Social Engagements

"Sir Richard Carlisle," said Carson's deep, dutiful voice on the night of the dinner party. Mary's fiancé stood in the drawing room, in a crisp, obviously brand – new brown suit. Unfortunately, neither Lord Merton nor Larry or Tim were able to come. Cora hadn't realized the family were still in mourning for Lady Merton, who had passed away from the same flu virus that had almost killed Cora.

While there were no possible suitors for Edith, Cora was happy to welcome the man who would soon be a permanent part of their family. "Hello, Sir Richard," she said with a warm smile, holding out her hand.

"Lady Grantham," he said, returning her smile and shaking her hand.

"Sir Richard," Robert said, almost interrupting their exchange for some reason. Cora's body grew tense in response. She'd never known her husband to be so rude to a guest, especially one who would soon be a part of their family. Hadn't he finally accepted Sir Richard over a month ago?

Cora wandered further into the drawing room, not wishing to see anymore of Robert's behavior with Sir Richard for the moment. It was a happy occasion, finally having a dinner party after the war and that nasty Spanish flu. The drawing room was bright and fleshly cleaned, and Mary was wearing one of her new dresses she'd purchased in York. The deep burgundy gown looked very becoming on her eldest daughter. Cora refused to allow Robert to drag her pleasure with his foolish pettiness again.

From several feet, she watched as Mary greeted her fiancé with a careful nod and another handshake. Sir Richard also glanced at Mary in a very appreciative manner, and Cora knew Mary had chosen exactly the right gown for tonight. Richard was obviously very eager to wed Mary, even despite her youthful mistake.

OOOOOOOOOOO

"I have been meaning to say," Robert said later, with a sigh as they all sipped their shellfish stew. "How grateful I am to you, Sir Richard, for keeping my daughters safe on their recent…excursion to Ireland." His eyes glanced at both Mary and Edith for a moment.

Cora's body relaxed completely as she smiled at her husband from across the table. Naturally, he knew how to be kind and polite to guests, despite his earlier fumbling. And he was truly accepting this gentleman into their family.

"I was very happy to do so, Lord Grantham," Sir Richard said proudly. Cora then smiled at her future son – in – law. Her body felt warm from both stew and emotion in a pleasant way.

"How are the plans for Haxby coming along?" Cora asked, eager to hear about the status of Mary's future home. It was so nice that Mary would be living next door after she was married, especially considering Sybil had moved all the way to Ireland.

Sir Richard's eyes brightened at the opportunity to discuss the new home. "I have been there to inspect it recently and all the new plumbing I've ordered has been installed. Mary, you should come with me soon to see it yourself."

Mary didn't answer right away, leaving an awkward silence at the dinner table, except for the soft sipping of stew.

"Is that all that new equipment truly necessary in a nice, stately home like Haxby?" Robert said neutrally, but with veiled frustration and hostility that Cora hoped Sir Richard didn't hear. He could be too old – fashioned for his own good sometimes. It had it taken Cora a long time to convince him to add electricity to Downton, which had been completely necessary for the convalescent home.

"I prefer the appearance of the old – fashioned home and the convince of a new home, Lord Grantham," Sir Richard said firmly.

"I am certain Mary will enjoy the new convinces as well," Cora said, trying to defuse the tension between the two men and focus on what was truly important. Her eyes glanced at Mary's for conformation, and Mary's brown eyes met hers in response.

But Mary still didn't respond to Sir Richard's offer to see her new home. Cora tried another tactic. "Have you discussed when to hold the wedding yet?" They'd been engaged for over a year now, after all. They'd already pushed the wedding back once, because of Lavinia's funeral and Sybil's wedding, but there was no stopping them now.

"Mary seems… hesitant to think of such things," Sir Richard said, sounding causal but giving Mary a strange look at the same time.

Cora's stew tumbled around her stomach in an uncomfortable way. Her eldest daughter was lucky to be engaged to such a fine gentleman, especially given her circumstances. Her daughter wasn't in love with him, by any means, but they could be happy enough. Especially as Mary was rather like her father, who took a long time to fall in love, but loved completely once he did.

But Sir Richard certainly wouldn't wait forever, and Mary would lose her chance at marriage and love. "Well, Mary, I hope you grow more eager soon," she said carefully.

"Mama, I will be as eager as I like," Mary said in the same firm voice that Sir Richard had used a moment ago. Cora wasn't certain what she meant. It was possible Mary was offended by Cora's term; Mary didn't like to admit she was excited about anything, especially not to Cora.

