It's Enough

Robert and Cora had a wonderful time at the Gillies' Ball, just as they always did. Unfortunately, there were no potential suitors for Edith there, as all the other dancers were either servants or too old. But Mary shined brightly, as she always loved reeling.

Robert wondered how much of Mary's brightness may have been because Carlisle was nowhere near Duneagle…

Meanwhile, he and Cora resumed sharing a bedroom, speaking of what happened during the day, and even exchanging little touches that warmed Robert's heart. But he didn't kiss her deeply or cover her neck with his lips, even when her neck looked particualarly smooth and inviting.

Cora had told him she wasn't comfortable with anything that would lead to…well, that, and so Robert knew he shouldn't do anything that might lead to that. And he would wait as long as she needed. He still wasn't certain she knew about Jane. As far as Robert was concerned, there was no way she could've known. But it sounded almost as if she might have…

Robert didn't want to think about it. The mere possiblity made him almost ill. But he was determined to give his Cora what she needed now. He just hoped it would be enough someday.

OOOOOOOOOOO

When they returned to Downton, Robert rang Murray, demanding that they find some way to release Bates. His word, money, and Carson's word had to be enough this time.

But instead, Murray placed another brick wall in Robert's way.

"I'm sorry, Lord Grantham, but the situation in Ireland is growing even more unstable than before. Since the official outlaw of the Irish parliament, there is a lot of…irrational people there, and Scotland Yard thinks there will be riots. It would be even easier than before for your servant to hide there."

Murray's voice sounded calm and sensible, but his words were completely unreasonable. "I don't need to hear more about how many irrational people in Ireland there are!" Robert shouted back into the telephone, as he struggled not to think about Sybil becoming caught in a riot. If she were hurt, there would be nothing he could do to help her, and that made his blood boil.

"And I cannot believe you still think Bates would run," Robert shouted at his solicitor, as he couldn't shout at Sybil.

"I am only telling you what Scotland Yard has told me, Lord Grantham," in a calm voice that didn't make Robert feel any less cross. "And the trial has been set. For just after Christmas. It may be better for your man, Bates to wait until then."

Robert slammed the down the telephone without even saying goodbye. It was completely improper behavior, and he could vaguely hear Mama's voice in his head, lecturing him about his poor manners. But that simply wasn't important to him right now. His blood continued to boil inside him, and every muscle felt tight.

Instead, he made his way to the library and saw Cora working on an embroidery. Her blue eyes met his as he stood next to her, making his blood cool just a bit. "I thought we could read Le Morte'd Arthur a bit early today?"

It was before luncheon. Ordinarily, Robert walked around the estate at this time, but he needed Cora more. No one soothed him better than her.

Cora nodded and immediately put her needlework aside, while he sat next to her, cooling his blood even more. He handed her the book and her gentle voice said, "'So after the feast and journey, King Arthur drew him unto London, and so by the counsel of Merlin, the king let call his barons to council,…" *

Robert's muscles relaxed at the sound of her voice.

OOOOOOOOOOO

The next morning, Robert listened to the sound of Mary and Edith bicker as he ate his breakfast. As soon as he finished, he excused himself, eager to see Cora again. There was no better way to begin his day than watching her calmly munch on her breakfast, while Robert discussed his plans.

He walked into the bedroom, just as Cora accepted her tray from O'Brien. Robert hid a grimace as Cora thanked the woman. But he couldn't hide the small sigh of relief when she finally left.

For a few moments, he simply smiled while she buttered her toast and sipped her tea. Sometimes quiet moments with her were the most valuable. Then he said causally, "I thought I would visit some of the tenants again today. Most of them have returned from the war, and I'd like to know how they are getting on. Isis loves a good walk around the estate, as well."

Pausing, Robert looked at her carefully as she popped a strawberry in her mouth. Would she be interested in going, too? She liked to walk around the estate, and they'd made a point of doing so together recently. But she didn't nod eagerly, nor did her eyes light up at the sound of his plans.

