A/N: I really hope this is posted before Halloween. Been a bit busy and hadn't had time to sit down and write so hopefully this will seem a little rushed. Also hope writing and reading a western themed fic isn't awkward after what happened at the 'Rust' movie set if that makes sense.

Invader Johny: Thank you! I'm a little rusty on my spanish so I'm not going to go too much into their ancestry or have them speak too much of it but I thought it would suit them to this place and time period.

Zim'sMostLoyalServant: IZ through the ages are mostly rough drafts of ideas I have for the future. Glad to know I successfully polished this up a bit. I do have a bit more about Membrane's past planned. I've never written him much into my past fics but thanks to Enter the Florpus we got to see more of his character. There's going to be a bit more detail about all the characters' backgrounds to fit them in better in the west and tie with the plot.

DannyPhantomPhan17: Yes, I do plan on this being a full series. I hope you're enjoying it.

This chapter really did not come out as I had hoped. Really it's just a filler chapter before the main plot gets going.

Hot air hangs like a dead man

From a white oak tree

People sitting on porches

thinking how things used to be

dark night

it's a dark night - Dark Night by The Blasters.

From Dusk till dawn has a great soundtrack :)

Raucous laughter and clinking glasses filled the room. Despite the volume that might interrupt one's thoughts, this was actually a peaceful scene for Bloaty's Saloon & Inn. Dib ignored it as he drank another shot of whiskey. A few lady's of the night flit about the room and clung on to the men at the back. Dib didn't indulge in such behavior. The only one that held a slight interest to him was Zita as he had a slight crush on her back in the day when they were children. Then she had avoided him as many of the other children had back then but it's nice to have someone to talk to. But he knew her interest was in his pockets not him. And tonight he wasn't interested in talking. He just wanted to get intoxicated enough to help ease the stinging and pain in the wounds where Zim's weapon had grazed him.

He could feel eyes boring into his back, some of the people already learning of the well and the walk they would have to travel to the closest one which was near his home. Dib expected some vandalism in the upcoming future. Sure some of the townsfolk were just smart enough to understand they didn't want to get sick from the water. But what in the Sam-Hill was wrong with everybody else? On the sign he posted next to the well, he cited that a cholera outbreak traced to it which was why it was boarded up. Cholera and typhoid was a problem here. Had he said the reason he had to board up the well was a space monster had put an alien parasite in the water, he'd be dragged out of town.

Dib wondered if some these people were to stupid to know what dysentery was or if they were willing to get it just to spite him. He ordered another shot.

"I just don't understand it, Bloaty." Dib started, not caring about the vacant look on the bartender's face, "I'm running around every day, stopping this or that robbery or putting a stop to another gunfight. And what do I get?"

"Not one thank you," Dib continued, "I mean it's not like I expect one. That's not why I took up the badge. Knowing everyone is safe for a moment is enough reward. But maybe these people could at least acknowledge some of the dangers here. Remember when I stopped that skinwalker that nearly killed a quarter of the town? No one believed me! Even with the corpses lying around town that we had to bury!"

Dib took a swig and continued to vent, even if he was talking to just himself at this point, "How many times have I stopped Zim? I mean, yeah, he's good at fooling everyone. Makes me look like a damn fool at every turn. He takes up so much of my time. I could have caught el apuesto bandido by now if it weren't for him. I know, a lot of people think he isn't even real, just some tall tale villain. But I know he's real. He's got to be somewhere in the west. And if it wasn't for Zim I would have caught him by now.."

He gave a deep sigh, "But I can't just ignore Zim. He's like a rattlesnake in your home. You know it's dangerous and it's close. Best know where it is and what it's doing before it sneaks up and bites you."

Dib now realizing he may have overdone it with the whiskey was in the middle of trying to decide whether to rent a room upstairs and deal with the uncomfortable sounds one would expect to hear in a place such as this or he could walk back to the jail and sleep it off in one of the cots. Walking while feeling this woozy was an equally unappealing idea.

Suddenly he realized everything was silent. There was no drunk laughter or no arguments over poker. Only a sudden sound of a glass being dropped. Dib turned to see what had caused this reaction in the room and froze himself.

Zim.

