No old age, nothing like that. The law is the law, and we won't make exemptions or exceptions, even if you are awfully adorable when you blush." The word tempting was certainly hidden in the subtext somewhere, and Sulpicia purposefully shifted so her dress revealed a little more of her golden thigh.
Bella glanced at Sulpicia's thigh, and swallowed loudly enough every occupant in the room heard it. The brunette dragged her eyes away, a flush creeping across her skin at Sulpicia's words and her skin. "But… but I did make up my mind," she said. "I made it up the second I found out vampires existed. I never wavered. I want to be one of you, I want it more than I've wanted anything except Edward," she cried, and the three queens shot each other a contemptuous look. "I can't just… make him do it though. He has to want it too."
"So he strips you of your agency to make that choice for yourself?" Didyme asked, keeping her disdain out of her voice expertly - Carlisle was interesting enough, she supposed, a novelty, but Edward hadn't overly ingratiated himself to her. Whiny and childish and too concerned with pessimism.
"No, no, no," Bella said, waving her hands, immediately leaping to Edward's defence. "It's not like that. It's not like that at all. He's just worried, he cares about me, of course he worries about me! I mean… worried? Still worries? I don't… I don't know." Bella frowned - she wasn't entirely confident about where she stood with him now, and he wasn't here to have the conversation with. Her stomach twisted with anxiety, chest feeling tight.
"Isabella," Didyme said softly, coaxingly. "It doesn't sound like he respects your opinion on your own life."
"He just… he didn't want to damn me! Doesn't! I don't know. He's trying to keep me safe."
Sulpicia snorted in amusement, and then raised her hand. "I apologise. It's rude of me to laugh," she said gracefully, "it's just… what on Earth is so damning about vampirism? It is the best gift I've ever received. Well," she paused considering, "maybe the third-best. But it still ranks."
"He said it was about my soul," Bella said, a little self-consciously. She could only imagine how this would sound, but it had been a real concern to Edward, and that made it real whether or not souls existed, as far as she was concerned. "That he didn't want to damn me to Hell."
The three Queens exchanged a bewildered look, before looking back to Bella. Didyme sighed. "And I'm sure he has a very well thought out theology and philosophy," she said, and to her credit managing mostly to hide the sarcasm lacing her tone, "but it's all a bit… dark, don't you think? Optimism is so much more valuable. Not to mention the… distaste I find for forcing views onto other people and the fact that it is still. Your. Choice."
"But… I want him to be the one to do it. I want it to be special," Bella said. "It has to be him."
Sulpicia sighed also, very dramatically for someone who didn't actually need to breathe, but she seemed to pick up on the fact that Bella was not in fact ready to have this conversation fully, though there'd been less stubbornness than she'd expected. It was a touchy subject to all of them, the making of your own destiny, but Didyme in particular. She wanted to save her wife that, at least. And at least the seed had now been implanted in Isabella.
"I… recognise that is what you want," said Athenodora, her phrasing sounding stiff and stock. "But the matter is, if he refuses to do it, either someone else will have to or you'll be finding out what happens in the afterlife sooner than I'm sure you'd like."
Bella frowned, and crossed her arms. "...Sure," she muttered, and Athenodora got back to work, Sulpicia drifting off the desk and to the other side of the room to find and look over a file. Didyme moved to sit next to Isabella and put a comforting hand on her knee; Bella felt the cold through the thick denim of her jeans, but didn't find she minded it overly much.
"I know this has been a tough conversation," Didyme said, moving a little closer to Bella. Didyme's curly hair brushed over Bella's cheek, and a waft of a comforting sunshine scent moved with it. "Shall I have some refreshments brought over?"
"Uh," Bella said, swallowing thickly at the proximity of Didyme, but she felt her tension melting away a little. "A cup of tea might be nice?" She suggested a little unsteadily; she was used to expectations and dictating, not seemingly-genuine consideration.
"Of course," Didyme said, with a bright summer grin. "Felix," she called, though her volume didn't increase in any measurable way. The summoned vampire appeared a second later with a curt half-bow to Didyme.
"How can I be of assistance?" he asked.
"Will you be an absolute darling and have Gianna prepare our guest some tea? There's a good boy," she said, most of her attention still on Bella.
"Of course," he said, with another little bow before he disappeared again.
Didyme smiled at Bella again. "What is it you're reading, if you don't mind my asking? I know Felix brought you some books before, and then there's the whole library to choose from. You have me incredibly curious."
Bella flushed, looking down to the book and tracing a finger over the cover. "Uh, Sappho's poems. I've never really read them before, but I already read it once since I've been here, but they just felt so… special. You know?"
Didyme nodded. "I know that feeling. I do remember Sappho, though," she said, with a fond smile before quoting, "'some men say an army of horses and some men say an army on foot and some men say an army of ships is the most beautiful thing on the black earth. But I say it is what you love.'"
Bella smiled. "I like that bit," she said softly.
"Such a shame," she said, eyes twinkling mischievously, "how much of her work has been lost to time."
Bella looked up at Didyme, with a little frown. "You say that as if they've not been," she said, with a little almost-playful suspicion and a smile that contradicted her frown.
Didyme tapped her temple with a finger and winked. "Oh, I'm sure it exists somewhere," she said breezily. "Maybe you'll uncover those secrets one day." She smiled, and abruptly moved on topics. "Do you read a lot of, hmm… classics?"
"Uh, I guess? Like English ones though, not, like, Ancient world ones. I really like Wuthering Heights."