Instead, as she finished swallowing, Cora took a deep breath. "Robert, you know Sybil's birthday is in two weeks." He nodded, his heart aching that he couldn't give his youngest daughter a proper party or even give her a new piece of jewelry appropriate for her twenty – fourth year. Why did Cora need to remind him of this? Rather than calming him, Cora's voice made his muscles tense at the moment.

Cora pressed on with, "I think we should visit her to celebrate. It would be a much smaller occasion than her wedding, so no one would be uncomfortable –"

"No one would be uncomfortable?" Robert interrupted, as his blood began to boil as well. "I would be far too uncomfortable to see that wretched flat she calls a home! She chose to live there, but I cannot encourage it."

Huffing, Cora said, "Exactly, Robert. Our daughter chose to live there. There is nothing we can do but accept it. I think visiting her for her birthday would be a great way to start."

Robert shook his head violently, his blood continuing to boil with rage. "I have 'accepted it.' That doesn't mean I have any interest in going to Ireland. Especially not now. All my problems are coming from there, from Bates to Sybil. The government has finally outlawed their false parliament, and everyone agrees that will make things more tense and unsafe there. I won't bring you to a place like that." He ached to protect Sybil from all the troubles there, but she'd already made her choice. But he would protect his sweet Cora from it.

But Cora didn't look sweet right now. She appeared sour, although Robert knew she never ate lemons for breakfast. Her eyes narrowed into a look he'd seen a lot in the past few months. "Robert, the more you insist that Ireland is unsafe, the more I need to see Sybil again. I worry about her so much, and I see no reason why we should not celebrate her birthday together. And I wish you would stop placing the fate of your valet above your family."

Once again, Robert felt as if he was being hit by a brick wall. Only this one hurt far more than the one Murray placed in his way yesterday. Cora hit him with this one. And it hit. Straight in the heart.

"There is every reason, Cora! Her marriage is inappropriate, Ireland is unsafe, and I cannot watch her ruin her life." Even more rage boiled through him. "Every other man in my position would have disowned Sybil for her horrible decision, but I couldn't do that. No other man in my position would have considered allowing his other daughters attend the wedding, but it was so important to you, so I allowed that, too. And you still tell me that it's not enough. I also have to visit her in Ireland with her chauffeur husband!" He shook his head, even as he vaguely saw Cora shaking her head, too. "Well, I'm telling you now, Cora. It is enough!"

He slammed her door behind him, as she said something about being unreasonable. Unreasonable? She was the one with the foolish and irrational ideas. Perhaps they were fine in America, but not here.

At the moment, Isis was waiting for him. And Robert had tenants to see.

OOOOOOOOOOOO

Being short with tenants was something Robert should not do. They were responsible for farming the land, and he knew he owed all of them appreciation. But today, Robert shouted, snapped, and was generally discourteous. Isis barked less than he did.

"I apologize," he said to Mr. Jones as he left Oakwood Farm. "I should not have spoken to you in that manner."

Mr. Jones sighed and nodded. "Don't worry about it, milord."

Walking away, Robert wished he could feel as carefree as Isis, who wagged her tail everywhere they'd strolled. But the continued injustice toward Bates and Cora's unreasonable suggestion from this morning weighed too heavily on his mind. The worst part was that Robert truly wished to protect his naïve wife from the dangers of Ireland, and she was cross at him for it.

Fuming again, despite Isis cheerful presence, Robert wondered if it might be too much.

OOOOOOOOOOOO

After returning Isis, Robert immediately took a train to York. He desperately wished he could release Bates from jail, but if he couldn't, he could at least see his friend. Especially as Cora was so unreasonable today. Not only with Sybil and Ireland, but with Bates, too. How could Cora think he placed his valet above his family?

The prison at York still looked formidable, and it made Robert even more cross as he approached it. It still bared no resemblance to the Tower of London, no matter what their goal. But most importantly, Bates did not deserve to be locked inside it.

