Chapter 6

"Where We Belong"

Note :The conversations written in italic were the conversations they had in the past.

October 18th, 2002

Rachel was in the midst of a talk with her new coworker as she slowly lost in her thoughts. She couldn't care less with what the man said to her, her mind was elsewhere. She was so happy for some reason lately. It wasn't because she had just nailed a presentation in front of her boss nor because she had just solved a huge misunderstanding between her office and one of their manufacturers. It was because lately her life was such a bliss, she had to pinch herself just to make sure it wasn't a dream.

As they fell into a daily routine, every morning the family of four would have their breakfast together. Ross would drink his coffee whilst he read his newspaper. Ben would eat his cereal and begin to tell them a bunch of stories that happened in his school. Rachel would feed Emma as she ate her breakfast together with them. Being there with Ross, Ben, and Emma every morning gave her a sense of familiar comfort. A sense of comfort she longed to have.

At night, Ross usually came home before her and whenever she came back home, Ross was already preparing their dinner. They'd eat their dinner together as a family and then after making sure Ben had already done his homework and brushed his teeth, they'd tucked both Ben and Emma together. Sometimes after tucking their kids, they'd watch some random TV shows and just talk until late at night. She would rest her head into his shoulder and he casually rested one of his hands on her middle as they enjoyed their time together, talking and laughing about anything they could think of.

Their weekends would be filled with either movie times with Ben or spending their day at Central Park. Ross and Rachel would sit at a piece of blanket with Emma, whilst watching Ben playing and running nearby. Some passerby would look at them and smile. Some of them even would make a comment about how cute and happy their little family was. Both Ross and Rachel couldn't help but smile under their praises. Unbeknownst to each other, they both were fond of the idea of them as a 'happy little family'. Those three words brought smiles into their faces.

Whatever they chose to do to spend their weekends for, they did everything together, just the four of them, like any normal family.

Never in her life had she experienced this kind of domestic life. And she never would've guessed that living with Ben and Ross together with their baby daughter could make her this happy. This was the place where she belonged. A place she proudly called home.

But what made her even more happier was Ross. Lately, he was more attentive and kind to her. The number of friendly kisses and hugs they've shared has multiplied in these past few months. Sometimes they'd even found themselves cuddled on the sofa whilst watching a TV looking perfectly like a normal couple. But again, it was no more than that much to her disappointment. She was so confused about what they actually were, but she was too afraid to ask him about it.

What if he didn't feel the same way as she did? What if he rejected her? What if she made a fool out of herself? What if she would make him uncomfortable by bringing this delicate topic up? What if they ended up ruining their friendship?

An endless 'what ifs' plagued her mind, stopping her from talking through things with him.

And apparently it wasn't just her who noticed their closeness, Monica and Phoebe also had the same questions about it.

"Are you guys getting back together or what?" Phoebe asked ecstatically one day.

Being the biggest cheerleader of Ross and Rachel, Phoebe couldn't help but notice the way these two ex-lovers had been behaving around each other these days. They were awfully close and the way they looked at each other was enough to convince her that her lobsters were in fact in love with each other.

Meanwhile Rachel was unsure how to react to Phoebe's question, Monica smiled brightly. Though she was always being careful about the subject, she was secretly hoping that this time her dumb brother and her stubborn best friend would finally get back together and become a real family as their kids and both of them deserved.

Rachel bit her nails nervously, not knowing how to reply to her best friend's question.

Hearing no response from Rachel, Monica assumed, "So, you two did get back together."

"Noo!" Rachel replied almost immediately, not wanting to cause any type of confusion between her friends. She sighed. "Well, not yet." She mumbled softly after.

Monica and Phoebe shared a knowing look and they smiled. Well, at least one of their hunches was indeed true. She did love him.

"You love him, aren't you?" Phoebe asked, confirming their suspicion.

Rachel shyly nodded. Her two best friends were her confidant in terms of her love life. She couldn't lie to them even if she wanted to, especially to Phoebe. She could've sworn Phoebe sometimes even saw right through her. A freakin' mind reader as Rachel would've referred to her as.

Huge smiles crept out from both Monica and Phoebe's faces. Rachel herself just confirmed their assumptions and it made them both happy. Ross and Rachel deserved to be happy and deep down they all knew that the couple's happiest times were the times when they were together.

"This is great!" Phoebe yelled ecstatically. "You should tell him!"

"Shh!" Rachel urgently shushed them, not wanting the guys to hear their conversation, especially Ross. She was determined that this time to save her from any further embarrassment and heartbreak, she wasn't going to make any move until he was the one who made it first.