Never had he come in here before. His disgust of the establishment was well known. There had been an unspoken truth amongst the town. The saloon, despite the rowdy nature of the majority of the patrons, was a safe place. Dib's presence mostly kept fights from getting too out of hand. But outside? That's where Dib and Zim were bound to run into each other. Every time were in each other's presence everyone held their breath to see if all hell was to break loose. But here, where Zim never came, everyone could breathe a sigh of relief.

Seeing his presence here now seemed to have broken all the laws of nature.

The next sound to be heard was another breaking glass soon drowned out by the crack of thunder from outside. The whiskey that was in it stinging the shards in embedded Dib's hand.

An sense of dread filled everyone of the patrons. Dib's earlier assessment of their obliviousness was not completely unfounded but not completely accurate either. Did they believe Zim fell from the sky? No. But they knew something was odd and unnerving about him. Same with Dib. Zim and the entire Membrana clan seemed to have a hold on this town. Their presence could be annoying, mysterious, or sometimes even destructive. Whether they liked it or not, they were intrigued as much as they were frustrated by them. It was entertaining as well. One could only gossip about Miss Bitters' secret love life or butcher's bastard son Torque for so long before growing bored.

By now they thought they knew the story. The same play living itself out every other day. Two rivals, a never-ending fued. They knew the characters and the rules. They knew the ending to each incident between them always ended roughly the same. But something's different. The air had gotten thicker and heavier, a storm had been overdue. And it wasn't the storm that was currently pelting the poorly constructed building with rain. A collective premonition filled the room. This was an omen of more things to come. Things had been too routine for too long. Change was coming. And it was unwelcome.

Zim's POV

This place was just as disgusting as Zim remembers. The epitome of the cesspool that is the human race. Full of slobs, falling over themselves and disgusting females spreading their venereal diseases. The smell of cheap alcohol and body odor assaulted my senses. But coming here was a necessity. Zim was still locked out of his base and needed a place to wait out the night. I had considered making camp and trying to endure the elements but a wind picked up and Zim could smell rain on it. There was only one place in town that provided shelter and I decided I could face at least one night in that horrid place. I was Zim after all.

I tried to round up Gir but he had chased after a prairie dog and managed to dig himself in a tunnel. He'd be fine. Mini-Moose raced into town. Looking at the clouds flashing with lightning, I wished I had been able to fly my cruiser. The dirt and dust had been blowing in the wind and in Zim's face. I have grit in my teeth now... gross. I hate Earth. I arrived just as the first rain drop hit.

Immediate regret over my decision to come here hit me. Everyone had stopped to stare at the amazing Zim. While normally I liked the attention, I was not in the mood. My mood only soured more when my eyes landed on Dib, shaking with rage. I had wondered why he was not at his residence tonight. Should've figured he'd be here. Ignoring him, I commanded the service-drones for a room. As they left to prepare said room, I sat down at the bar and waited for the confrontation that surely was to come. Oh well, let him. Zim has a weapon of mass destruction waiting for him with the recent development of events.

As predicted, Dib got up and slammed his fist in front of Zim. I snickered as his face seemed to register pain. Apparently he just noticed his bleeding hand. He took a bottle of whiskey and a rag laying on the counter. He doused it with the whiskey and pulled out the shards using his mouth which later he used to help tie the rag around his hand. What pathetic first aid, no wonder the place where humans lay their dead is growing so quickly.

I smirked at him, choosing to speak first, "You'll get an infection like that, you know."

"Zim..." Dib hissed as if my glorious name was the most hated slur he could think of. I felt the same way about his, "How dare you show your face after what you pulled today!"

I glanced around the room and saw we were the center of attention, like we most often were. Honestly it was getting old. But this always worked to Zim's advantage. I gave a deep sigh, "Don't start your theatrics tonight, Dib. Zim is tired and just looking to acquire a room to hibernate in for the night."

"I'm going to say this again, Zim. You ain't welcome in here. This is a Zim-free zone." Dib spoke in a low voice, more menacing than I've ever heard him before. Perhaps it was that I was in his perceived turf. He's not going to like to find out where Zim was before this.

"This is a free establishment, is it not?" I directed this more at the pig-human behind the bar.

He drooled as he groaned, "It's welcome to anyone... and it makes me miserable."

I looked back at Dib, "See? Now if you please, Zim would like to order a drink and celebrate in peace."

"Celebrate what?" Dib asked angrily, "What did you do now?"

"Zim did nothing..." I started, speaking innocently, "I only wish to toast to my engagement."