Robert shook his head, his blood still boiling as he saw his friend sit down across from him. Bates still appeared old and worn and his hair was just as unkempt as last time. Bust worst of all was the foolish grey outfit he was forced to wear. "I'm sorry, Bates. I don't understand why you are still stuck in here. I've done everything I can to bail you out, but" Robert almost growled the last words, "they still refuse."

Bates sighed. "I appreciate the effort, milord. But could we focus on other things for the moment? Anna tells me you have just returned from a holiday."

"Quite," Robert said with a nod, smiling a bit at the memories of Duneagle, despite how cross he was today. "Lord Flintshire has a wonderful spread for stalking deer. And everyone in our family enjoys the Gillies' Ball. Lady Mary seemed particularly happy this year." Robert didn't mention how enjoyable it was to reel with Cora. To hold her hands with no one judging them and to smell his wife's perfume as she touched him. None of that mattered now that Cora was being so unreasonable.

But Bates listened to Robert's causal ramblings just as he would if they were back at Downton or spending a night in London. Or even on a holiday like Duneagle. Nodding, he said, "I am pleased to hear it, milord."

Once again, Robert fumed, and his mouth tightened. Why couldn't Bates have come with them to Duneagle, just as he had before? "I do wish you could have come, too. I truly thought you would be free by now, or at least on bail."

Bates shook his head, barely looking at Robert. "I'm sorry, milord. But it seems the evidence is stacked against me."

Robert huffed, not wishing to hear the same thing he'd heard from Murray and Scotland Yard from Bates' mouth. "Don't accept defeat, Bates. I hear they've set your trial for directly after Christmas. We will set you free then. Think of how wonderful it will be to leave this place at that point." Despite his foul mood, Robert let himself daydream what a wonderful New Year's party it would be when Bates had finally returned to Downton.

Bates nodded, as if he could see Robert's daydreams himself. "I cannot deny that has a significant appeal, milord. Especially concerning Anna. She sees me regularly on her half day, and Lady Mary has brought her an extra time, which I am grateful, but to hold her in my arms…" His voice trailed off, as if he were lost in memories of holding his new wife.

Robert looked away, caught between intruding on a private moment and wishing he still felt that with Cora.

After a moment, Bates's voice said, "Anyway, I can tolerate another few months here, milord, or even longer, as long as I know Anna is all right."

Robert forced himself to see Bate's again, trying to downplay all the complicated emotions swimming inside him. It was easier as the other man no longer displayed the intense longing to hold his wife. Bates always knew what made Robert too uncomfortable. "I promise you that Anna is fine at Downton."

Bates nodded, suddenly appearing less worn, even though his hair was still unkempt. "Thank you for looking out for her, milord. I know I don't deserve a woman like her, but if we could have a life together…no matter what happens, it would be a dream come true."

Robert didn't say anything in reply. Naturally, his valet had no idea how uncomfortable that statement was. He had no idea that Robert had once thought the same thing when he first realized he loved Cora. And, again when Cora recovered from Spanish flu.

But now, there seemed to be no end to the nightmare that was Robert's marriage. Every time he thought there was an improvement, something else would happen that would show how wrong he was. It made him feel empty.

OOOOOOOOOOOO

Riding back to Downton was refreshing, especially with a customary drink on the train. With every swallow of his scotch, Robert wondered if he'd dismissed Bates comments too quickly. His friend was wrongfully imprisoned, but Bates didn't complain about his lack of freedom, or that ghastly prison uniform he was forced to wear. He didn't even mention how unfair it was to be in that place.

Instead, Bates still worried about his wife and longed to share his life with Anna. Could Robert ever hope to have similar dreams with Cora again?

Just last week, he'd told Cora he still loved her despite everything, fearful that with all their struggles, she may not know that. He'd held her in his arms, just as Bates dreamed of doing with Anna, and Robert's heart had been full. She'd been more than he'd ever dreamed of in a wife.

