Rated M.

If you recognize it, it is not mine.

The following chapter contains references to the episode Hanky Panky (dialogue at the beginning) and 38 Across.

THAT'S RIGHT, 2 CHAPTERS IN ONE DAY! !

Please review, I love to hear from you.

Hawkeye watched BJ sat down at the same table at him and smiled with glee. At least he didn't avoid him. "Morning. You were out awful late last night." He started, wondering what reaction he'd get from his friend. Laying his hands on the table, he stopped eating and paid full attention to his friend. It wasn't as if he wanted to pry open his wounds, he just knew BJ should talk about this, and preferably to him than to anyone else in camp. Or maybe to Claudia, she'd probably be even better option than he himself.

"Lots to do in Post-Op."

That was of course true, but the way he said it without looking up from his meal spoke volume. And while there was lots to do in Post-Op all the time, he didn't always spent his nights outside Swamp.

"You were gone when I woke up this morning."

"Couldn't sleep." This time BJ met his stare, but only for a second or two, before his gaze slid to the table again.

"If I didn't know better, I'd say you were out all night." There was a knowing spark in Hawkeye's eyes, which BJ missed, studying his food as closely as he did.

"Mm-hmm."

"You could've called. Mother and I were worried sick."

BJ chewed his food a few times and then looked at his friend. "Dad, shut up."

Hawkeye smirked in satisfaction. That was almost confirmation, wasn't it? "Ah, I hate to see them grow up. I just hope you weren't wasting your time with some nurse." Hawkeye leaned it closer to BJ, waiting for an explanation.

"Let's say I was sitting up with a sick friend."

"Good, good. Start at the beginning and tell me all about it." Hawkeye moved in even closer, because right now he was all ears, but the story he was expecting didn't come. Instead Nurse Donovan sat down at their table and greeted them.

BJ greeted her back and Hawkeye noted how much better she looked today.

"Thanks. I feel better." The nurse smiled, still looking mainly in BJ's direction.

"Well, why shouldn't we all feel good? Our work is so rewarding. Always lending a helping hand. Doing unto others." He let out a nervous chuckle, unable to stop himself.

"Hawk, your mouth runneth over."

"I'm just teasing. I mean, do I know what I'm saying? Whatever it is, I don't mean it." Hawkeye patted his cup as if it was a head of a small child, buzzing with energy and not knowing what to do with it. He wasn't good in these kind of situations. He always said the wrong thing and talked about the elephant in the room. "Should I go?" He asked sheepishly.

"Just stop talking." BJ offered.

"I will as soon as I get my foot out of my mouth. I think I'll put it someplace else." Looking away and inhaling loudly, he continued his rant. "Ah, I'm being paged at the pool. Well, you two carry on." He realized what he said and another nervous laugh escaped him. God! "Strike that. This is me leaving. Here I go. Bye. So long." Grabbing his tray, even with the cup and everything, he sprinted out of the mess tent.

"Hawkeye, what's going on? You alright?" Outside he almost bumped into Claudia. Thankfully she grabbed the tray and hold onto it, so it didn't all end up on her. But she definitely noticed how distraught he was.

"Can I finish eating at your place?" Hawkeye said quickly, looking over his shoulder and annoyed at himself.

"Sure, but why…"

He didn't even let her finish the sentence. "Let's just go, please."

"Of course." Claudia frowned, surprised, but didn't object or comment. She knew Hawkeye generally wasn't in a good place right now, even if she didn't know what exactly was happening at the moment. Worried, she watched him run to her tent and disappear in it.

Sighing, she opened the door and looked at him. He was sitting at the table, hunched over his tray, but not eating. She walked over to her bed, sitting down there. "Hawkeye?" She laid her hand on his thigh, waiting for him to turn toward her.

"Yeah?"

"What's happened?" She kept stroking his thigh gently, trying to coax it out of him.

"Donovan and BJ were sitting in the mess tent."

She expected him to continue, but when he just looked away and shrugged his shoulders, she sighed again. "Okay. And?"

"And I just couldn't stop myself and my stupid mouth…"

"Ah." She tried to get him to get closer, but he just sat there. "Come here."

