Anderson had an ancient clunker of a car that had had to be modified to meet the self-driving highway standards, so of course he didn't ever have them on when it wasn't required.

Which meant that Gavin and Tina spent the ride introducing Connor to the age old game 'Annoy the Shit Out of the Driver'. Hank made it really, really easy.

It was his own fault for cramming the three of them in the back, insisting that Connor sit with his 'birthday guests.' He was probably just hoping to delay the constant stream of fish facts that they all knew was going to start any second now.

"This is the song that never ends, it goes-"

"It's the song that's ending right fucking now, or the three of you can walk the rest of the way to the Waffle Warp, I swear to God." Huh. That was the second time through once Connor had the lyrics down, so longer than Gavin had been expecting really.

"Loosen up, it's an important cultural milestone, Hanky." Tina said it lightly, while looking critically at her fingernails, and Gavin was impressed.

"Hanky? Did you just call me-like the thing you blow your nose in?" Hank's voice rose, fingers tightening on the steering wheel.

"That's disgusting." Connor's nose wrinkled.

"I'm not the one who said it, Connor, tell your little friend." The radio switched on, some heavy metal station millennials who could only express pain through art listened to (and they thought they weren't repressed as shit), Hank trying to tune them all out.

"Tina, that's disgusting."

"Technically, Hank is the one who took it there. And right before we eat, too."

Gavin cackled as Tina's words reminded him of a story, "So, Ben told me when he and And-"

"One more word, Reed, and I'll be telling Fowler what really happened in April." Yeah, Hank was easy, but he played damned dirty. Gavin scowled at the back of Anderson's mop of hair. Bastard.

Then he grinned. "Word." The heavy sigh from up front warmed his twisted little heart.

Gavin had almost forgotten about his joke. Honestly, he was too busy thinking about whether he was going to get a biscuit sandwich or a waffle sandwich, or maybe a savory waffle stack for it to be anywhere but the back of his mind.

So when Connor glared at him over his menu and loudly declared, "They do not have blue waffles here, Gavin, nor any waffles made with thirium," voice indignant, he could only gape while Tina cackled next to him.

"...Uh, but it says they got a syrup made out of it, see…" he pointed at the menu, avoiding Hank's reddening face.

"Dammit, Gavin! When you teach him that shit, I have to explain it!"

"Explain what?" Connor's LED went solid yellow, Tina covered her eyes as if she could see inside Connor's mind and Gavin yelped.

"Don't search it, Robocop, don't search it!" He had perhaps not thought this joke through...Connor might have been created as a fully grown android, but this was a first activation day party and shit…

Connor's gaze remained fixed in the distance, a sure sign that he had not listened to Gavin and had searched for 'blue waffles'. Dammit. Hank sighed like the weight of the world was on his shoulders. "It was bad enough when he wore the suspenders and you called him a twink. We had to have a talk about sexuality." Gavin cackled.

Nevermind. This was the best thing he'd ever done.

Uh, not counting that last red ice bust. Maybe.

"But that body part looks nothing like waffles. Though, I can see why it would be concerning if it were to turn blue…" Connor mused loudly as he came out of search mode, the mother at the table nearest them glaring while her teenagers snickered.

Best. Thing. He'd. Ever. Done.

"Alright, you greedy bastards, it's Connor's birthday, he gets to choose dessert." Hank didn't have his Lieutenant face on, but close enough as he pulled the menu away from Tina and Gavin and handed it to Connor. Who gave them both a smug, 'that's what you get' look before burying his face in it.

Fucker.

Kid was coming along nicely.

"Hmmm. I believe we will have the Caramel Apple Delight pull-apart bread. It is meant to be shared and you can add a scoop of ice cream for a dollar and fifty cents."

"We should add four scoops of ice cream. Since there are four of us," Tina suggested, looking perfectly reasonable to the point that Connor started nodding along even as Hank scoffed. Gavin considered his already too full stomach, and thought that sounded like a perfect idea.

"Are you gonna pay for it, Chen?"

Tina, ever classy, chirped a satisfied, "Sure, glad to chip in on Connor's birthday," leaving Hank to stare at her in befuddlement for a second, before finally subsiding with a grumble.

"Whatever...I thought you were lactose intolerant?"

"I just told Collins that so he quit trying to give me milk tea whenever he thought I was upset." Tina shrugged. Hank barked out a laugh.

"Fowler gets non-dairy creamer for the break room because you didn't want to drink a cup of Collins 'go to, it always cheers me right up,' tea? You know if that ever gets out he's gonna blow a gasket." The older man shook his head, laughing again, before flagging down their waiter. "Yeah, can we get an order of the Apple Something pull-apart bread? And is it big enough to put four scoops of ice cream on it or are these jokers as crazy as they think they are?" The waiter blinked, Gavin guessing he hadn't heard that one before even in this diabetes factory.

"Um, it is pretty big, but I think it might get soggy with that much ice cream on it? But maybe if you ate it fast it wouldn't matter?"

Tina smacked her hand resoundingly on the table and declared, "We are fast eaters. We are super fast eaters and that ice cream won't know what hit it. We accept this challenge!" Gavin gave a particularly shit eating smirk to the now concerned looking waiter-he was on his best behavior today, under threat of Tina, but if she got to fuck with people so did he.

"Hey, you guys do birthday sing-alongs?" Connor's entire face turned blue, like the greedy kid from Charlie and the Chocolate factory, and a noise halfway between a croak and the sound his old computer made if he forgot to clean out the cat hair came out of him.

"Reed…" Hank warned, but Gavin could see him fighting a grin.

"Fuck, what? It's part of the birthday at a restaurant experience, I don't want Connor to miss out." He let his smirk grow wider as Connor gave him a glare that could have cut glass-possibly literally.

"I do not require any sort of serenade." Each word was pronounced with precision, and Gavin had no doubt that Connor was imagining shoving his face in the apple whatever.

"What about a birthday hat?" Tina asked, picture perfect serious. "I just happen to have one in my purse…" As she started fiddling around inside it, Connor sent a desperate, 'what is happening' look at Hank, who shrugged at him.

"You're the one who wanted to invite them, Connor. Don't know what you expected."