What worried Cora was that Mary might still be unwilling to prepare for her wedding in any real way.

But Mary took a sip of stew, as if that ended the argument.

OOOOOOOOOOO

Cora studied Mary again as they all nibbled on cucumber sandwiches for luncheon, wondering how to best approach the topic of Sir Richard.

Meanwhile, Robert said causally, "Cousin Susan and Shrimpie have invited us to visit Duneagle next week. I suppose with the war being over, and everyone returning to their lives, it is time to resume social activities."

Cora tensed even more as she thought of Cousin Susan's insults toward Mary over the years. Last time their family had journeyed to Duneagle in 1913, Cora had barely been able to protect her daughters from the many veiled attacks. Never mind how difficult it had been to keep Robert from knowing what Susan meant.

But it seemed Mary didn't remember Susan's insults, as she brightened considerably, her eyes growing wide. "That sounds nice. The Gillies' Ball is always a good time, and we could all use a bit less gloom around here."

"Exactly my thoughts," Robert said, meeting Mary's eyes in understanding. They truly were very similar, and Cora's heart warmed a bit to see it, despite her worries about Mary.

Remembering her anxieties and why Mary was at the focus at the moment, Cora focused her eyes on her eldest. "I hope you might be more interested in visiting Haxby soon, Mary," Cora said finally, after swallowing a bite of sandwich.

"I will visit it when I please, Mama," Mary said, using the same firm, stubborn voice she'd used yesterday.

Cora took another bite of sandwich to gather her patience, wishing her eldest wasn't always so difficult. "Sir Richard told us yesterday that it was impressive," she said calmly. "I would think you'd like to see your new home yourself, especially as he specifically offered to take you in the near future."

"I'm certain Mary has other things to do with her time, Cora," Robert said, a bit louder than usual, showing how cross this conversation had made him. "After all, she has to prepare for our holiday to Duneagle."

Cora sighed. She had truly thought he was coming around to Sir Richard. But perhaps his additude was more toward the renovations at Haxby than Mary's fiancé?

At this point, Mary was Cora's primary concern. "Sir Richard is a fine gentleman, but he will not wait forever. See that you use the time before and after our holiday wisely," she said firmly in Mary's brown eyes. Then Cora carefully took a sip of tea, knowing her daughter wouldn't appreciate that reference. Even more by what was implied, which was that Mary wouldn't likely receive a better offer. But it seemed it needed to be said, as Mary was still dragging her feet on her engagement. And what would happen to Edith's chance of a match if Mary never married?

Cora was correct. Mary immediately huffed, "Thank you for that reminder, Mama. I will remind you that I understand the rules of our world better than you ever will. I know what my responsibilities are." With that, she took a dainty sip of her own tea.

At another time, Cora might feel hurt that Mary still thought her mother was an outsider in aristocratic England, but right now, Cora was too relieved. Mary did understand. She smiled at both Mary, and at Edith, whom Cora was certain would find a match soon.

The tea and the cucumbers sandwiches tasted better than ever now that everything was resolved.

OOOOOOOOOO

A couple of hours after the cucumber sandwiches, Cora entered the library, wondering if Robert was interested in reading Le Morte d'Arthur today. Unfortunately, their relationship had once again been pushed aside for the past week, as the dinner party grew closer. They'd only read together once and hadn't walked at all.

Of course, their champagne induced intimacy from last week hadn't helped, either. Cora hadn't known what to say about it, so perhaps she'd been avoiding him on some level? They still slept in the same bed, but that was all.

But now it was time for their marriage to be a priority again. She smiled as she saw Robert, sitting at his desk, making notes.

"Hello," she said cheerfully, stepping next to him, even as he still sat as his desk. "I thought you might like to read another chapter of that book we were enjoying together?" Cautiously, she placed her hands on his shoulders, appreciating the muscles beneath her fingers.

"Hmmm?" Robert mumbled, still making notes.

"Robert?" Cora said a little louder, placing her hands more firmly against his shoulders.

"Cora?" he said, finally turning around to meet her eyes. "I'm sorry, I just needed to finish that. But I do wish you wouldn't…push Mary toward Carlisle so."

Push? Cora shook her head in denial. "That's not what I was doing, and you should know that. I'm not a pushy person, Robert." She took as step away from him, wondering why he would think such a thing about her. Mama was pushy. Mother was pushy. Rosamund could be pushy, but Cora wasn't. She thought they'd begun understanding each other again over the past month and half, but apparently not.

