Disclaimer: I do not own Evangelion. This is a Fanfiction.

Summary: After the incident with Unit 13, Shinji discovers just how different things are. (AU).

Eva Rebuild: Of Evas and Entertainment

Shinji was having a panic attack at the moment. Why? Well someone thought it would be a good idea to stick the boy back into the Eva he caused third impact with.

"Seriously Misato, this is not a good idea! What if I cause another impact! I'm literally freaking out right now!" Shinji was hoping that someone would see that putting him into the awakened Eva is a disaster waiting to happen.

"Shinji, it is impossible to awaken the Eva since you have already awakened it. Think of a Pokémon that evolves into its final evolution, it will not evolve again since it is already in its final form. No more worrying over creating an impact when you are piloting the one Eva we have that cannot accidentally make one like third impact." Ritsuko explained to Shinji to try and calm the traumatized boy down.

"Like that will help! I am probably going to fall backwards into some other way of causing an impact!"

"Don't worry Shinji, we will stop the Eva from making any impacts! You won't have to go through that again!"

"Thanks Asuka."

Suddenly alarms started going off and all available pilots were to pilot their Evas and combat the enemy Evas that NERV sent them. The WUNDER was able to fly without Unit 01 hooked up due to an S2 engine that was installed after inspecting the one in the purple Eva allowed them to create one of their very own.

Shinji was very afraid to confront the Evas, but he told himself that he would do it for the people that gave him a second chance. For the family that took him in. For the girl that gave her heart to him.

That fear turned into a ginormous headache when he saw what the four Evas approaching looked like.

Stormtroopers!

What the heck! His dad made the Evas wear the armor of the most inaccurate troops in all of Star Wars. If these Evas share this flaw with the imperial soldiers from the movies than they could probably get out of this fight without getting hit.

Shinji later on proved himself to be fortune tell when the enemy Evas stated to fire at them. Shinji thought that they were trying to shoot down the WUNDER at first until he saw that the warship was not anywhere near where they were firing. The death match between him, Asuka, and Mari vs the four stormtroopers that couldn't shoot something at point blank range was not very hard to figure out which side came out without a scratch. It was official, his dad is crazy.

Shinji wanted to go to bed.

"…and that is why everyone is to from hear on out dress as members of the Rebel Alliance and use code names based on the character from within that faction." Misato had finished her order that Shinji could not fathom the usefulness to even implement. The moment he left he was dragged by Asuka to the room the two pilots shared together. She and Mari have been planning an all-Eva pilot event to spend pilot bonding time with Shinji and Rei.

Rei had been in a coma for the past few days and when she woke up, she had the memories of the Rei that he had first met. Apparently, she got close to Unit 01 and absorbed the soul that was trapped in Unit 01 with his mother and the two Reis fused into one. No one kept her away from Unit 01 because no one thought that it would happen. That and Mari became the person to be her babysitter.

Never let Mari babysit anyone.

Rei came out of the ordeal relatively okay, but Rei's innocence and curiosity with Mari's brand of sexual humor and mischief is a dangerous combination. He still has nightmares about sour cream and ranch dressing.

The whole ship wanted to keep the two Ikaris innocent for as long as possible. Well, Shinji was formally innocent, but he still acted like one as far as everyone else was concerned. Nobody wanted to ask Asuka what Shinji was like in private. Mari did and she had to be hospitalized from all of the blood loss from her nose. Poor Sakura.

At least the clone sister thing that Rei and Asuka had going on actually made the two have a friendly relationship. Unfortunately, he is very pessimistic and just waiting for their friendship to somehow give him a headache.

"We are finally here!" Asuka announced. The two pilots soon see Mari and Rei enter the room after a few minutes of waiting. Asuka's room was full of cartoons, anime, movies. Comics, manga, and video games. Most of the stuff was hers. Shinji only had his SDAT and his cloths.

There was a vote for what they would be watching first with the other votes being for their next get together.

Shinji wanted to watch the Disastrous Life of Saiki K. since right now he found himself feeling like Saiki. Both had great power that they were cursed to be burdened with and they were being constantly annoyed by their friends' crazy antics even though they cared for them deep down. Shinji wasn't a male Tsundere, and everyone was not really sure just how far being part angel affected Shinji and Asuka except for some things that did not help with the Evas.

Asuka wanted to watch Horimiya because the FMC becomes a masochist down the line and wants Shinji to start indulging in her desires for pain. Thankfully his girlfriend was being patient since he was still getting use to everything and has not tried to convince him of the benefits of smacking your girlfriend around…. yet.

Rei wanted to watch Tanaka-kun is Always Listless because she had developed a liking to sloths after watching an animal planet show about the lazy creatures.

Mari wanted to watch Teasing Master Takagi-san since she likes to tease people. She also mentioned that the relationship between the two characters was like how Shinji and Asuka were like now. Personally Shinji thought that she said that to get Asuka on her side to make that the pick for today, but then again, she did openly admit she is concocting plots regarding the two dating Eva pilots. Shinji has been suspicious of her to this day.

The order of the shows to watch were Teasing Master Takagi-san, Horimiya, Disastrous Life of Saiki K. and Tanaka-kun is Always Listless.

Shinji was in the middle of Rei and Mari while Asuka was sitting on his lap. The four pilots in teen bodies relaxed and watched the episodes of Teasing Master Takagi-san for the rest of the day.

The End

Author's Notes:

I have been working on this fanfic for the past few days while thinking about what I should do with Wife of Obsession and now that I am going to do a redo of that fanfic, I am probably going to be more focused on that one instead of this. I will still work on this fanfic, but it will not be uploading new chapters as much.

This crackfic is does not get that much attention. My one-shot Asuka's Fear got more traffic than this, but then again that one-shot was up for longer. I do not know and considering this is somewhat of a side project I am okay with it. I am curious as to why though, so let me know what you think.

I decide to figure out how to fix chapter mistakes and add boarders to chapter 1, so if it looks different than that is it.

I was thinking of making Mari a cousin to Shinji and Rei, but I am not sure, so I decided not to do anything with that until later or in another fanfic.

Thank you all and have a great day!