Volastor sighed as he pulled the lamp shade off of Velvet's head when he found her. His girlfriend had gotten so drunk she literally fell in the bathtub knocking down the door with her axe. He had the feeling that she and Angel caused the most amount of damage, ignoring Arackniss and Husk's fight over the booze.
"Seriously, Velvet?" He then shook her awake, causing her to look around,
"Huh? What happened to me?"
"You fell in the bathtub after you ran around like a crazy person…It's a miracle you didn't hurt yourself…"
"Aw don't be like that, Vol! I've been through way worse, trust me!"
"That still doesn't make it a good thing. I knew involving a game with drinks was a bad idea. Not only is the mansion a mess, but everyone else is staggering to their feet. Not to mention the whole news report…"
"What news report?"
"Apparently Lilith and Micheal...had fun together, likely while they were drunk. Everyone's expecting a baby to come around and I'm certain Lucifer is going to have a tantrum over it the moment he gets back here. And that doesn't even mention what Al, Vincent and Vanny did…"
"What'd they do?"
"You know...They….did things the other night. I don't know why she did it, but Niffty uploaded those pictures on her account and now they're trending. Everyone's talking about it and it's doubtful we'll be hearing the end of this one anytime soon."
"Do you think they know?"
"Probably. Though given how Al usually doesn't like walking TV, he might not be aware of how this little incident caught the attention of the public. Honestly, I feel bad for him, he's going to so embarrassed when he realizes all of Hell found out he had sex with those two…"
"Aw man! I missed out on the hot scoop! I can't believe that cyclops girls stole the glory before I could get it! No fair!"
"Is that seriously what you're focused on!? Velvet, this is serious!"
"I know, I seriously missed out on potential views!"
Vol facepalmed,"Ugh...Why do I even try with you again?"
"Cuz you love me?"
"Unfortunately…"
"Vol, there's no need to be like that! You know I'm just joking!"
"I'd prefer you not do so in a time like this. Right now we should focus on checking on everyone. Especially since it's been too quiet…"
Suddenly they heard Angel scream from outside,"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" There was then a sickening crack when he landed on the floor, causing them to turn their heads around.
"Angel? Are you alright?"
"Doing just peachy, just fell off the fucking balcony! Now do something dammit, my arm fucking broke!"
Vol sighed,'Yup. Definitely regretting having those drinks right about now…Because now this is what we have to deal with...'
Meanwhile...
Micheal's eyes opened, groaning in agony when someone tossed a bucket of water on him,"ARGH! What's going on? What's happening!? Why am I wet!?"
"Because I poured a bucket of water on you, sleeping beauty…" Lucifer said flatly, giving his brother a look,"You weren't waking up so I had to pour water on you in return…"
"Brother? How did you get here?"
"I took a taxi back home after I crashed my car," He retorted,"Also, before you ask, you've been unconscious for fifteen minutes…"
Micheal shot him a glare,"Still, was it necessary to pour water on me!? Now I'm soaked!"
Lucifer scoffed before grabbing Micheal by the collar, baring his fangs,"Oh get over yourself! It's hardly anything that bad, especially considering what you fucking did the other night with my wife!"
"It was an accident! We were both drunk!" Micheal hissed,"Seriously, do you think for a second either of us would've done that if we were sober!?"
"It hardly matters now, especially since everyone's under the impression that my wife will be having another child! Do you not see how problematic that is!? A kid whose parents are from two different realms, the amount of politics involved is going to be astronomical! You just better hope that Lilith isn't actually pregnant or else we're going to have a massive problem on our hands!"
"Dad!" Charlie whined,"There's no need to be so violent!"
"Charlie, do you not understand what the problem is!? Micheal just fucked your mother and we could be dealing with another hybrid running around house soon! The only difference is that it's Micheal's kid and not mine!"
"I know but we don't know for sure! We gotta wait for the test to come back. It could be negative…"
"And if it isn't?"
"We won't know for sure until mom comes back. Let's at least try to be positive about this, Dad. It's not all bad, even if she is pregnant a new member to the family isn't a bad thing. I always wanted a sibling so this doesn't seem too bad!"
"Easy for you two say, Charlie. If you were in my shoes you'd be very against this…" He then looked at Micheal,"You better hope that damn test is negative, Micheal, else this is falling on you…"
Micheal grit his teeth before making a nervous face.