This got the reaction I expected, whispering erupted behind me. Dib seemed to take a minute to register what I had just said. His confused face quickly going through several different emotions. He seemed to settle on disgust, "What in the hell are you planning now? You hate humans. What living human being would agree to that without you scrambling their brains like eggs?"

"Well, Zim supposes it's time you know," I feigned a deep sigh, "Your sister. Yes, I have just spoken with your parental unit and confessed the love-feelings we have for each other. And left with his full blessing."

The commotion was deafening. Some gasped, others screamed.

The voices were talking over each other.

"Zim... that creepy inventor guy getting married? I can't even get laid without paying!"

"That witch! How? She'd bite your head off if you so much as give her a daisy."

"That's his sister! When did this start?"

"God damn that's cold."

Dib snarled and grabbed my collar, "You're lying!"

"Go ask your father yourself."

"It was that thing that she picked up, wasn't it? You did something to her head with it, didn't you? I'm gonna skin you alive for this!"

"Please, Dib..." I spoke in the most sincere tone that I could muster, "Can't we just put the past behind us?...Brother?"

My irken speed helped me dodge Dib's punches. Someone behind me seemed to have wanted to join in and I ducked just before I was about to be hit in the back with a chair.

"You just don't go behind someone's back with their sister! That ain't right!" Torque yelled before he himself was punched by one of the females. Jessica, I think her name was, "Dib's the one who's been acting like a maniac!"

The large man landed on a table where a card game was being played. The men at that table turned livid and started to fight as well. I smiled with glee as complete chaos broke out. Zim had been trying to play to their sympathy for when the inevitable strike from Dib came, not start a complete brawl. Everyone seemed to be taking out their personal frustrations with each other, no longer caring about me or Dib at this point. The destruction was delicious, nearly making up for the horrible day Zim had. I looked around and saw Dib trying to head towards me only to jump back to avoid a flying chair. He glared at me, red with anger before seeming to decide to try to control the crowd instead. I took this moment to race upstairs before I got caught up on the cross-fire. A gun went off the moment I closed the door.

The shouts and screams went on for a while. Truly music to Zim's ears. But eventually things seemed to have died down and I was left to my own thoughts. I stared at the rain streaming down the window. As fun as that was, it does make things more complicated. Dib is going to more aggressive than ever. There's so much that needs to be done, it's going to be difficult with Dib breathing down my neck. Not to mention the Dib-Sister will probably be seeking violence against Zim. Let her. She will unlock my base though when it's all done.

This is going to be a difficult week. Hopefully I won't have to deal with either sibling too much before the wedding. If only there was another was to access the mines without having to go through with this stupid ritual. It still disgusts Zim that he will be viewed the demon-spawn's mate, much less the mate of a human at all. But an invader must do whatever he must to survive. But this arrangement won't be for long, As soon as Zim's base is repaired and updated there all pretenses will be gone. Then I can finally dispose of Dib... and his wretched sister.

Dib's POV

I walked down the road that lead to home. Rain rolling off my leather coat and mud ruining my boots. My rage had been exhausted leaving only my rational side to take over. It took nearly two hours to get that brawl under control. Old-kid from back in the day had tried to shoot Willy! Ten people are sitting in the jail tonight. Too bad that bastard Zim isn't with them. But technically I'm the one who threw the first punch. Not one person had seen him strike anyone, leaving him to look like the most innocent party tonight. As erratic and unstable as he is, he's always a step ahead.

Right now I have bigger things to worry about. While I didn't want to believe it, I had a feeling what Zim had said was true. At least some part of it was. It was inconceivable that he ever would stoop so low as to be in any contact with a human much less for romantic purposes. I do remember a time when we were younger where I learned from his dog-child-machine thing that he had been considering pretending to woo a girl for to mantain his image, but there was no subject he even wanted to pretend with. There must be a greater goal aside from feigning human social norms. But what?

Pa would most definitely approve of anyone that would ask to marry Gaz. If Gaz had dragged a stranger off the street, naked, sunburned and talking gibberish, he would give his blessing happily. He's slowly been shifting his focus off me to fill in his shoes onto Gaz. Or at least any husband or grandkids she could offer. I once asked him why he just couldn't leave the company to her. In his opinion, that as much as he would like to, it just never would go over well with his traditional investors, nor did her want to put her in a place of such scrutiny. He didn't know Gaz very well. No, his only conclusion was a marriage.

