When Lucifer regained consciousness, he noticed something strange about where he was. First off, he was in a car. But that wasn't the strange part, no, the strange part was that he was upside down and the car literally flipped over on the side of the road.
'Huh? What happened to me? How did I even get here?' He swore, the last thing he remembered was drinking after choosing to skip out on a truth or dare question but after that, it was fairly blurry. Something must've happened if he went from being in his mansion to being flipped over in his limo in the span of one night.
Somehow, Lucifer was unharmed despite the crash and managed to crawl his way out with minimal effort. When he did, he noticed just how destroyed the area around him was, entire buildings were destroyed and it looked like he had destroyed just about everything within the surrounding area.
"Holy shit...I did all of this?" He asked himself. Sure, he didn't expect the area to be unharmed but he didn't expect him driving in a limo to literally tear the realm apart."Looks like I got carried away…"
He sighed as he looked over the damage. No doubt he'd have to get another car and while it wasn't like he could afford it, Lucifer did wish he hadn't crashed the damn thing now.
Still, he figured at the very least he'd get as far from the wreckage as possible and try to get a good idea on where he actually was. He was still feeling the effects of being drunk and had lost track of where he was long ago.
Eventually, Lucifer managed to find a bunch of TV's that were playing the newest stories where a crowd of people were present, clearly interested in what was playing on screen.
Normally he wouldn't care, but he couldn't help but feel curious and wanted to see what everyone was so interested in.'Hm? What's this? Looks like everyone's crowding around..Better go see for myself what the hub-ub is…'
Due to his height, Lucifer had to shove his way through just to get to the front. When he got there he saw Katie Killjoy and Tom Trench going over the news(as always), though he couldn't help but feel something was different about today's report.
"And up next we have a very stunning story coming up! A new photo has been running viral since the other night! Apparently, Lilith has been getting frisky with arch-angel Micheal judging by this picture found on Voxstagram!"
"It appears that way!" Trench added,"You see, a girl uploaded a photo of several photos of them sleeping in a bed together! And it looks pretty obvious they got chummy together if you get what I'm saying! We could be having a new heir to the throne on the way! Looks like Charlie's gonna be a big sister soon!"
As Tom said this, several photos of Lilith and Micheal laying next to each other. Lucifer's eye twitched rapidly at the sight and used every ounce of patience within his body to not lose his shit, just barely keeping himself from transforming into his demonic form on instinct.
He didn't bother to pay attention to what Tom and Katie said afterwards, only focusing on the report that affected him personally.
Seeing his wife getting snugly with some random demon was something he could get over as both of them were rather polyamorous outside of their marriage, but his brother? That was too far and the fact they looked similar was definitely not helping his mood. He was already annoyed at his hangover and his limo being destroyed Micheal fucking his wife was just icing on the cake.
'Micheal...you son of a bitch!'
"Hey!" one demon shouted, grabbing him by the shoulder,"You're hogging the view! Get out of the way dammit!"
Lucifer's neck snapped in the person's direction, his eyes turning red and horns protruding from his skull in an instant. All the other demons gasped in terror upon seeing him in this form, one shouting,"HOLY SHIT! IT'S LUCIFER! RUN!"
Everyone started running away, though the person who touched Lucifer didn't get far as he quickly used his powers to drag them back. He narrowed his eyes at them before calmly saying,"You've got some nerve to touch me….Normally I'd kill you...but I have bigger things to deal with so I'll just throw you in a pit until I feel like tossing you out…"
Without another word, Lucifer snapped his fingers and threw that person in a pit, ignoring their screams as the portal closed up. Sighing, he then directed his attention towards a nearby taxi and decided to pay for a ride and gave the driver extra so that they would floor it with no questions asked….
When Alastor woke up to the worst hangover imaginable. His body felt like it had been wrecked and his ass hurt like hell.'Ugh...what the hell happened to me? Where am I?" When he looked around, he knew this wasn't his room and it appeared to belong to someone else.
He stiffened up when he realized the pillow he was laying against was far too fleshy for his standards and when he looked up, he nearly jumped out of his skin when he realized he and Vincent were both lying against her chest.
Alastor bolted upright, his ears now shooting upwards in alert, eyes wide with shock. When he looked downwards, he noticed he was completely naked and could tell just from looking at the other two they were as well.
"What happened to us!? How did we end up like this?' He then tried to focus on what happened last night. Truthfully, it was a blur and he couldn't make out anything at first, but eventually he managed to make out what happened the other night, it all came flooding back to him…
They all had sex...He could remember both of them having their way with Vanny. He remembered putting his length in her mouth while Vincent took her from behind.