Vaggie whipped around at the sound of footsteps coming closer,"Guys, she's coming…"
Everyone held their breath in anticipation when Lilith stepped out with a bemused expression on her face. She then pointed at the pregnancy test in her hands and said,"It's positive…"
Nobody moved for some time, freezing up in shock. Lucifer and Micheal's worlds nearly collapsed on themselves, the former was burning up with resentment while the latter was five seconds away from fainting again.
"Are you fucking serious!?" Lucifer shouted,"Lilith, that can't be right! Do it again!"
"Lucifer, there's no denying the test. I did it multiple times, they all came out positive," She admitted, clearly just as shocked as they were.
"I...I can't believe it...I'm going to be a...father?" Micheal was barely able to stand, his pale somehow turning paler by the second, dizziness clouding his mind. He felt like he was going to faint again and probably would've had it not been for the shock keeping him upright.
"YAY!" Charlie squealed, catching them all off guard,"NEW SIBLING!"
"Charlie! There's no 'yay' in this situation! This is BAD! VERY BAD!" Lucifer hissed,How did this even happen, Lilith!? You had sex with other guys and yet you never got pregnant! What gives? I thought you used your magic to prevent yourself from getting pregnant years ago!"
"I did. Perhaps it wore off, or in this instance, Micheal just managed to break past that barrier. In all honesty, I can't say I'm too surprised by this. I didn't believe it at first, but now it all makes sense. This isn't the first time this has happened…"
"What?" Vaggie asked,"But this the first time you and Micheal had sex, how could this have happened before?"
"I mean in terms of a situation. After all, how do you think Charlie got here? Lucifer and I didn't plan on having a child but it just happened. I think any magic I inflict on myself becomes null when angels are involved, at least in terms of pregnancy because no demon I had sex with got me pregnant."
Charlie paused,"Wait...so I was in an accident?"
"Accident is a bit of a harsh word….The word surprise fits better," Lucifer said,"We didn't plan on having you but when it came down to it, we accepted your birth. Still, I'm not certain how we're going to pull ourselves out of this one. It's one thing to have an unplanned baby, but for the baby to come from another man that doesn't hail from our realm is another issue entirely. Perhaps we should try...getting rid of the child."
"What!? Getting rid of the baby? Why!?" Charlie whined.
"Charlie, you know that baby isn't supposed to exist. If that child enters the world we'll have another problem on our hands. It's bad enough there's the existence of timeline hopping and fusions, the last thing we need is Micheal's baby entering the realm and causing problems for us just by existing."
"Lucifer, the baby is staying…"
"What!? Why? You don't even want the child, Lilith!"
"I never said I didn't want it. I just said I didn't expect to have another baby. I thought that second spell was fool-proof but I guess you and your family are able to circumvent these things without much effort. I know you're upset at your brother, but don't take it out on the baby. They didn't ask to be made…"
"But what about our reputation!? That baby is going to cause a bunch of controversy and we have enough issues as it is! That doesn't even go into the fact that Micheal doesn't know how to parent in the first place!"
"He can learn…"
"Are you kidding me? Him? The guy who literally fainted and remained unconscious for over fifteen minutes just at the notion you were pregnant? Do you really think he's qualified for this?"
"Lucifer!" Micheal hissed,"I'm standing right here! Just because I got dizzy doesn't mean I can't parent! If you can raise Charlie, surely I'm just as capable of raising a child!"
"Considering how you reacted to Lilith being pregnant, I have my doubts on that. Not to mention how the hell are we going to explain this to other arch-angels anyway? Heaven has access to Hell's broadcasts and it's likely they're already aware of the baby and I doubt they're going to be happy about this one bit!"
"So what should we do then?" Vaggie asked,"Since the baby is here to stay, what's the game-plan for raising them? Are you just going to raise the baby in Heaven or Hell? Because I doubt these two would concede and let the baby stay in one realm…."
"We'll figure that out when we get there," Lilith said.
"So we're just going to wait nine months for the baby to come and figure things out from there?"
"Nine months?" Lilith chuckled,"Oh Vaggie, we don't have to wait that long. A month at least, but certainly not nine…"
"Wait what?"
"Lilith's body is altered to where her reproductive system is sped up. While it would take a normal demon and a human to have a child in nine months naturally, Lilith can have a child in less than two months and have them come out in pristine condition."
"So I'm gonna be a big sister in like a month!" Charlie jumped up in the air,"Yahoo! I'm gonna be a big sister! This is so exciting!"
Meanwhile, Micheal was sweating bullets. Things were going way too fast and it was like the world was spinning fifty miles per hour.'Oh god...I'm going to be a father? I can't believe it...I'm having a child with my brother's wife…This can't be real..'