But Gaz loathes everything, she would have never let Zim talk to Pa. She hates Zim almost as much as I do. Right? I still can't understand why she didn't shoot him earlier when she had a clear shot. My paranoid side wondered if she really could harbor feelings for him, she could be rather secretive when she wanted to be. But I dismissed that quickly. No, she ended up fooling with that device. That must be the key to this mystery. No matter what the reason, this wedding ain't gonna happen. Not on my watch.

I just need to figure out what's happening. And remain calm.

Gaz's Pov. One week later.

I stood on a little pedestal, trying to avoid the mirror in front of me. The wedding was in one hour. The seamstress, Gretchen, was currently finishing up some last touches to my dress. She seemed rushed but that's probably because I demanded a couple changes when I saw the dress Pa had bought. He's not going to be pleased but neither am I. I can't believe I'm going through with this. This is like one of those nightmares when just random events are happening around you that makes sense to everyone in the dream except you. I feel Alice right now. Just being rushed along a crazy dream without any explanation on what is going on or having time to catch my breath.

I tried to look at the silver lining, like Dib told me to. Not that there really was one.

flashback

I put my ear to Pa's study. I had explained to Dib what had happened moment by moment. I spent the majority of the night begging Pa to forget the idea. He brushed me off calling it pre-wedding jitters. I asked Dib to help, exasperated. He fumed and promised he would talk to Pa and end this charade. Right now he was dumping everything he found out about Zim, aside the fact that he's from a different planet. He knew if he brought that up again the conversation would be over immediately. I stayed as still and quiet as I listened.

"He's no good! He's been in an enemy army, sent to kill.."

"That's not any of our business. Military life is hard, Dib. Who knows what horrors he's seen.." Dad said, brushing Dib's concerns off.

"What about the horrors he could inflict on us? Don't you remember that time he kidnapped you?" My brother was starting to sound more concerned.

Pa laughed, "I remember eating bad chili and having wild dreams."

Dib's voiced had been slowly increasing in volume until he was nearly shouting, "This is Gaz we're talking about! She doesn't even like Zim!"

"Of course she does. I saw the passion between those two. She's just getting cold feet."

"You can't be serious! This thing you're wanting give Gaz away to is an outlaw from beyond! He's not only been breaking human laws but who knows what laws he broke with his own people! He needs to be sent to the galllows not.."

I jumped away from the door when I heard something heaving slam. Presumably a fist on a desk, trying to silence Dib, "An outlaw?! Just because you have a badge, Son, doesn't mean you can go after anybody you have a quarrel with. That is the tool of every corrupt lawman and I had hoped that you would root it out when you decided on this reckless path of yours. Now I have had enough of this conversation. I am off to speak to the pastor."

I stepped back when he exited the door, not even noticing me. Dib came out with a defeated look on his face. That had gone uglier for him than I thought. I knew how seriously Dib took his job. He prided himself on his morals. To hear his own father accuse him of being corrupt must have hurt deeply.

He looked at me, apologetic, "I'm so sorry, Gaz. I really did try."

"I know," I said quietly with my arms crossed.

We stood there for several moments until he finally cleared his throat, "It's morning, I have to let those prisoners out. Hopefully they don't try to kill me."

"I'll go with you and provide back up just in case." I said. He nodded and accepted my offer of help.

Along the way, he spoke, "I just wish I knew what Zim was up to."

"Usually I don't care but in this case, so do I,. Dias de los Muertos, Dib. " I sighed, "That's when Pa scheduled it. Who's soul will you be remembering, I wonder? Mine or his?"

"Don't say things like that this close to Halloween. It's bad luck. We don't know if he means you harm. He never has before, at least nothing too serious. Not like what he could've done to get at me, " Dib, ever the optimistic, added, "Besides, there could be a bright side to all this."

I had stopped dead in my tracks to gawk at my brother's most recent display of pure idiocy, "Bright side, Dib? What god damned silver lining could there be?!"

He took his hat off the run his hands through his hair as he thought, "I don't know... Oh! Now you'll have access to Zim! You'll be in a place to hear and see everything! You could find out his plans.."

"That's a bright side for you, not me." I interrupted that train of thought.

"I...Uh..." He stared up t the sky as he tried to dig deeper, "Now you don't have to worry about Pa dogging you about getting married."