Cora had made Robert extremely cross this morning with her unreasonable suggestion of visiting Sybil in Ireland. And he'd thought by now she'd have more respect for his strong friendship with Bates, but…perhaps she was still Cora. She was still that extremely humble woman who thought it might be her fault that she couldn't be intimate with him yet. And just yesterday, she'd soothed him with her voice and her presence without even asking why he needed her to do so. Certainly, that woman hadn't disappeared in one day.

As the train pulled into the Downton Village station, Robert resolved to work on their relationship again. Cora would always be enough for him. Someday, she'd make his heart full again.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

OOOOOOOO

Cora was more than happy not to see Robert today, after the way he spoke to her while she ate her breakfast. He was being completely unreasonable, implying that their Sybil had done something wrong when she chose to marry someone unusual. What was even worse was that Robert said Cora simple suggestion that the two of them visit Sybil for her birthday, was unreasonable.

Cora had believed that she'd forgiven Robert for his additude about Sybil after she'd received Sybil's letter about her wedding, as her daughter explained that Branson's relatives were glad that Robert hadn't come to the ceremony. She was even more impressed when Robert had admitted how many people, he'd tried to ask to escort Mary and Edith to Sybil's wedding, just so their Sybil could have some family with her. But today, hot righteous anger filled Cora's entire body about the wedding she'd missed, the daughter she still longed to see, and her husband's constant pushing Sybil away from her parents for the past few months.

"I'm sorry, milady," O'Brien said suddenly, interrupting Cora's fuming as the maid fixed her hair. "I didn't mean to prick you."

Apparently, Cora was so uncharacteristically tense that she didn't even notice when her maid pricked her with a hairpin. "Don't worry about it, O'Brien," Cora said with a smile. After all, there was no reason to take her extreme irritation out on her wonderful maid.

Especially as Cora hadn't felt the prick at all. And what of Sybil? Certainly, her youngest daughter faced far more than hairpin pricks. Was overwhelmed by all the difficult chores she was now forced to perform? Did she burn herself on the stove or eat undercooked meals? And Robert had mentioned that Ireland was even more dangerous lately, and that there may be riots.

Terrified images of her baby stuck in the middle of angry mobs flashed through Cora's head. Sybil would write if something truly bad happened to her, certainly. Of course, she would. But Cora still ached to see her, smiling and happy again. To hold Sybil in her arms one more time, knowing that she would be able to keep her safe.

Why couldn't Robert understand Sybil's safety was the more important than anything? As her father, couldn't he see that? Cora fumed again at his extreme narrow – mindedness and stubbornness.

"All done milady," O'Brien said cheerfully, once again interrupting Cora's frustrations and worries.

Cora glanced at the mirror, noticing that her hair looked perfectly appropriate, as always. "Thank you, O'Brien," she said with a nod. The loyal maid left with a smile. Standing up, Cora prepared to go downstairs. She refused to spend all day in her bedroom crying, as she had the last time, she and Robert had a similar argument.

Especially as she didn't feel like crying. She was cross, not upset. And it was all directed at Robert.

OOOOOOOOOOO

Relieved that Robert did not show for luncheon, Cora focused her attention on her other two daughters. Mary decided to go riding this afternoon, and as much as Cora wished Mary would plan for a visit to Haxby with Sir Richard, there was nothing wrong with her riding. It was an activity Mary enjoyed and did very well.

"I wish other members of this family would ride more often," Mary said as she discussed her plans. "There is no way for you to improve if you do not practice." The subtle insult toward Cora and Edith was obvious, especially with the glance Mary gave both, but Cora tried not to let it bother her. She'd had more than enough practice on those type of insults from Mama. Besides, Cora's mind was too full of worries about Sybil today.

Instead, she took a sip of tea, letting the warm drink fill her body, hoping it would calm her a bit.

"There are plenty of other things I can do besides riding," Edith said, with a slight whine to her voice. "Such as the piano. I may practice that today."

Cora brightened. Perhaps listening to Edith's piano would eliminate some of her tension. Naturally the only true way to eliminate all of it was to see Sybil, but that wouldn't happen. Thanks to Robert's extreme stubbornness and narrow – mindedness.