Robert shrugged and stood at his full height, his eyes narrowing a bit. "Ordinarily I agree; you are one of the least pushy people I know. But your behavior at luncheon was rather forceful. Suggesting Mary visit Haxby with Carlisle soon? And what was that about how 'he won't wait forever'?"

Sighing, Cora wondered how to explain this to him without revealing Mary's mistake. Perhaps it would have been better to discuss Mary and Sir Richard without Robert present. "I'm just worried about Mary, Robert," she said finally, hoping to make him understand some of her concerns. "I think she's dragging her feet too long on her engagement. If Sir Richard sacks her, it could have a negative impact on Edith, too."

"Edith will have plenty of opportunities to meet gentlemen at Duneagle. And I still think it would be best for all concerned if Carlisle sacked Mary," Robert said with a sigh. "Or better yet if Mary sacked him." Scowling, he said, "I loathe having that man in my house."

Cora tensed up at his words. She took another step away from him, feeling distant again. "I truly believed you were past this, Robert. After all, you allowed Sir Richard to escort Mary and Edith to Sybil's wedding, and you even thanked him for that last night. Once again, I will remind you that Sir Richard is a gentleman who has gone out of his way to make Mary happy. He's purchased a home for them that is near us, so she'll always be close to our family and to Downton. He even tried to include Carson as well."

"His behavior towards Carson is just one of the things I detest about Carlisle," Robert said, scowling again. "Do you know why Carson changed his mind about the Haxby position? Carlisle was offering bribes, and Carson couldn't respect that."

Cora sighed, letting the knowledge sink into her brain. "So, Sir Richard isn't perfect. He is still a good addition to this family, which I thought you already acknowledged for Sybil's wedding." She felt more and more tense the more they spoke.

"I only asked Sir Richard to escort Mary and Edith to Ireland because absolutely no one else was available or willing," Robert said loudly, his voice filling the entire library. "It was so important to you to have some of our family at that wedding, so I rang everyone I could think of. Carlisle was the only one who said yes." His face turned almost red with anger as he said the last word.

Cora stared at her husband as he revealed this, mixed feelings swirling inside her. On one hand, Robert had taken more effort than she'd ever thought to allow Mary and Edith to attend Sybils wedding, and her heart swelled at that thought. Especially considering how he still struggled with their youngest daughter's decision. On the other hand, Sir Richard was Robert's last option? Cora's blood simultaneously boiled against her will, as she hated becoming angry. Especially at her husband.

But she couldn't stand this. "Robert, Sir Richard is a good man who has proposed to Mary. Mary has accepted. He will be a part of this family, so you need to treat him with the respect he deserves."

"He deserves no respect, Cora. Certainly not from me. Not only is he offering bribes, and probably has bribed who knows how many others, but he's got a horrible wandering eye," He shook his head. "I saw the way he was looking at you last night."

Cora's mind flashed to Sir Richard's friendly warm smiles from the night before and Robert's rude behavior in return. At least now she understood why, but he was still being foolish. "I cannot hear this anymore, Robert. I'm going for a walk. By myself."

Le Morte d'Arthur would have to wait.

"Good," she heard Robert say as she left the library.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

OOOOOOOOO

Robert didn't understand Cora. At all.

She was pushing a dishonorable newspaper man toward their daughter, insisting that he was Mary's best option? A man who seemed to treat Mary with more disrespect all the time, and who still had that annoying look that implied he had power over all of them? Granted, for some reason Mary continued with the engagement, but how could Cora encourage this?

What was even worse was that Cora believed she had the right to be cross at him. What had happened to the woman who understood him better than anyone? Who never became cross and forgave easily? He'd thought they'd begun to recover their relationship in the past two months, but now they were as distant as ever.

Their book lay on the shelf, once again abandoned. And Robert took his morning walks with Isis, while Cora chose to stroll in the afternoon, by herself. At dinner, both of them focused on Mary, Edith, and their upcoming trip to Duneagle. More times than he wished to admit, he'd snapped at her in the drawing room.

Robert still slept in Cora's room, which allowed him to hope their relationship wasn't as horrid as it appeared. But neither spoke as they climbed into the bed.

OOOOOOOOOOOOO

The night before they left, Cora's nasty lady's maid, O'Brien, was unfortunately still in the room when Robert entered.

He stared as the woman brushed through Cora's hair one more time. His wife's hair was always beautiful, so why did O'Brien need to brush it so many times? Did the sneaky woman think she would earn more money?

"… Is everything prepared for Duneagle, milady?" O'Brien's fake sweet – sounding voice asked Cora as she brushed.

