Chapter 5

"Mend Your Soul"

It was past midnight. The apartment was so quiet as all of the occupants fell asleep. Ben was sleeping next to his dad when his eyes were suddenly shot open and he experienced shortness of breath. This was the third time this week he was awoken in the middle of the night by a nightmare. No one, not even his dad knew about this.

He'd usually cried himself to sleep with his dad laying next to him, sleeping peacefully, completely oblivious about the nightmares he had been having. Tonight, however, he heard footsteps coming from outside the room and he immediately knew who it was.

He slowly and carefully climbed out from his bed, not wanting to wake him up, and walked toward the source of the noises.

"Ben, what are you doing here?" Rachel asked as she was about to enter her room and saw Ben standing in the hallway.

"Can I sleep with you?" The boy asked timidly.

Whenever Ben had a bad dream, his moms usually let him sleep in between them at night. Only by then his nightmare would disappear and he was finally able to sleep soundly. But now, he had no mom to comfort him whenever he was having a bad dream. True, his dad was there, but with Ross it wasn't the same. Ben had tried to snuggle closer to Ross the first time the nightmare occurred, but it didn't help. He couldn't go back to sleep.

And since that day in the park, he felt a strange and yet familiar attachment to Rachel. As his sister's mom, part of his would like to believe that she was his mom too. The comfort she gave him during that day was so calming, it felt so safe, and familiar.

Rachel was unsure how to react to the boy's request at first. Back then when Ben was so little and she was still dating Ross, there were times when she'd fall asleep next to Ben whenever she was around to help Ross taking care of Ben. During that one year she dated Ross, she couldn't deny that she felt an attachment toward the boy. She loved him. She could even imagine herself being Ben's step mom after she'd marry Ross. But then the break up happened and all her dreams and fantasies were scattered into pieces.

Even though she wasn't sure if she still could be Ben's step mom anymore, she was sure no matter what happened, she still loved him.

"Okay." She smiled.

Ben smiled before following her into the bedroom.

That night, he slept like a baby. The scent coming out from Rachel's and the warmth radiating from her body gave him a sense of calmness and comfort. The boy wasn't sure if he was allowed to feel this way since Rachel wasn't his step-mom and she wasn't even his dad's girlfriend at the time.

But whatever was that, the attachment he felt toward Rachel was indeed bigger than he could ever anticipated. He couldn't help but wished for his dad and Rachel to get back together and got married, so that she could officially become his step mom.

He smiled in his sleep as he dreamed about them together as a real family. It was a perfect dream and probably if the two grownups would just stop being so stubborn and stupid, they could make the dream came true.

As Rachel watched Ben fall asleep next to her, she brushed the boy's blonde hair gently and carefully as she whispered him a good night, "Good night, Ben.."

And with that, she fell asleep with a smile on her face, knowing that she was sure she still shared the same feelings for him as she used to, years ago.

Love.

The next morning Rachel woke up and found her room empty. Knowing it was most likely Ross who was taking care of the kids, she took her time and did a few stretching before coming out from her room.

"Should we wake Aunt Rachel up?" Rachel heard Ben asked as she slowly entered the kitchen.

Noticing Rachel's presence, Ross let out a smile.

"It looks like we didn't have to." Ross started. "Look who's finally awake."

Ben turned his body toward the direction of the swinging door and smiled widely, "Aunt Rachel!" He greeted her. "Daddy is going to take us to the Aquarium. You're still coming, right?" He asked hopefully.

"Good morning you guys." Rachel started. "And of course, I'm coming. Wouldn't miss it for the world."

Ben smiled brightly.

"Alright, then let's go get ready." Ross started. "We're leaving in an hour and a half."

The family of four was strolling inside the Aquarium, stopping every few now and then as they watched tons of sea creatures swimming before them through the thick glass. Ross and Rachel were walking in the back as Ross pushed Emma's stroller and Ben led their way.

Ben was so excited about this trip, he couldn't stop bombarding his dad with questions about sea creatures. His bright smile never left his face the whole time, making Ross happy too.

"Woaaa!!" The boy exclaimed as they walked past a giant Manta Rays. "You see that, dad?" He began as he basically shoved his face into the thick glass. "It's so hugeeee."

Ross chuckled at the boy's enthusiasm. "That's Manta Rays. Giant manta rays are the largest rays in the world with wingspans up to 29 feet wide." He explained and Rachel listened to his explanation attentively.

"Woaa!! That's so cool!!" Ben commented ecstatically.

"And I thought you only know stuff about dinosaurs." Rachel blurted out as they watched Ben already got hooked into a smack of jellyfish in a large led illuminated tube tank.

"Well, maybe you would've known if you watched the documentaries with me instead of mocking me for it." He said, referring to the times when she had seen him watch the Discovery Channel almost every night, and she had to mock him just for fun.