"There's that..." I agreed. I continued to think as we started getting closer the the sheriff's office and jail, "If Zim's got some plan than that means he won't expect me to do things other wives do. He'll more than likely leave me to my own devices."

"Yeah... he hates our kind. You'll probably hardly ever see him." Dib nodded.

These hopes felt empty, "Unless he's finally figured out the best way to destroy you is to kill me."

"True. But we both know you could take him." He laughed, "Hell, all you have to do is scare him a little and he'll hide away in a boarded up room."

"That's not the point."

My brother gave me a thoughtful look, seemingly having one of his moments of keen observation, "I think you're less upset about who or what you're marrying but the fact you're getting married at all."

I nodded. This was true, "I hate it, Dib. There's only so many prospects for a woman. Wife, schoolmarm, or prostitute."

"There's secretaries and seamstresses." Dib added joyfully.

I glared at him and continued, "I ain't no good with children, so that crosses out schoolmarm. No way in hell is being a prostitute an option. I guess that does just leave wife..."

I gave Dib a smirk, "Making people miserable is something I have experience in."

I had gone to Zim's later that afternoon to unlock his door. Honestly I was trying to gage him for whatever plan he might have. Strangely the house didn't use keys, all I had to do was put my hand on the door knob. As soon as that was done he had brushed me off and went inside eagerly without even a taunting word at my direction. It wasn't much but I came to the conclusion that this was not some drawn out plan he had in advance but rather an opportunity. And I have a feeling whatever he's after has more to do with his precious alien stuff than going after my family. That had been a relief. Perhaps there could be a way to co-exist, never having to address each other.

The dress was finished now. Originally it had been white lace and taffeta and far too frilly. I had told Gretchen I wanted a different color scheme. At first she tried to refuse. Apparently Pa paid a pretty penny and she didn't want to disappoint the highest paying customer she had. But being terrified of me she complied. It was now red and with black trim, the lace and frills gone. A bustle replaced the hoop skirt and the taffeta was red with black trim and under bust corset. Gretchen chided me. "Marry in white, all will be right. But marry in red, you'll wish you were dead. Marry in black, you'll never be able to come back."

"So?" I scoffed at that stupid poem. Honestly wearing white was a new tradition. One I didn't care for, not that I cared for weddings in general. Besides, it's the day of the dead. I'm not giving up the colors I always wear this time of year. Just because our father no longer celebrates it doesn't mean me and Dib have given up on these traditions as well. We also keep alive our mother's irish beliefs and tales about Samhain as well.

I sighed. Last night we celebrated Hallow's Eve. At first we did what we usually do ever since we could remember. Carve pumpkins and turnips, left out cakes for the dead and all the other beings Dib insisted that existed, and told ghost stories. The classic ones that were meant to scare. Not the one's that are printed in women's magazines, all telling of a helpless damsel full of fear as she enters the dark castle only to find her true love with the master of said mysterious castle in some gothic romance. What kind of stories were those? Boring and cliché. Insulting to my gender, even. There was one new tradition Dib had suggested. Peeling an apple at midnight while looking in a mirror. Supposedly this, as many other of new American Halloween traditions, was supposed to reveal who you would marry. If you see a skeleton in the mirror than you would die a spinster. My brother, being the superstitious sort, probably hoped it would show said skeleton and that the wedding wouldn't take place. I did as he asked. Honestly I saw nothing in the mirror, But Dib swore he saw green. He was sullen the rest of the night, I guess the reality setting in. When dawn came we went to our mother's grave to leave an offering. Her body was not there, having to be buried where she died on the trail on our journey here. But Pa had gave her a proper tombstone for us to visit. I don't remember her. Pa rarely speaks of her. Dib was always the one who would tell me about her. Her personality, her beliefs that has stayed with him. And that I looked just like her. Poor as we were back then, there was only one picture of her. Apparently our father had left it behind, also destroying his own tintype. Ever since his accident, he's resisted posing for more pictures. Not that I can dissagree, it was uncomfortable to sit still so long and then be blinded by a flash of light.

I tried to put this out of mind as I sat down at the vanity and started doing my make up. Gretchen stood there awkwardly before hesitantly speaking, "So... is your brother coming to the wedding?"

"He's sullen about it, but yes." I confirmed and waited for the next question I knew she was going to ask.