"I believe so, although some things will need to be packed tomorrow," said Cora in her naturally sweet voice.

"Yes, milady," said O'Brien, finally placing the brush back on the vanity, and beginning to weave the nightly braid.

"Thank you, O'Brien," Cora said, nodding as she gave her maid one of her gentle smiles. Of course, she still refused to see O'Brien as anything more than dedicated employee. Carson told Robert of how the maid gossiped and "sewed discontent" among the other servants. And Robert knew O'Brien was responsible for Cora's low opinion of Bates.

But Cora refused to hear anything negative about the woman, nor would she see how manipulative the maid could be. O'Brien was far worse than Mama on that.

The maid gave a small curtsy and nodded her head at Robert. "Goodnight, milady, milord," she said, finally disappearing from the room.

Briefly, Robert studied Cora's form in her long, silk nightgown. How could he have forgotten how beautiful she was earlier this year? But it was no matter now. Cora certainly didn't want him in that way, considering how she climbed into bed without saying a word and turned her body away from him.

Sighing, Robert stared into the darkroom, wondering once again, how he and Cora could become close again. He longed for the days where they would whisper to each other as they climbed into bed, even giggling occasionally. He'd stroke her smooth cheeks, and she would caress his shoulders. Sometimes they would also cover each other with kisses and more, even though the possiblity of conceiving was no longer possible.

In fact, they'd done so only a few weeks ago, for his birthday. But obviously, the alcohol had been responsible. Why did it matter, though? He was still cross at her for pushing Mary toward that jerk, Carlisle.

Robert stared at the top of the canopy bed, as if it were a dark cloud over his head.

But then, perhaps he was being unfair. After all, Cora saw only what she wished in nasty O'Brien. Why should it be surprising that she saw only what she wished in Richard Carlisle? "I can be far too naïve," she'd told him on the day after their wedding. * And Robert had found that to be very true over the years, a quality that came from her tender heart. It could be endearing, and it made him love her even more. It also made him extremely protective of her, as he knew people easily took advantage of it.

But how could Robert protect Mary from Cora's naivety?

OOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Despite Robert's continued worries for Mary, he knew he needed to apologize to Cora for his behavior the next day. Unfortunately, that was easier said than done, as servants and family alike were in a rush to reach the train station on time. Everyone knew how greatly Mama detested the late train.

How many times had Robert heard it over the years? "I will not arrive at Duneagle after dark, Robert." … "You know what an inconvenience it would be for our hosts who have been kind enough to send us this invitation" … "You know it takes me longer to move these days, Robert." … "We must all be at the station platform by 10:00AM. No exceptions."

His heart was still beating too quickly as he stepped onto the platform with Cora, Mary and Edith. Other passengers of all classes whizzed by, increasing the stress.

Then, Robert heard a familiar thumping sound from behind him. It was Mama's cane. "We'd best climb on board," she said in her no – nonsense voice. "We cannot be late, after all." With that she headed toward the first-class door, without even pausing. Her cane still thumped as she moved.

Robert sighed. He could relax on the train.

OOOOOOOOOOOO

Robert's heartrate did slow as soon as the train began moving, but what he really enjoyed was how relaxed Mary appeared as the train moved. As they finally approached Duneagle, she seemed to light up from within, smiling in a way his eldest hadn't done so in a long time.

It seemed he didn't need to worry about Mary as long as their holiday lasted, and that was a wonderful feeling.

OOOOOOOOOO

Climbing into this large bed by himself, on the other hand, was not wonderful. The whole day had passed, and Robert still had yet to apologize to Cora for her additude about Carlisle. It seemed there was always a reason why it was impossible, from Mama, to Mary, Shrimpie. It appeared Shrimpie was very excited about his stagging plans and spent the entire evening speaking to Robert about them.

A part of Robert wondered why he was bothering to sleep in this guest room, as pleasant as it was. It was decorated in a dark blue with whitish walls and all of his belongings were already hung in the wardrobe.

But he hated sleeping alone, and when was the last time he'd done so when they visited Duneagle? Cora's room was two doors down from his, and it was so much more inviting, in the red walls and whitish furniture coverings.

Normally, Cora would greet him with a soft smile as soon as he entered the room and place her comforting hands on him when he reached the bed. But would she do that tonight? For the past week, Cora had all but ignored him when he entered her room at Downton.

Naturally, she had every right do so, considering he'd been punishing her simply for being Cora. And that didn't even count his dishonorable behavior with Jane this past spring. But Robert couldn't bring himself to enter her room tonight.

