AN: Last night, I felt inspired to write this. It is a One-Shot. I hope you all enjoy it.
The first part is Argonaut's perspective, around the end of Part 2 of the Argonaut DanMemo story. The second part is Tiona's perspective, late in Volume 17 of DanMachi. I have not read the novels, but I know most of the story through the manga, anime, and synopses (from the DanMachi Wiki). It should go without saying that there are spoilers.
EDIT: I've moved this from the "Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon" category to the "Dungeon ni Deai o Motomeru no wa Machigatte Iru Darou ka" category.
It hurts.
Not his body, although that is definitely in shambles. No, his heart is what is truly in pain.
From the moment he saw her in the castle hallway, he wanted to make that girl smile. It was not just his desire to save those in need; a selfish little part of knew that the sight of her smile would be the most beautiful thing he could image.
When he met her again, he saw the kindness in her heart. Even as she spewed vitriol at him with a cold look in her eyes, she tried to protect him. Despite the darkness she had clearly been exposed to, a light still shined within her.
The third time, he sought her out. He knew that he was a fool, only able to save the one life forsaken to save hundreds more. Yet, his heart demanded that he turn that one into two, and he declared that he would make her smile.
He had fallen for her, deeply. And that was when he started to slip, he supposed.
A clown would not ask about the world's, yet he did. She noticed and, for the first time, her eye glimmered with interest rather than scorn. As they debated hope and despair, he drew on the full extent of his noble education to combat her nihilism and finally earned a compliment from her (albeit following an insult).
Even when she gave him a prediction of suffering and wished for his misery, he could recognize that it was more of her kindness. She wanted him to live, even if that meant crushing him dreams.
When he learned the kingdom's dark truth, the reason why she was so miserable, it broke him. He got angry; at himself, at the kingdom, and, worst of all, at her. He ran off, got ensnared in the king's trap, and was hunted by the kingdom's people.
Yet, in death's clutches, she came to see him. He could not help but smile, even as she hit him. He saw the depth of her sadness, and again vowed to save her. Had the soldiers not arrived, he likely would have confessed his feelings, too.
And, as she tried to save him from the soldiers, he felt horrified and touched. She all but gave up her life, and for him. His heart stopped beating until Crozzo's timely arrival restarted it.
As the three of them talked around the fire later that night, he saw her blush several times. It was so cute that, despite everything, he took the time to commit the moments to memory.
Soon after, he talked to her alone. He professed his plan, his dream, and his desire to save her. She saw his true self, the self he hid behind the mask of a clown.
Until now, he wore that mask before everyone, ever since the fall of Elcos. Others may have noticed the mask, but this was the first time anybody saw what lay beneath it. He bore his heart to her and her alone, and she clearly realized that. The way she became flustered by this confession made her own feelings quite clear.
It was for that reason he brought up the princess. A fool he may be, but oblivious he was not. He knew they both felt the same way about one another, yet for either of them to openly admit it would be a mistake.
He had no money. He could not provide her with food, clothing, or a home. He had no power. He could not protect her, or any children they might have. He had no standing, not anymore. He could not make her his queen, only a despised outcast like himself.
Additionally, he knew deep down that his life was short. He already had an inkling of a plan to save her and the princess, and he was painfully aware that it would not end happily for him. Someone like him, too powerless to be a hero, could not escape battle with the ferocious Minotaur alive.
Even if he acquired the power of a Great Spirit, his survival alone would be a miracle, much less without permanent harm. And leaving a lady to mourn her lover's death, the height of tragedy, did not belong in a comedy.
Sadly, his prediction proved true. Blinded, his body ruined, and with death on its way. It warmed his heart when she said she did not want him to die, though, and her smile was worth more than twice the suffering he received. He could not see it, but he knew that somebody as smart and caring and lovely as her would surely have a stunning smile.
Before the final battle, he admitted his childish dream to be a hero and gave her his journal. She was the only one he trusted her to fulfill his goal, to spread the tale of a clown and inspire countless heroes to rise up. Yet, seeing her tears as he did this almost made him regret the decision.
Sigh. Maybe in his next life, things will be different. When he reincarnates, hopefully he will meet her again. And if he is lucky, this clown will win her heart and get to keep it. She would definitely be able to win his, with nothing but a genuine smile.
It hurts.
Whenever anyone asked her if she had a crush, she would say no. She believed it too. However, she had been lying.
Buried deep within her lay the truth. She had a crush on him, the boy who reminded her so much of the story that taught her to smile.
He went on an adventure and fought a Minotaur, winning despite being weak and inexperienced. He loved heroic stories just as much as her, knowing things about the tales that even she did not. And the way he would get flustered by other people, even though he could face dangerous opponents without flinching, was just adorable. The more time she spent around him, the more she fell in love with him.
Yet, this secret could never see the light of day. If she admitted it, even to herself, the pain would become so much worse. She saw how her sister acted; how much being rejected hurt. And, unlike her sister, she did not believe that she could succeed.
He could never love her, after all. She was not pretty, just a brutish warrior. He was surrounded by beautiful girls. There was no doubt in her mind that he would choose any one of them over her.
This pain only grew worse when she helped him prepare for the War Game. Again, her discovery was unconscious, as becoming aware of it would lead to her to noticing the pain it brought her (and, by extension, the reason for the pain). It was a form of self-protection, enacted by her subconscious.
He loved her friend, the Sword Princess; of course he did. The princess was stronger, prettier, better in every way. This added new emotions to the mix, ones that produced new flavors of suffering for her.
She was jealous of the princess, though she did not know why. She hated herself for feeling that way, even if she could not pinpoint the reason for her envy. And she felt a strange sense of despair from time to time, similar to how she felt before finding that special story and learning about hope.
When everybody forgot the truth about him, she felt hollow inside. She knew something was missing, despite never knowing it was there in the first place. And, when he approached them, asking the princess if she recognized him, something in her started to crack. These cracks grew is size as her friend responded, before whatever it was shattered completely thanks to the sheer joy he exhibited from the princess's words.
It was not until the flames restored her memories that she realized what had broken; her heart. As the dam burst in her mind, everything hidden (by the charm and by herself) came rushing up to the surface. The pain was unbearable, and she cried broken tears.
The princess and her sister came by soon after. Fortunately, she had stopped crying by then. The chaos of the situation allowed her to pass off her misery as guilt. Additionally, they were planning on confronting those who caused this situation. She would be able to channel her sadness and heartbreak into attacking them, as a way of easing her suffering.
It would not stop the pain, though, and she knew it.
If only life was more like a heroic story. He could be the hero and she could be the heroine (but not a helpless damsel. Some part of her rejected the thought, as if she had experienced this role before and lost something important). They could fall in love, fight the bad guys together, and live happily ever after.
Sigh. Maybe, after they both died, they would reincarnate and meet one another again. Hopefully, she would be smarter and prettier, somebody he could fall in love with. She would definitely fall for him again, given how heroic he was.
Maybe, one day, it would stop hurting.
AN: A while back, I had the idea that Tiona has a crush on Bell, but unconsciously avoids thinking about/admitting it due to a mixture of insecurity that he would not reciprocate and fear of the pain of rejection (the latter stemming from constantly seeing her sister fail to woo Finn and get depressed). It also occurred to me that Argonaut may have intentionally killed the mood between himself and Orna by mentioning the princess in early Part 2. Given his admission that he knew he could not become a hero, Argonaut may have realized that he would likely die and did not want Orna to get close to him only to lose him. At least, these are my headcanon.
On a side note, please tell me if any part of the story is confusing. I realize that sections of it may be vague, and would gladly clarify them.