"Again, not yet." Rachel told them.

"Rachel?" A man called her but she was still lost in her trance. "Rachel?" The man waved his hand in front of her face, trying to get her attention.

Only by then, she was being brought back from her trance. "Oh, God. I'm sorry. What was it again?" She asked apologetically.

He chuckled and shook his head. It wasn't the first time he caught Rachel daydreaming these past few weeks. "What's gotten into you these days?" He asked her.

"There's just something in my mind." She waved it off. "Now, where were we?"

"Okay..." He smiled. "I was asking you if you're free tonight?" He asked. "Maybe we can grab some dinner if you're free."

"I'm sorry, Gavin. I can't." She smiled apologetically. "It's Ross' birthday today."

This Gavin guy was the man Mr. Zelner had chosen to replace her temporarily during her maternity leave, but because he was so good with his work, Mr. Zelner had given him a permanent position in Rachel's department. Rachel met Gavin on her first day back at work and her first impression of him wasn't good. He was being a jerk for no apparent reason. But as Rachel knew him better, he was actually a really nice guy and more importantly he was great at his job which made her job way easier to finish, much to Rachel's delight.

"Okay" He nodded. "What about next Friday?"

Another fact that Rachel knew about Gavin, she knew he was into her after he had learnt the fact that Rachel was a single mother. He made it so obvious with his constant flirting. It wouldn't be a problem if she was single. Oh well, she was single. I mean, if she didn't have a baby, a Ben, and a Ross to think of, maybe she would gladly date the guy. But she couldn't do that, not when she knew she was in love only with one man. And the least thing she wanted was to ruin any chances she might have with him.

"I'm sorry Gavin. I can't." She started. "I'm not looking for anyone to date right now."

She rejected him maybe in the most polite way she knew. It wasn't like she wasn't ready to date anyone. It was just that he wasn't the man she was waiting for. He wasn't him.

"Is it because you're a single mother?" He asked. "You know I don't really have a problem with that."

She sighed, not knowing how to answer his question. She didn't want to lie to him, but it was too complicated to tell the man everything about her complex relationship with Ross. It could take her the whole night just to finish a half of it.

"It's not that." She started. "It's just.. It's complicated." She said simply.

"It's because of him, isn't it?" He asked. "I mean, Ross."

Judging by her nervousness, Gavin immediately knew his hunch was indeed right. He hated to admit it, but deep down he knew she was in love with another man. Ross. He met him one day at her office when Ross dropped Emma off for a visit during lunch hour. The way she looked at Ross was different from the way she looked at any other people, including him. Her eyes were sparkling every time she saw him. Her smile was so genuine whenever she was with him. She looked truly happy whenever he was around. He thought he had a shot. But today she made her point, he was indeed wrong. He couldn't beat this guy.

She nodded. "Yes." She admitted softly. "I'm so sorry.."

He smiled. "No, it's okay." He started as he walked over the door. "Well, I hope he knows how lucky he is."

"That's so sweet of you." She smiled. "Thank you."

"See you around, Rachel."

As soon as he left, she leaned back into her chair and sighed heavily.

She wasn't going to lie, she was flattered by him. Here she was a single mother who had just given birth to her daughter a few months ago and there he was this single attractive guy who was asking her out.

Truth to be told, she was feeling insecure with how her body looked after giving birth to their daughter. Her body changed, that was for sure. She was feeling insecure, but he was into her. If she didn't keep her mind straight she might as well have said yes to that date. But again, she couldn't. Not when she might have a real chance with him. Maybe for once they'd had a chance to become a real family with their daughter and Ben.

And there was Ben. Lately her mind was letting her to wonder what it would feel like if she became Ross' wife and a mother to both Ben and Emma. It was a pretty picture, she had to admit. And more importantly she wanted that. She wanted that so bad, she'd do anything not to ruin that chance. That includes rejecting a perfectly attractive guy asking her out for a date.

Memories of what she had experienced these past few months played in her mind. She was sure she wanted this. No, she wanted more of this. She wanted to wake up every day by his side and be able to do stuff like any normal couple with him. She wanted to spend their day with their little family, a real traditional family. It was all she wanted lately, more than everything. And judging by the way he had been acting around her lately, he might have the same desire as her. They might have their real chance this time. The thought of it alone was enough to put a huge smile on her face. She was confident that she had just made the right decision.

"Yup. That's the right thing to do." She said to no one.

