Hello, everyone. I decided to post this chapter sooner than later due to the fact that Christmas is close and I will be leaving the country a couple of days after for a family trip. I apologize for the quality when compared to the others, and will do better for the next update. Even so, I hope you enjoy this chapter, and for those who feel that I this story is hard to follow… that's ok. If you feel the story is no longer to your liking and wish to review, do so in a respectful way. I may or not follow through with your suggestions, and this may go further away from your preferences. In the end, I appreciate that you have been following this fanfic until now, and hopefully my other projects will be more to your liking.
With all of this said, let us go to the Christmas Special!
I Can't Believe It's Not a Game!
-Chapter VI: Ghost of Christmas Past-
Christmas was a time for family, friends and even strangers to become closer. Even in Fuyuki, a place with a very small population of Christian believers, Christmas was such a time for celebration, for reunions, and especially favored for those seeking to prove their love.
For Tohsaka Rin, it had always been quite different.
Her father may have been close to the Church and most of it rules, but he had been a magus first and foremost. Sure, he was close enough to the previous representatives sent to Fuyuki to ally with them during the Holy Grail War but, in the end, it had been just that -an alliance of convenience. His way of life, and by extension that of his family, was that of a family of magi. With all of the privileges and burdens involved with the life of magi as well as those added with the Tohsaka being the Second Owners of Fuyuki and one of the Three Founding Families of the Heaven's Feel System.
When the Tohsaka had been four -with the occasional visits from Matou Kariya- the times of Christmas had been a mix of joy and false platitudes. One the one hand, Rin did hang out with some of her friends from school and even visited them, but her parents had never been the sort to openly invite people outside of the Moonlit World to the Tohsaka Manor. And so, Rin was a normal kid outside of her home, but the eldest daughter when some important visitor came.
In the eve of the previous Holy Grail War, Sakura was given away to the Matou and she was sent to her mother's family for protection. By the time Christmas came, the family of four was reduced to one solitary girl with an insane mother, both under the care of the son of the Church representative -who had been killed during the Holy Grail War, just like her own father.
That became the first of many dull Christmases, and the passing of her mother not long after only cemented further the situation of Rin as the last of her family.
During the next two Christmases, Rin kept to herself. She knew that Sakura -her sister- still lived as part of the Matou Clan, but she stuck with her late father's decision and treated her as a stranger, and eventually a classmate. She kept tabs on Sakura to some degree, but didn't pry further into her former sister's affairs. As for her guardian, Rin refused to spend more time than required in his presence, and the man was quite comfortable with her decision.
Those three Christmases were indeed dull, solitary and depressing, with Rin preferring to spend most of her time immersed in her studies of Magecraft to avoid thinking about it.
But then came Middle School, and a new visage entered into her life.
Mitsuzuri Ayako, the energetic tomboy who forced Rin out of the mask of the perfect student and outside of the mask of the Tohsaka heiress.
Ayako became her best friend, perhaps her only friend since the tragedy that befell the Tohsaka made her cut off all previous ties as she took on the role of the last member of her family.
Instead of spending her Christmas hiding in the basement and looking through the remnants of her family's library, Ayako convinced Rin of hanging around the Mitsuzuri home, and even convinced her to visit at other times of the year.
Instead of eating by herself at home, Rin was able go as far as to impress Ayako's family with the cooking skills she had learnt under the fake priest.
Instead of focusing exclusively on her duties, Ayako had Rin run around the newer parts of Fuyuki to watch the lively streets and businesses during Christmas time, always poking around with their bet of who could get a boyfriend first. None of them ever came close to such event, but that didn't stop them from having fun imagining possible confessions going wrong.
In Christmas time and during the rest of their Middle School years, Ayako became the sole person around which Rin could be a normal girl. Even as she kept her distance from her sister and played the game of strangers, even without her parents or former friends lightening her days, and even with the burdens and expectations of the Tohsaka name, Rin had found a measure of happiness in her friend.
But then came Fate Grand Order and ruined it all.
