If you recognize it, it is not mine.
The following chapter contains references to the episode End Run and Hanky Panky (part of a dialogue).
Please review, please and please!
"Hawkeye, wait up!" Claudia shouted as Hawkeye darted out of the Post-Op after his chat with Billy.
He stayed in front of the door, waiting for her to catch up, his eyes fixed on the ground. He didn't feel like talking, but couldn't chance leaving if Claudia wanted to talk about something medical. They almost overslept this morning, so she was probably a little late for her Post-Op duty. And he knew how conscientious she was, so if there was anything he could do to help, he would.
"What's going on? You alright?" She stood close to him, almost hugging him.
"Radar talked to Billy. He asked for some pills or something." Hawkeye explained, hoping Claudia would get the implication. He couldn't bring himself to say out loud one of his patients was suicidal. Rationally he knew this kind of thing happened, and quite a lot during wartime, but it weighed heavily on his conscience. Maybe if he started a little earlier, or chose another graft or…
"I'll look after him." Claudia assured him, getting on her toes and pressing soft kiss on his forehead. "You don't have to worry." Another kiss landed on the tip of his nose.
A little chuckle escaped his lips, because it tickled.
She stopped tiptoeing around him and finally paid attention to his lips. Snaking her arms around him and bringing his body impossibly closer, she started with warm passionate kisses. He was still tense, responding hesitantly to her advances. She slowly pushed him towards the wall of Post-Op, stopping only when his back impacted it. Running her tongue along his lower lip, she began prodding his lips, trying to get him to open his mouth. He did, although just a little. She thrusted her tongue in, hearing his breath hitch at the escalation. Inwardly cursing, she forced herself to separate their lips. "I'm sorry, but I have to go." She planted another kiss on his soft and waited until he acknowledged what she said, which he did with a little nod.
"You did everything you could, do you hear me?" She shook his shoulders violently for a few moments. "He'll be fine in time." And with that she ran inside.
Hawkeye took a deep breath, trying to calm down his lust. She felt so incredible in his arms. Or more precisely when she held him in her arms, squeezing him so tightly he felt cherished.
"You okay, Hawk?" BJ called out to him as he passed by, clad in his blue robe.
"Yeah. Where are you going?"
"Mess tent." He gestured towards the big tent.
"Have a death wish?"
BJ let out a loud chuckle. "Wanna join me?"
"Sure, why not?" They quickly joined the group of people walking toward the mess tent.
"What about Zale and Klinger?" BJ wanted to know, being aware that Hawkeye had a plan in mind.
"Hopefully, they will come to their senses."
"Hawkeye, are you okay? You seem distracted or something…"
"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine." He nodded, inside going through turmoil as always. He didn't know what to do about Billy. He was great surgeon, he knew that, but when that wasn't enough, he felt hopeless. Speaking of which, he felt guilty about keeping secrets from BJ. He was his best, closest friend for a while. They were always together, in whatever scandalous prank. But he promised to Claudia to keep her secret and frankly he had enough trouble dealing with it himself. The thought of someone else knowing and bothering him about it was scary at least.
He took two boiled eggs and a couple of toasts. He wasn't really hungry, but he dreaded being alone. When he was alone, he had to think about her. And when he thought about her, inevitably he thought about what would happen…
She was just so incredible – and what was very funny plus useful, higher rank than Frank and Hot Lips. While Margaret was better when she wasn't with Frank anymore, Ferret Face was as annoying as ever. And Claudia recently told him off for his bad attitude towards patients and colleagues and educated him about why it mattered and how important it was and how it could reflect in his future career. Apparently she scared the shit out of him. He was trying to be a little better afterwards, even though he still went through with the planned boxing match.
"Are you sure there is nothing going on between you two kids?" Hawkeye smiled sinfully.
"Honest." BJ straightened his jacket prepared to leave.
"A little hanky panky after taps?"
"Scout's honor." BJ said quickly.
"Before?"
"No." BJ answered even quicker with an even bigger smile this time.
"During?" Hawkeye's eyebrows went up.
"I'm happily married." And with that his tentmate left.
"Oh yeah?" Hawkeye played with the shoelaces, tugging on them. "I thought that was contradiction in terms." He murmured to himself as he finally tied his shoelaces tightly. Biting on his lip, he gathered the dirty surgical garb and disposed of it as procedure dictated.