Though she did admire his knowledge about a lot of stuff and how he cared about it, she didn't want to let him know. She just loved the idea of teasing him.

"That's not entirely true." She began. "You already made me watch tons of it during the time I was pregnant with Emma, remember?" She started and he smiled as he remembered those days.

Those days, even though it was only a few months ago, it was much simpler than this. The proposal fiasco hadn't happened yet. They were as close as ever, none of them were in a relationship, and there were times when they had their 'almosts'. There were numerous times when they would find themselves caught in their infamous stares, but before something could happen, one of them usually broke their moment off and shoved their feelings inside, not wanting to let it out.

He was having trouble controlling his feelings whenever he saw her with her ever growing bumps, knowing that she was carrying their child inside her. Ever since she was pregnant and lived together with him, his old feelings were coming back up, just waiting for it to explode. His heart would beat out of control every time he saw her and it made him want to kiss her here and there, sparking things between them again.

It was one thing seeing your ex-girlfriend everyday as your roommates and it was another thing when you knew that your ex was carrying your child inside of her. It was excruciating and very painful for him not being able to show her how much he loved her just because his fears were holding him back. And thanks to his fears, he lost her again.

"... And now that Emma is out of me, there's no way you're going to force me watching that again." She continued, breaking him up from his short reverie.

He chuckled and shook his head, "Well, it's your loss." He replied playfully.

As the family of four continued their journey inside the Aquarium, they stopped and sat at a bench whilst Rachel was giving Emma a bottle of milk. Ben was there beside them, wanting to be as helpful as he could. Rachel and Ross had to exchange a warm smile as they saw Ben insisted to feed his baby sister all by himself.

"Excuse me." An old couple said to Ross. "Can you please take a picture of us?"

Ross smiled and nodded. "Sure."

Ross took a few pictures of the elderly couple with their digital camera before giving the camera back to them. "Here you go."

"Thank you." Noticing the family of four, the old man offered. "We can take a picture of you too if you want."

Ross smiled, knowing that it would be their first family picture together. "Thank you." He said before handing his camera.

Rachel took Emma in her arms, Ross stood beside her as he casually encircled her waist with his arm, and Ben was standing in front of them. All of them were smiling brightly at the camera.

The family of four looked so happy and perfect. It made the elderly couple smile. It reminded them of themselves back then when they were younger and just started their own family. Though neither of them never would've known, it wasn't the same case with this family.

"Thank you." Ross said as the old man gave him his camera back.

"You have such a lovely family. You're so lucky." His wife commented.

Ross couldn't help but smiled under her praise. He was indeed lucky to have them as a family, though he was hoping the circumstances were different.

Instead of correcting the old couple, he took a glance at his family and then he smiled. "I really am. Thank you."

After they spent their entire day at the Aquarium, both of the kids were tired and exhausted. Emma was already sleeping in her crib, whilst Ben was brushing his teeth with his eyes half-closed and Ross was by his side.

"Alright, now let's go get some sleep." Ross said as he turned the bathroom's lights off.

Not long after, Ben fell asleep just after a few seconds he laid his head into his pillow. Their family trip did drain his entire energy.

After making sure Ben was asleep, he tucked his son in, and then Ross went into the living room to grade some papers.

"You're not sleeping?" A soft and small voice, almost like a whisper startled Ross.

He turned his face and found her half-asleep, standing in between the living room and the kitchen door.

He smiled. "I have to finish this by today." He said as he showed her some papers he was holding.

"Need help?" She offered as she joined him on the couch.

He raised his eyebrows, amused. "Do you even know anything about dinosaurs?" He asked. She was about to answer his questions, but he preceded her. "Except for the things you learned from watching Jurassic Park."

"Well, no." She replied. "But I can always mark them all with a bunch of Bs."

He shook his head and chuckled. Though it was a tempting offer, he had to refuse. It wasn't fair for his other students. "Well, thank you for your offer. But I'm fine." He smiled.

She reciprocated his smile. "Okay, then." She began as she stood up. "I'm gonna try to get sleep again. I'm so tired."

He smiled and nodded. But before she could leave the room, he called her.

"Hey, Rach."

She turned her body around to face him, "Hmm?"

"I saw you with Ben last night." He started and she smiled. "I don't know why he did that, but thank you."

After seeing Ben with Rachel that night, he couldn't stop thinking about her, about their future.

There was a war happening inside him between his heart and his head. His heart was telling him to declare his love for her as he was supposed to do back then when Emma was born, but his head sent multiple warnings, telling him it wasn't the right thing to do. That they were happier this way, that now their stake was much higher so that they couldn't risk it.