Just as the Fourth Holy Grail War had done years ago, the game proceeded to dismantle the delicate balance of her life and the small measure of happiness she had found until then.
She was forced to choose between her duties as a Second Owner and her friendship, and only Emiya Shirou's intervention had saved her friend from damnation. All of the prestige still left in the Tohsaka name was useless in front of a table filled with powerful names from different corners of the Moonlit World, and the one to openly stand his ground for Ayako's sake had been the nobody who had little to gain and much more to lose.
The bond she had built with Ayako became strained that night, and would only be strained further with the next set of events that occurred but a couple of days after.
In one night, Rin lost the closeness she had with Ayako since the beginning of Middle School.
By the next two nights, Ayako demanded to Rin that she left the grounds of the Emiya Estate and that she didn't bother visiting the Mitsuzuri home from then on. Rin had been led outside of the gates by the polite but very disappointed Emiya Shirou, who had been put in charge of caring of her now homeless sister by the Edelfelt heiress.
In the solitude of her manor during that Christmas Eve, and in the months that followed that last encounter, Rin would often remember the last heated argument she held with Ayako before the latter demanded her departure from her only safe haven.
'I believed you were limited in action because I was the muggle in the group, the normal girl in a world of monsters and magic. But if this is how you threat your own flesh and blood, if you would rather live by the word and expectations of your dead father… then I can no longer put my trust in you, or in the friendship we had until now. She was your family Rin, your little sister! And you were content with obeying your dear papa's order to pretend she didn't exist even after the bastard kicked the bucket!'
Rin had tried explaining herself, to make her friend understand her point of view.
'You don't understand Mitsuzuri. I had to respect the agreement between our families for the sake of avoiding any confrontation and to maintain the trust in my family's word. I could not take Sakura back just like nothing without consequences.'
'And that means never speaking to your sister as family? Never asking her if she was doing well, if she needed help? Never bothering with running a freaking check on the monster acting as her new grandpa or her rapist of a brother!'
'I didn't' know Ayako!' -Rin replied with heat in her voice, going back to calling her friend on first name basis – 'I couldn't have known any of the things happening there without confronting Zouken himself! I wish I had known before; I wish I was stronger than that monster, then and now. But I did not know and I was never a match for him inside his very workshop. Even if you knew beforehand, what would you have done in my position!'
Without missing a beat, Ayako replied resolutely.
'Anything. Even if I didn't know a thing about the horrors he was going through, I would have never continued with the farce of pretending Minori was not my brother after our parents were gone. I don't think I would have gone along with it in the first place. If I saw something wrong, I would have tried all I could to pry the truth from him, and if he feared so much that I confronted his torturer, I would have sought help.
You are the magus, you are the one with connections and skills above those of normal person. If those could not give me my brother back, I would have run away with him. Out of this city forsaken by any benevolent god and as far as I could from all the horrible monsters of your side of the world. Even if there was a good chance I could fail, I would try and do my best. But you didn't' Rin.'
'I-'
'You chose your father above your sister. You chose the duties and pride of your family above the duties to your younger sister, the one who silently begged for you to save her from your father's stupidity. You chose to remain in your position for the years to come, before taking a risk for you only remaining family… or for your only friend'
'I… I must ensure the future of my family and the safety of the city.'
Ayako's stare hardened even more, her voice colder.
'You failed, Rin. You let those two monsters do as they wished for years, never asking for help and never wishing to risk your own neck or future. I could understand that selfishness for other things, I can expect that selfishness from most people for other things. But you are not allowed such selfishness in your position; not when it comes to the people you supposedly care for.'
Rin said nothing, but a part of her was actually angry at the callous image Ayako was creating of her. She could understand the anger, but did Ayako understand her own burdens?
And then her friend said the one thing that broke the camels' back.
'In the end, you are succeeding in your path, Rin. You truly are becoming you father's daughter. Both of you would willingly sacrifice your family and friends for the grater path ahead for your personal ambitions, and both of you are absolute failures at protecting this city. Under you father, your sister was thrown away like trash and a good chunk of Fuyuki burnt. By walking on the same road… how many lives will be lost this time-'
She didn't let her finish.