"Claudia. I-…" He didn't stop holding her hand, but resisted her tug. His smile was uncomfortable, like he didn't know what to do. She never saw him like this, at least not recently in her company.

"Well, I don't know about others, but your mouth is one of my favorite parts of you."

That painted a little smile on his face, but not for long.

"Look, I'm sure he knows you meant well. Don't worry about it." She grabbed him roughly, and this time he let her push him onto her. "Let's enjoy our time together and then later, after your shift in Post-Op, talk to him. You'll see it'll be fine."

"You're amazing." He said, nuzzling on her neck. Continuing with his kissing, his mouth slid to her chest. He growled in annoyance when he encountered her shirt, which made her laugh hysterically.

"I love it when you want me so much." She assured him when she saw a hint of embarrassment on his face.

Claudia grabbed her robe and headed out to investigate the loud noise. On her way, she passed Major Burns who was rushing to the latrine or somewhere in that direction. Not many people were in sight, it was actually quite late, so late that Hawkeye will be off duty in a few minutes.

Near the Head Nurse's tent she found a broken Japanese umbrella lying on the floor. She raised her eyebrows at it. That wasn't something you see every day. She kicked it aside, so no one would trip over it and took a few steps to talk to Margaret.

"Major, can I talk to you for a second?" She called, knowing Margaret liked people to wait until she herself opened the door.

"Just a moment." The Major's voice sounded sad, but that wasn't surprising since her fiancé was in hospital and she still didn't know why. "What's on your mind, Colonel Rester?"

When she opened the door though, Claudia froze for a moment. The image didn't quite fit with the composed Major she was so used to, but she couldn't put a finger on what exactly it was that tipped her off. It seemed like Margaret had been crying before she interrupted her. "I heard some noise." She explained. "Just want to know if you know what it was and if everything is alright."

"Just an argument with Major Burns. He already left."

"Okay, well…" Claudia was about to leave, when she noticed the white pajama top that the Major was wearing underneath he robe had a tear near the neckline. "Did he do that?" She motioned to the tore fabric, where a few threads were hanging from it.

"Oh, I guess I just didn't notice it before." The Major said, her voice still somewhat hoarse. "I'll repair it, thank you for telling me. Is that's all?"

Claudia's eyes narrowed as she watched the Major squirm under her inspection. "Is this the first time he was so insistent?" She asked, choosing her words carefully.

"No, that's not what… I can take care of myself!"

"I didn't say anything that would contradict that. Can I come in?"

"If you insist." Margaret opened the door more to let Claudia in.

"I do." Claudia waited until the door were closed again before she started speaking again. "You know I could order you to tell me."

"Yes." The major crossed her arms on her chest, not moving a muscle, or saying anything else.

"But I don't want to do that." Claudia sighed, taking a step toward Margaret. "A lot of bad things can happen to a woman."

"I know." Margaret said, averting her gaze for a moment.

"If anything like this happens again, I want you to tell me. Immediately." Claudia talked firmly, like she wouldn't permit any alternative, but then got another idea and spoke a little softer. "Or find someone else, if you'd be more comfortable that way. It doesn't have to be me, but tell someone what happened. Understood?"

"Yes, ma'am."

Claudia turned around when she was in the door. "You're sure you're okay?"

"Absolutely. Thank you."

When Claudia was passing the Swamp she could see Hawkeye talking to BJ. And since she knew Hawkeye planned an important friend talk with BJ, she changed direction and headed to the mess tent. She just saw Major Burns enter it.

He had only a cup of coffee in front of him and he sat all alone. She quickly walked to the table and sat down opposite of him. "Major."

"Colonel. What can I do for you?"

Claudia took a deep breath, trying to calm herself. She was still not sure how to handle this. Leaning closer to the major, she looked into his eyes. "If you ever bother Major Houlihan again, I will personally write a very long and informative letter to your wife. Moreover I'll break both your arms. Are we clear?"

"I…But I…?"

"Are we clear?" She asked again, her gaze even darker now.

"Yes, roger, wilco. We are clear, ma'am." He kept nodding forcefully.

"Good." She spat out, turning on her heel. Hawkeye was probably already waiting for her and she didn't want to waste her time with this idiot when she could be in Hawkeye's arms.