Truthfully, Micheal didn't know what to do with himself. His siblings would no doubt be very angry at him. Not only had he left for a long period of time without telling them, but now a baby he created was going to be born in Lucifer's realm? There was no doubt something would be done about this and he feared what their reaction would be when they saw the broadcast. Even if they were an entire realm apart, Micheal knew his siblings were more than capable of effecting things just from above…
Suddenly, Micheal noticed a magical presence from above come over him, everyone backing away in surprise when he started screaming when it engulfed him entirely, black aura surrounding his figure.
When the darkness subsided, Micheal looked...different. His suit had changed to a black and gold color and his wreath had turned black in color. The gold cross on the back of his suit had turned upside down, all traces of white had vanished from his outfit. That didn't even mention the fact he had formed blushed stickers and had gold eye-shadow on. He had pink blush-stickers on his face as well, looking almost identical to his brother. His wings were exposed and were black as night with gold tips at the end.
"What the? What happened to me?" He asked, now looking down at himself in horror,"What's going on? Why do I look like...this? Oh god, how am I ever going to return to heaven looking like this!?"
"Micheal.." Lucifer started,"What heaven thinks of you should be the least of your concerns...Right now, you should be more worried about what you do from here…"
"What? What do you mean by that? Heaven is my realm, Lucifer, I can't stay here!"
"That's not an option anymore, brother. Because from the looks of your newfound appearance, our other siblings found out about your little affair and decided to punish you by stranding you here for the time being…"
"What!? They can't do that! They can't just strand me in this god awful realm! I need to go back!" Micheal tried to teleport back to Heaven, only to find that something was preventing him from crossing, a magical force was holding him back."I...I can't teleport! Something's restricting me to pit!"
"The others probably used their combined powers to ensure you couldn't pass the barrier. They did the same thing to me and though I never attempted to go back to Heaven, they probably figured you'd try and acted ahead of time to stop you from crossing."
"So Uncle's banished forever?" Charlie asked worriedly.
"Most likely. They don't exactly tell Micheal when he's welcome back into their ranks, but it's likely they won't be uplifting his banishment anytime soon. And that's assuming they'd even let him back into Heaven in the first place that is…"
Vaggie scowled,"But he didn't even do anything that bad! It's not like he outright rebelled or anything, he just had sex with someone while he was drunk! This is a huge overreaction!"
"My siblings have this tendency to overreact, especially when it comes to our affairs. It's likely that Micheal won't be let back into the golden gates anytime soon and that until they change their minds, he's basically stuck here. And I don't think Micheal can reverse his appearance on his own either…"
He said this while looking at Micheal, who seemed to be attempting to change back to no avail."I...I can't change back! It's like some type of curse! I can't undo it!"
"Probably because it is a curse, Micheal. It's likely the others wanted to alter your appearance so that you could remember your 'punishment'. Given they admit you look even more similar to me than before, they probably wanted to hammer in the fact that you fell from grace just like I did…Ironic given you're the one who sent me down here for rebelling in the first place…"
"I get it, Lucifer. You don't need to rub it in..." Micheal growled,"But what does that have to do with me now? How am I supposed to get back!? I can't stay down here for all eternity!"
"What about grandpa? Don't you think we can ask him to tell the other angels to quit it? I mean, this is so unfair! The punishment is way too severe!"
"I wouldn't trust my Father to intervene. He usually keeps to himself and lets things happen nowadays. He only intervenes when he feels like doing so. If he really wanted to do something he wouldn't even let Micheal get like this…"
"So that's it?" Vaggie said,"Micheal's gonna be banished forever...or at least until the others feel like ending his 'punishment'?"
"That sounds about right. Assuming they even accept Micheal back in, they'll no doubt be holding this over his head once they feel like he's been punished enough. Though I wouldn't expect that to happen anytime soon…"
Micheal narrowed his eyes when he felt Lucifer put his hand on his shoulder, giving him a wide grin.
"What are you smiling about this time, Lucifer?"
"Just welcoming you to the 'fallen angel' club. You're not the person to be banished from Heaven...I suggest making yourself at home, you're going to be here for a while…" He then whispered,"By the way, there are wafer cookies at the left counter.."
"What!?"
"Hey, I'm just trying to get you acquainted, especially since you and I are going to be interacting a lot more now that you don't have any pearly gates to look forward to for the time being…"
It was at that moment that Micheal started to wonder if his father had forsaken him by now...because it sure did feel like it.