Rin interrupted stopped Ayako just as she had been finishing her part, by slapping her left check with her right hand, all manner of decor abandoned, freely letting out her own tears for the first time in years.
'How… How dare you? ...HOW DARE YOU!' -she shouted, her hand still in the same position after hitting her friend –'You think I wanted this! You think I am an all-powerful witch who can bend the world to her will and needs only resolution to enact it? That I was content by letting Sakura fade into Shadows, or letting other magi walk in my city as if they owned the goddamned place!? I was raised to become the next head and to respect the traditions of a family of magi above all else, for the only alternative was to let others destroy us.
You think my feud with Edelfelt is but a joke, that I could just pull off some amazing scheme and pull one over a five-hundred-year magi, one of the original founders of the goddamned Heavens' Feel no less. Yes, I am weak. Weaker than I would like, thanks in part to that backstabbing priest who helped sinking my family even further. I could not simply take away Sakura with no reason, I could not talk back with her without getting into some argument with Matou Zouken, even before knowing the kind of things he did -and the kind of monster he was. If I risked it all, if I had nothing left to protect our family, to continue the legacy that was my responsibility… what would we have left?'
For about ten seconds none of them spoke. Rin even had time to put her arms into a more comfortable position, even as her body remained tense.
Eventually, she got her reply.
'You would still be Sakura's older sister. I dislike Minori half of the time I spend around him, but I would renounce my family name and live on the run for the rest of my life if that is what it took to protect him from monster like that Zouken bastard. Fuck my family, fuck their ambition and rules, I would never throw away my little brother like trash just for the sake of my old man's plans. You should have been that way, Rin. Even if it meant leaving this city to your cousin, even if it meant dishonoring your bastard of a father.
You came here asking for Sakura and offering to take care of her, but you are doing too little, too late. The cousin you despise is acting as a more caring sibling than you ever did, she actually went ballistic when she heard of what Sakura went through. And the idiot who is reaching farther than he should be able to has offered her the care and kindness that nobody showed her in years. Days ago, I thought you couldn't protect me because you were caught by surprise and cornered by those people. Tonight, I cannot trust you to protect any of us even at your best.'
This time, no words came out of Rin's mouth. Not even when Ayako turned away to leave, not even as she uttered her last words before leaving
'Get out and go home, Tohsaka. You don't need to visit my house anymore. You no longer need to keep a silent watch for your sister from the distance. You don't need choose anymore. Someone else will protect us in your stead, and I will do my all to avoid being a burden. Whatever happens, it's not your burden to bear any longer.'
Rin remained silent even as she was escorted outside by the actual owner of the Emiya Estate, who politely bid her goodbye before closing the door.
His eyes carried pity and a probably some disappointment directed at her, but he didn't say a word or treated her coldly, neither did he offer fake kindness.
It was the only good thing that occupied her sleep that night.
The following months were hard on Rin, with the only highlight being Emiya's willingness to meet her outside of his home, and inviting her those times he was sure she would be out of sight and hearing of both Ayako and the new addition to his household, Sakura Edelfelt.
They talked about the surprises delivered with every update and event of the Grand Order game, and he vouched for her inclusion during the meeting involving the bigger names. Surprisingly, his vote had more weight than anyone would ever consider in the past.
Shirou mediated between Rin and Luvia, especially during those two months during which the old vitriol and rivalry of her distant relative had given way to cold looks and neutrality. Rin would never admit it to anyone, but she welcomed wholeheartedly the return of the exchange of insults and wrestling between them.
In time, they spoke about themselves.
Both orphaned by the Holy Grail War, both left with the broken dreams of their fathers and struggling to fulfill them, while at the same time secretly enjoying the normality of Fuyuki.
They spoke about their impressions of the new cast of characters playing a role in their lives, both inside and outside the game which had brought change to them.
They even spoke about more trivial things, like their strengths and weaknesses in cooking, Shirou's unorthodox (and very poor) use of Magecraft, and Rin's own lack of skill when it came to handling any complex peace of technology with the exception of her cellphone.