Suddenly she had a huge urge to go home as soon as possible.

Home.

These days that simple word brought a huge smile on her face. She then smiled as she gathered her stuff. She was coming home.

Ross walked back home from his work whilst he hummed a tune of his favorite love song. Today was his birthday and lately he had almost everything he had ever asked for. He came home every day with a huge smile on his face knowing that there were three people he loved the most in this world waiting for him at his apartment.

Emma, their now six months old daughter, had just started to eat solid foods these days. Though it gave both Ross and Rachel a headache, he was still very happy at the fact that he could witness this milestone of his daughter's life without missing a thing. Unlike Ben, Ross had been present in every step of Emma's life so far and it brought an enormous happiness for him. It was a privilege for him to experience such things. Something that he never would've thought he could have the privilege for after finding out that once again he was having another baby with another ex. For that reason, he woke up everyday feeling grateful for it.

Ben. Ross always wanted to share a house with his own son. Every time he had to drop Ben off at Carol and Susan's place it broke his heart. Though he made sure to spend as much time as he could get with Ben, it wasn't the same because he wasn't there with him every day. But after the accident, even though it wasn't the situation he was hoping for, he earned that chance. He was finally able to live in the same house as his son and because of it he found out that there was a lot of stuff he didn't know about his son. Everyday he'd learnt new things about Ben and even the simplest thing he learnt about his son enough to make him happy. He was finally able to get to know his son better.

And there was her. Rachel. The time he had spent with her lately had been such a bliss it made him wonder what it would feel like to have her back in his arms again. Every time he was with her, it was almost as if there was no one else in this world beside the two of them. The time they'd spent with each other after the kids fell asleep was something he was waiting for each day. He'd made a joke just to see her smile. Oh, how he loved her smile. Her smile had this power over him to turn his bad day into a great one in seconds.

Sometimes she'd even fall asleep on the couch and he'd watched her sleep. She looked so peaceful whenever she slept it brought a warm smile into his face. As his eyes were fixated on her lips, he had to resist the urge from kissing her there, so instead he'd give her a kiss on her cheeks and her forehead after putting a blanket over her.

Today, just like any other day, he climbed up the stairs toward his apartment with a huge smile on his face. As soon as he opened the door into his apartment he was welcomed with a pleasant surprise.

"Surprise!" They all cheered loudly.

Ross' smile grew wider and he was touched by their gestures. Monica, Phoebe, Chandler, Joey, and Mike were there each wearing a party hat on their head. Rachel had Emma in her arms whilst the little girl was left clueless about the party but nonetheless she looked happy with everything, especially the balloons. Ben was smiling brightly with a present on his hands.

"Daddy!" Ben quickly ran over him. "Happy birthday!" He said as he handed Ross his gift.

"Aw.." Ross gave his son a hug and a kiss on his forehead. "Thank you."

Ben smiled shyly. "Open it, dad." He said. "Aunt Rachel helped me to pick it up for you."

Ross averted his attention to Rachel and she gave her a wink, he smiled thankfully in return. He then opened the gift and found a dinosaur shaped mug and a drawing of him, Ben, Emma, and Rachel that Ben apparently had made earlier along with words written on it 'Happy Birthday Daddy. We love you so much.'

Ross took the drawing and observed it closely and then he smiled. He loved how Ben included Rachel in the drawing. Ben was acknowledging Rachel as a part of his family.

"Wow, would you look at that? I look so beautiful in that drawing." Rachel commented as she joined them. "You're very good at drawing, Ben." She smiled at Ben and softly brushed his blonde hair.

Ben smiled proudly under her praise.

Ross stared at them and couldn't help but smile. He couldn't believe she was the same Rachel from a year ago who was frightened at the idea of becoming a new mom. He always knew she'd make a great mom and he never would've understood why she would even doubt her own ability as a mother. After all he was right, she wasn't perfect, but she was great at being a mom. Recently, she'd even learnt how to cook just because she wanted a healthy option for their daughter. And on top of that, she was so great with Ben.

"Do you like it, dad?"

Ross smiled. "I love it! Thank you." He gave Ben another hug and it was Rachel's turn to stare at them.

Ross was indeed a great father, she thought. She was glad it was Ross who she was having a baby with. Imagined if it was her other exes, what if it was Tag. It wouldn't be as easy as it was with Ross, she was sure of that. With Ross they were both co-parenting. He didn't need to be told to help her take care of Emma. He did it because he wanted to. And that reason was added into a pile of reasons why she fell in love with him again.