Volastor sighed, he and Velvet had spent a good portion of their time trying to reorganize the mansion and keep the residents in line. Everyone was still hung over and Vol and Velvet had done their best to ensure nobody ended up falling off their rockers while cleaning up the mansion to the best of their ability.
"Ugh...this is ridiculous. Why does everything have to go wrong today? This place is an utter war-zone and the others can barely stand…"
"I thought you'd be used to the chaos by now, Vol…"
"No matter how many crazy things happen I doubt I'll ever truly get used to it," Vol replied wearily,"It's simply not who I am. You may be used to the craziness but I'm not…"
Velvet seemed ready to respond when Alastor suddenly walked down the steps,"Hello you two, what's going on down here?"
"Nothing really, just trying to clean up from last night and keep everything in order," Vol admitted, folding his arms over his chest.
"So how was it?" Velvet asked.
"How was what, Velvet?"
"The sex!"
Volastor scowled,"Velvet! You don't just ask someone that! That's indecent!"
"What? I want details, dammit! Come on, Al, you gotta tell me what you did the other night! Please go into detail, I need specifics!"
Alastor became flustered,"Erm...I'd rather not…"
"Aw why not?"
"One, it's personal information. Second of all, I'd rather not recollect the moment i lost my virginity in front of you or Vol, it's a touchy subject and I'd prefer to not talk about it…"
"Hey, don't act like we're kids. I mean, what's the big deal? It's not your shielding Vol's innocence or anything, we were gonna have sex in the other timeline until you barged in like manic, I don't get why he can't hear this."
"It's weird! Seriously, he's like a son to me, I don't want Vol to hear about what I did! That's disgusting!"
"Well Vol just cover his ears and you can tell me!"
"Not interested either way, Velvet. Besides, how do you even know about this!? Did you take a picture of us!?"
"Pfft, if it was me I wouldn't be asking you for details. No, your cyclops friend ended up posting a picture of the aftermath and it hit the news. That shit's trending and everyone's losing it since it's the latest scoop…"
"Uh...Al? Are you alright?" Vol asked, noticing that Alastor had paled considerably.
"No...I'm far from alright actually. Not only did Niffty invade my privacy but now the REST OF HELL knows what I did last night! That's just embarrassing! I'm never going to live this down!"
"Hey, it's not all bad.." Vol said, trying to comfort him,"I mean, it could always be worse. She could've recorded the entire thing…"
"Honestly, she probably did," Velvet admitted,"Probably has it stored somewhere in a file nobody can get to so that she can watch it for her amusement. People do that shit all the time so it wouldn't shock me…"
Alastor cringed, the idea of Niffty having a video of him fucking and getting fucked wasn't something he wanted. The idea of confronting Niffty and demanding she delete any picture or footage of the event from her valuables wasn't out of the question. Even if it already spread, he didn't want her carrying that around after it spread like wildfire across the circles.
"Al, you look upset…"
"Because I am. I'm going to be talking with Niffty shortly about her behaviour..I cannot allow something like this to slide…"
Just then, Vincent and Vanny came downstairs with Vanny shouting,"OMG! We're trending, Al!"
"Unfortunately yes, we are…"
Vincent sighed,"How did that even happen? We slept together and now the next morning everyone already knows? What's going on?"
"Oh you can thank Niffty for that one. She uploaded that picture of us online and now we're never going to hear the end of it!"
"Figured as much. Though it looks like everyone's commenting on her pic and LMAO! Everyone's asking who topped! Hold on, I gotta tell everyone that Vincent dominated your ass real quick and hey-"
Alastor suddenly swiped her phone away before she could hit send,"Oh no you don't! You're not telling anyone anything about this! You're going to make it worse for us! People are going to think we're a couple thanks to this and you're going to add fuel to the fire!"
"A bit too late for that one, Al. That boat has long since sailed," Vanny said.
"What do you mean?"
"See for yourself! We already got a ship name in the works. Check the comments for yourself…"
Alastor then scrolled down using her phone and was astounded to see that she was right. People were legit commenting on ship names and asking who fucked who the other night. Hell, some thought they actually had a chance with Al himself now, much to his dismay.
"You've got to be kidding me...This is awful! We're never going to live this down! My reputation is definitely going down the drain after this one…"
"Al, chill, it isn't the end of the world. One trending picture ain't gonna kill ya. Besides, things will eventually simmer down, just give it five years or so…"
"FIVE YEARS!?" Alastor hissed,"Are you joking!? You expect me to wait five years for something that isn't even guaranteed? Are you insane!?"