Didyme smiled. "Whatever our souls are made of, indeed," she grinned. "I think you might like Euripides. I'll dig out a translation for you, if you'd like? Maybe you'll find some similarities between Medea and a certain someone," she winked.
Sulpicia sing-songed, "I can hear you. And Medea was justified. My hero, et cetera."
"You were supposed to hear me," Didyme laughed, and Bella found herself smiling at the sound.
As the blonde and brunette bickered, Athenodora looked at Bella and rolled her eyes very dramatically. "It'd be a wonder how any work got done at all if I weren't here," she said conspiratorially.
Bella let out a little nervous giggle; Athenodora barely noticed as she wondered why she was making so much effort to break out of her usual demeanor. Did she want Isabella to like her? Why? Understanding feelings was not exactly Dora's forte.
The conversation fizzled out, but soon the tea was delivered; a pot, a cup and saucer, along with a milk and sugar pot, all on a tray that Bella was almost certain was real silver. Not that she had an eye for these kinds of things. She couldn't help but have her thoughts dragged back to the conversation they'd had, though - Edward did the things he did because he cared about her, or he used to, or was pretending to, she wasn't really clear on that. She thought he did still care about her, but she still didn't know if it was just an act he put on for guilt. She didn't like the feeling of being left guessing. She distractedly poured herself a cup of the tea, perfectly brewed, and her mind still wandered. It was a decision about her life, sure, but wasn't his input valuable? But… but should he have the final say? She shook her head, not sure about this train of thought. Still..
"Uh, Athenodora?" she asked, her voice catching in her throat with her nerves, addressing the pale woman since the other two occupants of the room were still bickering and teasing each other.
"Yes, Isabella?" Athenodora replied, after she carefully put down her surprisingly modern pen and turned to face Bella fully.
"Do… do you think you're damned?" she asked.
"I… am not the expert on these kinds of things," she said, shrugging. "If you want a well-reasoned opinion on the matter, I think Sulpicia would be the best person to ask."
Bella nodded thoughtfully, and Dora turned to her wives. "Sulpicia. Cease being a nightmare and come have a conversation with our guest. She needs your expertise."
Sulpicia raised an eyebrow, and moved across the room once more to take a seat on the other side of Bella. "My expertise, hm?" she asked, her voice so low and rumbly it was practically a purr, the seduction of it obvious.
Bella flushed. Of course she did. She didn't even want to think about that; she wasn't sure she'd be able to stop if there was even a single crack in the wall. "Uh. Athenodora said you'd know best about being damned or not and stuff?" she asked, voice wavering slightly.
Sulpicia allowed herself a private, momentary smirk, before nodding. "My particular interests are theology, philosophy and psychology, so perhaps," she hummed, shifting a little closer to Bella.
Bella's heart sped up, and she moved her hand to cover her mouth as she cleared her throat. "Do you think vampires are damned?" she asked, her cheeks flushing at how bluntly she asked the question.
Sulpicia, however, smiled lazily - she did enjoy people reaching out and taking what they wanted, directly asking what they wanted to know (not to say she didn't have a gratifying appreciation for people who could play the game well too.) "Ah. Straight to the heart of it. Clearly you'll be coming at this from a more… Christian perspective," she said, raising an eyebrow. "But there's nothing in the Bible. Are we made in God's image too? Do we even have souls? Surely only humans do, but was our soul destroyed upon our turning? Perhaps," she said. "But it feels a lot to me like the question of evil. I'm sure people could spend careers debating the topic and never come to a formal agreement. But in this case? I'd recommend looking inside of yourself, Isabella. Do you feel as though vampires are damned?"
"I…" she said, and Sulpicia raised an eyebrow so she shut up and actually thought about it. Would it make sense? Sure, there was the murder, but clearly they didn't have to murder people, and nobody had ever said killing animals to eat them would damn you to hell as far as she knew. Admittedly, her grasp on religion wasn't the best. She swallowed and frowned and thought, and Sulpicia couldn't help but notice how cute she looked when she was deep inside her own brain.
"I don't think, like, inherently," she decided. "Like. Carlisle. There's no way he could be damned! He doesn't hurt people, he helps them, and he does his best and I don't… I don't know if God is real or not," she murmured, "but I don't think He would create something just for it to go straight to Hell with no free will in the matter? I don't know." She frowned.
Sulpicia smiled and bumped her bare knee against Isabella's clothed one. "I think, then, that that's the only thing that matters. God, if He or any gods exist, is bound to be as incomprehensible to humans as humans are to ants. What matters is coming to your own conclusion, with an opinion that makes sense to you. I can recommend some nice books to come more to grips with it, but I feel as though this is just purely as a result of Edward, hm?"
Bella flushed and nodded. "Yeah, I guess. I don't… I don't like him being so sad all of the time about it, like beating himself up for something he didn't have a choice in when he could be.. I dunno, putting that energy into doing something to 'make up' for it, so to speak?" Bella sighed heavily, and guilt was written across her face - clearly she wasn't a fan of criticising Edward, but the fact she had boded very well for the Queens, and all of them noticed.
"I'll let you get back to your reading," Sulpicia said, "but you can always come to me for a chat about these things. I know my wives are incredibly bored of me rehashing the same material."
Bella nodded, feeling a little distant from herself as she thought. Her hands picked up the book resting on her lap. "Yeah," she said, as she cracked the book open, "thank you."
Sulpicia nodded and moved to sit back at her desk, as did Didyme. The Queens were practically glowing with accomplishment, but Bella didn't notice. She was too lost in her thoughts as she tried to read the translated words of Sappho.