She spoke nervously, stuttering a bit, "Is he coming unaccompanied?"

I knew what she was really trying to ask. My brother was considered very handsome by some of the women here, at least that's what I'm told. He'll always look like a moron to me. Poor Gretchen here has always admired him from afar. He never seems to notice her. I sighed, trying to figure out how to break the news gently to her, "Dib prefers to be alone. He's like our father, married to his job. And in all honesty, he's not that great a catch, believe me. The only reason i have not been driven mad by his stupid antics and constant rambling is because I'm his sister, I learned how to tune him out completely."

She looked down, disappointed. But I could tell that she would still harbor some hope to catch his eye. Oh well, her doomed fantasies ain't really my problem.

"Does this mean Dib and Zim won't be fighting anymore?" She asked. I could see the apprehension and hope. I honestly haven't considered this. After giving it some thought, I shrugged, "I doubt it. I don't think anyone can get in between their spats that they are determined to have."

I was finally finished with my make-up and had put my veil on. Gretchen cringed when she saw the skull face-paint and the black mantilla usually worn at funerals over my head held in place by a crown of red roses. I smirked picturing the shocked expressions of the few people that Pa had invited.

I looked at the clock. Time to get this over with.

Zim's POV

Every race through out the universe has some form of ritual when announcing a mate, but this had to be the most complex one Zim has ever seen. Some perceived holy figure was necessary to join the two and prompt the vows. That part was really boring. Not to mention a license had to be obtained from the courthouse before that. Really? What don't humans need a license for? Then we had to exchange rings. The master of the family had helped me get those. Gir ate them twice. Again, they were made of gold. What a waste of a precious resource. And it didn't make sense. It could get lost or one spouse could take it off, hiding the fact they were mated. Irkens exchange something far more lasting. Scars on the neck. To bite close to the jugular and hard enough to bleed and scar but not enough to kill was a symbol of trust. Our necks symbolized vulnerability, and often covered until one finds a mate. Our rituals were practical and focused on the irkens wishing to join. Human's rituals seemed more of a religious event, focusing on the institution. Strange. And all the flowers were making Zim sneeze.

But the thing called a reception was decent. With my people, we don't have an after celebration but perhaps we should. Mainly because of the so called cake. Irkens enjoy snacks and treats. I also somewhat enjoyed Gaz-Thing's attire, as she had chosen my favorite colors. That was flattering she would go through the trouble to please Zim. Plus it matched Zim's chosen ceremonial garb he had to buy earlier. And her face-paint was pretty to look at too. Intimidating yet colorful. Perhaps it's part of the ritual? After all the last words were till death do you part. But then again, maybe not, considering that old lady that fainted as she walked down the aisle.

At last it was over and Zim could go back to his normal routine. Home, finally. On my sofa, I relaxed. A few minutes of rest, I was ready to go to the labs to calculate what needs to be done first for when I get access to the minerals from the mines. I pressed my hand on the scanner, waiting to hear the whoosh of the doors opening. When I heard a loud buzzer, I jumped. Denied? Zim denied from his own labs? Then I remembered.

Gaz unlocked the base to allow Zim in but she is still registered as the master and is the one who grants access. I growled with frustration. Great. now I'm going to have to interact with her again so she can change the settings. That horrible human.

The base alerted that the sensors at the front door had been triggered, than apparently granted access to the intruder. Speak of the devil, as the humans say. Well this should save Zim the trouble of having to go to her and bring her back. I went back up, thankful for once that the elevators were automatic and needed no user identification. As expected, she was sitting on the same sofa I had just been, looking far more annoyed than I was. She had changed her clothes but her face still had some white smudges from her make-up earlier.

I crossed my arms and glared at her, "Why are you here, sitting on my amazing sofa? Do you think you can walk into my base when ever you want now?"

She raised a brow, giving me a confused look, "Uh, yes. I don't have much of a choice."

"What are you talking about?"

She pointed to outside the window, where I saw suitcases stacked in the yard. Now she looked amused, "You do know it's expected for the bride to move in, don't you?"

Actually I had not known that. Yes, many races do share dwellings with their mates, including irkens. I just overlooked this detail when it came to humans and their customs, never really thinking any of them as useful."

"You didn't know!" Now I was being laughed at.

"Zim did too! I just," I stalled trying to think of an excuse, "I just thought that it took more time for such arrangements to be made."