"No, just being real with ya," She admitted, shrugging her shoulders,"Listen Al, I know you're not into high tech but you gotta understand how things work around here. It takes a while for the media to forget controversial shit and even then, they don't really forget. It's just put to the backburner until a new lead shows up and given people will have their eyes on us for a while, it's likely we'll be dealing with this for a bit. Best to go with the flow because trying to fight the current on social media is a losing battle in itself. Once something goes on the internet, it's history, now and forever."
He clenched his fist, he wanted to protest but remembered Vanny had more knowledge on modern social media than he did and if the Social Media Demon was telling you that this photo wouldn't truly die, you'd be best to believe her. Nothing down in Hell was truly forgotten and the existence of the internet made it impossible to hide things without some extreme effort on your part.
As much as Alastor wanted nothing more than to delete every trace photo, it was likely someone already had it stored in their computer somewhere and that even if it was removed from the general internet, someone would always have a copy of it lying around.
"This is a nightmare…" Alastor grumbled,"I'm never going to live this moment of my life down…"
Vincent put a hand on his shoulder,"Al,come on. You know there's nothing we can do about this. It's kind of out of our hands and the denizens of this pit are running with this story. Best to let it simmer down and hope for the best…"
The Radio Demon huffed as he met the taller male in the eyes,"That is if it ever simmers down at all, Vincent. The denizens of Hell never truly forget and the media will do their best to wring this story for all it's worth…"
"That's to be expected. These people only care about the stories that sell, even at the expense of everyone involved, I suppose that's just how things work down here unfortunately," Vol says," And while I understand your anger, Al, we can't do anything about it. News outlets are already running with the story and every demon and their mother is talking about it. It won't be going away anytime soon so the best choice of action you can take right now is to accept it and try to move on…"
Alastor sighed,"I'll try, but these new outlets aren't making it easy for me."
That and Alastor having to live with the two people he had intercourse with on a daily basis wasn't helping matters, making the situation even more awkward.
"Hey guys!" Charlie shouted,"We've been looking all over for you guys! My mom has such exciting news, she's pregnant again!"
Vanny snickered,"Damn, lemme guess, you and Lucifer finally decided to have another round in raising another kid?"
"Uh, not quite…" Lucifer said,"Because it isn't my child. It's Micheal's…"
"What? It's true?" Vol asked,"You two actually managed to have a child? And it's going to be living among us in nine months?"
"One month actually. I can have a fully formed baby inside my stomach in less time than it would take a normal person…"
"Ugh, does Micheal even know how to take care of a child?"
"Not really," Lucifer admitted,"But he has plenty of time, especially since he'll be staying with us for a while now that Heaven doesn't want him anymore…"
"Wait what?" Vincent asked,"How could they not want him? He's literally their king, how can they just kick him out?"
"News spread about the baby and apparently my other siblings didn't like that. They decided to act on their own accord by trapping Micheal and ensuring he cannot leave Hell, meaning that neither you or him can leave if that's what you're wondering…"
Vincent tensed,"Oh…"
"I'm sorry, Vincent. I wish I hadn't dragged you into this but now that I'm fallen, we can't leave this realm anymore."
"It's alright…" He said, patting the angel on the shoulder,"Regardless, there's nothing we can really do about the issue. Who knows, maybe your siblings will let you back in eventually…"
"Who knows when it will eventually be though. That could be years," Vaggie admitted,"I mean, I get Micheal fucked up but this is such a major overreaction and I have the feeling they won't let this go for a while. Our best bet is hoping they change their minds soon because otherwise we'll be playing the long game…"
"They can't ignore the issue," Lucifer growled,"No matter what, they cannot ignore us forever. One way or another, this issue will be addressed. Though it's likely they'll try to prolong the inevitable and with no way of us getting back to Heaven, we'll have to find another way to confront them since they cut off contact from us completely."
"And the baby?"
"We'll wait for Lilith to have the child, though what happens afterwards is up in the air…"
Everyone gave each other weary stares, uncertain what to do from there. Micheal lowered his head in defeat,'Lord have mercy on us all…'
Thanks for 11,673 views, tell me what you think below!
Enigmus-288: Yeah Micheal kind of a has a giant problem now...this chapter makes that really obvious now. At least Vol's issues were mainly because of trauma and were more emotional based, this is a bit different...
Mitsuru6: Poly ship time lol. We got RadioStaticDoll in the house and I hope this chapter suffices.
Conner Man: Yeah Micheal kind of is in a super bad position right now. Wouldn't want to be him right now either...