Vincent however, decided that he wasn't satisfied with messing with one person.
He went as far as to shove himself down Al's throat without much of a warning and yanked on his ear tufts whenever Alastor was going too slow for his liking. He was ramming his way down so fast that every time he went in he was triggering Alastor's gag reflex whenever he bucked his hips and only stopped once he released.
And then there was the fact Vincent fucked him from behind and it was the part he remembered the most vividly.
Vincent was very rough with those who were on the receiving end of his advances and even when Alastor berated him for being rough, he barely flinched in response, only slowing down for a few moments to give Al time to adjust before going right back to slamming into him at full-speed. The only reason Alastor wasn't screaming was because Vanny decided to not miss out on the fun and let him 'eat' her out, pretty much muffling any words he could say, grabbing his ear tufts at whim and yanking along with Vincent, taking one ear while he took the other.
The most embarrassing part in his opinion was that he could still remember screaming their names several times during the encounter and the last thing he could recall was Vincent muttering things to both of them in german before ultimately exhausting himself.
'What...What have I done?' Alastor was downright mortified at the sight, the realization dancing on him. He had just lost his virginity to two people, one was a selfie addicted eighteen year old girl and the other was a reincarnation of his rival….
You could imagine that they were one of the last people he imagined having sex with.
He had no plans on ever having sex but even if he did, this was not what he had in mind….
By now, he was cursing Husk for escalating the situation, as the game hadn't gotten that out of hand until he got involved. Now Alastor found himself in a predicament he wasn't certain how to get out of, especially since he wasn't getting out of this the same way he was.
``Now what do I do?' He thought to himself, uncertain what his next move was. Truthfully, Alastor didn't want to confront either of them, especially about the situation at hand. The best move in his mind was to pretend this one night stand hadn't happened and that it was all a dream.
He then noticed his clothes were on the floor and reluctantly got out of bed, hoping that he'd be able to sneak out of the room undetected with his clothes. As he was about to leave, Vincent stirred from his slumber, yawned before rubbing his eyes,"Hm? What's going on?
'Dammit!" Alastor cursed his luck, quickly using his bundle of clothes as a type of cover so Vincent didn't see his private area. He knew it served no point since Vincent already saw it anyway, but he still wanted to retain whatever dignity he had left in him this time around.
Vincent paused for a moment when he saw Alastor standing there, blinking in disbelief as he said,"Uh...Al? Why are you naked? And why are you limping?"
"Take a wild guess…"
It took a moment before his memories came surging back as well,"Oh...god...Did we?"
"Yes...All three of us did…"
"No...No way. This has gotta be a dream…"
"Oh trust me, I wish this was a dream. However my sore backside disagrees with you…" Alastor grumbled, still feeling sore from the other night.
"I wasn't that rough was I?"
"Oh yes you were. It's a miracle you didn't do any serious damage with how fast you were thrusting into me. With my luck I'll be sore for at least a week thanks to you…"
"Hey, don't act like it's all my fault. Take some responsibility yourself…"
"Oh my fucking god, what are you two shouting about?" Vanny grumbled, rising from her pillow with an annoyed look on her face,"Seriously, can't a girl sleep without some assholes bickering? What's the big idea anyway?"
"You know what the big idea is, Vanny! Don't you remember what we did last night?"
"For the most part, yeah. We fucked, big whoop. What's the problem?"
"That's precisely the problem! And if anything, this entire situation is your fault! We wouldn't even be here if you hadn't made us play that stupid truth or dare game! Now look at what happened!"
"This ain't my fault," Vanny shot back,"We all consented to play the game, you should've known something like this would happen."
Alastor scoffed,"How the hell was I supposed to know this would happen!? There was no indication that things would go this way, you can't just pin this on me!"
"If you kept up to date with things you'd know that truth or dare can get out of hand, especially when alcohol is involved. Shit like this happens all the time. Though I dont get why you're so pissy, what crawled up your ass and made you so whiny?"
"Wouldn't you stop speaking like that? You're making it worse!"
Vanny snickered,"Oh I see. You're just mad cuz Vincent fucked you hard in the ass aren't you?"
"VANNY! QUIT SAYING IT LIKE THAT!"
"What? I'm just pointing out the obvious? It's pretty clear you're just mad that Vincent fucked you hard last night. Or was it because you were on the receiving end of the stick? Would you be this whiny had you fucked him instead? Cuz I'm sure Vincent would let ya if you just asked…"
"VANNY!"