Not when she would probably reject him again. Shrimpie had a big day of stagging planned tomorrow, anyway.

OOOOOOOOOOOO

Stagging was just the tonic Robert needed the next day. All that mattered was the deer, the gun, the Scottish landscape, and Shrimpie's quiet, dependable presence.

And when they returned for dinner, the table was filled with the voices of Susan, Mary, Edith, and even Rose, who was apparently old enough to eat dinner in the dining room now. A bagpiper also walked around the dining table, playing the traditional Scottish music. There was no room for his and Cora's insults and snapping comments they'd sometimes exchanged at Downton.

Naturally, there was also no opportunity for Robert to apologize.

After dinner, Shrimpie discussed plans to go stagging again over a couple of glasses of scotch over cigars. The conversation then continued once they joined the family in the drawing room. "The herd is different in the west field, Robert. They're flightier, so it's more of a challenge."

Taking a gulp of scotch, the warm liquid filling him with delight, Robert paused. Across the room, Cora sat elegantly in on the settee, speaking softly to Edith and Mama. She looked especially lovely tonight for some reason, especially in her blue gown.

Suddenly she looked up, almost as if she Robert gazing at her, and looked into his eyes for a moment. His heart skipped a beat as he stared into her blue orbs.

But then Robert quickly returned his attention to Shrimpie. "Stagging is one of the highlights of this holiday," he told the friendly man with a nod. He'd probably imagined the moment with Cora.

OOOOOOOOOOOOO

The dark blue room felt even more empty tonight. He longed for Cora's room in Downton, with it's soft blue walls and canopy bed.

He would have the chance to apologize by the time he returned, wouldn't he?

OOOOOOOOOOOOO

After another day of stagging, Robert and Shirmpie joined their extended family for dinner. The cook had baked venison from yesterday's catch, and it smelled delicious.

The bagpiper played in the background, while Rose said "This year, I am going to attend the Gillies Ball. Daddy said I was old enough, so I cannot wait!"

Robert stared across the table between Rose and Shrimpie in surprise. Was Rose truly old enough to attend the ball? In their last visit, she still wore knee length dresses and ate in the nursery. Naturally, she was now eating in the dining room, and wore proper evening gowns. The girl was almost eighteen.

Bristling, Robert swallowed a significant amount of wine. He didn't need to be reminded how old he was.

"Yes, he did," Cousin Susan said, staring at her husband in strange way. "I expect you to be on your best behavior for the ball, Rose." She turned to her daughter, seeming to be giving her a subtle lecture.

"Of course, Mummy," Rose said nonchalantly. Robert wondered if she appreciated her mother's words. "But I am ready to reel the night away!"

"I do so enjoy reeling as well," Mary said, her eyes sparkling as she exchanged smiles with her younger cousin. Robert wished he could enjoy how happy and relaxed his Mary appeared, once again.

But suddenly all he could think of was the Gillies Ball, full of servants and neighboring lords alike putting their hands on his Cora. Smelling her perfume, probably looking at her inappropriately, just like Carlisle had done. After all, she always looked gorgeous in her evening gowns for dancing.

Would Robert be able to dance with his wife at all? Or would he be stuck watching Cora smile and dance with other men, while he still had yet to find a time to apologize to her?

The venison abruptly had no taste.

OOOOOOOOOO

Puffing his cigar, Robert tried to relax as he inhaled the smoke, rather than picturing Cora dancing with other men at the ball. Far too quickly, the cigar was gone. For a moment, he considering asking for another, but Shrimpie had already stood, ready to join the others in the drawing room.

"Are you finished, Robert?" he said causally, his eyes moving from Robert to the door.

"Yes, quite," Robert said, standing up himself. Why did he dread entering the drawing room? He'd simply spend the rest of the evening with Shrimpie, just as he did the last two evenings. It shouldn't matter that Cora was also there.

And yet, as they came through the door, something very unexpected happened. Cora walked right to him and asked softly, "Why haven't you slept in my room the last two nights?"

Shocked and confused, Robert immediately said in a snappish voice, "Why would I do that?" She'd made it perfectly clear at Downton he wasn't truly wanted in her room.

As soon as Cora's face dropped, Robert felt horrid. He'd been searching for a way to apologize for the past couple of days, and instead he'd just made her feel worse. Ignoring Mama's inner lecture about public affection, he pulled his wife firmly into his arms. Cora had always preferred physical comfort.

"I'm sorry, Cora," he whispered into her dark, silky hair. "And not just about snapping at you just now. But about everything that has happened in this past week. I should never have become so cross with you for just being yourself."