He still wondered what was going on with Nurse Donovan, but he had too much on his mind besides that. He was at capacity when it came to worrying. Wanting to get a cup of coffee before heading to Claudia's, he sat beside Margaret who was still stressing over the absence of letters from her fiancé. Klinger came and refilled their cups with the same horrible coffee. The pudding wasn't particularly good either.
The news that Margaret's fiancé is in Tokyo hospital made the Major even more panicky.
"You're just jealous because Donald is full-lipped." She said, pursing her lips at Ferret face when he dared to make a joke at Donald's expense.
"I'm getting excited." Hawkeye said, in a melodic tone, smiling lecherously.
"Eat your pudding." Colonel Potter told him, interrupting his train of thoughts.
"Hmmm…" Hawkeye frowned, rolling his eyes at his commander.
He couldn't help but notice that BJ left right after Donovan. It left him wondering what if anything was going on with those two. He knew BJ was the faithful type, but he actually also never ever took so much interest in a woman. As he was finishing his coffee he saw Claudia going across the camp in the direction of her tent. He got up and sprinted out of the mess tent to meet her.
"Hello, lady. Looking for company?"
"Who says I'm a lady?" She smiled and kissed him passionately.
"How's the patient?" He asked, knowing she needed to check on a patient in Post-Op and that was the reason he was waiting for her. He opened the door to her tent and watched her enter.
"He's okay, you know, considering." She gave him another kiss, then ran her tongue over her lips. "You taste like pudding." She chuckled.
"Oh, sorry."
The door closed with a loud bang.
"No, I like it." She said, pressing another kiss to his lips. "How was your day? I heard in the end you were in OR for more than seven hours. Wish I was there with you, not running around in Post-Op."
"It wasn't that bad. Not too many patients, but very time-consuming operations. The situation in Post-Op was probably worse. Anyway, we managed in the OR."
"Speaking of which, have you worked with Nurse Donovan? Margaret is complaining that she's not on top of things."
"She's a little distracted, but she's doing just fine. BJ's taking care of it."
"OK, I'll take care of the Major then. If Donovan is having some problems, the last thing she needs is any more pressure from the Head Nurse… Wait, what? BJ, really?"
"Yeah. You know him, he hates seeing any marriage in trouble." He sank down on the cot and brought her with him, running his fingers in her hair.
"Yeah, that sounds like him."
He gave her another soft kissed, teasing her mouth open and then continuing more passionately. After they stopped to get some air, he caressed her cheek, still looking into her eyes. "I want what BJ has with his wife…"
"I think BJ would be against that!" She smiled awkwardly.
"Claudia, I mean I want that with you."
"I thought we went over this." She wanted to stand up, but he held onto her, not letting her go. She sighed, putting her arms around his shoulders tight. "Hawkeye." She whispered into his ear, her arms running up and down his back.
"We didn't resolved anything."
"I don't want you to hurt any more than you already do." She moved further away from him, to look at his face. She planted a light kiss on the top of his nose.
"Losing you is worse than anything else I can imagine. It won't make that much difference, trust me."
"I know you feel like that now, but you would have to tell everyone you were a widower, every time you would fill in a form, it would be there. It would never go away."
"You'll always stay with me, no matter what, Claudia. Stop fighting it."
"God, Hawkeye." She closed her eyes in despair and laid her head on his shoulder.
It took him a while to realize she was sobbing quietly. "Well I didn't want to make you cry."
She didn't respond, just grabbed him tighter.
"I love you." He said, kissing her neck gently.
Sniffling quietly, she used her hand to get rid of the tears on her cheeks. "Listen. There's something I wanted to talk to you about, but I didn't know how to bring it up."
"You know you can tell me anything."
"I hadn't really thought about it before we were together… Because I probably don't have any relatives alive, I don't have any options regarding where I'll end up. So…"
She could tell he didn't know what she was talking about, but at the same time she couldn't bring herself to say 'I have no idea what will happen to my corpse when I drop dead'. So she just kept staring into his eyes, her lower lip caught between her teeth, waiting for the look of understanding on his face.
"Oh! You'd want to be bur… go to Crabapple Cove?" His unbelievably blue eyes got really big and there was a panicked look on his face, as if he was worried he got it wrong.
"If you don't mind, yeah…" She said quietly.
"Yes, of course. If you want that, I'd make sure…" He started speaking really loudly and fast, but then stopped himself and took a deep breath. They were making plans for when she'd die. "I promise I'll take care of it."