"What? You're not saying otherwise. Besides, I don't get what your problem is, both of you fucked me and you don't see me complaining! Hell, I'm just peachy!" To prove her point, Vanny stood up out of bed, standing tall and stark naked without a sign of pain.
"How are you-"
"It ain't my first rodeo. I may not be like Val where I fuck people all the time, but I've been without enough guys to know my way around," She then nudged him,"Trust me, it hurts like a bitch the first time but you get used to it after a while. Sure, your ass probably won't feel the same ever again, but it was probably worth it, am I right?"
Alastor scoffed,"You and I have very different definitions of worth it…."
"So what now?" Vincent asked,"Are we just going to pretend this never happened?"
"I'd prefer it that way personally," Alastor admitted,"I don't mean anything bad when I say this, but this clearly wasn't supposed to happen. We were drunk out of our minds and did something impulsive. I have nothing against you two but it'd be better if we put this behind us and acted like nothing happened…"
"Al, there's no way any of us are forgetting what happened the other night…"
"I'll try my damned hardest to try," He assured,"Even if I can't, it'd be best if we put this to the back of our minds. Regardless of what happened, relationship wise, nothing has changed between the three of us. We're still friends, nothing more, nothing less…"
"Aw, you sure? I mean, we could always do this again…" Vanny said.
Alastor shook his head,"No. This was a one time thing. Trust me, whatever fun we had the other night stays there and I'm most certainly not going to be on the receiving end of another person anytime soon. Not to mention the smell of bodily fluids bothers me…" He then sniffed his body,"Speaking of which, we should probably clean ourselves up. We reek of sex and I'd prefer to get this...stuff off of me sooner rather than later…"
"Eh, fair point. I guess we should clean up, though do you two wanna join me in the shower?"
"VANNY! NO!"
"Ugh, fine,Al, you're no fun," She pouted,"Though the offer is still on the table, Vincent. Wanna come over?"
"Er….no thanks. We've done enough fooling around, we should try and go about our day as usual…"
"Suit yourself. Just give a signal if you wanna have a good time…" Vanny then picked up her clothes before entering the bathroom.
ALastor sighed, he was planning on going to a different part of the mansion and bathed to get the smell off, but Vincent then said,"Hey Al, wait…"
"Hm? What is it now?"
"Look, I just want to ask something. It's about what happened last night…"
"What about it? I thought we agreed we were going to move on from that…"
"I know it's just that...Do you remember when it all started? Back when I thought you were a woman?"
Alastor paused,"I remember...What about it?"
"I remember thinking about how you were beautiful and honestly, even though I'm not drunk anymore, I still do. I just wanted to let you know I still think you're attractive and that it wasn't just the drinks screwing with my mind…"
He stared at him for the longest time before mumbling,"Err...thanks for informing me...Though I really should get going. See you later…"
Without another word, Alastor quickly scampered off, Vincent sighing in defeat,"Nice going, Vincent. You scared him off...Now he's probably even more uncomfortable around me than before. I just hope this one night stand doesn't screw with our friendship. I know Vanny is cool with it but I don't think Al likes it, at least not when he's not in control of himself…Oh well, better go clean myself up as well…"
Vincent got his clothes before going to the bathroom that Vanny entered and went inside the shower to see her.
"Oh hey, Vincent, finally changed your mind?" She asked with a smile, winking when he entered the shower with her.
"Yeah I did…" He replied,"I figured I'd see how you were doing and I did feel a bit lonely when Al left…"
"Lemme guess, he left the moment he could…"
"Almost. I stopped him long enough to tell him something though I think I might've scared him off afterwards," He admitted,"I didn't mean any harm, I just didn't want him to think I only liked him because I mistook him for a girl…"
"Aw, don't worry, I'm sure Al doesn't care about that. I think he's just still coming to terms with the whole sex thing, especially because of we are, or in your case, who you used to be…"
Vincent narrowed his eyes,"I'm not-"
"I know. And I think Al knows as well...it's just that you're so much like him that he probably isn't fully comfortable with the idea with you. Just remember that it's nothing against you as a person…"
He nodded, becoming silent as they took a shower together. Neither said anything afterwards, though they did help each other bathe, cleaning themselves off with soap and water in order to rid themselves of the smell.
Vincent looked down at the shorter demoness, gazing at her face. He hadn't ever seen her without her makeup before but she did look rather beautiful.