The rest of the gang smiled as they saw the little family looking perfectly happy around each other. Unbeknownst to Ross and Rachel, the rest of the gang secretly talked about them behind their backs, wishing that this time they'd get back together again.

"Now let's bring the cake out!" Joey exclaimed. "I'm starving!" He whined.

Monica looked around and found a framed picture of Rachel, Ross, Ben, and Emma that they had taken during their visit to the Aquarium. She smiled brightly as she looked closely at the picture. She knew it was taken only not long after the accident, but yet Ben was already looking happy just like he used to be before the accident and she knew the reason why.

For these past few months Monica had secretly observed Ben's behavior around Rachel and Monica had to admit the boy was getting attached to Rachel. Whenever Rachel was around, Ben would hover over her and whenever she wasn't around, he'd ask for her just like the way he kept asking for his dad. Nonetheless, she was grateful that Rachel treated him nicely even though Ben wasn't her responsibility to take care of.

"Hey, Mon.." A voice brought Monica back from her trance. "Thanks for all of this."

"Yeah, no problem." Monica smiled. "Hey, Ross.. Can I ask you something?"

Ross nodded. "Sure. What's up?"

After making sure there was no one around, she asked. "How's things between you and Rachel?"

He swallowed hard. He hadn't said to anyone about how he truly felt for Rachel. Did he make it look so obvious? He wondered.

"Wh-what do you mean?" He answered nervously.

"Oh, cut the crap Ross. You know what I mean." Monica replied. "You're still in love with her."

He sighed, defeated. "I do love her, Mon. I do." He admitted softly. "But, everything is finally doing great for us, I just don't want to ruin what we have. You know?" She nodded. "I'm not sure what to do. What should I do?"

Lately, his feelings for her were so overwhelming, he was trying hard to conceal it in front of others. But apparently he had failed to conceal his feelings since Monica was here, asking him this question.

She understood if he was afraid of what the consequences might be waiting for them by getting back together with Rachel. But the least thing she wanted was for them to get hurt in the process. After all, they've been through a lot this year. All of them, including their kids, deserved to be happy.

"I can't tell you what to do, Ross." She began as she knew it wasn't her place to tell him what to do. "But you have to make up your mind. Don't leave her hanging like that or you'll end up hurting her." She warned him.

He sighed and nodded. "Yeah, I know that."

She smiled apologetically as she rubbed his back. "Just think about it. Okay?" She started. "Listen to your heart, Ross. You two deserve to be happy."

She was right. They did deserve to be happy.

He finally smiled. "Thanks. I will."

That midnight, Ross heard a soft wailing coming up from Rachel and Emma's room when he was about to come back into his room after relieving his thirst. He opened the door slowly and found Emma was stirring and crying in her sleep. He carefully cradled Emma into his arms and tried to soothe her.

Not long after, Emma was back asleep and he tucked her in. After giving Emma a soft kiss on her forehead, he stopped his track in front of Rachel.

The moonlight creeping through the drapes was shining upon her sleeping form. He couldn't believe that someone could look so beautiful in her sleep. Sadly, her hair was covering part of her beautiful face. Having the urge to see her face, he carefully and slowly brushed a strand of her hair and tucked it behind her ear.

There she was. The perfect woman he had been dreaming of.

He stared at her and then he smiled. Looking at her sleeping was something he loved to do back then when they were dating. He missed it. He missed her.

He missed having her by his side whenever he woke up in the middle of the night. He missed her presence.

And those lips. When was the last time he kissed those soft lips of hers? Was it the time Emma was born? Six months ago?

Time did fly. It was almost as if it was only yesterday they shared that magical kiss after the birth of their daughter. That time was so magical for both of them. Seeing her efforts and her sacrifices during the birthing process made his love for her grow stronger, he was amazed by her. She was so brave, so beautiful, and so strong. If only that moment he told her his true feelings, things would end up well for them, wouldn't it?

That was all in the past. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't change the past. But, he could always learn from it, from his mistakes. He was determined that this time he wasn't going to make the same mistake again.

He leaned in and gave her a soft kiss on her forehead. "Good night, Rach. Sweet dreams." He murmured and then he walked over the door.

He was about to open the door when he heard a whisper.

"Good night, Ross.." She whispered and smiled without opening her eyes.

Ross turned his back around to face her and he immediately smiled after he saw the smile on her face.

That was it.

He made up his mind.

This time he was going to listen to his heart for he knew where he truly belonged.