Chapter 9

Shikamaru chafed at his weekend duties. It was bad enough to be working on the weekend but he had to wear a standard shinobi uniform the entire time, too. Usually tasks on Saturday and Sunday were more laid back and one could wear whatever was comfortable for the job at hand. Not this time. He had to look 'professional' the entire time, whatever that meant.

Plus he had to stay at Mom's house. Temari had vacated the apartment and it had just not felt right to stay there even though the new occupant would not arrive for a few days. He hadn't had much stuff over there so he had just gathered it all up and dumped it back at his house Friday night. Of course this meant that Mom was immediately suspicious that Something Was Wrong.

And there was something wrong. Something was horribly wrong. He kind of understood that hormones during pregnancy could affect women in a lot of different ways but this was totally out of character for Temari. She had lied to him about...about...ending it. He ought to be angry and he was, a little, but mostly he was terrified that something was wrong with her. What if she did something to hurt herself?

He turned his attention to his daimyo. Fortunately the requirements for the weekend were easy enough. Mostly to just be present, answer questions when asked. Once the daimyo's little dog slipped away, chasing a rabbit and Shikamaru had to go retrieve it. Literally any other shinobi from a genin up could have performed this weekend's duties.

The daimyo did surprise him once by asking his opinions on certain strategies for shogi. Shikamaru didn't realize how accomplished a player the man was and enjoyed the discussion more than he expected. He grudgingly realized that Temari had a point - notice by daimyo would help his career. Maybe not directly, shinobi rarely reported to the daimyo directly, but it would make Tsunade happy. And anything that made Tsunade happy made life better for all the shinobi. So if it meant chasing lap dogs and chatting about shogi for a weekend he was happy to do his part.

Just not this weekend.

The day's activities finally at a close, Shikamaru headed back to his house. He paused as he entered the door, recognizing the smells instantly. His mom had prepared all his favorite dishes. He sighed, he had absolutely no appetite. Hadn't wanted anything to eat at all since his conversation with Temari. Since then all he had wanted was a cigarette. But he hadn't been able to smoke around the daimyo and he was looking forward to coming back to the house and just smoking in the yard while he thought things through.

Now he would have to eat dinner or else she would know Something Was Wrong. And it shouldn't be a chore, Mom was actually a great cook. If he didn't eat she'd be disappointed. Guiltily he admitted that he had been disappointing her a lot lately, since Dad died. It had hurt too much to be around the house where everything reminded him of Dad. Everything had just been easier when he hung out at Temari's.

He could smoke later. "Smells great, Mom," he said as he kissed her on the cheek and took his spot at the table. "Thanks."

Yoshino tried to keep the conversation light, asking him about his day with the daimyo, genuinely curious. She was worried about her son. When he had shown up with his belongings in tow indicating he was going to be back staying awhile she knew something bad had happened between the two of them. He had been with Temari for a while now, she was used to him practically living there full time. The fact that he was back here, seemingly to stay, spoke volumes.

Part of her was delighted to have him around but she was wise enough to know that now it was for all the wrong reasons. He belonged with Temari. If she had had the opportunity to hand-select what she presumed was her own future daughter-in-law she couldn't have picked someone she thought we be a better match for him than Temari. She loved the girl in her own way.

Shikamaru was trying to hide it but she knew he was miserable. He was barely picking at his food. If only Shikaku was here he could talk to him about it. She missed her husband terribly. Sometimes the loneliness was more than she could bear. But now she needed him here for their son. And he wasn't.

Shikamaru needed Shikaku. Or Asuma. Or even Inoichi. She thought back miserably to the good men in their lives, in Shikamaru's life that they had lost. In addition to his own father, her son had had an incredibly strong bond with his sensei. And her husband's best friend had been practically an uncle to him. Shikaku, Asuma and Inoichi. The three men who he could have turned to for advice were no longer around to give it.

She thought about asking him directly about it but decided that would be too embarrassing. He was a smart young man. He knew that she had figured out things were bad. If he wanted her help or advice he would ask for it.

After dinner he helped her clear the table then went outside. It broke Yoshino's heart to see him out there alone. Usually, this time in the evenings, if they were both home from missions, he and Shikaku would have been playing Shogi by now. Or tending to the deer. She sighed. It was later than she realized and she really should have set out some sweet feed by now.

She wiped her hands on her apron and took it off, heading out to the backyard. She headed to the shed where the feed was stored, intending to leave her son alone with his thoughts. But he saw her and realized what she was doing so he simply fell in line behind her and said, "I'll help."

"It's okay, I can do it," she replied.

But he was already sliding open the door and lifting out the sack of feed, carrying it to the edge of the forest where it touched their back lawn. He sat the sack down and both he and his mother began tossing handfuls of the grain around.

"Mom?"

"Yes?"

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure," Yoshino was intently studying the grain she had spread on the ground, not looking at him but giving him time to frame his question.

"When...how...did you and Dad decide you were going to get married?"

Yoshino gave a little laugh. He'd never expressed any interest in his parent's relationship before. She knew most kids thought their parents were boring and couldn't imagine them having any type of life before they came along. Her son was no exception and if the truth were told, she and Shikaku had probably been the same about their own parents.

She laughed just a little again, surprised after all these years she was going to tell him. "Well, umm...I guess...it was when I found out I was pregnant."

"What?"

The look of shock on his face was actually kind of humorous, Yoshino thought.

"Mom! You all always told me you got married a year before I was born."

Yoshino shrugged and looked back down at the grain on the ground. "We did. I was a couple of months pregnant when we got married and, um...I lost it a couple of months later. And then...you were born in September."

"I'm sorry. I didn't know."

She sighed and turned back to look up at him. "Don't be. We never told you - there was never any reason to."

They stood in silence near the edge of the forest for a little while until a few of the deer slipped out to nibble on the grain. The sky was a purple-ish twilight when they turned to walk back to the house.