He never noticed it that much before due to her trying to keep up the clown aesthetic, but since the water had washed her makeup away and gave him the opportunity to see what she really looked like.
'She's…beautiful…'
She then said,"Hey Vincent, can you wash my back?"
"Y-Yeah...Totally…" He mumbled, doing his best to avoid making eye-contact with her.
"Vincent, I know you're looking at my ass, you don't gotta pretend," She teased,"Seriously, I can feel your eyes on me. It's super obvious…"
"I wasn't-"
"Sure you weren't…look, if you're gonna stare at my backside, at least scrub the right place dammit. Go higher…" He moved higher,"Yep. Right there, now keep scrubbing…"
Vincent made a face, it felt like he was being her personal boy-toy but he decided not to bring it up. He had a lot on his mind and he didn't want to trip over himself before he got out of the shower…
Still, he could just feel that something was to come. It was his holy senses kicking in, but the part that made him nervous was he didn't know what it was…
The most awkward moment in history had taken place the second Lilith and Micheal made eye-contact with each other when they woke up. Truthfully, Lilith didn't realize it was Micheal in the bed at first, at least until she noticed that he lacked Lucifer's signature blush stickers. When she woke him up, they realized what happened instantly.
Neither of them had moved for a while, nor did they say anything either. They were just too shocked to really speak up on that front and Lilith wasn't going to lie, she knew they had fucked up big-time.
"Lilith?"
"Yes, Micheal?"
"Did we really-"
"Yes…"
"Oh...I was still hoping we hadn't. I...I still don't get how this happened…"
"Easy, we were drunk and you looked enough like my husband for my drunk self to believe you were actually him. Though that does bring into question where Lucifer is…"
"Who knows? All I know is that he's going to be very upset with us when he sees us again…"
"Well that's to be expected. Had you been any other man I doubt Lucifer would bat an eye but since you two have...history together, he might actually be a bit cranky this time around." Lilith and Lucifer had an open relationship as while they did love each other greatly, whenever the other wasn't around they saw different people.
Normally, neither cared who the other was screwing but Lilith would have to be a damn fool to think Lucifer would let this slide. He'd probably react better if it was anyone but Micheal, who was the one who banished him to Hell all those years ago in the Rebellion.
"So what should we do now?"
"Probably get our clothes on. Perhaps if we clean ourselves up and pretend this never happened we can act as if this never occurred…."
"Agreed…"
They quickly got out of bed, respectively exiting out on different sides. They used their powers to clothe themselves while Lilith specifically used her magic to replace the bed and get rid of the smell so as to make it look like nothing had occurred."That should do it…"
"Do you think the others will ask about this?"
"I mean, why would they? As long as nobody saw anything, we should be in the clear. And if they do, it should be easy to resolve…"
Needless to say, the moment Micheal and Lilith exited the door, Charlie was outside with a worried look on her face along with Vaggie. She then shouted,"Mom! Uncle!"
They jumped for a moment, Lilith staring at her daughter in bemusement,"Oh hey, Charlie. Is something wrong? You look upset…"
Charlie didn't respond at first, touching her mom's body at first, as if she was trying to check something. Lilith blinked when she noticed her daughter touching her stomach and asked,"Charlie, what are you doing?"
"I'm checking…"
"Checking what exactly?"
"For any sign of the baby!"
"THE WHAT NOW!?" Micheal screeched, all color draining from his face at the notion of Lilith being pregnant."WHAT BABY!?"
"Didn't you hear? The guys on the news said that Lilith was pregnant with your kid! The news spread all over Hell and everyone's expecting a new baby!" Vaggie shouted.
There was a moment of silence before Micheal straight up fainted from shock, his body twitching on the ground.
"UNCLE! NO!"
Vaggie cringed,"Shit, he fainted. Guess he's not ready to be a father…"
'Acting like he would be anyway…' Lilith decided to bite her tongue and save it, choosing to pick Micheal up instead."Oh well, better pick him up…"
Thanks for 11,597 views, tell me what you think below!
Enigmus-288: Yeah, I fixed it. Fucking misclicked I think... I have no idea how that happened but my finger probably slipped. It's fixed though so now it's all better.
Mitsuru6: fixed it and by the time this chapter is out, it should be fixed. I don't know what the FUCK happened but I probably misclicked on accident. Yeah I didn't plan on writing a sex scene but I figured I'd at least give something since I didn't wanna cringe anyone out(we all know me writing that would be bad when it comes to going into details) so this was the best I could do.