If you recognize it, it is not mine.

The following chapter contains references to the episode Hepatitis and The General's Practitioner.

Please (pleading with tears in my eyes), really pleeeeeeease, review!

The jab of Gama globulin really hurt, even though it was delivered by the expert hands of Colonel Potter. He let out a little yelp, but he wanted to scream. Not just from the pain in his behind.

He felt tense, like the whole world was on his shoulders. It felt odd admitting out loud he was angry about being in Korea, and not just because of the obvious reasons, but also because he could accomplish something back home. Damn right he was mad, he wanted to help, not repair people only to have them sent back to the slaughter again.

The drink helped a little, but mainly it was the conversation with Potter that did the trick. Moping over things he couldn't change was stupid and his body took notice of the stress.

"It's too big of a world to be in competition with everyone else. The only guy I have to get better than is who I am right now, and in your case that's tough enough." Colonel Potter said and advise him to dunk the biscuits in the booze.

Hawkeye overlooked all the compliments Potter was throwing his way. His brain was focused on whether to bring up Claudia's health right now. He wanted to know everything, he wanted to be told there was some mistake and that she'd be alright. But that wouldn't be the case he knew. So he let the conversation go in another direction and just let his frown stay on his forehead for longer. It'd be nice to send an anonymous letter to that pathetic weasel who apparently gets all the grants in Maine.

"How much do you know about Claudia?" Suddenly there it was. He was not even aware he said it. He was thinking about her and what the Colonel knew and next moment he saw the Colonel's face go blank.

"What do you mean?" Potter asked carefully.

"She told me that she's going to…" Hawkeye's voice shook, so he didn't finish that sentence. "There is really no chance she'll be alright?"

"Son, I am sorry."

"I know. Has she told you that I…" Hawkeye took another sip of his drink, trying to gather courage. "I asked her to marry me."

Potter tried to mask his shock as best as he could, but it still showed.

Hawk smirked. "Yeah…"

Potter poured more alcohol into Hawkeye's glass and waited if the captain would say something. But Hawkeye stayed silent.

"What did she say?" Potter prompted Hawkeye to continue.

"What do you think? She said no." Hawkeye stared at his glass sitting in front of him at the table, biting his lip.

"You know it is not because she doesn't want to say yes, right?" Potter stressed in his very strict voice.

Hawkeye just shrugged in response.

"Hawkeye…" Potter started, but Hawk cut him off.

"Thank you, colonel. I am gonna go now. Had a long day." He gulped down the rest of the drink and hot-footed it out of there.

On the way to the Swamp he checked on Claudia, who was all cute and sleepy. He kissed her goodnight and went to bed himself.

In the morning, in a stupid attempt to showcase how fit he was, Hawkeye stood on his head and fell on very hungover BJ. They both screamed in pain until Claudia showed up, then proceeded to scold them both like they were little children. She did examine them too, and with her help and care their pain went away shortly after noon.

She had a busy day, including a long meeting with Potter, so she really laid into them for being irresponsible. And while BJ argued he didn't really do anything, she reminded him how much he drank yesterday and how he forgot to meet Hawkeye in the Swamp for his shot of Gama globulin. BJ stopped arguing after that, even though it showed, he still didn't think it was fair to blame both of them equally. It was Hawkeye who'd fallen on him after all!

In her meeting with the colonel, Claudia made sure that Colonel Potter knew about Frank's inclination to grab the Head Nurse despite her objections. He agreed to be on the lookout for anything suspicious and put a mark in Frank's file in case either of them got transferred out. She had a short fuse lately, and she noticed herself, but she was really worried about Hawkeye, and now BJ as well.

"Oh, sorry, I didn't know you were in here." Hawkeye said slowly as the exhaustion started to hit him. He stepped behind the curtain and sat on the bench, not moving a muscle.

"It's just me." Claudia chuckled, not really understanding why he was apologizing. He saw and felt every inch of her body multiple times. She then put on her greyish shirt and turned to her lover.

"What is it, Hawkeye?" She saw him sitting there, hunched over, with head in his hands. She sat down next to him and put her hand on the small of his back.

Still he didn't react.

"A patient?" Claudia tried again, and this time she received a little nod in response. "I'm sorry." She offered, trying to embrace him more, but his body stayed rigid and unresponsive, so the hug was rather awkward.

"Every time I perform open heart massage, I feel like my stomach will jump out of my mouth. Damn it!" He flinched away from her, and brushed his tears away with the palms of his hands.

"Hawkeye, look at me." Claudia said, very loudly and harshly.

He didn't, though.

So she grabbed his hands and pried them away from his face. "Look at me, please." She felt enormous sadness, and great distance settling between the two of them. "Hey!" She wondered if he finally conceded because she asked him to, or he reacted on reflex, turning after loud noise.

Gently, in a manner that contrasted with her demanding tone of voice, she brought Hawkeye's hands away from his face and waited until he looked straight at her. Laying her hands on his cheeks, she hold his gaze. "Ben, don't hide from me, okay? Aren't we in this together?"

Hesitantly he nodded and was rewarded with sweet quick kiss. It lingered on his lips, but in reality her lips only touched his for a second or two.

"I also hate that procedure, who wouldn't? Losing a patient is hard."

Again his gaze dropped, this time to the floor, as he stripped off the surgical whites.

"And I know how much it affects you. Even if it's just for a few moments."

"Can we go?" He said, still feeling heavy with responsibility and guilty due to something he couldn't quite pinpoint. "How about some lunch?" He suggested.

"Wait!" She stopped him and stepped closer. She could see the expectation on his face right before she wrapped him in the tightest hug she was capable of. "I love you. You're the best, prettiest doctor around."

He felt her warm body pressed against him, her breath tickling the skin on his neck and then she started kissing him too. Her hand tangled in his hair, holding him real close and as they continued the gentle – and for them pretty chaste – kissing.

"You're perfect." He breathed out when their lips separated.

They were both gasping for air, trembling all over at this point.

"Well, that's settled. You're crazy." She laughed, and looked up to meet his beautifully blue eyes.

"About you? Yeah."

She let out a little chuckle, but then looked at him with concern. "Feeling better now? Want to go for a cup for coffee?"