OOOOOOOOOOOO

Edith's soothing music in the drawing room did help Cora focus on something other than her longing to see her daughter, and the terrible images of Sybil hurt in her head. It even decreased some of her rage directed at Robert.

Perhaps he had a point, when Robert had shouted that he'd responded to Sybil's decision better than any other man in his position. Cora had loved that he'd given Sybil and Branson his blessing before they'd left, which allowed their family to correspond with her without trouble. And it had been even more wonderful that Robert arranged for Mary and Edith to attend Sybil's wedding. Would any other titled man consider doing the same thing, or did those decisions come from Robert's extreme loyalty to his family?

Cora tensed again, despite Edith's soothing music filling her ears. More anger directed at Robert filled her. If he thought Cora would accept never seeing Sybil again, no matter what her choices or Robert's beliefs, he was completely wrong. Sybil was her baby and that would always be enough of a reason to see her.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Robert arrived home just before dinner, standing in the Great Hall as if nothing were wrong. "Hello, Cora," he said with a smile. "That blouse is beautiful one you."

Glancing down at her cream – colored blouse, she wondered why he would say that. It wasn't red or blue, which he often said suited her best. Nor was the cut particularly fancy, as she wasn't entertaining or doing charity work today. But it didn't matter, because Cora was still cross at Robert and wanted nothing to do with him.

"I have to change for dinner," she said, trying to rise above her anger.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Robert spent most of dinner speaking to Mary, about riding and about Bates' situation. Cora stayed quiet, eating her ham, and drinking her wine, trying to rise above her anger.

Despite how cross she was at Robert now; Cora knew she would always love him. She'd spent thirty years married to him and could imagine loving anyone else. No matter what he said or did, he was still her Robert.

OOOOOOOOOOO

And Robert made it clear to her that she was still his Cora. As soon as he entered the drawing room after dinner, his blue eyes met hers with a special smile. Then he approached her and whispered, "You are all right, aren't you?" His breathe tickled her neck in a way that both delighted and irritated her simultaneously.

He waited a moment for her to answer, but then grew inpatient and wandered away.

Naturally, Cora was not all right at all. Not if she couldn't visit Sybil on her birthday just because of Robert's stubbornness and narrowmindedness. But then, it was easy for Cora to think that, as her daughters would always come before herself. But her Robert was a protective man and believed he must shield Cora just as much as their daughters, whether she truly needed it or not.

He'd shouted as much this morning, about why they wouldn't go to Ireland now. Perhaps asking him to choose between Sybil and Cora was a bit unfair. She still remembered how it tore her heart in two when she was forced to decide between Sybil and Robert for Sybil's wedding.

As her thoughts focused on Robert, he smiled at her again.

Instead of visiting, Cora would make Sybil another embroidered handkerchief for her birthday, considering how much her daughter had appreciated the last one. That way, her baby would still know Cora was thinking of her on her birthday, even if she would rather see her in person.

But her arms still ached to hold her baby and make certain she was well. She couldn't stop herself from glaring at Robert again, who was standing next to the fireplace, and softly patting Isis.

Studying Robert's tall form from across the room, she reminded herself that even though he looked and tried to act strong, truly he fumbled with change as it usually overwhelmed him. Sybil's decision to marry Branson and move to Ireland was obviously something he still struggled to accept. He would need Cora's help if she wished to see Sybil again, and that wouldn't happen if Cora kept pushing him away.

Taking a deep breathe she walked carefully to Robert, who immediately flashed her another smile. When she stood next to him, she finally answered his question. "I will be all right."

Because she would be. She would forgive Robert for his current behavior eventually, and someday, she would allow Sybil and Robert to be close again. They were father and daughter, after all, and they loved each other, despite their anger and very different values right now.

And that would be enough for their family to be whole again.

*Le Morte d'Arthur by Thomas Mallory. Book I, chapter X. The Project Gutenberg ebook files.