But after that night, his heart was slowly but surely winning the war inside him. Times like this when they would find themselves awake in the middle of the night at the same time, having small talks, or sometimes when she rested her head into his shoulder were the times when his heart would start to beat uncontrollably. Those were the times when his pounding heart and the butterflies in his stomach kept reminding him how deeply in love he was with her.

"But I'll make sure to talk to him and make sure he's not going to do that again." Ross added.

Ross was sure about his feelings toward Rachel, but the least thing he wanted was for Rachel to be bothered or burdened by his problems and violated her personal space at the same time.

"It's okay, Ross. You don't have to do that." She smiled reassuringly as she started. "I'm okay with that."

"But still, I couldn't do that to-" His words were cut short by her.

"It's okay, Ross." She repeated. "Ben had gone through a lot already. If being with me can help him even just a little, I'll be more than glad to help."

Ross' face was plastered with a warm and thankful smile. He was in awe with how big her heart was. It was one of the biggest reasons he fell in love with her. She had this warm and big heart, something some people failed to notice since they were too busy judging her only by her look. Ben wasn't even her own son, but yet she was so caring and concerned about him just like she did with Emma and it made him so grateful for her. How was that even possible for him not to fall in love with her harder when she was so kind with his son?

The answer was he couldn't. He was falling in love with her, deeply and dangerously faster than ever this time.

"Thank you." He murmured and she smiled.

"Good night, Ross." She whispered and went to her room.

"Good night, Rachel.." He whispered softly.

For the next few weeks, Rachel sometimes would've found herself sleeping next to Ben whenever she woke up in the middle of the night. The frequency, however, decreased by the time. At first, she would find him there almost every night, then it only happened every few days, and now, the last time she found him asleep next to her was a week ago.

His nightmares miraculously stopped occurring for the whole week. Ben was much happier than he was before, Ross couldn't help but notice the changes in his son. Ross was curious of the reason why Ben would sneak in the middle of the night and sleep next to Rachel, but he thought it was only because maybe the boy missed his moms so much and Rachel was the only person who could give him the comfort. And after the talk he had with Rachel that night, he decided not to question the boy. After all, Rachel was right, Ben had been through a lot this year and as a father he was only glad that his son was doing better each day.

It had been a few days since Rachel started going to work. After a few failures, Ross and Rachel finally found the perfect nanny for taking care of their kids whilst they were working, Molly. Tonight, Ross was working late, so it was Rachel's turn to put the kids into bed. Ben was still sitting in the living room, watching some TV whilst Rachel put Emma to sleep in her room.

She cradled her baby daughter in her arms as she sang her a lullaby. After a while, Emma fell asleep and Rachel carefully put the baby in her crib and planted a soft kiss on her forehead.

"Good night, baby girl." She whispered. "Mommy loves you so much."

She then walked into the living room and found Ben already half-asleep as he waited for his turn to be tucked in. She chuckled and shook her head. Though many people said that Ben looked exactly just like Carol, Rachel strangely thought otherwise. Ben was definitely Ross' judging by the way the boy ate, talked, or the way he would open his mouth slightly when he fell asleep. It was something she had learnt from spending her nights staring at Ross who was fast asleep next to her, back then when they were dating.

Just like his daddy. Rachel thought.

She slowly approached the boy and tapped his shoulder gently, "Come on, Ben. Let's go to sleep."

Ben's eyes slowly opened and he smiled, "Okay."

Together, they went into Ross' room. Ben quickly climbed on the bed and Rachel pulled his blanket over him and tucked him in.

She gave him a soft kiss on his forehead just like she gave Emma before. "Good night, Ben."

Ben smiled. "Good night, Aunt Rachel." He mumbled, already giving up on his fatigue. "I love you." Ben whispered as he began to fall deep into his slumber.

It was her first time hearing Ben said those three words to her and hearing it warmed her heart. It instantly put a huge smile on her face.

Rachel smiled and brushed his blonde hair gently, "I love you too, Ben.." She whispered.

Here was the thing about love. It didn't have to be shared between lovers romantically. It could be shared between friends, siblings, family, or in this case it was a motherly love shared between a woman and a little boy. The bond these two shared were much stronger each day as they spent their days together and as she helped him got through his nightmares.

The love she gave to the little boy, slowly healed and mend his soul. His nightmares were disappearing, he felt safe, he felt protected, he felt comfort, and he felt her love for him. Something he had been jealous of his younger sister before. He had it now and he wished it could stay like this forever.

After all, the saying was indeed true. Love did heal and mend your soul.

Sorry for the delay. Actually I've had written most of the story, but I need to edit it here and there, that's what took it so long.

I also want to thank you for all the positive reviews I've been receiving for this story. Please don't hesitate to write honest reviews or suggestions.

Anyway, there will be more RR's interaction in the upcoming chapters, so please be patient :)