Originally written in December 2006
DISCLAIMER: The title was borrowed from an album by U2. This is a work of fiction.

Nuzzling against Shawn's neck, Hunter enjoyed the silence that had fallen between them. It was just the two of them, which was something they had both craved all day. Their chance to escape the watchful eyes of everyone. In moments like these, Hunter didn't give a damn what others might think. All that mattered was right there, curled up in his arms.

Pulling Shawn closer, he suddenly felt the other man shift from his embrace so that they were now facing each other. There was something in those blue eyes that were looking at him so intently which he always dreaded and already told him what was coming.

Shawn spoke quietly, almost distant, as if it wasn't the two of them he was talking about.

"We can't keep doing this…"

"I know."

They had this conversation before. And, just like before, both of them knew it wouldn't change anything. And yet they fell back into the same pattern.

"I mean it."

"I know you do."

And Hunter also knew that Shawn was right, but he couldn't even bring himself to let go of the other man's hand.

Shawn sank back into the pillows with a silent sigh, his gaze fixed on the ceiling. Out of the corner of his eye, he could still see Hunter watching him. He would always get lost in those hazel eyes, no matter how hard he tried to convince himself he wouldn't. It was wrong, and yet at the same time so right.

He would probably burn in hell one day. What they were doing was against everything he believed in now. But it was easy to forget all of that when he was with Hunter. His friend had held a part of his heart for so long, no matter how much of a sinner that supposedly meant he was, that it made all these things he was told seem unimportant.

Hunter gently brushed a strand of hair out of Shawn's face, the motion accompanied by softly spoken words in that tone of Hunter's voice reserved only for him.

"What are you thinking about?"

Shawn shrugged. "Nothing. Everything. Does it matter?"

Hunter hated when Shawn got like this. And he also hated that he was the reason for it. Well, they both were. How many times had they already called off this thing between them, and yet they always kept running back to each other? Shawn had that power over him and he over Shawn. It was like breathing. They just couldn't fight it.

By now he figured they didn't even want to. Talks like the one right now were just that. Talks. Just words. That was all they ever would be. They wouldn't change a thing.

He glanced over to the two wedding bands on the bedside table. Maybe that was where they went wrong. They both went for second best because they had not been able to own up to what they really wanted. Now all they had left was this. Stolen moments every other night on the road that would never be enough.

Shawn knew too well what Hunter was thinking about. It was written all over his face. God, why did he have to continually bring this up during the little time they had? It was like he had to constantly remind himself that both of them had others to think of. Wife and kids, a life they couldn't just leave behind. Maybe because he knew he would fall too deep if he didn't. At the same time he also knew he was only fooling himself. He had already fallen way too deep and fast a long time ago.

He reached out to caress Hunter's cheek. "I'm sorry."

Hunter started to smile slightly, kissing Shawn's fingertips. "You're not. But that's okay. It doesn't matter."

He leaned back down and nuzzled Shawn's neck again, like before, feeling him relax back into his embrace. Hunter did not fail to notice the faint smile that was now mirroring his own and still playing on Shawn's lips as he drifted off to sleep in Hunter's arms.

It really didn't matter. At least not for tonight.