"My bags had already been packed and loaded onto the buggy by the time I came home. This is supposed to be my home now." She then snarled at me, "So I suggest you start making some arrangements now. Namely, where am I going to sleep?"

Gir, who was covered in icing and flower petals came in, just in time to hear the conversation. I grabbed my hearing holes as he screamed, making Gaz wince as well. He jumped up on her, grabbing her face, "You're going to live heeeere? We can make biscuits all daaay! And I'll give you tuna and change your litter, and we can play fetch!"

He was suddenly thrown across the room, and rightfully so. Her usually raspy and disinterested voice was now low and gravely, "I ain't a pet, you dumb bucket of bolts from Hell!"

I sighed, cursing my luck. This she-devil was going to be running loose in Zim's base? Might as well let a rabid coyote in. I tried to think quickly of a solution. Finally Zim's amazing brain came up with a plan to divide the base in two areas. Since I am usually down below, working on such important work, the upstairs could be her living area. The only time Zim goes up is either to eat or to lounge around on the sofa and talk to Gir. Those would have to be the commons areas. The majority of the house itself was a shell that could be modified, with plenty of space for whatever she might need. Hopefully it will be enough space to keep her out of Zim's way.

The Computer could do all the preparations. That reminded Zim of his latest predicament, "You can set up your quarters later. First you need to come with me to my laboratories."

"Why?" She complained and crossed her arms.

"Just do it, it's not like you're being asked to climb a mountain!" After not seeing her budge, I tried a different approach, "The sooner we get this done, the sooner Zim will be out of your hair."

She considered this and agreed through clenched teeth, "...Fine."

"Good." I returned to my military stance, posture straight and hands behind my back to assert some authority as I led her to one of the secret entrances. The elevator was a bit crowded as it was usually only contained one person. I waited for her to snap and say something about having to be so close but she seemed fixated on looking out the glass of the elevator as it descended. She stared at the wires and pipes that occasionally let out streams of steam that we went past. Though she has been her at least twice before as Zim recollects, it seems she still is in awe of such mighty irken technology. Her poor primitive brain.

Finally we reached her destination and I pulled her to the scanner. She glared at me but didn't need an explanation. The doors finally unlocked as she pressed her hand to the scanner. I commanded her to follow me to the control panel. She took in the giant screen with interest.

"Sit!" I ordered snapping her out of her observations.

"Again, I am not a pet!" She hissed but did so anyway, "Now what?"

I looked at the bright blank screen, or so it was blank to Zim at the moment. The computer's display only appears to the current user, a way to keep irken technology and secrets from being seen by onlookers.

"See the settings option? Touch the screen to open it." I instructed.

"And where is that?" She asked and I sighed at her stupidity.

I pointed right at the bottom of the screen, "There! Where it says settings!"

Gaz shoved me away where I had leaned in next to her to show her the screen and hissed, "It doesn't say settings, It's just some symbol that looks like an arrow with a dot in it!"

"That's because it's in irken! That symbols says..." I froze. That symbol did not say settings. It meant delete. With dread, I pointed to another place on the screen, "What do you see here?"

Her narrow eyes squinted nearly to the point of being closed, "Um... I see a crescent moon shape inside a circle?"

I grabbed my antennae as my suspicions were confirmed. Zim had his home screen organized, each file in it's place with all other data inside so I wouldn't have to bother with following the encrypted codes every time I wanted to open a program. The reset must have deleted that now showing millions of complete codes instead of the file shortcuts. it would be impossible for Gaz to find and recognize the code she would need to change the user data.

The control device, even if fixed, was only able to skip the setup and went straight to registering Gaz's hand because of a malfunction.

I started banging my head on the nearest surface, not caring about my audience. There was only one solution. Not only would I have to teach the pre-technology alien to read irken, but how to program as well. That could take months, even years. And during that time, she and not Zim, will be in complete control of Zim's base. She will be considered the master.

It seemed like even I would have to deal with changes with this marriage after all.

Irk be damned to that awful night Zim ever went over to cut off her hand.

A/N: Well, there's that. How come even though I read through the finished product I still notice errors after it's posted? I know this chapter wasn't that exciting, but I hope it's at least starting to move the plot along. There's a lot I haven't even started setting the stage up for yet.

Your reviews are my candy and with that I wish you a Happy Halloween.