And just as Mitsuzuri Ayako had been the one to help Rin handle her life during Middle School, Emiya Shirou became the person to help her come out of her isolation in the first months since that last fight of words with the first.
When they all started their High School days -with Luvia pulling some strings to ensure Sakura could advance one year ahead – Rin soon became one of the most popular students in Homurahara, while also gaining the strange enmity of a new friend from Shirou: Issei, from the Ryoudou Family who held their temple at one of the main spots for the Heaven's Feel. As Ayako had been until that encounter at the Memorial Park, Ryoudou became the only 'normal' person during their gatherings, since Rin doubted Fujimura-sensei was normal to begin with.
And so, the months until the next Christmas Eve advanced, with change brought in the form of new revelations from Grand Order. Perhaps none had more impact in her life than the Zero Accel Event.
The confirmation of the evil entity inhabiting the Holy Grail War -which had been connected to Sakura before the intervention that led to the eradication of Matou Zouken and his legacy- had been concerning enough, and Rin had been glad that all parties concerned agreed on the immediate deactivation of the Greater Grail. was more than one raised eyebrow with the official confirmation of the participants of the previous Grail War. With the Matou all but extinct and Rin herself refusing to take the risk of releasing a wannabe God of Evil, only the Einzbern remained would have shown opposition amongst the Founding Families, yet they showed surprising acceptance under the management of the new family head.
Particular interest went for the reveal of another Counter Guardian EMIYA and Dress of Heaven, both which were confirmed as the couple who summoned Saber Artoria Pendragon to fight on behalf of the Einzbern during the previous Holy Grail War. If the game and Waver were on the right track, the Einzbern Homunculus could have been Shirou's stepmother had she survived the war.
And just as Shirou had been affected by the fate that befell that particular incarnation of his father, Rin had been struck hard by the revelation that 'Uncle Kariya' had been not only another victim of the cruelty of Matou Zouken, but he had joined the war to rescue Sakura from her father's decision. It had been then that Rin finally and wholeheartedly agreed with her old friend's words and sought further confirmation by searching like a possessed woman in his personal archive for an entire night.
She found her answers.
He knew.
Tohsaka Tokiomi had known enough of the Matou Magecraft, and the possible fate awaiting her sister. He feared that one of his daughters would have her potential wasted due to the rules of inheritance for their Family Crest, and solved the problem by throwing his youngest to Zouken while expecting both sisters to fight each other -even to the death if necessary- should he fail at his quest for the Grail. All for the sake of ensuring one of them could bring glory to the Tohsaka at the small price of fratricide.
The next day, she went by herself to the place where her parents were buried, and vented out.
She cursed Tohsaka Tokiomi for being a horrible father, she cursed her own mother for playing along and never defying his orders in any way or form, and she cursed herself for living by the worst traits of them both.
And on their grave, she promised herself that she would not forsake her family name but make her own path for a better legacy. Rin would clean the disgusting stain on the Tohsaka name left by her parents, and ensure that the people she cared for would not become bodies to step over along the way. Rin could not simply give up her life as a magus and the last of her line, so she would go the hard way and accomplish what the Edelfelt had even without the advantages they possessed. Even if she had to start from scratch, Tohsaka Rin would succeed while retaining the heart that her father had so callously thrown away when it came to caring for his family as people.
She owed that much to Sakura, to Ayako… even to Shirou, who had taken the burden she could not and supported her in his own way. She would prove them, and herself, that Tohsaka Rin could reach the hard goal of rising to the top while preserving her humanity.
Her real trial would come a year after the global release of Fate Grand Order, at the end of February.
N/A: So here it is. Unfortunately, I was unable to proceed to the next part with a decent text for tonight, so I am afraid there is a good chance the next two parts of this arc will be delivered by mid-January since I will be busy the next days before my trip.
Once again, I am very happy with the support, and welcome all reviews -criticism, ideas, etc. – so long as they are not for the sake of throwing flames. I wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
Until the next time, see ya!