Withdrawing a bit to look into his eyes, Cora said, "I don't think I've have behaved much like myself for the past week, but I appreciate the apology, all the same." She sighed, and her face dropped once again.

Desperate to see her smile, he stroked her smooth cheek with his knuckles, something that Cora usually loved. "Darling, it's all right," he said.

His heart swelled when she finally gave him a small smile and squeezed his shoulder a bit. "Thank you, Robert." He felt so much happier. In fact, Robert didn't even squirm internally about the disapproving glare Mama gave, or the curious expression on Rose's face.

OOOOOOOOOOO

Much later that night, after contently listening to the entire family discuss the Gillies Ball, Robert entered Cora's room in his nightclothes and dressing gown.

The red walls of this room weren't as familiar as Downton's blue walls, but Cora made it feel welcoming. His heart swelled again as he saw Cora, in her nightdress, with a smile on her face.

"I truly am sorry, Cora," he said again, wondering how many mistakes he would continue to make with this wonderful woman, and how lucky he was that she was so naturally forgiving. He picked up her hands and kissed both, enjoying the feeling of his lips on her skin.

"It's much easier to look forward to the Gillies Ball, now," he added with a soft chuckle as he sat on the bed. It was amazing how simple it was to return to their normal relationship again. Smiling and touching each other, and even teasing a little.

Cora's beautiful blue eyes danced as she giggled in return. "That's the main reason why I decided to speak to you tonight. I can never resist dancing with you, and with the way things were between us…"

Robert nodded, his heart lifting that they understood each other perfectly on this. They both truly were determined to repair their marriage. He took her hand again and gently pulled her onto the bed, as his heartrate increased.

But Cora sighed in reply, otherwise nor responding to his touch. Robert's heartrate decreased.

"This is what I meant downstairs when I said I wasn't behaving like me, Robert. You know I don't normally stay cross for long. Nor do I like fighting, especially with you." She shook her head, her face staring at her lap, as if she were ashamed of herself.

Robert admitted he was rather confused why his sweet Cora had been so…unforgiving recently, but that was no reason for her to be ashamed of herself. Not when he thought of his own mistakes. "Cora don't worry about that," he said softly, squeezing her hand.

"But that, the thing, Robert," Cora said, still staring at her lap, but also clutching his hand tightly. "I wasn't cross. Not really. I mean, I was at first…but as time wore on, I felt," she sighed. "Guilty. About what happened on the night of your birthday."

Nodding, Robert remembered their champagne induced intimacy, but that was still no reason for her to feel guilty. "Darling – " he began, trying to explain that he was just as responsible for that night as she was.

"No, Robert," Cora said in a rare firm voice. "I need to say this. I've been dreaming of…fixing that part of our marriage since I recovered from the flu, and I initiated a lot of it. But the way we did it that night…it wasn't the right way." She sighed. And now I'm worried it might take even longer." She sighed again. And again. "I'm not certain what…who…"

Who? Did Cora know what happened with Jane after all? Did she expect them to speak about it? He almost shook with fear at that prospect and his entire body tensed.

"My point is that I cannot… be with you in that way yet. And that makes me feel so…ashamed of being your wife. I'm not 'performing my duty.' At some point, their hands had let go of each other, and Robert immediately took hers again, hoping she would feel his love. "It was easier to ignore you in the bedroom, I suppose."

As relieved as he was that she didn't discuss Jane, Robert refused to let Cora blame herself. The mere idea that she was trying made him feel lower than a criminal. He could never make up for everything that he'd done wrong, but he could certainly make her less miserable.

Pulling her into his arms for the second time tonight, Robert held her firmly, determined that she would accept his comfort. Then he caressed her back softly, exactly the way she liked it. "Cora, it's not about duty. Not for us. And if you need time before you're ready, for whatever reason…" He knew exactly what the reason was, but if she wasn't going to address it, then neither was he.

"That's fine." He kissed her dark locks. "You should know that." He'd never take advantage of anyone, especially his Cora. Certainly, she knew that. Had they truly become so distant that she didn't?

An even more dreadful thought occurred to him. What if she thought he no longer loved her? If she did know what happened with Jane, she certainly would have reason to wonder. "I love you, Cora."

She froze. He hoped that was because of how rarely he said that so directly.

"I do know that Robert," Cora said into his chest, her breathe making him feel warm inside and outside. "It was just difficult to think about at the time."

* See Chapter two of "Not Exactly a Year."